By death
Distance
Desire
Loss
By proximity
Purpose
Passion
Presence
Loss
By curiosity
Amusement
Loss
By anger
Manipulation

numb
so alone
yet so surrounded
support.
These words
feel rusted.
It's been awhile
Since my fingers
felt the keys
like this.
I wish to cry
like I know to do
but brain
Is paused.
Feelings feel
clear,
nowadays a blur.

I know my strength
but it feels transparent.
I know my worth
But it feels meaningless.
I'm here in the present
But my heart
Replays the past.
Everything is put
on hold
But time won't stop
So I cannot.

on my chest
love you with every breath.
it's been tough
you've had enough.
noise so loud
in your mind,
let it out
one tear at a time.
nothing more craved
than to be with you
everyday.
I wish I could help
when all you can do,
is let yourself melt.

I know I get quiet
I know you worry,
sometimes my words
get twisted and go unheard.
I try to speak my truth
but I forget how to understand,
how I feel.
in these moments
I just ask for some patience,
I'm trying my best
to help us both understand
myself.
I care so much
I lose my touch,
of stability and focus.
my brain needs time
to find its way back
to a straight line.