Most men run like clockwork.
Each piece is relevant to the system.
Alas, I am different.
I am a clock, like all other men,
But I am filled with broken parts:
Broken gears, broken hands,
And broken everything else.
I can no longer move forward in time
For my hands are stuck
Cursed to tell and retell one minute.

Why would the clockmaker
Turn me into a monstrosity?
Is this a punishment for my sins
Or is it a challenge I cannot win?
Am I broken to start with
Or is this a cruel joke?
I wish not to retell the same time
Because it is a time that haunts me.
A time that has brought me grief.
Fix me, so I may not be stuck.

She's just a friend
Who I share common interests with
She's just a friend
Who doesn't reply sometimes
She's just a friend
I talk to about movies
She's just a friend
I share my favorite songs to
She's just a friend
Who listens to my sadness
She's just a friend
That I share stories to
She's just a friend
That I think the world of
She's just a friend
To whom I would give my heart to
She's just a friend
Who I'd want to hold hands with
She's just a friend
Who I'd trust with my heart and soul
She's just a friend
That I want to see when I'm sad
She's just a friend
That makes me happy
She's just a friend
That makes me sad
She's just a friend
That confuses my emotions
She's just a friend
I wanna see all the time
She's just a friend
I'd write poems to
She's just a friend
I would cry to
She's just a friend
Who haunts my dreams at night
She's just a friend
Who makes me drink to forget her
She's just a friend
That breaks my heart every time I see her
She's just a friend
That breaks me every time I think of her

*She's just a friend
And I'm just a friend
And that's all we are
And that's all we will ever be
Even if it hurts me

I wanna talk to you
Like I'm yours and you're mine
Slow deep conversations
At two in the morning

Us traveling the world
Like we're birds in the breeze
Exploring all the bumps
And the cracks on Earth's face

Hearing your soft whispers
Say "I love you" at night
While the world is asleep
And enveloped in dark

Your lips and mine touching
As fireworks light the sky
Burning bright memories
In our lives' pages

I let go of you
I thought of other things
And I was in bliss

I was alone now
And I was enjoying
Silent solitude

You were off my mind
You were nowhere near me
I thought I fell out

I was moving on
From you and from the past
And then I saw you

would you hold my hand
     while the world crumbles
     around us?

i would hold yours
     as long as you agreed
     that I do

you won't hold mine
     if you had the choice
     but that's fine with me

in all truth,
     my world crumbles everyday
     because i can't have you

Third time's the charm
They always say
If the third time
Was the time
That you'd get hurt
The most

I am jealous
Because he is the poison
In your bloodstream

He is the darkness
That haunts you at 2 AM
When you're falling asleep

I wish to be the one
Who keeps you up at night
Making you think of ruined futures

She is the canvas of the night sky
That has the stars painted onto her
She sparkles with billions of lights
Of ***** of burning gases
And she makes it look beautiful
Like the stars aren't burning *****
Of gas that can eat
Planets entirely in one bite

Tears well up in my eyes
As I wait for night to pass
The quiet hours never lie
As sad emotions flow and flow fast

It's pain
That I feel
I don't want to
Cry to sleep once more

I'm running on Bacardi
Drinking like a slob at this party
My heart reaches for her hand
But only on the bottle does it land
I pour another cup of drink
And into a mattress I sink
Thinking just of her
As the world around me blurs
My heart twists and turns
While my esophagus burns
My face goes numb
And now I am drunk

My heart is a planet
Or was
Because now it's
An asteroid belt
That floats
Ceaselessly
Around the sun
The bright star
That is you

There was a time when I told myself that I couldn't live without her.
There was a time when I thought she was everything the world could offer.
I used to think that she was who I would grow old with.
I used to think that we'd both be happy with each other in the next 20 years.
I used to think that I wouldn't survive college for a month without seeing her.

I was wrong.
I was wrong to believe that I would love her until I died.
I was wrong to believe that one day I would wake up beside her.
I was wrong to believe that I would hold her hand and call her mine.
I was
young
and
stupid.
I should have known better to not dwell in my childlike fantasies.
I'm no Prince Charming.

