Your tall body has always enticed me
Your long arms have kept me safe
Your scruffy beard makes me smile
And your smile makes me melt
Your hands hold mine and make me feel loved
And wipe away the tears

Enough of these superficial reasons
Your love has comforted me
Your humor has made me laugh
(Until I snort)
Your words have made smile
And cry
But always out of love
Your generosity
Has never left me empty handed
No matter how much I beg you
To keep your money for yourself
Your caring heart reminds me
I'm not alone

Somehow you stopped the shaking trembling in my anxious thoughts
You brought me back to reality
You stopped me from dying
You stopped me from hurting myself
You stopped me from starving
From expelling the contents of my stomach
But most of all you gave me hope
A reason to carry on

A reason to fight my mind
To tell the mirror it's a liar
To throw my blades away
And eat whatever I want
A reason to keep living
And to love myself

I know you don't feel good enough
But look at all this evidence
Change the criteria in your head
The requirement of "good enough"
Should only contain one thing
You

All you have to be is you
To be good enough for me
Because I ******* love you

Do you remember dear Winky
that nervous twitch suited you well
each time we held the line
your sweet eyelids would flutter

I know you fear the end
liken to a jellyfish on jagged rocks
smashed into adversity
but this world is circular

Come my friend, my sister and brother
see I care not for the scares
nor the disappointment
I do not falter, and so must not you

See my blood fall to the ground
it matters not to me
not really, not to one liken to you
my heart as your's is pure, my winky woe woe

You are made of sterner stuff
like me, you like it hard and rough
find the heart, I will hold your hand
let's to the end fight it wholeheartedly tough


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

A flirty message, a winky face attached.
It doesn't mean anything, I tell myself.
He loves you, I say. You are his world.
But I never quite believe it,
Though I know I have no cause.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Isn't that the phrase?
I don't want it to but it sticks.
I hate myself for it.

A kiss or two here, a request for photos there.
It wouldn't be much to an outside eye.
But to me? It is everything
My ever fragile insecurities shattered.
My heart holding on, but barely.
Did I have cause after all?
Did he mean anything he told me?
That phrase again, always ringing in my ears.
Will I ever escape it?

We had a mutual hate for society.
The government's rations were irrational.
The economy's money had no worth.
The people's morals were immoral.
The religious had lost their faith.

We were stuck
in this world,
with no way out.

Before we had met each other,
neither of us had believed in that four letter word.
The one that people made a big deal over.
It had no meaning to either of us,
considering we never really knew what it was.
It's absence in our lives lead us to believe it didn't exist.

Plus,
Love was a kryptonite.
Who would let their guard down to be with some other
corrupted human being?
Certainly not I.
And sure as hell not you.

But just as any other cliche stupid love story would go,
destiny brought us together.

At first we were unsure of each other.
I had this undeniable habit of observing you from across the room,
And I'm sure you thought of me as some weird girl in your business class.

We ended up talking, and becoming friends.
But being "friends" lead to skipping class to make out in some hidden part of the school,
sitting on your lap at football games,
and texting all the time using winky faces and hearts.

I didn't think it was possible
but I had fallen for you.
Hard.
The way a toddler falls the first time they ride a bike.
Or the way Humpty Dumpty fell from his wall.

There was no putting me back together.

Unfortunately, at the time I didn't know how you felt.
and neither did you.

An opportunity came to me in which I had to make a decision.
Put up a fight and stay or just go with the flow and leave.

I never thought I could change anything between our "friends with benefits" relationship
and this paradise had nothing left to offer me, so I left.

And I guess the saying
"you never know what you have until it's gone"
showed true for you because you noticed my absence.

Every time the teacher would call my name for attendance
you would respond
"she isnt here"

Six Months Later..

I went to visit for a few days.
I spent three of those days with you.
I had called you, told you I was in town.

When I saw you,
I was actually happy. Genuinely happy.
Which is saying a lot,
considering the rain cloud of depression that had been hanging over me for a while.

At first we were just like we used to be,
sarcastic ******* to each other.

