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fdg Dec 2013
A night that feels like years ago
but was really merely seconds
creeps into your dreams
(not that you're sleeping)
and reminds you of how good it felt to get under your own skin
(you deserved it, you little ****)
and after the memory makes you sink into your own skull so deep you can't even hear the morning birds chirp you into reality,
you walk face first into closed doors, trying to slam through
and the door handle is right there
but your hands are tied behind your back
tied so tight it's cutting
(this is what you wanted, ISN'T IT?)
I don't belong to anyone
I belong to the earth and the skies
And leap year's missing days
I belong to storms and thunders growl
To the stars and the moon
And broken birds' still beating hearts
I am a child of light and shadow
I belong to nothing and no one
I will never belong to them
I will never belong at all
Chris Aug 2015
My room has become a little less me
And a little more you
You've rubbed off on things by the shelf
Memories coated in a thin veil of you.
Dust prints on forgotten things.
Goodnight, goodnight, memories
Hung on the door.

Corners found branded with your name,
Initials carved into dry wall.
Things rearranged the way you like them,
The imprint of an old room grows tall,
Overtaking what's left.
Goodnight, goodnight memories
Stored in my drawer.

The girl in my bed reminds me less of her
And more of you, you see.
Or more strictly, how she could never kiss
Me, not like how your kisses could be.
Goodnight, goodnight, girl unbelonging
Next to me.
Let me keep in secrecy the troubles that have befallen me. For if she sees the worries written upon me she's sure to make note and in turn ask me for my reasons of longing. My sudden unbelonging for it is not here I want to be, cast into shadows walking amongst the lost and forgotten treading on a muddy Valley floor whos paths were long worn and trotted with many a misery, and snare. Please let my feet not fail me nor my minds eyes bury me in fear. Let these tribulations befuddle me no more instead place my mind on beauty and lend me a message of hope and prosperity a figurative ladder to reach heights of lights gleaned with Emerald ethereal glow and plate colors pure as snow glown in strewn out rows across the skies like Aurora Borealis
Deswer Jan 2012
This poem is going to be a lie
He tells himself
Writhing in tantalizing filaments
The bright asphyxiation drawing him closer and closer
To this
An ideal
Of the perfect truth
Told out in unwritten song
Painfully typed words
A clever shower of meteors
Belittling the dangerous craters on the surface
The danger of tripping and dying
Not withstanding what we know to be
A falicy
My multilingual interpretation of her feelings
Old testimonies heard in the court
Of the already guilty
This poem is a complete distortion of facts
My trivial response to empowered individuals
Standing on my Adam's Apple
And beating on my lungs like drums
Rhythm meaning honor
And the attention of the onlookers meaning
The inviting glow
Of the fireplace.
She sat down next to
That night
That town
That unfamiliar castigating of a child not belonging to
You
Or her
Or the abyss
"Unbelonging"
"Inbelonging"
Not.  Yours.

The wordsmith falters
Checking his math
Calculation, equation, kiss on the cheek
For luck for death
For the noose to slip, lovingly
And gently to the ground as the trap door swings open
A great, open toothed smile
Laughing at silence
BARBARIC to interrupt such delicacy
Straining to look into my eyes
She whispers low
I want to find a home...
And i tell her, with my heaviest conviction
"No home is."
Which could mean anything.
This poem is a verisimilitude
A lie about a truth
Which, again...
Could mean anything...
Sometimes I feel I am not for this world
I belong to some distant star, far away
Or deep under the ocean
where the currents will rock me to sleep
I lie awake in my own bed,
in my own house, forever whispering
'I want to go home'
I don't yet know where home is
maybe one day, maybe one day
a Nov 2015
city of love painted crimson but not
for the passion and hope but
for the blood staining the streets
in unworthy unbelonging abode.
and i'm sorry. there is a place inside
me that aches and screams and yearns
and apologises.
those who committed these acts of
****** are not muslims as they so
proudly call themselves, there is only
one word for this type of man and it is
murderer.
im so sorry
Satsih Verma May 2019
Why did you want
to become mine,
when god was not there?

This sun, this moon,
these stars. My Miranda,
my nightingale.

An Atman floats
without a body. Can you
touch it with lips only?

Like potter's wheel
starting, you want to create
a body with words,
not hands.

Then why did you follow
me, watching me to take
the ash-bath, becoming
sinless?