What did I know of live?
Nothing.
I was infatuated.
Dangerously infatuated.
I was at the point where I would be willing to kiss her
feet
just to gain her attention, just her attention.
I knew nothing about how love worked.
All I did was give her my heart and watch happily as she took it
and stomped it
into a
mushy paste.
Something in my mind told me that she would be reciprocating my feelings, but I was
blind.

She's half a heart
Because you took more away
Than you gave her

She's mad at night
And tries to sleep
Searching for peace

She can't see through the rage
Or through the tears
Or through the pain

What you did was fail her
Because she believed
In you wholeheartedly

Being as lonesome as I
Expels all thoughts of happiness
A darkness looms over me
Telling me to give up hope
Reality is cruel, but
I shall stand tall
Combatting the demons
Everywhere in sight

It's now two twenty-two
I've got nothing to do
I'm just thinking of you

Imagine us somewhere
Breathing the cool night air
Not giving any care

Laying there in the grass
Watching shooting stars pass
Snuggled with you, fine lass

The sky drapes us in dark
But with you it's not stark
For you brighten my heart

It's now two twenty-two
I've got nothing to do
I'm just thinking of you

I want you to fall for me,
So I can hurt you
Just as much as you did me
I want you to feel
Your heart burst like a balloon
On a sunny day
I want you to be in tears
Of sadness, not joy
And watch you cry your heart out
In hopes I'd  turn 'round
Cruel they seem, my thoughts now,
But you did the same
The morning you turned your back
I was born again
Into who you see today
If you want the old me back
You will have to dig
Because he was buried deep
In his now dead heart
The heart you stomped on back then
The one in the dirt
My poor, beat up, dead, black heart
How I wish daily
That my heart beat like before
So I could love more
But it is impossible
For it lost the fight
I want you to fall for me,
So I can crush you
Until your **** heart gives out
And you cry to sleep
For the rest of your **** life

You are Monday
I don't look forward to you
But I have no choice

I hate you so much
But I cannot get away
For you are a part of life

My soul aches
Because you hurt me
And I can't escape

I despise your presence
But because of you
I look forward to Friday

Don't look at me with your ******* eyes
Your stares do nothing but make you look high

Don't speak to me with your ******* tongue
All that's left is for it to pour dung

Don't hear my words with your ******* ears
Because you might stain yourself in fear

Don't touch me with your ******* hands
For all I know, you could have had them up your ***

Don't breathe near me with your ******* lungs
I don't want to share air with a skunk

I have more to say. Alas, I'll stop
After all, I've already come out on top

Always for him, never for me
Is what always runs through my head

Always for him, never for me
I wanna fill my brain with lead

Always for him, never for me
Just spit in my face right now

Always for him, never for me
Tie me up and make me drown

Always for him, never for me
Choke me until I black out

Always for him, never for me
Turn my neck into a blood spout

Always for him, never for me
Always for him
*Never for me

I don't know
If I've fallen
Like Lucifer

I feel like
I've fallen into
Hell below

But this hell,
I like it
I'll stay

For this burning
Is hidden beauty
It's her

I've fallen hard
For only her
Oh no

This is bad
Because I love
Wrong people

I hope that
This time I
Am wrong

You are subpar
How I wish she could see that
You probably know it yourself

You are the grimy ****
On the soles of my boots
That I scrape off on the curb

You are the lesser human
And I am the pinnacle of greatness
I hope you know that

You are the bottom of the food chain
And I am on the top
I will drink your blood

She doesn't deserve you
She deserves better than that
She deserves me

To the ******* with my name
I will gut you and choke you
I swear you will never see day

How dare you take warmth
From my light
When it flickers in the wind

I will gouge your eyes out
So you never lay your eyes
On what provides me happiness

I will **** all those you hold dear
They will be the kindling of my pyre
Your fate shall be the same

Let this be a warning
Begone, foul beast of the night
And I will let you watch from afar

Weak I was and weak I am
My heart breaks for her once more
I play the game of love when I can,
But I cannot even score

Cry I did and cry I do
I cry to sleep every night
On my cheeks the tears they go
Oh what a terrible sight

Loved I tried and love I try
But I'll always end up hurt
Once again my poor heart tries
And the blood, out if it, spurts

Who do I love anymore?
My heart calls for the both of them,
But God knows I can only have one.

My hear is split in two
And I cry because those two parts
Are both just as broken.

