I've built in deep mistrust
Gavin Barnard

I broke my heart today.
Left it in the dirt, shattered.
Who needs one anyways?
Love always leaves you scattered.

My light has left me once again.
The darkness is my only friend.
I don't need light's deductibles,
Without friends, I'm indestructible.

My river is flowing away
With my blood and dreams.
Nothing is ever here to stay.
Not even my many queens.

All I want in life is to be alone.
Gone without the temptation.
They've turned me into a stone
Worthy of fragmentation.

Everybody wants only lust,
And never ever true love.
I've built in deep mistrust
To leave behind just dust.

"But you changed this all for me"
A Thomas Hawkins
A Thomas Hawkins
Jul 16, 2010

No arguments were made
or evidence exposed
convincing bad assumptions
turned the open sign to closed

If that is all it takes
baseless suspicion, fear and doubt
perhaps thats the sign you're looking for
the one that lets you out

There's been no misinformation
no vagueness and no lies
but every now and then
I see doubt creep in your eyes

I can't help you solve this issue
only you choose who to trust
but there's no relationship without it
you can't get by on lust.

As for me well I trust everyone
until they show me I should not
better that than throw it all away
over something soon forgot

Aug 27

but you were not there
when everything was falling down

so dont tell me
that you wont ever leave

because i once believed in your words
but it led me to something treacherous

#life   #mistrust  

It really doesn't matter
what she says,
most of it is bullshit
She learned it
early on,
when she vowed
never to trust again.
And in that process,
creating broken hearts
became a habit
she thrived on.
She will never change
& they will never be the same.

ting what could have been, giving in to mistrust
Deborah Perne

Our worlds collide
Yet, we do not seem to be able to ally
I look into your eyes
No spark, just blurred lines
An abundance of possibilities thrust upon us
We could seize this moment but we refrain…
Contemplating what could have been, giving in to mistrust
Afraid of getting too far for fear that we might get pain
All the things that we could have been thrown away
Such a pity we prefer the getaway
Instead of risking to feel the heartbreak
How can we hope for happiness without some ache?
After all, all the good things have a cost
I cannot take facing the future we have lost
What is the point of living without some risk?
Yesterday’s love seems to taint today’s new interest…

#love   #future   #lost   #chance   #mistrust   #avoid  

The muck I made
        stuck to me boots
water and soil, I grow roots,
enough to stay put in one place,
look me in the eye, and stare me in the face,
dare to go where your dare takes you, a disgrace,
the lies,
the gossip,
takes hyssop,
                          to cleanse this vessel soiled,
                                          by those who toil,
with evil in their hearts,
sparks that start,
let them believe they are actually alive,
it is sad,
it is me that has to break it to them,
it is they who have died to the truth,
it is the circle they surround themselves
that has drowned them
it is the honest life that has left them behind;
                                            bereft without hope...
they will fall away,
they have gone astray,
from what it is to be human.
Drama drama everywhere, only salty tears to drink.
Don't treat me like the animal, you have become.
It is a misadventure.

Don't ask, don't...for J

Before the sun peaks through the sky
Lighting all the things I wish to hide
Before the early birds rise
There is a tranquility
The silence is eerie
Calmness settles over me
I find peace and acceptance
Within my incongruity

The uproar in my mind
Is temporary replaced with feelings so sublime
I feel my body glide
Levitate to meet the sunrise
I have no need for explanations
or external reassurance
When kindness lies within my own eyes

Walking down the dirt roads of this ghost town
I think of the rarity of this complacency
My eyes are no longer crusted shut
I feel no need to reflect or recollect
I merely observe the beauty
Enjoy the present unfold before me
And wish for the apocalypse to come
To make this absence of human activity a permanent reality

I cherish the foiling of connectedness and singularity
Alone but always together
The wildlife waking in the cheatgrass
soothes me into serenity
reassuring me that the sounds of consciousness
will not affect this new-found levity
I come to accept the ticking of time
And I radiate optimism and readiness for the day

I wait for the bus with patience in place of anticipation
I love driving through town
relying on others to get around
As long as I am not the one in control
I am comfortable being lost and directionless
I enjoy the distraction of the passing landscape
It seems too immense to be
a manifestation of my imagination
The way it removes me from my sad body
Into something much more than me
The beauty of the world is limitless
It envelopes me
Sending me to equivocal destinations

I feel this weightlessness become a headache
And soon I come back into my body
And into the thoughts and obligations I try to avoid
Fearing that this moment of happiness
Is slipping from my reality
I try to find some peace of mind
but I have no motivation to fight for an illusion
I return to my old darkness
Avoiding the light and the images it shows

With no basis for its existence
I begin to see all displays of optimism
as noxious naivety
promising but never quite what it seems
when it comes to me
It's always superfical and fleeting
Like the affection of my mistress
It is devoid of any true meaning

I trust nobody but myself about whom I have suspicions.

Olivia Anderson

Its a smell:
you reek,
like the cheap beer you drink.

Its a feeling
I get when
you walk into a room:

Its a face
to the problem
caused by all the
problems before it:

A mix of current issues (Women Rights) with a dash of personal history.
#trust   #alcohol   #empty   #gender   #party   #equality   #beer   #room   #mistrust   #womenrights  
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