In the middle of me ******* about something,
you grabbed my waist,
pulled me closer,
looked at me with those eyes of yours,
and kissed me.

I realized then how much I had missed you.
Your electrical touch,
the taste of your lips,
the intoxicating smell that radiated from your skin
of sweet vanilla and laundry detergent.

I couldn't stop the feelings I had for you
from coming back.
I loved and hated how weak you made me.

My knees would buckle,
threatening to give out from beneath me.
My chest would burn,
as though I had swallowed a million fireworks
and they were all going off at once.
And My heart.
I hated the way it ached to tell you that I loved you.

I had once believed the word was meaningless;
Just something people said to each other to shut the other person up.

But no.
It was much more than that.
And you pulled the true definition into my view.

Allowed it to take on different meanings,
gave me situations to connect it to,
and feelings to associate it with.

It's safe to say you taught me to love;
just as the world taught me to hate.

But your lesson had far more value than any other I'd had or would have.

Get out your sponges, stippling brushes and pens,
It’s time for makeover-Monday-night to begin.
Think Winky Lux, L’Oréal, Urban Decay,
Maybelline, Armani and Fabergé

It’s a black magic realm where brushes are wands,
where a carnival of colors are carefully crayoned.
We have palettes aplenty, in kaleidoscope hues,
to create fashion looks, both bold and subdued.

In the realm of makeup fashion, where trends never end,
we remodel each other - for fun - when we can.
Tonight, our new friend Jammie has come to watch us play,
and he even brought two bottles of chardonnay.

Lisa has a ‘Miss Rose’ case, like she saw in Bernadette Peters’
dressing room, on a backstage tour of the Shubert Theatre.
Konjac, Kabuki, Doe foots, Spoolie, Lisa’s got legit tools to use.
“When it comes to makeup,” she says, “always avoid dupes.”

That night I was the chosen face, the excited living canvas.
Lisa’s a practiced artist, her process is brisk and never tedious.
She painted my lips a crimson cherry, alluring and brightly sensuous,
my brows were moonlit art, my cheeks a midnight adumbrated edifice.

Lisa created a special look, where rebellious edge met elegance.
We took some snaps, then I washed it off - but Jammie was impressed!

hey little bird you dive in the ocean's waves to exhilarate your tongue
you swim through the clouds, feathers a-flutter with joy
you hide in the trees and bushes, all winky and coy
i'd love to fall hands-first along your side catching my little bugs and my little birds
i wish i could fly
i wish i could fly
oh ** oh i wish i wish i could fly
no wings, no plane, no parachute
so thanks, bluejay, crane, pelican,
all the birds,
for letting me come along

(what a way to die)
so happy i can fly
so happy i can fly

All the best cover bands have leather jackets and aviators in play.
Feel the bodies burn.
Their polka dot calm pierces the noisy dark.
It slips between your lower ribs.
Trance hands in the air for shared emotion.
When the Sun dies out we'll light the world with disposable lighters.
We'll also flicker with emoticon implants.
Cold glitter on a dark planet.
Winky face.

There's no reasonable explanation
To how this all went down
When the world woke up one morning
All made up as clowns

Not a single person in the world
Did this phenomenon not claim
With big red buttons on their chests
Spelling out new funny names

There was Patches and Petunia
Floppy and Cupcake
Winky and Bumper the Clown
Were just a few that they displayed

Everyone went about their business
Only now they all carpooled
You could see clowns piling out of cars everywhere
From businesses to stores to schools

Crime it did die down
Because all the guns that people have
Instead of shooting bullets
Shoot out brightly colored Big Bang Flags

Of course the circus lost its glamour
With an audience made up of clowns
It's hard to tell who's there enjoying
And who's entertaining all the crowds

People stopped taking each other seriously
Over anything they had to say
Pointing at each other and laughing
As they go about their day

Who knew a thing like this would happen
When the world went to bed last night
That the very next morning
They'd wake up clowns for life

Oh, I almost forgot the Politicians
Were the only ones to stay the same
It's already a simple known fact
*When your a clown you don't need to change

Ruffles your hair in the soft of the summer patch, sunbeams cling to you like honey then later cling to my ever growing hopes of happy happy love. silly silly silly winky-**** he bruises you with stains of purple-pink which later fade to yellow like 'le soleil' friction burns will come from 'le soleil' and linger and cling to your chest like an arrow through the heart. heart-throb. you belittle me one too many times doodle-bug.

