1
Learn to love the color pink, because as soon as you are born you are smothered by all things cute and dainty, and yes of course they are pink, so learn to love the color pink, pink being the balloons that say things like “ Congrats it’s a Girl” as if they would be proud to have such a thing. Pink as the muscles beneath our skin, pink as the human brain, but god forbid we think, pink as in meat, pink as in weak, pink as in baby blankets that are raised just a little too far over your head, pink as in let’s try again, pink as in you are weak, pink as in no, pink as in you can’t do that, pink as in me, pink as an identity I will forever be forced to be in love with.
2
Always hold daddy’s hand, because they’re are bad men around every corner
3
Cross your legs and learn to sit still. You can’t play with toy cars your a little girl hot wheels are for the brave at heart you need a Malibu girl, something smooth and rounded, something you can’t ***** yourself on. Something that is perfect for the pink one.
4
Learn to herd to the bathroom. Never forget the buddy system because you don’t want to end up missing like the girl across the street
5
Learn early on that you should steal your mother’s makeup, no matter what she says, because with out it we look “tired”
6
Don’t be scared of blood, be scared of men.
7
Play with your hair, pull down your shirt, be exotic, and beautiful. Everyone loves a playful girl.
8
Don’t go back home till you have a good husband and a baby that didn’t turn out pink like you. A baby with an actual chance for greatness in this world.
9
SHUT UP WOMAN
10
Say no
