To both crave and hate touch
I find this too much,
it’s a cloud sitting over my mind;
a sensation I can’t unwind;
a binding I can’t unbind.

I can dream of the heat,
but can’t seem to repeat
the same urges whilst I lie awake;
each time feels unbearably fake;
I give so much more than I take.

I am drawn to you;
a body to press against my own.
I know it’ll fit
wonderfully
into every curve and crevice.

Cloudy;
my world is
hazy
tound the edges.

I’m walking with a
vignette filter
on my eyes,
like glasses I can’t remove.

But I’m sober,
I think.
I’ve been high, yes,
most days;
but not today.
I’ve drunk, yes,
always too much;
always ending in aches and
some sorrow;
but that was last night;
not today.

I already know that tomorrow’s
forecast is cloudy
too.

I love you;
despite everything.

Despite all the times I’ve
broken down into nothing.

Despite every shade of green
I’ve ever turned.

Despite the space and time
between us like a hopeless
black hole.

Despite the nights spent
sitting at windows, waiting and
wishing.

And despite the fact that
everything about this is killing me
from the inside out;

I love you.

I am etched with ink,
stretched from yoga
and a dangerous habit of thinking.

I am balancing,
edging my way
along this
lifeline
which someone has placed high
above all of my years,
so that I am trying
(as hard as I might)
not to look down,
and
t
   u
      m
        b
          l
            e
into the past.

I am soft.
Soft like a peach.
Peachy like a peach.
Curvy,
pinkish,
yummy like a peach.
Soft like little kisses.
I love little kisses.

Strong.
I am strong like a girl.
Fight me, I bite,
not just peaches.
I am strong
of tongue and heart
and arms and legs.
Strong like carved muscle.
I love my muscle.