my

how many times do i have to pour my heart out until a drop of blood might finally land on your cheek?

I've written so many pieces
about how i long for you
and how i want to be near you,
how beautiful you are
but all these verses are simply pathetic attempts
to make sense of my feelings
and each poem
is just another version
of me saying *I love you

the sky thinks you're beautiful

i know i said it wouldnt matter
if its not you and me in the end
but some nights the what if's and could have's won't let me sleep

and the stillness of the hours before sunrise
remind me of the stillness between us,
unsure words and hesitant conversations

and in those hours
i still catch myself
wanting

im sorry i dont know how to be around you
im sorry you dont know how to be around me

people like me always run out of words to say
but its people like you that make my lips stumble

but I can't heal the way
                           I feel about you

I watch you like a hawk

I watch you like I'm gonna tear you
                limb
                      from
                             limb

Will the hunger ever stop?
Can we simply
          starve
                    this
                sin?

maybe if we were different people,
maybe then we'd be right for each other

months after, her heart still bled.

nothing on
  my mind
but
   you

I'D RATHER GO BLIND THAN WATCH MYSELF BE REPLACED

"Is it normal to cry every night?"

"For some people."

maybe we're both just waiting on each other
waiting to see
who's going to crack first

this body never felt like home

my hands are always clammy
my lips are always chapped
and i can't seem to shake the numbness from my bones

it's hard to believe this is a body you'd be willing to hold

it's hard to make sense of anything right now
but don't you ever just wish
we'd make sense
to each other?

like clockwork,
i think of you
i wait for you
i long for you

like clockwork,
except these hands don't move
and i end up
losing my time over you
losing my mind

just
like
clockwork

i don't think that even the most parallel of universes would've done the trick

you remain lightyears apart
even as we lay side by side

like a sad lone comet
i wander

please pull me into
your orbit

let me sleep

       and never wake

in june i'll wish for
rain. i know you're leaving soon
i still wish you'd stay

if i can't look you in the eye

i barely have the courage to look in the mirror

there is so much beauty in this world
but how come
i only see all of it when my eyes are on you

if only this pain left as quick as you did.

"people are temporary"

"so is pain"

oh god i just wish i'll be something you'd miss

Maybe it won't hurt as much when he leaves
because I am so used to loving him from a distance
Across the hall
Across the room
There is still so much distance even
When he is right in front of me
When my mouth sputters words that try to pull him closer
There is always so much distance
Even when I am pressed against him
With our arms wrapped around each other in a hug
I can never seem to get close enough
But like I said
I am so used to loving him from a distance
I guess a few more thousand miles won't hurt

i know perfectly well how to swim

but if you were an ocean
i'd drown on purpose

you've
knocked the air from my lungs
lit fragments of my heart
and made me want to be wanted

you're
slowly stealing parts of me i never realized i still had
meanwhile i'm still busy stealing glances

I hope your throat tightens when you think of me.

too attractive for his own good
too attracted for my own good

i want to hold your hand
but the mere thought
of our fingers brushing
leaves my palms sweating
and chest pounding
i want to see you
but that requires you seeing me
and it makes me want to fold myself in,
all the parts of me i'm not proud of
there are too many
because to you i am only a fleeting star like all the rest in the sky
but to me you are long-lived galaxies taking up my headspace, lasting, lingering
even after the last star burns out.

"do i ever even cross your mind?"

"you've never left."

forgive me for having nothing to offer
i am sum total of
bad poems
and good intentions

nonetheless
each word
each thought
i will always up dedicating to
you
you
you

you tell me
these
blades
are dangerous

but darling
so are
my thoughts

He was her 11:11 wish, still.

can
       i  
         even
                                     complicate
                                               your
                                                    breathin­g?

i want more than just a glimpse of your mind
more than just another hi
talk to me
no need to be subtle
your voice is enough to turn my rigid parts supple

is finding out
you think of someone else
as much as i do you