Even though humans struggle to live and darkness is easier memorized than light..
Moments of bliss and happiness are still likely to occur,
Perhaps not today perhaps it will take a longer time,
That is what I find very beautiful,
The love of life which rarely is set ablaze by events,
Rejoicing, in the truest bliss alike spiders in their tiny dance,
Forgetting the heavy rain and feeling alive on the highest level,
Even though, it is likely to fade as if it was dust carried away by a gentle breeze of the coming spring, far away till the horizon,
A moment of love can change a persons view of the world,
Motivate them to keep on fighting to experience the sheer amount of joy and happiness carried to them by the purest state of the mind,
Until all the shrapnel of their hearts rejoin and shine beyond the scene, with light coming from above the heavens, golden, free of sin,
And when the sunset ends these cheerful moments, their memories live on, reminding, recalling and pointing out to fight furthermore,
Even though humans stuggle to live wretchedly,
Living,
Is what I find very beautiful.

~ Umi

captive in your web, i stuggle for release
beguile'd by the catacombs of your mind
you lured me, then chamber'd my heart
seduction was an enticing bite of euphoria
then a spun betrayal of being sealed away
stuck in this web'd hollow grotto
your den of iniquity ****** me in
impenetrable and incomprehensible,
this filigree'd labyrinth holds my soul
entangled for an eternity in this maze
i pray for redemption in that end sting,
placate your every whim to set me free

Sometimes it's hard to believe you're suffering.

Through a pain we humans can't understand.

Though with that smile you must wish us not to know.

The pain of loss and suffering you've had to endure.

And sometimes it's as plain as day.

You stuggle to hide the pain but can't.

And you look as though you'll burst into tears.

I wonder how you ever were able to keep it hidden.

And then you smile as if nothing happened.

And though the smile is brighter then the sun,

you still hurt more then anyone will know.

And it seems to hurt even more, every time i see you this way.

You worry so much about everyone else.

You should worry more about yourself.

Sure, i could say the same thing to myself.

But your heart seems to be breaking for others.

I don't want to see that kind of smile.

When you're sad, you can show it to me.

When you want to cry, go ahead and cry.

And when you want to smile, then truly smile.

I keep thinking I did something wrong
But I'm trying so hard.
The internal stuggle to follow my heart keeps howling at me snapping, bitting from the inside
They keep calling, a computer- to tell me my bills are past due.
Where am I suppose to get this money? I've been applying and crying. Dipping into my savings to patch up the glue.
I'm grateful for my loans, I'm looking for work, I say.
I can't go back and wait tables my education will be thrown away, I scream but its never heard:
"Congraduations with your opportunities but you do not qualify for this or that"
An empty good luck as they turn their back.
On the brink, I'm going to sink, the flood, Im drowning...consuming this fire
That's been forcing me afloat.
I want just to let go. I want to hide when I find out He can't even stand by myside.
I'm terrified. I'm worried to the point I sob. Wiping away my tears, shaking my fears.. With no one to help.
I am alone.
I'm trying so hard, I jump up at night. I push the voices out of my head that wake me up from debts and evils unsaid.
Why did I want to grown up so fast when now in my age I'm nostalgic for my past
Oh youth and promise of tomorrow.
A brave face for a little girl looking to take on the world of  green and the red
Of past dues and credit scores, the negative sign in my bank account... The whites of my eyes just red.
All my hopes and yet, I'm so sad.
at least at the end of this poem, it's not all held in, everything that's killing me, everything I'm chain smoking away. It's out and open.
It's alive in me and in you alive enough I will push through.

I imagine you're disappointed in me. I can't say I blame you. It is not my fault that I didn't become the laborer you dreamt I'd be, split palms stung by sweat.  It is my fault, however, that I became nothing at all.
  
