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260 · Jun 2019
¡Destroy!
Ithaca Jun 2019
there is freedom in destruction.
let’s ditch this fake production.
opinions matter—so do you,
we need a reconstruction.

time is of the essence.
time will come and leave.
time will wait on no one;
in yourself you must believe!
Ithaca Sep 2019
It’s so much easier to lie to you with my fingers and thumbs than with my tongue.

So I keep to myself.
I’d rather you hate me for who I’m not, than hate me for who I really am.
247 · Aug 2019
happiness?!
Ithaca Aug 2019
One friend is depressed.
Yesterday was the greatest, and today seems an unwelcome guest.

One friend is afraid.
He writes of his struggles, but if you saw him, you’d say he’s got it made.

I am who I’ve always and never been.
Consistently inconsistent, pervertedly malevolent, and searching for something that doesn’t seem to exist for me.

I want to help my friends.
insert{[but statement]+[excuse]}
Everything seems to be an excuse for doing nothing. I can’t trust myself anymore.
239 · Aug 2019
This one is more happier
Ithaca Aug 2019
I thought I was the only one
Who felt such insecurity
Who felt this pressure
Who felt so different

Then you showed me
You feel the exact same.
Thank you for saving us both
235 · Dec 2019
silent night.
Ithaca Dec 2019
The sound of crimson rain descending from large, black clouds and landing with a vengeance on reinforced steel echoed solemnly throughout the night sky.

This post-demolition city was destroyed beyond recognition after the warhead hit.

Barren streets decorated with scattered rubble and the smell of decay saturated the night air. The radiation caused the rain to turn the color of blood; the blood of the millions of people that the projectile disintegrated.

Just North of the blast radius, a small, barely standing apartment complex stood ***** from the broken ground.

On the second floor of this hotel of hell, two teenagers, a boy and a girl, were quickly becoming men and women; their pleasure loud, but never heard.

Above them on the third floor, a woman hung **** from the ceiling. Her sickly body covered in boils from the radiation.

Two floors below, seven skeletons were spread equidistant from each other. The boy and girl had moved them surreptitiously after doing something with them that even I would not in right mind divulge.

The fourth floor was a horrible sight. A dying baby screaming helplessly; his mother and father lying dead beside him; they both shot themselves. The baby was born with six tiny, black eyes, and no legs to crawl. He’d take his last breath before the sun rose in the morning.

The boy finished his act, and took a large puff of a cigarette. The girl, completely satisfied and lying in blood, chose the needle. The boy followed.

It was their escape. A way to leave the pain of being orphaned by the war. Every single loved one and friend was slaughtered like cattle by the enemy. It was only them now.

This was their first night at the makeshift hotel, and they came willing to die. Together. They knew the radiation would overcome their sickly bodies.

There was nothing left to live for.
No place to call home.
Hölle auf Erden.
O night divine.
232 · Sep 2019
‘`’`
Ithaca Sep 2019
I will beat this.
231 · Apr 2019
Easter
Ithaca Apr 2019
Chocolate bunny fronts
And Easter egg hunts
Early morning church
And Christian research
A time of joy and sorrow
That carries to tomorrow
A time of laugh and cheer
That happens every year
Happy Easter to all
231 · Jun 2019
paradox.
Ithaca Jun 2019
how can i love you for hating me
if you hate me for loving you?
230 · Mar 2019
Eternity’s Past
Ithaca Mar 2019
I wish upon eternity
For how things used to be
I wish upon eternity
For life as younger me
I wish upon eternity
For a trip back to when happines was reality
220 · Nov 2019
yesterday
Ithaca Nov 2019
Today doesn’t even ****.
It just wasn’t as good as yesterday.
219 · Jun 2019
i.
Ithaca Jun 2019
i.
hate me.
loathe me.
despise me.
turn away.
run away.
go away.
come back.
i need you now.
i can’t live without you.
you mean everything to me.
you are nothing to me.
i am nothing to you.
i am nothing at all.
i do not exist.
i am you.
216 · Dec 2019
Broken Wings
Ithaca Dec 2019
She wants to feel again
What I have never felt.

She wants to see again
What I had thought unreal.

I want to fade to black
But don’t want her to cry.

