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Dec 5 · 164
lay your head
Zane Smith Dec 5
on my chest
love you with every breath.
it's been tough
you've had enough.
noise so loud
in your mind,
let it out
one tear at a time.
nothing more craved
than to be with you
everyday.
I wish I could help
when all you can do,
is let yourself melt.
Nov 15 · 60
Home Bound
Zane Smith Nov 15
october 30th,
finally after over a year
you were coming home.
no phone call
this sunday,
just an email
from last thursday.
"not coming home this week
i'll explain later
i'll be here for my 18th".
two years in a row
that's so unfair
I wanted to fly
to see you
for your birthday
but you will still be there.
locked away,
im so sorry
i miss you
i love you
When will my best friend be safe and sound?
Nov 11 · 89
frustration flutter
Zane Smith Nov 11
I know I get quiet
I know you worry,
sometimes my words
get twisted and go unheard.
I try to speak my truth
but I forget how to understand,
how I feel.
in these moments
I just ask for some patience,
I'm trying my best
to help us both understand
myself.
I care so much
I lose my touch,
of stability and focus.
my brain needs time
to find its way back
to a straight line.
I was having lots of trouble speaking my mind. After sitting down and listening to my buzzing mind, I wrote to the best of my ability.
Oct 28 · 102
madness
Zane Smith Oct 28
out of place
out in space
my mind wonders
looking for something safe.
to hold onto
and cherish,
but I tend to stumble
and perish.
when fallen down
I'm filled with sound,
constant and booming
loud and looming.
once redirected
my head feels connected,
to the body I know
and my wisdom
I call home.
Oct 4 · 90
sickness
Zane Smith Oct 4
like a cold
from missing you.
coughs interrupting
my breathing,
short intervals
like the time we get together.
resting in bed
allowing my body
to reset,
but I'm upset
when I can't hold you
near my chest
Sep 25 · 372
what is this
Zane Smith Sep 25
I have been
down and confused.
feeling things
I used to
be used to.
it had become
a normal
but now,
it's new again.
feelings of guilt
for missing memories,
because the past
can't come back.
I don't miss the people
I miss the places
I miss the laughs
I miss the late nights
I miss the stupidity
the vulnerability.
Sep 25 · 93
tell me why
Zane Smith Sep 25
I have the urge to start over
to throw everything away.
tell me why some days
it's impossible to get dressed,
to get out of bed.
tell me why I want
to throw my phone in the ocean
to delete social media.
tell me why my best friend
isn't home yet
it's been over a year.
Tell me why my life feels
so put together
yet
so far away
where am I going?
Sep 23 · 96
pause
Zane Smith Sep 23
the days I feel
my brain is blocked,
I take a step back
go for a walk.
no phone needed
through the neighborhood.
searching for peace
a quiet state of mind,
finding ways
to leave it behind.
one way I take my pause for the day, giving my brain a moment to process
Sep 21 · 84
I don't know
Zane Smith Sep 21
what to think
anymore.
I want to write
my brain won't
create
poems like before.
this is ******
****
what a pity.
I think
I'm trying to hard
i sit down to write but nothing flows
I guess my feelings
don't want to show
Sep 19 · 220
blink
Zane Smith Sep 19
time flies by
with the blink
of an eye.
so when
do we truly
start living?
Sep 16 · 169
every time
Zane Smith Sep 16
every time we meet
I feel like it will get easier,
to leave you.
every time we meet
I want more time with you.
every time I hold you
I don't want to let go.
every time we kiss,
I want it to linger
for longer.
every time we hug,
I want it to last
a lifetime.
every time I get on the train
I travel farther away
from your touch.
every time
I want more of you.
every time I wish you'd stay forever
Sep 16 · 172
perspective
Zane Smith Sep 16
it's crazy to think
some people's lives just started
some people's lives just ended
all over the world.
a celebration of life has begun
a mourning of death has begun.
no matter your age
no matter what stage of life,
everyone's still learning.
experiencing
healing
growing
making mistakes
maturing.
sure some have it easier than others
sure some have it harder than others
but in the end,
we have the chance to live
to live as in to be present.
we are here on this earth
while others aren't
recognize your opportunity
to be.
here is your reminder, here is your sign, to open your eyes.
Sep 12 · 133
never again
Zane Smith Sep 12
we only have one moment
each individual day
where nothing will ever be the same.
days and months repeat
years do not.
every second
we are somewhere else
Sep 10 · 130
morning world
Zane Smith Sep 10
6:15am, early start
full with lots of love in my heart,
a cup of coffee with a swirl of whipped cream
a book about compassion and generosity.
step out on the balcony
brisk beautiful air
messy tangled hair,
sun beaming
skin gleaming
peace and quiet.
birds waking up to make their music
where's my bookmark, try not to lose it.
sitting and sipping
take in the new day
new start
new beginning.
reminder : you are growing and flourishing everyday whether you recognize it or not :)
Sep 10 · 77
why am I like this?
Zane Smith Sep 10
I put all my eggs in one basket
