In a new life, new emotions, new thoughts and new possibilities,
A heart held open can beat new rhythms;
The song can sound different, the tune can change,
But the intention remains the same;

Love, peace, hope: compassion ...
A heart held open can withstand pain and
Grow stronger, mightier, and wiser.
A heart held open can hold paradoxes, which is life.

The fight of the mind twisting and turning,
tortured; I am learning,
my mind and soul conflict.

desire enlarges,
but duty surpasses,
action thus constricts.

Dreams or delusions?
Passion or fusion?
Which am I to pick?

Where can I go?
to see this through,
and become the one who I seek?

Judgment, misunderstandings, self-protection,
all weapons of mass destruction:
wounding others and ourselves,
with each thought and resulting action.

Lady Macbeth knew this,
why did we not heed her justice?
Warning bells clanging,
freeing us to step onto a new precipice?

There's blood on my hands,
every time I don't trust and understand,
but think I know it all,
and make my demands.

Perfectionism has been my cleansing balm,
but, in the end, it's just caused more harm,
relearning is my matrix,
continuously transforming and becoming calm.

Twitches, goose pimples (bumps), shivers and hot and cold flushes,
Body, you are speaking to me.
I hear you.
I notice you.
I encourage you to talk;
Tell your story.
Discharge all your anxiety,
Release all your rage,
Unfreeze all your fear,
With me, you are free,
My container is cosmic now,
I have matured, I have calmed,
I am listening.
I am trusting.
You can be free to feel,
So share.
I welcome you.

Being
Real
And
Valuing
Everything about yourself!

Grief is like being drunk...

Hungover with grief; the heavy cloak of love
Cutting you off from reality,
Cocooning you, all the while changing you.
Surrendering the struggle, to survive
Paradoxically helps you thrive.

Can't beat a great coffee; delights all the senses with rich, silky milk, all frothy.

I'm one of those,
There are many of us now,
The daughter of a narcissist, exposed.
It should be his cover that's blown,
But I guess now it’s my own,
So I can see the cost, all the talent, confidence and opportunities lost,
Because of small men,
Cowering.

The grief is deep,
It wells and swells
Deep inside.
I now want to draw near
The deep, and
Peer down inside,
See the waves crashing,
See the pretty foam
From the chaos,
Deep inside.
When I come close,
It’s refreshing,
Calming,
Mesmerising.
Lulling me into a deep sleep.
Transforming me from the inside out,
So that your new creation
May come forth.
Be present.
Even in the cold,
Even in the chaos,
Even in the unknown, and
Even in the loneliness.
Even.
Deep.

That, which is before me, I take hold.
Stepping forth with the keys,
once wearily, but now growing bold. 
Down, black dog, down.
Joy: light in thin cracks extol.
My heart, growing in strength
stepping out more bold,
it’s the only way to learn, heal and grow peacefully old.

Down by the Murray River,
where life swims all around;
above and beneath the surface,
in this heat, everything flows.
Beers, BBQs, budgie smugglers and babes in bikinis,
memories bobbing above ground
capturing freedom, post-pandemic and pre-celebrations.

Down by the Murray River,
watching things flow safely and soundly,
birthing new possibilities:
boyfriends, babies, businesses and brews?!
Endless possibilities abound,
prophecies realised; salvation.

Down by the Murray River,
with nature, our souls sing loudly,
simplicity is possible,
trusting and enjoying,
everything is allowed.

Have a goal, they taught,
So, I set out but faced roadblocks.
Keep trying, they said,
So, I didn’t give in and embraced the setbacks.
Sometimes, stalling, enduring the detour,
Brought me more life than just paychecks.

Grey skies loom,
Threatening oncoming turmoil.
Or, a promise of loosening
Fixed ways?

Focusing just on intelligence,
Denies the complete picture;
Overthinking small matters,
Distracts your mind;
Omitting your strength from the full experience,
Disconnects your heart from your soul;
Losing yourself in others,
Deadens your true potential;
Instinctively living is only possible when you
Don’t hide from your truth.
Shame is the slime that obscures your view,
Demolishing the almighty power within.
Hiding was a survival mechanism, but now,
Disentangling from these faulty patterns will bring you true life.

I was out foraging in the woods today,
This morning, when it was cooly,
Dark, and quiet, only the birds had a say.

I saw the sun force the darkness to hide,
Allowing me to see;
Strewn branches, twigs and leaves astride.

Dead waste or my fire’s delight?!
I came home successfully,
Joyfully and proud with the efforts of my might.

Accolades have been my fortress
Comparisons my torturer,
Liberation seemed unreachable,
daunting under duress,
A well-chosen ***, destined for my future....

Venturing the path trodden less
Seemed anxiety-provoking; insane
A roaring lioness,
but with the mouse hidden in my mane.

Held just the same, but
Hoping, wishing to drop them; release the pain
Dreams of a different life, unrut
Freedom and flow beckon my name.

I hear you, little girl,
You don’t need to hide.

I hear you, little girl,
You don’t need to perform.

I hear you, little girl,
You are now growing into a woman.

I hear you, little girl,
And cry for the things that were stolen.

I cry for you little girl,
You can just be.

I cry for you little girl,
You are brave with much to offer.

I smile for you, little girl,
And am so proud of who you’ve become.

I heal for you, little girl,
And let you rest for a while.

Wanted to be seen;
Valued.
No matter what.
Pleased people to the point;
Unvalued.
Invaluable learning.

Critics collude together in cliques to keep themselves safe from reality.
Truth is subjective, they say, diluting its potency and dilating its delusions.
But grounded, truth becomes a platform on which to
kick critics to the curb,
Taste the dirt of their terse tunes.