Rosie roses are nice to fancy and fathom but thorns only puncture pale skin and drain you of your ruby juice until you are nothing but a dusty, hollow skin shell. pale naïve and empty to be filled with dreams, desires and demands as well. hate is not easily boiled in your kitchen kettle water but I think that's a good thing munchkin.

Hold back your disdain bite your tongue crack your teeth and do not repeat what your brain whispered it has been lying to you since the day you were born you silly silly silly... this is a ripping seam in your moonbeam and your emotions begin curdle and to leak out like fish but then you remember crying is okay but **** such salt water back in and say naught. distraught.

At witching hour it will come at you a cold sweat in the night where your fingers tingle and your meat twinkles faces before you with holes for irises. they have been sent to inject mishap and upside down rainbow viruses. when was the last bedtime you had cloudless soul with organic thoughts? oh fleshly girl tip-toe lightly as blood trickles down your ego and melts it away to stardust to form another cheeky doodle-bug munchkin grin

Mi amada Daisy
Ya no tengo quien me avise cuando hay alguien en la puerta
Quien se acurruque en mi panza cuando estoy triste
Quien me vea preocupada cuando estoy enferma
Quien duerma junto a mí en la cama, tapada de pies a cabeza
Era el paraíso despertar con un bultito tan bello y calientito

Mi chiquitita, my tiny
Tan fría que querías parecer, pero cuánto me querías
Todo el día pegada a mí, todo el día en mis piernas
Corrías a sentarte en el tapete para acompañarme hasta en el baño
Sabías perfectamente cuando me iba a ir de viaje
Te subías a mi maleta, y escuchaba tus lloridos desde la puerta

Mi vaquita, mi chilpetina
Ya no tengo quien me despierte en la mañana para ir al baño
Jamás te hiciste en la cama, ladrabas para que te bajara y te abriera
Ladrabas y corrías a tu platito de agua cuando querías agua
O frente a tu platito de comida exigiendo que era hora de comer
Solita lo aprendiste, "Such a smart puppy!"

Mi tinky winky, my ****** twinkle
Ya no tengo a quien soplarle en la carita
Y que como respuesta me llene de besos
No tengo con quien batallar para que coma
Ni a quien ponerle tus vestiditos todos chiquitos
A quien observar, morir de amor, e inevitablemente llenar de besos

Mi bébe, my puppy
Eras tan fuerte que jamás te quejaste de nada
Ni siquiera cuando tus pequeños riñones empezaron a fallar
Siempre estuviste alegre, moviendo tu colita
Excepto en tus últimos días, apagada
Sabías que ya habías cumplido tu misión, que ya era hora

Mi preciosura
GRACIAS por quererme, por hacerme feliz con sólo verte
GRACIAS por cuidarme, por absorber mis males y tristezas
GRACIAS por esperar a que llegara para irte
GRACIAS por ser fuerte cuando tu cuerpo más débil estaba, para poder decirnos adiós estando juntas, en casa
GRACIAS por escogerme como mamá

Mi florecita bella
Fuiste la mejor y más hermosa perrita del Universo
Tenerte fue lo mejor que me pudo haber pasado
¡Qué bonito habernos encontrado en esta vida!
No sabes lo inmensamente feliz que me hiciste
Te amo tanto y lo sabes, porque te lo decía cada 3 segundos


Mi pequeña angelita hermosa
Nos quedamos dormidas abrazadas, y viste el momento
Amaneciste aún abrazada a mi brazo, pegada a mi pecho
Con una carita feliz, llena de paz... pero ya en el arcoiris
Ya no tengo quien haga todas esas cosas aquí
Pero en todas partes te veo, y escucho tus ladriditos tan bellos
Te guardo en mi corazón mientras me esperas en el arcoiris
Jugando, corriendo, observándome y cuidándome
Espérame ahí, hasta que sea hora de que vaya a recogerte
I love you forever, my tiny

Oopy Doopy, Super Sloopy.
Loopy snoopy, pants apoopy.
Lippy hippy, slippy dippy.
Nasty-nicey, normally snippy.