Tears runs faster
than blood.
aurora kastanias Mar 2018
Countries fabricated
by roaming people drawing
borders behind them,
trails of hostility

to select those who would cross
rims after them, to keep
resources to themselves,
lands of prosperity

on which to build, greed
homes to shield,
newly engendered families
xenophobes,

induced to believe
by governors they are different,
they are better, superior
and ultimately worth

much more, than any stranger
standing on the other side
of imaginary lines, they are barbarians,
unbelonging

to great civilisations, against whom
we need protection,
stealing scientists
left right and centre,

research peddled as development
promising a high from nuclear weapons,
bombs called mothers to adore
campaigning over a grand potency

participating in, an international
mallet-measuring contest
whilst signing accords,
for those who have to keep

and those who don’t
not to aspire, to acquire,
a prize for populations
who have successfully or can

destroy approaching aliens
simply by, pressing the right button
on a joystick suitable for games,
of mass destruction

ten thousand nuclear warheads
ready for use.
On nuclear weapons and non-proliferation treaty
Satsih Verma May 2019
Why did you want
to become mine,
when god was not there?

This sun, this moon,
these stars. My Miranda,
my nightingale.

An Atman floats
without a body. Can you
touch it with lips only?

Like potter's wheel
starting, you want to create
a body with words,
not hands.

Then why did you follow
me, watching me to take
the ash-bath, becoming
sinless?

Tears runs faster
than blood.
staring into the warm void this evening
i take my place within jarring volitions.

thought is volatile. a mason strikes
metal, revealing its malleability.

there is treason in thought of geography;
i will shatter the mooring and find myself

something the fluting wind is the muse
and echoing quiet, a ripple from stone-skip.

the next place to go is the beginning
stemming from a concatenation of ruins.

the thinning visage of masses crossing
the streets wary of collisions

is something realer than the wounded glaze
of asphalt and the mirage that goes along

tiptoeing like a danseuse through shards
of incandescent figures. fumes. sprawls.

untouched virgins. tacit stones. doves
perching on powerlines nestled like youth

suckling mothers. fathers facing telegraphs
and the sure machine of dearth.

stasis of peregrinations. peripatetic
crush of imminent homes.

this is to assuage its call, from nowhere
arrives the next train to Kamuning,

disappearing in a plethora of arms
sequined by sweat under the swelter of planets

unfurling a bent axis of tragedies. we are
fraternized to tracks, unyielding distances,

makeshift solaces serial, benign, tenured.
   belonging. unbelonging.

our destination: an impending sojourn,
   the verdigris taking form.
Satsih Verma Mar 2017
Belonging
to unbelonging
was becoming a method
exploring the path.
In the backyard unpleasant fumes
were rising.

Nocturnal swoop of enlightment,
clearly becomes a festival
of yellow death.
Who was hiding the truth?

Flowering of the thought in sky
ripens cessation of grief.
Slopes and summits,
bring tears in eyes.

Solace of ancestral home
was gone. Bold ceilings were hung by ungodly fears.
Wet hands lift the body of past,
classical future was gleaming slowly.
Made a bruised heart wait out in the cold
Had it sag down
On your streets where there were no justice
Only merciless dogs trembling in their skin
For so violent an unbelonging
Such a vain act of expelling
Came from your seat, your house
Cold hearth
The ones you bore waiting waif
Out on your streets, in concrete embellish
the ones you could not take home
Orphaned and fooled
Ding ding ding
Hearing of the death bell ring
And honor dies bleeding
But not a love lost
Heliza Rose Jul 2016
I stalk,
And then I find you in my belongings
I find you between age old books as a stained piece of paper unbelonging in the chapters
I find you behind a photograph stained and almost unrecognisable, I find you there as worn out ink and there I try to read you but fail oh so miserably
I continue to search for you, find you and lose you again in the mass of my clutter while the clock ticks on waiting until I find you again
there were times
when I filled my lonely cracks
with whatever sort of fit

though I knew
it wasn't really capable of
meeting me on all my levels -
intensity, emotion, intellect,
oddity, creativity, curiosity,
carnal abandon

I've found matches
but those compounds
burn out quickly
sparklestarts
fading

it's terrible how lonely I am
yet, resist being appeased
with (con)temporaries

it always ends up making me
more lonely

after crave subsides
and short-lived chems exit
the self-loathings start chanting
we ******* told you so

when my heart says nope
which it almost always does,
at some percentage,
my body knows -
I'm there, but not fully
in it:
walled distrustful protection mode
no wide open uninhibited throes
it's aspects of yes, meshed with no

it's why
a majority of my encounters
have involved substances
my addiction is afflicted
with knowing
it won't be
the thing I crave

so I numbed
my persnickety heart
in order to keep
fever down

I can't just
open up for anyone -
unfurl rose spectrum
of precise art and language
that comes from heart
and dictates skeleton
to dance in ecstatic
primal possession

I am flint
crafted for
reciprocal ignition
upon inherent nature
of symmetric material

and you know, my heart
has never been blasted off hinges
with body in tandem, 100%

but I know that it
can and will

heal all the things
burn up the pain,
the unbelonging

wipe the slate free
of tormented cravings
replacing with gratitudinal awe
Blois Nov 2017
Unfaithful, renegade, unbelonging.
Like a cat staying where the food is.
But the guard dog also keeps quiet when fed.

