my heart jumps at the
cosmic grandeur of celestial bodies
sprinkled across the night sky,
twinkling above tents and tired souls,
it wasn’t until i left the city that
spirited, silvery stars
were sewn to my heart
What would you do
When winter comes
The breeze blowing cold
And you have no hand to hold?
What would you do
When the flowers bloom
And the world comes back to life
But you feel like dying inside?
What would you do
When waves come back to the shore
And you have no clue
Where home is anymore?
What would you do
When dead leaves pile up
And everything that falls
Gets caught except you?
The years have passed
The seasons too
But if you feel stuck
In the same old place
What would you do?
Most of my life is a forgotten cliffside. There's nothing you can really do about it, it's just the consequence you pay for being alive.
I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I can remember my schools, my friends, my parents, my teachers. But I don't remember my sisters. Only my brother, the little boy carrying the family name on his shoulder blades... But he is not ready for that.
As for my sisters... I do not officially "know them" until they begin to leave. I was 11 when they started leaving my house, and 13 when they started re-entering my life.
There is no excuse for arriving late to my life crisis. But what crisis is there anyway?
I grew up alone.
Sisters too old, brother too young, parents too protective.
Too eager to run through the halls of my early life, and high school is not what I expected the years to be. But I am still here... alive.
And there will always be that to hold on to when the sky falls from the stars that pin up the rest of the universe.
Or the the clouds fall from the blue sky just before that cliffside collapses into the abyss.
This is the artistry that is my life on a power surge. Feeling the shock of the first kiss, and the break of the last word.
The many voices, and single sayings. The before and after. The push and then the fall.
The feeling of all my memories being shot.
But not killed.
This is the joy of living off of the electric tower... or the Eiffel tower.
This is life made wild, love made public, friends made family, me made whole again.
Me surviving the cliffside fall for the 378th time this week.
Safety nets were never written in the fine print of this circus act.
But this feeling can kill as much as it can save. It is, and always will be a cosmic shot across the front of my skull...
Opening my mind into eternity. Until I decide to go back to that cliffside...
in the infernal uproar of possibilities when the universe halted an alternative course of movement (to which eternity might be possible in a cosmic place as a confirmation congruent to a derivative of consciousness), there lies an ephemeral mind; at a certain point in time being, who thinks that everything will be plausible in a galaxy of transcendence.
if a particle moves alongside this ephemeral consciousness to which it caused a disturbance, every particle of the latter might be in flux.
[you are that particle]
and if and when, in a conscious state of space and time you sporadically moved and pulled the orbit to which i constantly managed to retain the equilibrium, then should the universe permit us to drift into the internal immobility of togetherness, we became infinitesimal--
but only through the metaphysics of time being.
[at least we had]
Barren trees are beautiful before snow melts;
Clouds constantly cover sunlight somewhere
In the world. What wonder do the stars hold
Even without sight? We seal these eyes of ours,
Glazed with gluttony, so sinfully tight. Come,
Unforseen secrets dance just beyond our plight..
See me in a mountain of petals
That I push under the rug
Just like the feelings I hide
To save me from falling further
I'm muffled coughs and aching chests
A personification of the spring
Heart blinded and suffocated
By the beauty that is you
Dawns are spent in bathroom stalls
My heart worn on the soles of my feet
Cursing the ache of what cannot be
For loss and longing, entirely
He loves me not, the law repeats
For what it's worth,
Don't spare me the humanity
Only in death shall I forfeit
Forever my heart in camellia sheets,
Forever for you it tries to beat.
You live in the memories inside me
The flashbacks at the slightest trigger
You're in the footsteps I take
Holes in the ground that lead nowhere
You're in the cup of coffee that I hate
For I still crave a sip in the wee hours of dawn
You stay on tabletops like the dust of summer
Falling slowly only to stubbornly linger
You're the sunburn etched carelessly on my skin
Wishing for the pain to go and nostalgia to stay
You are the sun, the moon, the stars and the sea
The air inside my lungs, forever within me.
I'm in love with pretty brown eyes
Sparking like the stars in the sky
And a voice so sweet, I always melt
My legs grow weary when he smiles
I think of him for days and nights
Of how gently he strums the guitar
And although oceans apart we are
Not once have I felt his hands were far
Oh what I'd give to see that smile
Or spend every morning by his side
But all I could do is look up high
And tell the stars and deities divine
"As long as you're happy, I'll be fine"