and hurt myself over and over,
I push people away and don't know why
I get frustrated and usually cry.
I tend to hold my breathe
not being able to put my mind to rest,
what's the reasoning behind
my feelings of mistrust and worry?
why do I get so attached
or
not know how to hold on?
for me I know when it's solid
I can feel it eventually being a safe space
or
I can feel it getting old and fading out.
every time someone incredible is uncovered
a way is found for them to leave me.
whether it's my own doing
or
their life leading them else where.
Sep 10 · 112
lost love
Zane Smith Sep 10
I love you still
as time is killed,
the three words remain
I wish I could tell you over and over.
but it doesn't work anymore
this "healing time" feels like a chore
here I am feeling emotions galore.
junior year please end
you have caused me hell,
I'm going through it can't you tell?
I have hope for the future
I know this will pass,
I want you gone and far away
but another part of me only wants you to stay.
to stay and never leave
never leave my arms.
My arms hold my heart tight
my heart is broken,
broken and devastated
another very old poem from when my heart was healing itself subconsciously through this poem
Sep 10 · 94
oregon observations
Zane Smith Sep 10
rusted mailboxes
random roads
secret paths
towering trees
spotted cows
little flowers
tugged trailers
mushy moss
wooden cabins
warming smiles
swerving roads
welcoming markets
fresh fruits
loving libraries
horses grazing
growing grass
hidden creeks
crisp air
long car ride to go see my grandma lead to this :)
Sep 6 · 196
step back
Zane Smith Sep 6
you tell me things
I don't need to know,
sure yeah I'm over him
but I don't care about
knowing him anymore.
I've finally let go
I moved on
finally.
I know you guys are like family,
but him and I aren't.
after so long he's out
of my head.
Please don't bring him back,
my energy won't
be taken by him
anymore.
I made peace with our goodbye,
but that doesn't mean
I've fully healed
Sep 6 · 162
writing
Zane Smith Sep 6
an outlet
for thoughts feelings
for when you can't think straight,
for when sentences can't form.
an outlet
for flowers to bloom
for tears to fall
for lungs to breathe.
an outlet
for voices unheard
for fingers to type
for brains to process,
for hearts to heal
Sep 5 · 138
tangled
Zane Smith Sep 5
words in my mind
won't fall off my tongue
wondering what there is to become.
once ago I let myself go,
fast I fell through time
my heart floated and fluttered,
soared and forgot what land was about.
so high in the sky
cuz he was all mine,
once ago I let myself ago.
love and loss
I felt so distraught,
my world crashed down
so far as almost never to be found,
and in an instance I was so distant.
I've grown and changed
rejected and accepted,
regretted then reconnected
with myself.
never wanting to love again
I wouldn't let myself go again,
leaving me terrified to fall that deep
it was as if I had lost my feet,
the ground had never been so steep.
but here you came and I fell
never believing a person like you existed,
I resisted from letting myself go.
but here I AM telling myself not to say no
and instead give it ago,
because we aren't just dumb luck.
I'm sorry if I'm timid
please just bear with me,
I'm trying my best
to give you my everything.
At one point I was faced with a conversation where I didn't know how to voice my thoughts and feelings. I took a moment to myself, told them I'd call them back and wrote this out.
Sep 4 · 195
Stephen King
Zane Smith Sep 4
"The most important things are the hardest things to say.
They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them--words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out.
But it's more than living isn't it?
The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buries, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away.
And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not
to understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it.
That's the worst, I think.
When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller
but for want of an understanding ear."
This quote helps me understand that whenever I feel emotions so strongly, I shouldn't diminish them. But to recognize them and know they are important, then just telling myself to shut them down because I'm a "teenager". Even if I feel little to no emotions, it's for a reason and it's okay. To just let myself feel how I feel.
Sep 4 · 131
L
Zane Smith Sep 4
L
The prettiest girl
with her ginger curls
a genuine muse,
but to her she sees dark blues.
I wish she could love herself
as much as I do.
Six years and counting
we're so strong and secure,
I want to provide everything for her.
My soulmate, my bestfriend
I promise we will never be put to an end.
We've been through it all together,
honestly I believe it's been for the better.
Our bruises have taught us how to love
how to fight, how to cry, how to fly.
For you I'd do anything
because to me your worth absolutely everything,
There's so much more to come
so bubs just keep holding on.
Don't ever think I'm not by your side,
my love for you will never die.
You are my world,
the moon,
and the sky.
Thank you for lifting me up,
even when life gets really rough.

