29 years old
Except the voices in my head...
John and the peanut gallery,
Living on the streets
Eating out of the Bono's dumpster,
Sleeping at a picnic table
Across the lake
From a Korean church
And a dentist's office.
He had warned me about sleeping on the back steps
Or in the sanctuary
John had guided me to
So I slept outside of
A petroleum company...
The employees left me cigarettes
In the ashtray
The owner left a blanket on the table...
There had been a banquet
At the church I volunteered at
( I was on God's chosen path )
And they introduced me
To a Columbian princess...
A girl named Hattie
With a false smile.
And a chaperone.
Prim and proper
We went on two dates
One at a bookstore
One at Panera bread
And agreed to meet once more...
I offered to save her lover
Who looked like Paul Walker,
She offered me a one way flight
Her father's favour
And her brother's protection.
They knew what they had made in me.
A Columbian prince
And sleep at the foot of her bed
Like the dog that I am
Those who have shown me
The least bit of kindness
Should they have me.
Kicked to the curb.
She remained firm
That if I wanted out of my
Less than anything life,
All I had to do
Was meet her the next day
At the bookstore.
I walked away elated.
I didn't even *******.
I went back to my bed,
The ledge of a picnic table
And I went to sleep
Butterflies in my stomach
Thoughts of what would be.
I dreamed of puppies
Playing and licking my face.
I awoke at about 3 am.
I felt someone pull gently back my long hair over my ear.
I thought it was her.
And then the cold singing blade of the steel was at my throat.
It only took a second
But I put my fingers between it,
Took a stand and disarmed him.
A vampire dressed 17 year old in a full suit, scared...looking unprepared for the speed of my movements ( I once trained with Bruce Lee ),
I handed the wooden handled knife back to him,
And he stabbed me...
Twice in the jugular.
The blood that came forth was warmer than the December night,
It rooster tailed
It streamed down my body.
I kept my wits and asked him
He said for power,
Those words forever haunt me.
I picked up my blanket
Held it against my bleeding neck
And slung my backpack over my free shoulder.
I asked him to take a walk.
You'll be dead in four minutes
I screamed no.
He walked with me anyway.
We made it to the streetlight at the end of the road
I had asked him to throw the knife and let bygones be bygones
But he wouldn't go.
So we made it to the main road.
I saw oncoming headlights and hope and threw my backpack at him trying to survive.
He stabbed me five more times.
The bowels, the lungs, an inch of the spine.
My hand was shredded from initially gripping the blade.
He saw the cars coming and he turned and ran away...
I sat there,
In the middle of the street and bled and waved
As they all passed me by.
About 3 minutes later 6 cop cars surrounded me, and asked me why...
I from this point Won't get into specifics...
But needless to say,
The doctors tried to ****** me more for the sake of a couple days.
Trying to cut me open from navel to ******.
Denying me blood transfusions and food, for three days...simply saline solution. They even wanted to puncture my lung again.
I didn't let them touch me
Other than a few simple sutures
To reattach my nearly severed ring finger
That still points backwards...
I have felt the cold of all but two pints of blood leaving your body.
I have breathed through the pressure of a perforated lung...
I have been stabbed
Twice in the jugular
And five more times in vital organs.
But I have survived this...
The so called mental illness comes earlier....the generalized anxiety later...
The point of the story is I missed my date the next day with a Columbian princess...and she had to go home without me
While I sat in a hospital bed
Begging for a joint, a beer, and cheeseburger that they never brought me.
Swear on the medical records