I never really learnt how to act around you.
That was because there was no acting involved.

Our connection was natural;
With you I was comfortable.

You saw beauty where no one else did,
And that's why I think of you -
When my eyes are closed and I silently pray;
For a dreamless sleep.

I think of you when it's wrong,
I think of you when I shouldn't.

Like the calm before the storm
Like the calm before your sleep
Until the nightmares come
like the waves on a stormful sea
They pull you in without consent
Hooking you with razor-like fingers
You are forced to fully submerge
as the waves pummel you over and over
Just before You are about to drown
You are spit out

after the waves have left your bones bruised
after the waves have left your and skin scarred
a second of relief and a moment of breath
then the waves come again and again without the mercy to let you take a single breath.

Of course
You fight
Like a fish struggling for water
The waves become harder and harder still
Relentless in their beating of you
Their destroying of your Heart
So that you can no longer call it yours
But it’s still beating

Sometimes you begin to think
Maybe if you drown
Maybe you'll wake up
You can't call out for help
your lungs are full of water
Kicking and thrashing only does so much
You can't win because the waves are so much stronger
You can’t see a way out
The sky is devoid of light or signs of life
There is no lifeguard on the shore to see
There is no innocent bystander to call for
There is nothing
There is a void of empty where there should be something
Should be something
Other than the waves and you
And your heart that is no longer yours
But is still beating

All You can do is watch as you drown
From a first person perspective
Watch your body be shattered and ripped to pieces
Underneath each and every wave

But through it all
The only thing you are sure of:
You are drowning miles away from an ocean
But your tears do taste like the spray

the shadows of the morning
grow long and wide

they are the last bits of darkness in our world
as the night turns to dawn

the shadows
they tell me

“this is what hope is”

and I ask back
curious to know

“how do you know hope?”

I was confused
how could a shadow know anything of hope

the shadow responded
all so suddenly

“after the long night
there will always be dawn”

and with that
the shadows disappeared into the light

Maybe this is my story?

This is where I chose if I live or die
if I do what is wrong or right

but even in my death
I will raise my voice

my time is almost up

so hopefully

hopefully my shout will echo
echo into the masses of people

hopefully

hopefully my shout will echo
echo into the canyons of those who crouch in cowardice

hopefully
hopefully my shout will echo
echo into the spaces of the silent still too scared to speak

Hopefully

hopefully my cry of defiance
will echo farther than ever before

hopefully

hopefully people will not only hear my shout
but that their hearts will listen also

and hopefully

hopefully
hopefully a few will stand up