Love you forever
A lil something I wrote up about one of my favorite people on this planet. She is my rock and so much more. The amount of respect and trust I have for her is endless.
Aug 29 · 85
October 12th, 2018
Zane Smith Aug 29
knew it wasn't healthy
scrolling through old texts.
you snuck time to text me
you weren't doing what you should be,
" Je t'aime a la folle",  I love you madly.
morning by morning
my screen lit up
every morning waiting for you,
my heart flutters like its all brand new.
ur consistent clues
it's like you just knew
how much I had fallen for you.

you read me like a book
understood how I felt with every look,
we stood so strong
strong for so long,
not even recognizing our insane compatibility
it was easy, to just be.
you made me feel proud
loving me for me
genuine, compassionate
can't you just be here next to me?

my phone misses your calls
I want to be the person you confide in when you fall
but you don't,
you don't want to reveal yourself at all.
standing on your own
please know you're not alone.
an obvious poem about my ex. At the time I was clearly missing him. A draft from my notes.
Aug 28 · 262
A
Zane Smith Aug 28
***
her petals wilted
a beautiful blue
radiating a subtle hue,
the suns beams reveal her glow
she carries her head high even when feeling low.
pushed and shoved
deserving of more love,
protect her with all your heart
please lean on me when you fall apart,
stronger brighter than any other.
the cold breeze and rough winds
bend your stem and take with them some petals
but babe your beautiful blue
your radiant hue,
will always and forever be a part of you
a poem I wrote about a close friend I was worried about but will forever cherish out friendship.
Aug 28 · 83
black haired boy
Zane Smith Aug 28
june 7th was the start
the day you began to steal my heart,
you pulled me away and off we went
to a place that's left such a huge dent

I want to hate you
I want to be mad
cuz now I'm here all fragile and sad
you said you never want to break my heart,
but here I am falling apart.
My hearts still lively
still lovely and free
but **** that
cuz **** you hurt me.

You went away and day by day,
I sat at home writing back to you.
All the letters that you sent through
I held on even though I missed you,
but now that you're home
I'm left here alone.

All you did was love and care
which makes this feel so unfair,
you treated me better than I could ever imagine
and it's hard to pretend like that never happened.

I'm trying to let go
trying to take it slow
bu the boy I know
feels like a stranger and I don't know where to go.
You made me feel safe
you taught me trust
even our friendship is starting to rust.

Every time I lie in bed
please get out of my head
let me sleep,
let me sleep in peace.
This poem was from over a year ago, I'm in a much better place now but I wanted to post my old poems here just to get them somewhere else, and off my phone.
Aug 28 · 81
us in the universe
Zane Smith Aug 28
our minds collide
through space and time,
we connect as our minds travel
at different speeds and time
through the universe.
I love the way
you love me,
as I learn more about myself
through you everyday.
our spirits rekindle
within one another,
as we learn and grow
together.
Aug 28 · 80
E
Zane Smith Aug 28
E
Three weeks ago
I didn't know you existed
now you're all I think about,
sitting here in my favorite spot
thinking about the feelings I've caught
realizing what would have happened,
if we never gave this a shot.
We'd continue our lives
moving on day by day
never even having conversations starting with "hey".
But that's how it all starts right?
with one single "hey",
maybe even a "how was your day?".
simple words
easy questions
the beginning to a whole new life lesson,
because living is about the things you experience,
the people you meet
and the words they speak.

— The End —