Loosey goosey, chocolate moussey.
Usually *** goofy as Gary Busey.
Hinky-stinky presidential *****.
Winky-blinky, dangerously stinko.

Hippity hoppy, flippy-floppy
Get a mop, it never stops.
Laughy gaffe-y, riffy-raffy
Face as gross as rotten taffy.

Whammy-bammy, scary scammy
Mammy-jamming Uncle Sammy.
Lumpy-dumpy, far from humpy
******* up future jumpy bumpy.

Glossy boss, a frightful loss
Ungathered moss at twice the cost.
Serious gap while the country naps
****** sap giving us a slap.

Frightening nooses tightening,
Rights denied like summer lightning.
Ignoring Popes and Snopes
Hopeless dopes put us on the ropes.

Immune to our cries, elected guys
Make horrifying decisions most unwise.
Like black magic before all our eyes
We’re leaderless as freedom dies.

mary had a little lamb,
she called it pinky winky,
when it turned into a sheep,
she sold it to the ******.

jack and jill had dropped a pill,
to dance the night away,
jack came home with two black eyes,
cos he forgot to pay.

hairy mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
halogen lamps, council house,
thats all you need to know.

baa baa black sheep,
think i need to pull,
your tail upwards,
cos my ***** are full.

little miss muffet,sat on a tuffet,
snorting before a night out,
little jack horner stuck in his thumb,
she punched his ****** lights out.

indeed, i finished the night off with a wolf's operatic ah woo! at the yellow lunar scythe.

i never understand why people, with such fascinating lives,  |
pre posthumous auto-biographic
with so much Don Juan  excitement would surrender to
being cocooned by bookworms,
the silence of libraries...
just last night i had the most lucid
and the most entangled experience
within the world of the living,
i so desperately want to write about...
but i can't...  i can't!
i want to, but i'll flush all the emotions
that went into experiencing the night
away and feel vane, which is hardly
apathetic, syndrome of atheism
a fake, a- (without) pathos (some sort
of pathology) -
**** it, the highlights, two mates out for a
drink, end up in the company of
a half-mandarin half swede (suede eh eh,
nudge nudge, buckle two stops of a torero
winky wink - nudge nudge of the elbow
only fools & horses banter);
graffiti on a book i carried:
dr. john marchent, LSBU,
london south bank university,
the science of chocolate*...
the scribbler? her name be... what
a ******* zigzag, got her surname
but her name i had to rewrite:
rhiannala                            fowler...
yes, the H is silent, it always is in english
unless it be a haystack of hyphens...
there were many more details regarding
last night, i could write them,
but when i once saw a girl getting spat on
by her "boyfriend"
and the way i spat kisses all over a girl's face
i think it's too painful to make details of...
a sly impromptu in polish with
a guy who was smoking hashish...
12 years over here... i don't know why i
kept associating his name with ******;
a fine Friday event in bohemian east-end
London... that's all, and yes, i seriously wish
i could do a detailed Proustian outline...
eating a ******* macaroon to delve into
the gaping hole of memory making 20 years
seem like 20 minutes...
of course i'll curse, pornographic over saturation...
obscenity trials my ***...
             i'm so ****** tempted to recount you
the night... the drinking Bacchus **** and laughter...
die sonne satan and what not mentioned...
           runes ironic third ***** ******* for good luck
    tilting to antagonise a clear upstart failure...
feminism and advertising,
                   comic book strips and something about
keeping a brand with an ethic worthy of anorexia
and gluttonous upheavals as the end...
               'and yes, i decided to become an Elvis Costello
    song because i thought my life was boring enough
worthy of a manuscript...
            if i had the life of a Don Juan, i wouldn't have
   bothered... me in a cocoon? n'ah,
me in a coconut sounds better...
          or as i wrote in my high-school memorandum:
  to live a bohemian life in one of the EU's capitals...'
and that's prior to the 2004 expansion,
even though i was sceptic - and to finish:
west end you get cosmopolitan culture -
east end you get bohemian culture -
               or as a quasi Mr. Portillo noted -
toff toff truffles too! yep, some ******* labour
coal miner descendent fanatic bemused out-loud
on our way for the night bus 86 -
where i was hit by an existential conundrum
about having this ethnicity bred
and this psychology acquired:
'i spoke to them native and they're thinking
i spoke Hungarian or Czech or Yugoslav! ha ha'
the two children were a wormhole into the past for me...
but for the love of god
you can't find steve wynn & the miracle 3's song cindy
on the internet... i have the album, but the compact
is scratched... and encode a scratched compact
into an mp4 format and your iPod is kung fu ******.            |

