Proud to be where I'm from
But home is in front of me
Not of me
Separate from the serpent
Capital Hill
Need a capital offense to live
Walking up hills
Just to take spills

Climbing up a mountain
Reaching the peak
Of success
Exhilarating and envigorating
But, once the mission is complete
What comes next? Another one.
Success is a wheel that runs off of desire
So when it stops turning, what comes next?

Red
White
Blue
Starry night on a canvas
What does it mean?
I once knew, now
I no longer know.

The moon, I smile at you
Every time I feel alone
At least one thing never changes
After all, I still see you

Locations crafted by humanity
Fit one time
One function
Hence why we get uncomfortable
At a quiet school
An empty mall
If it's the exact same-
Why does it make us feel small?

The pilot commands
A robot to function
As they see fit
But when the pilot cannot be trusted
How will anything get done?
That is the brain.

Nails
Hammered into crevices
Corroding the mind
That is already scarred
Scared not of consequence
But of scolding
For releasing the pain
Brings pain to more
Yet, if it cannot be removed
What else is nevermore?

The dreary weather
Pounding against the windows
Entirely impractical-
The windows I have: entirely imaginary
My train is due to come
A stowaway, I am.
The only soother for my wayward will

King of a zero
Fault is mine, wail in the night
Faded money, rags

Today is a new day
Yet it all feels the same
No one else to blame
For mediocrity
Comfort and stability
Stunts all abilities
The search for balance is a balancing act

Debit or credit...?
Questioning the credibility
Of this nuisance that debuted far ago
Forced upon me
Daily living becoming intolerable
Insufferable
If I wanted to suffer
I wouldn't need the card
Dress it up, make it special
Just remember:
We are the ones who made this life
Fully operational
Totally unacceptable

What hat should I wear today?

The ignorant
Want to live forever
The public
Want to keep living
The wise
Never wanted to live

Entrenched in quicksand
A rope hangs daintily above
Mantras of "If I could just reach..."
Become acceptance of reality
Tired of false hopes
Brings nothing but tragedy
Avalanche of emotions
Sinking deep into the ground
In motion, peace has been found
What was once deadly, danger
Peace has been found
I have been found
My soul has been found
In the midst of demise
Acceptance, found

No longer
Can I taste
The fresh flavor of fun
Is it because of too much exposure?
Has my mind changed?
Has the world changed?
When will the fun come?
Is fun important? Is life important?
Too many questions with no distraction
I care about nothing
I feel nothing
I am innocent--no longer

Talent only shines
In the darkest night
So when a sky is full of stars
It's easy to get lost
No acclaim to fame, only shame

My bed is a king
But I am no royalty
For it is incomplete
Without a queen
Yet I never deserved one
A kid can be no king
Nor can he control a kingdom
Relieved of this duty
For control of so many
No pleasure, only pressure

Scraping the walls
That resemble my mind
I cannot think coherently
For my sight
Has gone blind
My ears
Have gone deaf
My touch
Has numbed
My smell
Has died
Toppled by nightmares
Which persist when awake
Wishing for the day
To fly away

I cannot look into eyes
Not out of bashfulness
The iris tells no lies
Staring into the color
I see the stories:
A journey of chaos
A past of conflict
A presence of confusion
I cannot look into eyes
Because they never lie

Authentic fly
Artifical leaf
Life into death
Free from the make-believe

Walking through a forest
Eyes around, but not noticed
Snapping twigs unleash no motion
Blind to the world, deaf to the squirrels
Destroying peaceful beasts
To make a centerpiece
Why do I feel so at peace
In a place of pure grease?
Nature is a masterpiece, always released
Free from the connections that bring no direction
Upon reflection, this place is a correction

We did it!
Saved the city
I call my home
But...
It doesn't feel familiar
Did we forget to
Put something back?
Cortal Avenue
Not the same
We won
So why am I not
Proud?
It's time to celebrate
All I can ponder
Is the next challenge ahead
Without another
How will we grow?
Sometimes though
I wish it would stop
No more trials
Peace, come to me
I don't want to win
Instead
Give me a haven
Reject the legends
I accept tranquility

If I let these words
Solely define me
All I will ever be is a thesaurus
On the stage of history
No victory, only purgatory
I see the truth but my eyes are blind
If I look for a grander truth inside
All I find is a bitter taste, sorrow on all sides

Missed an hour
No problem
Missed 3 hours
That's a problem
At risk of disease
Not good
I've caught a cold
It's not even winter
Forgot something
What day is it?
Need to visit my grandpa
Hopped in the vehicle
Woke up
To shattered realization
If only I slept
At a daily rhythm

Oh, you trapped my soul
Locked it in the jailhouse
I came here a man out of time
Today a parasite
Clinging onto the walls
Wrapped around the bars
Stone walls are my friend
Prisoners are my family
Orange jumpsuits for a uniform
Carving the lines into the granite
What time is my parol?
Tastebuds conform to the slop
No one believes my cries
This verdict isn’t mine
I never did the crime
I must have been framed like a picture
Tricked by the trickster
My lawyer was in on the plot
Helped no one but himself
Oh, you trapped my soul
When will the day come
Where I leave behind these walls?
Somedays I think
This is where I belong.

Assigned at birth
I'm your Lenta
Use me anyway possible
First for love
Hug me
Pick that up, please
Now you've...
You're the same.
Just a little bit of ferocity
**** them
Grab him
Put him in the Sanction
It's the same.
It's the same...