Maybe cats and dogs are not so different.
After all, hearts are children
who look for what they desire.
Rowan Dec 2018
They can’t make out the stars
on this moonless night,
though the torn curtains lay
stripped of willful ignorance.
They can’t see the green left in the stalk
of a dying marigold bloom
scattered on the floor between
shards of a broken vase.

It’s hard to find the seeds after
Autumn’s breath stills the dirt,
the day is night-taken and the
undying questions tiptoe around
the tapestry laid out, unbelonging
from the crushing grief it has
woven into the well cared thread.

The lavender and ginger tea steam
whispers upward, toward the popcorn ceiling
where the moonstruck wander in
tight knit culminations, songbirds floating around,
wilting feathers dropping as stones fall down
in unrelenting storms of chaotic speeches.

Tap tap tap on the fifth story window
hollering up from the snow frozen grass roots,
incoherent language sauntering around the table
at thanksgiving dinner, dim faces
stretched out alongside the turkey.
the bus ride would be long
                                             quiet whisperings of passengers all around
                                             LOUD AND OVERWHELMING
                                strangely quiet      still     distant

feelings of OVERWHELMING INTESITY
                                              of every empty word
                                                                                  spoken by the dejected

hum of the bus engines
                                                            ROARING SCREAMS

                   surrounded
                                         by a thick blanket of silence
                    alone
                                          feeling burning numbness

With the bus's QUIET loud RUCKUS
                                       BRAIN filling with television snow
               VENOMOUS VAGUE SHOUTING RAVAGING blank fields
                                                                                  lacking understanding

body oversized and heavy
                                                                                        DiFfErEnT
                  UnFiTtInG
                                                         UnBeLoNgInG
          too transparent for an earthly realm
                                               TOO HEAVY FOR THE DIVINE

Gum stretched     t--h--i--n     from a child's mouth
           into the ethereal
                                          with filthy fingers
                                                                            of decussated spirits

                             the lowering sun shining through
                                                                AcloudedBUSwindow

              Shun the BRUISED skY
                                                                    hints of deep purple and red
                                                                    glimpses of blue.

a small girl with her mommy
gently caressing her cheek
against a teddy bear's soft fur.

                                 EVERYTHING IS OKAY!
                                 EVERYTHING IS OKAY!!!
                                 EVERYTHING IS OKAY!!!!!
                                 EVERYTHING IS OKAY!!!!!!!
                                 EVERYTHING IS OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!
                                 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!
NIGEL Dec 2018
The Beech Grove

Last steps make no sound;
They superimpose on moist unstirred grass,
On a cold bright lane, shadow strewn.
Flanked by beech, destiny’s guard of honor,
Branches crowd in intangible, tangled glory.
Feet fall within a psychic landscape,
Bereft of earthly impact
Above wrenched-away Earth.


Dappled light dazzles
Those left to wait for unheralded end,
Smearing the screen of one born of silence.
A sight of earth displaced from sense;
Cold clarity. Gone absolutely.
The steps of the unbelonging
Walk an empty country lane-
An after dinner stroll that ends
In Another Place.
unnamed Oct 2019
Not a patriot or an immigrant
anything in any land could be
more than this weak accident
of eternal unbelonging rent
not a sentence meaning free
Caroline Shank Oct 2022
Even the birds are quiet,
This household of years.
The clocks rhythm is to
your heartbeat.

No one here knows the
secret of unbelonging
The jewel that is hidden
beneath my crying soul.

The incessant wait.
The door that squeaks your
name in a long mantra.

Do let me find the core of
you, the deep of your gone
ness.  The shine of the seat
of your soul is under the
tears of thin smiles and
platitudes.

When all along the door keeps
shutting.  The snap of the
lock is crash to my whispered
prayer.  Profound is to the
leaf on the wind as the dreams
of nights long silence.

Coping is a sign on the road
that says goodbye.
The turn in the plaid of
letting go.

The winds of possibilities
blow over me to the breeze
of

songs.


Caroline Shank
10.27.2022
writtenasunder Mar 2020
your divinity frolic provokes my flesh
godless minstrels slow dance blue confessions
demolish our disavowed theatre

i am stone in your singing eyes
looking down on my plucked soul
anchored by liar’s sweat

you want my embalmed fury sound
whose awful lurking unbeing
i treasure holy

me under your too heavy caress
waiting without hope or burden
for the purloined agony to thicken

the surrendered nape’s soft fur our unimagining
my only unbelonging belongs
to your teasing self-love

i want you to find what you are not
to brighten you
cease your confidence.

after all these years
don’t you think it’s time we met?

i find my own way home
Tom D May 2020
this mask I must wear
it leaves me with a cold sense
of unbelonging
it makes me a stranger
among many other masked strangers
and though I am but a few miles away
I feel far from home

— The End —