We are a couple birds
Slowly falling from the sky.
For you, am I just
213 · Apr 2019
For Yøu
Ithaca Apr 2019
I can’t tell if I’m waiting for you to reach out,
Or if I’m scaring you away.
Either way, I’ll be there.
209 · Oct 2019
mold.
Ithaca Oct 2019
We’re livin to die
We’re dyin to live
And hopeless we try
To love and to give
‘*** even in the end
When we breathe in our last
Our hearts attack the biggest mistakes of our past

Memories fade and it’s never clear
Why we were unconsciously creating the fear
Of loneliness, abandonment, and being cast out
So we grew up rough and callous fulfilling the doubt

A couple things I wish that I knew for certain
Are why friends and love only left me hurtin
Why my alibi is my greatest defense
And why my devastation makes the greatest of sense

When I was seven years old my father gave me a note
It was a hundred dollar bill, and on a paper he wrote
“Son don’t tell anyone of what you’ve been seein”
Dad was shootin dope with his best buddy Steven

There may will come a day
When our youth will pass away
When our shoes become worn
And relationships are torn

We only came to pass
Our times will come too fast
And no one knows for sure
Just what we’re living for.
206 · Jun 2019
oopsie.
Ithaca Jun 2019
i was under the impression that i needed you.

                       my mistake.
206 · Jun 2020
The Reason
Ithaca Jun 2020
Why do I write poems? Is it for expression? Is it for attention? For a girl?

Do I write out of a sense of obligation? Boredom? Pain?

Is there some ulterior motive? Something sinister and obscure?

Or is it that I just want to be accepted?

The reason why is always changing.

Do we watch **** because we are vile and perverted? Or maybe we just want to feel good? Feel something. Anything.

The reason why is not important. It is inconsequential. Trite.

Reasoning defies action, and action defines your character.

So who are you? Are you my reason, reader? Are you the reason that defies my action? Are you the reason I have no character? The reason I fear?

Or maybe,


The reason I’m here?
199 · Jan 2020
Dear future me...
Ithaca Jan 2020
Please don’t post spur-of-the-moment poetry on the internet where thousands of people could potentially view it...

You’re so welcome,
You
P.S.     Good luck with, well, you know what.
196 · Apr 2019
Hallways
Ithaca Apr 2019
Wandering eyes shifting
Gorgeous smiles lying
Friendly spirits lifting
Quiet voices dying

I walked past him again
My quiet overcoming me
I walked past him yet gain
My quiet destroying us
I have a nasty habit of ghosting people
196 · Mar 2019
Reality
Ithaca Mar 2019
What is reality?
Is everything a lie?
Do we live just to die?
And should we even try?

What is reality?
Is it short and sweet?
Is there a God to meet?
Does it matter who gets beat?

Is reality in the air we breathe,
Or in the people we love?
Or the heavens above?

Where can I go,
in order to find,
this pleasant reality,
that you speak of?
My reality check came in, it’s blank.
192 · Nov 2019
today
Ithaca Nov 2019
yesterday didn’t even ****.
it just wasn’t as good as today.
Ithaca Jun 2019
I’m getting kind of tired of telling you that you’re not a monster.


Actually, now that I think of it, I’m getting kind of tired of telling you anything and you not listening to a word.


But I suppose that now I’m just somebody that you used to know.
186 · Mar 2019
Foundation
Ithaca Mar 2019
Long ago where the White Oak grew,
Far beyond where the west wind blew,
In fresh spring air and ****** skies,
A young boy severed his emotional ties,
Ones that brought him only pain,
So he thought he would not stand to gain,
But so very little did I know back then,
My foundation never laid; it’s time to begin.
No wonder my life’s falling apart. But you’re different, and you’re awesome.
176 · Sep 2019
for show.
Ithaca Sep 2019
Can you prove my existence?
Can you do it for sure?
A photo, a memory, a poem, a score?

What proof have you that you exist?
If you ponder that inquiry,
You’ll find something is missed.

We see what we think we see,
But what is the reality?

We know what we think we know,
But what is real, and what’s for show?
Mindless wordplay? **** yeah.
Worth pondering? **** yeah.
175 · Apr 2019
Sakura
Ithaca Apr 2019
I will wait for you
Among the cherry blossoms
Echoing your name
174 · May 2019
India
Ithaca May 2019
It seems her story’s painted black
But in me she gave her trust
Thank you Indie, India
Our friendship was a must
I hope you find the joy in life
The joy you deserve for all your strife
Remember to never, ever lose hope
Because hope remains our light


Never lose your light, Indie
You will find your way
I’m glad I could be a part of it
Love ya
172 · Apr 2019
Bright
Ithaca Apr 2019
Sometimes life has a funny little way
Of making the darkest night brighter than day
159 · Jan 2020
Looking Down
Ithaca Jan 2020
We try to be amicable
When we know we are selfish
We lie to seem admirable
But there’s no one we cherish
157 · Mar 2019
The Mask
Ithaca Mar 2019
This mask I wear
It conceals myself
I cannot bear
To reveal myself
This mask I wear
I paint it well
So no one sees that my life is hell
The mask I wear
It’s cracking at the seems
The light I’ve neglected so long
It’s starting to shine through
And maybe, just maybe,
I’ll finally be real to you.
154 · Mar 2019
Her
Ithaca Mar 2019
Her
Her beauty haunts me.
She crept into my soul uninvited,
Took my sanity,
Left my vanity.
But I have no name,
That’s the biggest shame.
I don’t know who to be,
But then again,
Neither does she.
153 · Apr 2019
Demon
Ithaca Apr 2019
The chaos of the fire,
It liberated me.
The cost of your desire,
Obliterated me.