|represent a neurosis of a perfect width...
|should the middle ground be peppered
|with shorter stances,
|the first few lines have to match-up
|to the elongating caterpillars of the end -
|a kinda hug / embrace.

time is a fist
it inches like something fishhooked
it is it is don't tell me it iznt

open your hand and
let light sift through you

cutie

*winky face winky face

A Round table.
Dinner.

9 Goddesses Sit.

A chocolate Angel with aphrodisiac saffron, almond honey bars of bliss 2 squares enough to get you as high as you like, heart racing, body tingling, a silly silky kind of euphoria kissing the inside of my capillaries
and cacao energy bouncing across my hyper sensitive pathways.
A Smart Cosmic Cookie giggling with winky eyes
A flamenco beat with ideas to translate movement into music
A silver haired tarot reader from Peru, yellow beads strung round her neck, her vibrant skin glowing earth brown-red
her energy sung out luminous.

At least 3 generations are co-existing in pleasant harmony,
All of us : healers of a sort,
None of us :  hold only one job or skill,
Two of us :  are currently in nomad travel phase ( Youngest and Oldest)

When two men pass by and say hello
I feel our energy say hello in unison but with some nonchalance, centered more upon the union of grounded,
clean and compassionate energy exuding from us all,


We laugh and are present
love is abundant.

We joke that they don't know what they've let into the festival
"exorcisms and stuff" as a few of us fake laugh an evil cackle, erupting in giggles.

There's talk of herbal medicines and herbal hair conditioners,
I sit and maintain my conscious space by not thinking
being aware is my mode of being
acting upon feeling,
using mind to restrain all words from exiting my mouth,
not mindless babble.

I smile to myself and inhale the fragrance of light workers living.

A rumble of laughter not from an LOL in an SMS
but a sound from a breathless child
running in a field
not scrolling through a feed

two friends sharing secrets
in a hide out only known by two
not hiding behind a barricade
clear yet mystifies the truth

I see you smiling in front of me
As you share old stories
And dreams of what’s to come
I don’t face a pixelated picture
As I try to communicate
Face to face?
Or face to screen
Or share winky faces
As you tease me
while sitting in a room two doors down

What happened to the times when
We were connected by the strokes of the words on paper
Or the moments captured by film
And not destroyed by a single glitch of a cellular phone

There’s a ring to my name as you call
A melody in your voice
But now
since when have IM ever been better than calling a name
with your voice
we know people more by the click of a finger
than a stroke of a hand
and from 140 words
in an app
expected to chirp our secrets like songs of birds
sung to everyone

We see connection
As the strength of the wifi at the corner of our screens
Dreams are shared with every retweet and reblog
Shared to strangers
Who care about you?
Or care about the amount of followers or likes you get
Of a picture you do not own
Of an experience you have never done
Or maybe yet to do

life is not as beautiful through a screen
it is not about those minutes you spend
clicking that play button
you cannot fast forward or rewind the wasted time
sitting and waiting
as the video loads
just so
YOU
Can live their life