I want to climb the heights,
And touch your face.
I want to swim in the depths,
And enjoy your embrace.
I want your love,
To drive out fear.
I want to dance freely,
And draw you nearer.

Stillness is where it all begins,
In quietness and rest, you will gain life again.
In release and trust is where it continues.
In standing, with arms wide open,
In outstretching hands,
In exhaling,
In breathing,
In being,
In.
Be.

There was a little girl,
With a little curl,
But when she looked around
Others could be found
Tall ones, short ones,
Sportier and funnier ones.
They looked like they’re having so much fun,
She thought, miserable, she sat glumly.
With head in hands,
She couldn’t see the fanfare and bands:
Celebrating life in all it’s abundance,
Lost, she was, deep in a trance.
But, then, deeper within,
Life spoke, welcoming her in.
You are loved, there’s no-one like you!
Why look to others, when you know it to be true?!
So off she embarked,
On a new adventure: divinely marked
Out just for her, and you...
Hearts held open can be renewed.

I had become my grief, lost,
How I let myself, I did not know.
I thought I was on track,
That’s until I look back and find an unknown path.

I know I try to control,
To make sense of what does not.
But every time, You are there.
You have my back and You are everywhere.
This loop is all too familiar.
It’s time to change, but how?

You give me glimpses,
And I trust for a moment.
I am happy, then forget.
But I want to grow from this place.
I want to stand confidently, trusting Your grace.

You are with me.
You’re all around.
I am not lost,
But lovingly found.

Every moment is precious,
even the mundane and superfluous.
The torment, grief-stricken and disastrous,
all these moments, yes all, are the days of MY life.

New secrets discovered,
more moments cry out to be recovered.
Embracing all, nurturing, to be mothered,
anew, renewed, refreshed and restored.

Press in; delight.
Expand; day and night,
rejoice; praise despite,
living as new, but in the old.

Maturity births sweeter wine,
wisdom pearls are mine,
all these gifts are thine,
I drink this cup now and forever.

We just gathered,
out in the sun
coffee, play equipment, and water fun,
mothers, daughters, father and sons,
monkey bars were spied,
my inner child went wild
as I threw my legs up, up and over,
swinging and hanging smiles more than mild.
Why don't we do that,
more often than not?!

Mother;
Mothering? Smothering?
do we need to re-mother?
Love of another?
Enduring legacy of
Loss and despair,
Acceptance, love and joy.
Reconciliation.
Mother;
You help us to recover,
Hope for more to come,
And life to enjoy!

You make all things new!
What was lost, damaged, and of no value,
can be transformed.
Little by little,
Breath by breath,
Choice by choice.
Drop by drop,
fills a pond.
You are faithful;
My transformer.

My walk to freedom;
There is no tomorrow.
Yesterday is gone.
There is only here, now.
Let the forest speak:
The mountains and the water,
Hear their voices, they become
pathways to wholeness, giving you
Freedom in thought.

I don't think I spend too much,
But then I spill out my shoe
Collection, an addiction sorted by hue.
Cupboards flung open to reveal the gradient of such
And don't get me started on bags and the clutch!

Rivers of life run deep,
But then I look at the contents of my journals;
The "now and not yet" cries reveal how hormonal
Am I. Dim focus on the eternal creeps
To cover more of the heart, I try to keep.

New year near and nearer;
But a return to stillness yearns.
When we hide, these addictions burn,
Igniting guilt, shame and all,
Where are you simplicity? Is this the fall?

How sad? that my initial thought,
When I saw a man in church,
Lead youth out, was: how creepy!
I’m sure he is lovely, but even his looks
Made me lurch,
within myself, and yell: it’s not safe!
This distorted world robs innocence,
Smashes precious platforms and
Hijacks joy.
How do we restore this;
Elevate hope again?
All I have are questions, no answers.
How can we better love ourselves and one another?
How can we extend compassion?
It starts with ourselves!

Off the top of my head,
here are the body idioms that I can recall;
we could go eye for an eye,
or tooth for a tooth over them,
and we'd be neck and neck with all the phrases,
but we'd still fall short recalling them all, I'm sure.

We'd probably get bored,
because it's a tall order.
If it turns into a fight,
you may get sick to the stomach or
fall head over heels about it
and then you'd be really in over your head.

It might be a total, 'no-brainer!'
and I may continue for a little longer to pick your brains,
but you will start pulling your hair out, I'm sure.
I would then suggest a drink to let your hair down,
where you could oblige or tear your hair out in frustration.
We may even split hairs over the peculiarities of every phrase.

Perhaps you'll raise an eyebrow over some,
especially if you wear jeans and a T-shirt for a dinner party,
that will raise eyebrows!
If you're not nosy, then you'll move on,
and I will seal my lips about the subject.

You could then pay lip service to coax me back and sink your teeth into a new round.
But by that stage, all the sayings will be on the tip of my tongue and
I'll just have to face the fact that
there'll always be two-faced people in the world,
no matter how kind you are to include them in this game.

Screaming on the inside again,
This horrible feeling hangs over me like shame,
Will it ever be different, or just the same?
Even when the fires are raging all around,
A new fire is taking shape on the inside.

No more, no more, no more!
Give this tune a new name, it’s time to soar,
Time to stop being silent; no, it’s time to roar!
I’m not a little girl anymore, I’m grown,
It’s time to harvest the seeds sown.

Dream big, play hard it’s time, let’s go!
Put the books on the shelf, there’s so much to know,
In life, through experience, grow in confidence as you flow,
There’ll always be more,
So just step out and taste what’s install!