The universe plays its cruel game
Of making me feel the fires
Of their hearts burn for others.

I'm out of words
I'm out of love

I need something
To be thinking of

I need to write
For it's in my soul,

But what's in my heart
Is a gaping hole

I'm forcing myself to write
Oh god, it hurts. *****.

Where was the blood that used to flow?
It's thinned out. Why is that so?

Do I need to love so I can write?
I don't want to feel pain, nor shall I fight.

Argh. This writer's block hurts like knives.
I'm too tired to rhyme so never mind.

"Love pushes people to do things they wouldn't normally do. Sometimes it's more of a liability to love."

- Me

I don't want to write about you anymore.

"Never forget me."
She scribbled on the letter
That is what I remember
When I try to make my life better

"Never forget me."
She wrote in her cursive hand
I told myself to lam
But what happened was a countermand

"Never forget me."*
She happily wrote on the page
Those words were my *******
This can be cured only by age

Just take my life now
I do not want to study
Please put me to rest

She never smiled for the soothing sounds of my smooth soliloquies
Nor did she fathom the frightful forms of my words
She didn't enjoy my empathy nor my engaging emotions
She did not bestow her best upon me,
But I still love her longly, largely, and life-filled.

She painted dark canvas of the night sky
With her beauty worth billions of stars.
She was a source of time dilation,
For every day I knew her felt like decades.

My life orbited around hers like a moon to a planet,
But I was merely a moon while she was a solar system.
I was an irrelevant speck of dust floating within her galactic heart.
I wish I could turn into her one and only star.

A bright flame danced in my heart
It danced because of love
It spun and moved with grace
And moved from place to place

It filled my soul with warmth
And the strength to carry on
Every time I left to fight
It filled me with soothing light

The fire danced for you
So our souls could one day unite
The fires in our hearts would merge
And the electricity in us would surge

But then the fire in me burned out
From your gust of icy wind
That I was in darkness for so long
And I had no will to be strong

After a while, a new fire was lit
And it's heat burned blue
It was hotter than any fire in the land
Not even I could make a stand

This fire was eternal
This stationary burning blue
It burned for the lust of bloodshed
The flame kept still, never turning red.

Every day and every night it burned
Through my heart and soul
I realized that the fire was still for you
I did not know what I felt or what to do.

All I want is to talk
Again like old times,
But I'm so full anger.

You wrote to me once.
You told me to never forget you
Forgetting you is impossible.

I think about you everyday
Even if I don't want you
I couldn't forget you if I tried.

You're a lost cause,
But I'm trying to fight
Even if it means dying

Just shoot me already.
You already took out my heart.
Finish me off.

Please I'm begging you,
Just end me
Because I don't want to live like this.

I promised to love you
I promised I swear,
But sometimes those're broken.

Just as broken as my heart
On the very night that you broke your word.
I hate to remind you about it

I hate reminding myself too.
The thing is, I did love you
Despite all the pain.

I've learned to forget,
But I haven't learned to forgive
Even though you apologized

With your amazing, angelic voice
I'd cringe at the thought
Because no amount of anything

Could cure this feeling
Because I don't get over some things
But I'm trying to get over you.

I don't need to choke back tears
Because I ran out
When you left me to rot

All you've left me is sadness
Reality is cruel
Rage is what flows through my
Icy veins and heart
After all we've been through
Nothing remains of our friendship
End my life now

Be my source of light
Elucidate my life's path
And I shall be free

It is the eve of the dawn of a new time
Tonight I fill myself
With any alcoholic drink
To curb the curses this year has given

I'm sad again like always
So I'll be drinking to forget
All the memories that hurt
And all the problems I have

I wish you a Happy New Year
And may you find your happiness
While I find mine
In a shot glass

I wish I could say more,
But I could only say less.
So here is a poem for you
I will not jest.

I wish you a long life
And a good one too
I wish you excitement
So you'd have something to do

I wish you good health
One that will not expire
For in these times
The need for health is dire

I wish you a world
Wherein nobody would hate
Such a beautiful person such as you
On whatever date

I wish you happiness
Unlike me who is sad
I'd want you to live
Without regretting the life you have had

Finally, I wish you love
One that will last lifetimes
A love so powerful and strong
That it can slow down your time

Happy birthday