  Our family was defined by a cardboard box. Your job was to move them, hundreds an hour. My brothers and I were raised by a box that puked The King Of Queens and censored 90's dramas. My mother buried Polaroids of frozen dance moves and eternal smiles, under fake jewelry in a cheap cherry box.

  And when I carried the box that ate my grandfather, I showed no stuggle, tucked in my shirt, not wanting to embarass you.

  And when I forgot the Sea Bass belt, I promised not to **** myself with, in a box at the ward.

  And when I carried the box that sealed my grandmother.

  And when I burnt the box of letters she wrote from far and away; trying to erase who I was.

  I think I have let you down, father. I can only offer myself the way I'd offer a box: disappointing on the outside with a chance of beauty in the inside, if you're willing to open up.

The old apple tree was happy...happy and strong
He was proud that he has stood in the same spot for so long,
and has been mastering the most devastating storms
while standing tall and always letting leaves sing their favorite song
about how fortunate they were to call the apple tree their home
praising him for surviving all these decades on his own.

One day a man passed by
picked up an apple and straighten his suit
bite in the sour apple and choose to forget his manners and be rude by being unappreciative and throwing away the fruit.

But the apple tree kept smiling eventhough he surely did care
but he knew that life was never fair
So he never let a pair of uncaring people create out of his happiness great despair

Once a leaf asked him how he never lost fun,  
how he kept shining like the sun,
no matter how many bad days he had to overcome

The apple tree smiled and said: "Jusz look and humankind,
look at them for a minute and count how many flaws you will find.
They fumble through life not knowing what to do
Then they stumble over small obstacles on their route
Later they mumble how they never did what they were supposed to
And at the end they crumble because they realize how an unfullfilled life can feel cruel.
I always knew why I am here,
never felt empty never experienced that fear
The only thing is I had always to stay at the same place
unlike the human race who posseses the unmatched ability to move through space
but never utilized it worrying about the problems they wexistence

So how can I not be happy knowing the true meaning of my existence
They eternally talk about brofliance and think that they have to stuggle to get excellence
And now just imagine them knowing what they were here for,  how fast they would expierence the purest form of resiliance

The constant stuggle of a losing battle,

yet a sparkle of hope remains in me,

I'll carry on til I release my final breath,

then happily go to where I should be.

My  time on earth has been full of hopes and dreams,

no regrets have I, just some great memories.

So as I lay my head down to sleep tonight,

I'll not be afraid if I don't wake to see the light.

So please celebrate my life,

don't waste it with tears,

I left with a smile on my face,

and I had no fears.

Now here's a parting gift from me to you,

go out and do all the things you dream to do,

Make your life how you want it to be,

as the future no one can foresee.

Things are skewed in little ways
That we are believed to think everything's okay.
First things first,
Why the hell is it so shocking that my parents are still together?
Why is a normal question "are your parents divorced?"
Is it because a lot of people lose feelings for the first person they married?
Do they love the person or are they bored?
Or maybe one of them finally showed their true colors
In the mindset their partner can't run away.

While we are on marriage,
Why is it okay for some people to love someone
But others can't?
I think you know where I'm going.
Only recently did the marriage discrimination stop.
But in my state, there no breath of fresh air

The ones who seem to love more,
Can't lock their lives together
Just because it's wrong in the eyes of God,
But these people sure weren't preaching when they gossip, lied, or stole

One last thing, is it normal for a college student to struggle?
Why is it normal for them to be thousands of dollars in debt for the rest of their lives,
even when they have scholars ships and finical aid?
Because books and food aren't free,
Older generations critise them
When college student still live with their parents.
Older generations critise them
When they move out and stuggle
In the economic trap that the older generation set.

A choice.
Was it right?

A journey of emotions,
Sometimes a stuggle to live by-

But it was OUR choice,

For the struggle gave us strength,
And we grew to know
and still know,

our choice,
To love?

is LOVE

For once,
the right choice.

