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 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
Ode to Ode
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
Ode to the belt
And how nice it never felt
Ode to the fist
That knew just how to make my stomach twist
Ode to the bruises
Which left no excuses
Ode to my jaw
For that punch it never quite saw
Ode to my ears
All those nights when I could hear my brothers' tears
Ode to my dad
And every time he's ever gotten mad
Ode to the world
And every obstacle its hurled
Ode to ode
And how well it never quite bode
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
People Leave
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
People leave
It's not a new thing
Not being worth it
Just kinda ***** to have your insecurities confirmed
Like everything bad I ever thought about myself you were thinking too
And eventually you gave up
So why don't I
If so many people give up on me why can’t I
Because...
I don't want to die
Though I beg for it everyday
There's something keeping me a live
There's something keeping the pill bottle closed
And my feet on the ledge
It's my hope
My hope that everything's going to get better
That it'll all be ok
That my life isn't meaningless
But it's hard to believe
That I'm not being deceived
Because if they don't think
That I'm worth something
Then why do I
Isn't it majority rules?
And if I asked them they'd all beg me to live
But why
Why when yesterday they told me I wasn't worth the trouble
Why
people **** what do you do
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
"Trust Me"
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
You say trust me
It's ok
I won't let you fall
And yeah
Maybe right then
I won't fall
But what about two weeks from then?
Or three months?
I'm always going to fall
And you won't always catch me
So stop telling me to trust you
You say it and two months later you're gone
You got bored of me
Found something better
You got mad
I hurt you
I wasn't good enough for you
But you hurt me too
Still I don't leave
I never leave
It's always you
All of you
Not too many repeats
Different one each time
You break down however many walls you can
Then you take
And run
I give
And I give
And you,
You take
I'm tired of trusting
You're all convinced you're different
Which in turn convinces me
But you're not
So I put up more walls
Still you get stronger
I get weaker
I'm desperate for your love
So I trust
And you
You leave
I'm just tired of everything that's all I got
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
Blue is for boys
Pink is for girls
What about purple,red, and orange?
Where do those fit in our gender norms?
Is there a place where we can just be?
A human
No forms
Not quietly
But loud
Where boys can wear dresses and girls can make messes
Being proud
That they are free
Not being told
Who they are
So that they fold
Into societies messes
Why can't they wear dresses or cut their hair short?
We need to abort
These silly notions of what it is to be a man or a woman and just be human
I went to a baby shower
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
Punching a wall
Not the best decision to make
Yet here we are with fate
Consequences for trust
Anger is a must
Not going to cry
Simply let out a sigh
I knew the risk
I played the cards
I made a fist
Because tears don’t solve anything
They just sting
I'm angry with myself
For being a fool
So I’ll put my emotion on a shelf
Forget that they are there
Simply to prepare
For my new rule
Don’t let anyone in
Open a bottle of gin
Forget the world around
And please don’t make a sound
Then maybe they’ll forget us too
Just let me slip through the cracks
Because I can’t face the facts
Of everyone who could hurt me
I never imagined you
I trusted
And my heart got busted
But at least it’s mine
You can’t have a single piece
Because I’m fine
I never signed that lease
I got dumped. I punched a wall. I wrote a poem.
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
Game
 Apr 2016 jinx
Phim
Good girl
*** hair
No way
Not fair
Fat thighs
Nice ***
Acne face
Hourglass
Wonder if that's all they see
No way to know
Is that me?
Chubby cheeks
Button nose
Perfect lips
Hairy toes
Good enough?
All the same
Picture perfect
That's the game
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
"Excuses"
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
You want to be pretty but not too pretty

But does it really change anything?

They **** you if you if you have on too little clothes

They **** you if you have on too much

There are so many excuses

She was asking for it

I was doing her a favor

I’m the victim here

Is there any way to be safe?

Is there any way to know that this isn’t the day that your entire life could change?
They whistle, they shout, they holler at you like you are an animal

But you can’t fight back
Three against one
So you keep walking
Praying they don’t follow you, grab you

Or even stab you because you didn’t return their crude remarks with a thank you
Society says that

We should accept ****** harassment as a compliment

But I don’t need your opinion on my body

I don’t want you looking at me like I am a piece of meat

I am not a ****** object made to please you

I want to live in a world where I don’t have to be afraid of men

Worried that smiling at them is interpreted as an invitation

Or by not means I need to be taught a lesson

I want my son to look at women as what they really are

Beautiful, brilliant creatures

And not by what society tells him they are

Objects, available for your pleasing

I want to be able to watch my daughter walk out of the house and

Not worry that she might never come back because a
 MAN decided that she was there for the taking

But we don’t educate

We don’t teach in our schools how common ****** harassment is

Or the effect that **** has on a woman because a man’s perogative is to get what he wants
Or how every woman is terrified that her body, her self will be taken from her

Why?
Because we’re uncomfortable

We don’t speak out because we don’t want to disrupt

I’m tired

I’m tired of these excuses
Inspired by catcalling pretty self explanatory
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
Little Fishy
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
Swim swim little fishy
Aren’t you having dinner with the little missy?
Better hurry to your date
Don’t want to be late
Oops you got stuck!
Get out! GET OUT!
You’ve got to run from the duck
He’s coming your way
I can’t I’m stuck in a soda can!
cried the fish
Oh don’t I just wish
That my water was clean
Without trash or waste
The ocean use to be a nice place
But now I can’t even swim without
Getting stuck in a can
That was put there by man
And now I’ll die like the rest  
Because my natural habitat was distressed
And I’ll miss my date
But it’s all too late
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
Replay
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
Pink puppies and yellow cats don't really match
But sometimes you find that in the right space in time
They can bond
Just from playing in the lawn
It all happens so fast
Still it feels like it will last
Because pink puppies love to cuddle and snuggle
And yellow cats are adventurous and can teach them how to juggle
So they warm each other in the night and plan adventures in the light
Pink puppy loved this arrangement
But the yellow cat wanted something with more sentiment
So they hurt each other
With their claws and their teeth
Because while a pink puppy and yellow cat can love each other
They don't communicate
One of them is straight
So eventually they desert each other
There's no more warmth in the night or plans of adventure in the light
Just an awkward space when their eyes meet across the market place
And they know they didn't want the same things
But still their regrets ring and ring
Because pink puppies and yellow cats do love each other just not in the same way
So they go for the remote but they don't have opposable thumbs to press replay
Um yeah
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
Untitled
 Feb 2016 jinx
Phim
It's a desolate kind of living yet still she keeps on giving
Depressed as she may be
She'll never let you see
She's happy
She's fun
The party has just begun
But she's ready to go home
She is tired to the bone
Still sleep doesn't give her peace
Her dreams are filled with beasts
She wakes up screaming
Then cries herself to sleep
The cycle then repeating
You'll see her Sunday morning
Thanking God for the life he has given
All while wondering if it's even worth living
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