I sit in front of a camp fire
Hearing laughters from every side
Smiles brightening in the dark
What happened to these nights out?
the fun nights where the stars and moon were the only light source
and not the screen of the 3G phone
or when beauty was only experienced and not captured

It's the winkers you wanna watch, not the wankers
A ****** is a ******...is a ******
But a winker's not a ******
A winker knows, Yea! he's in the know
And what's more he knows that you don't know
When he sees you coming, he winks over at his friends saying
"Hey look! There's a boy coming and he don't know
We'll have some fun with this one.
But such is life... such is life.

P.S. I'd keep an eye on the wankers too, all the same.
(Myself I'm confused, I'm just a Winky wonky ******).

your eyelashes
bat like they’re waving hello flirtatiously,
and our shoulders brush
like two lovers stealing a final kiss,
we laugh like mountains moving
and thunder rolling
and we talk like the static on an old radio
my heart has tuned (doomed) itself to
a never-ending replay of you humming underneath your breath,
breathe everything you are into me
like remorseful resuscitation
you ask me
whether I like the boy with Friday nights in his eyes,
and I act demure,
like my skin doesn't get warm whenever you smile,
like my hands don’t yearn to be entangled with yours,
like I don"t get pulled into everything you are

my friends will poke and ****
to make me profess
“you love him!”
and I just shake my head,
because this is a love best kept
in a box at the bottom of my chest
where it is heavy and secure,
free from outsider’s ears

on Saturday nights, I will send winky faces
and blush at other boys
and I will tell you all about it once I crawl into bed
and listen to your voice wrap around me like a home,
you have become my home,
sweet home

on Sunday mornings, I will picture her
spreading her love on you like a rose pink watercolor
and kissing you like fast cars and green green green lights
and you, looking at her
all wide-eyed and bold fists
and I will ache
but I will amend.

******. Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson!!!

Yer've spilt yer seed
yer've spent it
as did Onan
on a barren land
and no flower grew
where you shot through
off a ninety nine change hand!!

obi.
(There ought be a winky emoji thingy following
but alas,,,,, I'm lacking the wherewithal whatnot.)
-------------------------------------------
Elon's musk...

I'm a conceptual millionaire,
my unpaid gas bill means **** all to me,
tomorrow, I'm a gonna buy me
a mind coat lined with thick meta fur
ignoring them chilblains that
just -- isn't there!


Obi

What does a winky face mean?

;)

is it flirty?
is it just how you text?

I

don’t

know

was it
a mistake?
an accident?
these questions are driving me crazy

i think of it as flirty,
(but maybe that’s just wishful thinking)
what does it mean to you?

please tell me

There's no reasonable explanation
As to how this all went down
When the world woke up one morning
All made up as clowns

Not a single person across the land
Did this phenomenon not claim
With big red buttons on their chests 
Spelling out new funny names

There was Patches and Petunia
Floppy and Cupcake
Winky and Bumper the Clown
Were just a few that they displayed

Everyone went about their business 
Only now they all carpooled
You could see clowns piling out of cars everywhere
From businesses to stores to schools

Crime it did die down
Because all the guns that people have
Instead of shooting bullets
Shoot out brightly colored Big Bang Flags

Of course the circus lost its glamour
With an audience made up of clowns
It's hard to tell who's there enjoying 
And who's entertaining all the crowds

People stopped taking each other seriously 
Over anything they had to say
Pointing at each other and laughing
As they go about their day

Who knew a thing like this would happen
When the world went to bed last night
That the very next morning
They'd wake up clowns for life

Oh, I almost forgot the Politicians
Were the only ones to stay the same
It's already a simple known fact
When you're already a clown you don't need to change

I Just like to be
alone to blink,
Let alone think,

Clear some space in
my Thinking Tank,

Rink a ****
Winky face,


Make way
Air bubble
In range,

A secret air
holding space,

Dont get in gravitys way,
Dont pop this bubble,
It won't rain..