The silence of my actions,
I never followed through.
When all the chips were down,
I abandoned you.
150 · Mar 2019
Lost and Found
Ithaca Mar 2019
I sewed my eyes shut, and shoved my palms through my head,
At that time and place, I would have rather been dead.
But my eyes were always closed, and the world I could not see,
The world was always calling, summoning in perfect harmony.
Hearing it so faintly, its melody soft and soothing,
I stumbled in my darkness, to find this voice seducing,
But I never did locate it, my eyes were always blind,
So I lost my ******* sanity, and demanded myself confined.
It was only in my imprisonment that I truly felt alone,
I felt my fingers ripping, the string I'd tightly sewn,
The darkness was so blinding, like nothing I had known,
I found myself digging, dirt below my tombstone.
When I reached the grassy surface, I heard someone intone,
It's been an eternity old friend, but you've never been alone.
145 · May 2019
Diverging
Ithaca May 2019
Let’s meet again
Someday, somewhere
Where the smell of new
Devours the old

Let’s dream again
Someday, sometime
And share as friends
About our hopes

Let’s meet again
Old friend
May our paths cross once more
We have a lot of catching up to do
I hope you are doing more than ok
141 · Jan 2020
tender affliction
Ithaca Jan 2020
take me in
six inches deeper
my cold blade yearns to rust inside your heart

feel my pain
before the blood dries
I want to be the one to drain the color from your eyes
134 · Apr 2019
Legend
Ithaca Apr 2019
Every tree begins as a seed
Every revolution is formed by a need
Any man can see the demands
But the legends of the future are the ones making plans
132 · Aug 2019
Fell on Better Days
Ithaca Aug 2019
Hey,
I don’t know about you
But I may be 22
Before I feel like reading this again
And remembering how things once were

Depression, Jealousy, Nostalgia, Inferiority, Rejection, Hopelessness, Friends, Hurt, Sleepless Nights, Anxiety, Shame, and Wanting to Crawl Into a Box to Escape the Pain of Living.

Oh, and Love too, I guess.
130 · Apr 2019
Seven
Ithaca Apr 2019
“Seven”
“Four?”
“Seven”
“Five?”
“Seven”
“Ok fine, six”
“Seven”
“Ugh, ok, here”
“You know I would’ve given it to you if you just asked instead of bartering for— Hey! You only gave me six you little...”
“Haha, what happened to just giving it to me?”
“Shut up”
130 · Apr 2019
C
Ithaca Apr 2019
C
Chad Chandler camped circa Corpus Christi
Cuando comunicaba con Cristoph.
Christoph came calling, charging,
Contacting community control centers.
Chad coerced Chris coughing crimson color
Chewing cold coils connected, contorted,
Conquering camping copycats cooking cats.
Columnist Coolidge campaigned costly cottages
Coupled countering cowardly coverups.
Craving cream cheese, Coolidge creeped critics,
Croaking cringilly crossing crunchy crumples.
C
#c
128 · Aug 2019
On a High
Ithaca Aug 2019
If I die tomorrow, I want the world to know I had a name.
If I die tomorrow, I want to know that you won’t do the same.
If I die tomorrow, I want to end it all on a high.
If I die tomorrow, I want to at least have told my friends goodbye.
109 · Mar 2019
Suffocate
Ithaca Mar 2019
Why do I always feel the worst
Right after I feel the best?
The high comes crashing
My silent thoughts deafening
“Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are”
-GD
102 · Mar 2019
State of Mind
Ithaca Mar 2019
Can you tell me why I stare at the sun,
When I know it makes me blind?
Can you tell me why I don’t hang with friends,
And complain about being lonely?
Can you explain to me the joys of your life,
In a way that I would understand?
Can you light up the path that leads me to you,
When I have my head crammed up my ***?
Can you give me back my childhood?
I want it back so **** bad.
Can you give me one good reason to move on,
To not be depressed, but glad?
To me, it’s as if you’ve always seen the light,
You stare at the sun when you know it’s bright,
But unlike me, you don’t go blind,
It seems to be all in the state of mind.
101 · Apr 2019
I’ll Learn
Ithaca Apr 2019
Incessant worries
About someone I know
Never knowing how they feel

Bout time I told you
Indeed most of these are about you anyways
Never should have been so quiet
If all I wanted was to be your friend
One day I’ll learn
No one is ever really alone
94 · Apr 2019
Stop?
Ithaca Apr 2019
I still look for you
You whose faces I know
Are you still looking for me
And will you stop to say hello?
If I don’t, it just means I’m scared for no reason at all. See y’all soon •>•

— The End —