In books
we watch
as characters
go through
hard times

We pull
for them
as they
stuggle
to survive

In our hearts
they deserve
the happy ending

I haven't always
rooted for myself
Haven't always
believed in my heart
that I deserve
the happy ending

While I've always
cherished words
books and poetry

I haven't always
cherished my
own story

I realize now
my life is worth
cherishing

And I'm going to fight
for my own
happy ending

Why make me stuggle
because of you,
When I'm willing
to struggle with you?

Declining youthful trails
so quickly becoming
this wisdom cuisine.
Then suddenly begins
this pressuring to become,
and then finally...
to be floating between
all that is punctual.

The world is a puzzle
Filled with pieces
Not for a novice there will be stuggle
That is my thesis
The box has no depth
Life created out of debt
Choose your words wisely it could be hell or just heck
We make our choices but influence is that
Heard the words of the wise but i choose to be deaf
Bought a new box but it lacked happiness
Searched far and wide, i found its best to not know whats happening
Find the right pieces and it starts to fit
Now you have a beautiful picture: life; the worlds gift

I’m not
I am NOT
Depressed, bi polar, Miserable
I’m not
I am NOT
An addict, impaired, hopeless
I’m normal
I don’t have issues
What I go through I can solve .
It’s not an issue , no problem.
I got this , talked about it for long
I know how to fix me.
I’m ok, like everyone.
I’m positive, I’m happy .
I don’t stuggle from nothing .
Life’s great , all good .
Please get out my way
I’m ok

my philosophy is that my peeps are glad to see a different side of me
we can humbly agree the streets are not the same when everyones playing the name game
got Eminem still on his way to fame but don't forget about Nas cause he's no lost cause
got beats from my hip sipping on the line when everybody around you is quite fine
fashionable jeans with Goochie hand bags forget about North Korea and their sand bags
Trump in is ivory tower but why do we even bother to keep on hearing him holler
there's reason for my being in the changing of the season with Drake in good taste
this is the melting *** so watch it shine cause Vitale is in the mix so kiss his behind
its your choice to salute the flag or not or have you forgot this spoken melody
those are the things we used to see while were out there getting our college degree
save the drama for your momma and we can't forget Obama he such a charmer
but you knew it would be like this getting caught up in the mix waiting for your next fix

like a jewel in the Nile we can learn all the great while we got a shoulder to stand
with an infinite plan to spread it out upon the masses no one deserves second classes
our history books have proven that we need to take part in a solution
a nation united in love but some of us want to sweep things under the rug
got high hopes for the undersground sound cause they still got me in the game
not grabbing that text is like driving me insane but who are we to blame
with cats having blue hats they stuggle for assistance in joing in the resistance
we got to learn to fight the power or take a nice cold shower
don't look down on me cause I'm not dead yet but I'm going to be the man you'll never forget
make the melody gell with you and me then you will see sweet lasting harmony.

life can be a burden make you give up hope
it can be a stuggle find it hard to cope
we have to grin and bear it take it day by day
learn to deal with life what ever comes our way

what is round the we can never see
thats the way of life what will be will be
we have to carry on look life in the eye
and the day ahead might have a brighter sky

carry on regardless through each passing day
use your faith and hope till the burden goes away

Allah loves those hearts which are pure
Their cleanliness remain an excellent trait
This is how love resonates but to allure
This is how beauty embraces to just dilate

Good intention is its own sweet reward
Stuggle to be pure never goes just waste
A loving innocent heart remains His ward
He loves cleanliness ,purity, being chaste

Virtue is its own reward do understand
My love righteous is blessing in disguise
Its a pleasure to be on one frequency,band
It is a combination of sweet heart and eyes

Colonel Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright May 2020 Love Remains

when a heart is empty lonliess  everywhere
love that you once knew now longer there
mind is in a whirl spinning round and round
gone now has the love that your heart once found

everyday you wake is something that you dread
life becomes a stuggle to face the day ahead
everything around you is just an empty space
now the world you  live in is just an empty place