Words that saved you, shot
Poisoned your vitality
From the exact tongues

I remember a dream
Late in the night
The eve of lucid thought
Cleaning a park
Black and red
Sketched in like a middle school doodle
My body was paper
Flimsy yet malleable
In the edge of the park
Parked on granite steps
Third from the bottom
Was an old man
I approached with careful steps
Gazing at my legs
Slowly raising his head toward the sky
A moment of brilliant silence
The man began to laugh
Unrelenting
Never stopping to breathe
Pointing at me
My essence
I hit him
But my bones connected
Into nothing
I awoke
To red
All-around
The kitchen floor
Is it my turn
To clean?

Hope
Despair
Both apples
Fallen from the same tree

Others
Above myself
This is my own hell
For I never desired
To be me
I feel fake
For others to be real
It must be why I am
Willing to sacrifice
A life, never wanted

A disconnected fool
A dying boy
A public enemy
Broken people
Burned bodies
Scarred for centuries
Never erased

Standing
On the edge of a pier
I walk, I always walk
Never eager for it to end
But soon
Even if I crawl
It will end
It has to end
For it is here
Soon, it will be there
In that place, I do not know
Because the moment I grew
Every time I look back
I'm always looking
For you
Until the day I drown
I will wander, I will wonder
What happened to you?

My skin and bones
Left to the dogs
Stripped clean
Of freedom and flaws
Because now, none of it matters
I breathed in life, now I am a life
The reaper called my name
In gentle reassurance
Searched for purpose, years wasted
Now it is clear, the truth I have tasted
Anxiety dissipates
Life is now what I generate

For some
It is easier to suffer silently
As opposed
To being ridiculed
By persistently fake positive tendencies

Lifted above
Ascending above our heads
Arms support
A sleeping body
Exhausted from crisis
Tired of fighting
c
r
a
s
h
.
.
.
A rival appears
One that never passed grade school
We tried to get them away
Cough
More coughing
She's awake...
The ruiner of our days
Will be blocked
By the woman
With a broken bat
She may not win...
But she'll try
Until she becomes a sacrifice.

Bombshells
Carbon smells
Once the ash disintegrates
The victors integrate
Policy
Practice
Prayers
All destruction for reconstruction
Look back at the carnage and ask
Is it worth the lives you looked past?

Cast to the river's depth
Punctured on prevalent pieces
Stone and flesh come to one
Commander has fallen
Leader’s reign comes to an end
Not by human hand
By chance
Roll fate’s dice
Taking up the mantle
Emotions soon dismantled
Feel like an imposter
Invading a title I never deserved
Everyone’s got their doubts
There are many routes
Down to the grave
Avoiding grief at all costs
Last time I led
Looked for bodies not men
Time taught me
Chance is the way of life
Brace the spirits of the men
Recognize the wishes of the women
“Welcome to paradise”
Who’s paradise is this?
Not one I pursue
Slung around wrists
Cold metal I was raised in
Leading brought me trouble
Now I end where I began
On the wrong side of life
Corrupted mind
Purified heart
It’s all I can muster
Fresh out of luster

Home of security doors
None can be hurt
But none are invited either

The flowers have bloomed
Alive and renewed, nature
Healed, what about you?

Once you ask for advice
And get no answer
It is silent guidance
Filtered by experience

Victim of the cortex
Home of the addicted
Behavior overtaken
Turned into a lifestyle

Awoken in a bed
Deprived of mobility
Only a brain
Hell on highwater
Thoughts become prominent
The only muscle that remains
After years of disregard
I now know the pain
Negligence, forgetfulness
Spiraled into a death march
Bathed in a trail of tears
I desire the right to die
But is it right to die?
Living, but hardly
Surviving, as a burden
Physically broken
Only time will tell when the mind goes too
Give it three--maybe two weeks
Until the brink falls into the drink
And all things fade away as I blink

Doomsday predictions
All the possibilities are fiction
Yet I fear for the day
When one rings true

From birth
I was given immortality
Never able to die, unless defied
By traumatic injury, to my earthly form

It gets lonely, staying so long
I've discovered lands, traveled across seas
But when it goes indefinitely
Achievements go from celebratory  
To mandatory

All things have an end
I only wish
That I could have one.

My foot
Was caught on a dream
For I had built a palace
Much like my dream palace
Yet, it looked nothing like it.
The unending freedom of imagination
Came crashing down
Giving birth to dismay

At first, I was shocked
Now I am old, it is the standard.

The more things change
The more they stay the same
Just a coat of paint
On the same outdated structure

One day, I took a vacation
Tired of the suffering
Stress
And hysteria
So, I traveled across the world
To a country, filled with hopes
Upon arriving, I saw:
Suffering
Stress
And hysteria...
...
I no longer take vacations
For the view was good
But the atmosphere, a façade.

Truth
Distorted by the perceiver
People fight to prove theirs
Reminders of how primal we are

Call the laborer a slave
For they both have chains
Ones that have none, fight for more
Toiling at a place I once enjoyed
Now I sit around and think
"Will I ever see joy?"
Using entertainment to block out the hate
But my brain speaks a truth
Not even I want to hear
Going insane at a daily stage
All I own are distractions
That separates me from the membrane

I feel old, I feel young
I feel energetic, I feel lethargic
I feel close, I feel distant
I feel everything, I feel nothing
I feel dead, I feel alive
I feel defeated, I feel succeeded
I feel alone, I feel known
I feel broken, I feel whole
I feel love, I feel scorn
I feel myself, I feel you
I feel for me, I feel for you
I feel your pain, let's help it too