There's a full moon risin'
in a blackened sky
there's a full moon
sittin' huge
on the horizon sky.

There's someone standin'
on top of that hill
could it be I?
Hearin' music coming thru the trees
dancing
an old soft shoe
arms held high
silhouetted
by
that big full moon sky.

There's a shadow bein' cast
long thin and lean
stretchin' out creating darkness,
while illuminating light
all around
the shadow movin' ahead
a thin strip of darkness
and callin' it my life.

Illumination
darkness
a small pin light
flashin'
on
memories
possibilities
metaphors
allegories
waterfalls
in
all­ those
exquisite present moments
the poetry
our flash light lightenin'

And of course
there's a soul
could it be I?
Dancin' that old soft shoe
on top of that hill
a moment's delighting
in a full moon's night sky a risin'...

(Extended)

An authentic smile defeated then deleted long ago, zero chance of winnin' stretchin' all the way back to my beginnin'
It was a genuine expression that slowly melted to an unrecognizable reflection
All pigmentation givin' way revealin' a secondary, ghostly stand in walkin' in my skin and it's handed some demands in
Granted, it happened in my formative years, a couple of years before the realization hit, I was an abandoned abomination
But the impact has been felt through forty somethin' calendars and countin', often wonderin' just how many more of 'em I'll actually be needin'
A true representation of life's failed evolution, my opinion, it would've helped to have known the mission
At the very least I coulda been shown at least one possible destination
Instead of being teased with this mystical American dream while always wakin' up in a nightmareish situation
Or hell, just vaguely point me in the general direction I should be travelin' in
Oh and where I should begin because I'm sure I'll be back here again, spending a majority of me time going back to the beginnin'
Then, after that you can get back to not givin' a **** about your creation, can't be bothered to even check in too see how we're all doin'
Refusin' to even call it in with a simple "how's it goin'?" Completely stopped showin' up for some reason
What happened to all the love and forgiveness you're supposed to be dishin' out according to your words, king James edition
Bigfoot and god, both bein' heaven and earths undisputed hide and seek champion
Ignorin' all the cries for help you've been hearin' while dodgin' every little question
Eliminate guessin', can't find the answer if you can't formulate the question
Still wouldn't say it's been a waste but the needles strongly leanin' towards an awfully vague reason for existin'
An overall lack of an adequate position, doesn't really seem like I was even designed to fit in
That is if my life has been any indication
I manage to make it to, AND THROUGH, the proverbial one more day but where's the lesson?
Was it in the bull shiit I kept slippin' in before crossin' off and finishin' anythin' deemed worthy of doin'?
This just feels like non-monetary extortion, a life-sized portion, takin' far more than what's ever been given
How do you think that's gonna end? This is not a rhetorical question, I'm looking for answers and forever waitin'
I'm still in competition with myself, the prize, livin', the compromise, loosin' myself in a portrait I've broken
Or durin' the transition, stumblin' across the realization that everyone's been right, I am the problem, that's no longer opinion
Find it in the nonfiction section
The eradication of an inner companion, replacin' compassion with aggression, smooth sailin' with frustration, no direction, no validation
The transition to curmudgeon happened earlier than expected, drawin' parallels from the curious case of Benjamin Button
Not for nothin', the infestation of negative thoughts caused a mutation inside and out, completely loosin' what it means to be a person, never was a good one
Probably no longer a shoe in for team human, my demon is all high on my supply with a gargantuan appetite for fear and hate eggin' it on
It's not a lose lose situation, and it sure ain't win win, and any other option, I'm guessin', got lost in translation
But I'm pretty sure somethin's gotta end in order for another somethin' to begin, at least that's what I'm hearin'
Still can't find a reason that justifies the conviction
Is what I'm feelin' damnation?
Is what I'm seein' my own creation?
It could just be that no matter what I'm not goin' to be happy with the conclusion
Only recently discoverin' life is not a choose your own adventure, you're not allowed to be pickin' your preferred endin'
A mustard seed of faith in myself ain't doin' nothin' but turnin' a mole hill into a mountain
No fat lady singin', just a whole lotta screamin', just a band playin' as I feel myself sinkin' into oblivion
Who the hells idea was it to make me captain? Given the keys to the ship but zero trainin'
Pardon me for givin' up on salvation but if you've been payin' even a little bit of attention
It should go without sayin' but you're waistin' away waitin' for divine intervention
Be careful what you look to for inspiration, maybe get a second opinion before goin' full send, divin' head in without practicin' the landin'
A recipe for disaster cookbook in the kitchen, irony gone missin', passin' overhead, no one's even lookin'
It may not be your intention, but there's no hate like the love of a christian
I'm just sayin', that's a world I lived in, I wish this was a work of fiction, then I could benefit from all this wishin'
Even presentin' it as an exaggeration would be lyin', if I'm lyin' I'm dyin', we're all dyin', they're all lyin'
A livin' contradiction by their own admission, rid them of bullshiit with a little sanitation
Keep an eye on the who you're prayin' to every day, it may not be the one, or at least the only one, listenin'
And there's no mulligan, no snooze button, no rewind function, no wake me up when it's over discussion
A conversation on morals is just opinion, life's not a given, it can be taken but if you can't take it, please, don't give in
With a questionable foundation any moment construction can slip, unnoticed, into destruction
Countless lessons on dysfunction, an influx of confusion, temperaments risin', no inner peace on the horizon
Please have your opposition choosen before the match is striken allowin' the dumpster fire lifestyle to begin
Fuelin' suspicion, a growin' unease between both neighbor and friend, the end will come as no surprise then

Just pay attention

©2023

(First draft)

An authentic smile defeated then deleted long ago, zero chance of winnin' stretchin' all the way back to my beginnin'
It was a genuine expression that slowly melted to an unrecognizable reflection
All pigmentation givin' way revealin' a secondary, ghostly stand in
Granted, it happened in my formative years before I was abandoned due to the mutation
But the impact has been felt through forty somethin' calendars and countin'
A true representation of life's failed mission, I'm guessin'
Not necessarily my opinion but one every other person is holdin', no question
Still wouldn't say it's been a waste but the needles strongly leanin' towards no reason for existin'
An overall lack of position, doesn't seem like I was designed to fit in, that is if my life has been any indication
I manage to make it to and through the proverbial one more day but where's the lesson?
This just feels like non-monetary extortion of a life-sized portion
Take far more than what's given, with or without permission
I'm still in competition with myself, the prize, livin'
The compromise, loosin' myself in a broken system or durin' the transition
The eradication of an inner companion, replacin' compassion with aggression, smooth sailin' with frustration, no direction, no validation
The transition to curmudgeon happened earlier than expected, drawin' parallels from the curious case of Benjamin Button
Not for nothin', the infestation of negative thoughts caused a mutation inside and out, completely loosin' what it means to be human
It's not a lose lose situation, and it sure ain't win win, and any other option, I'm guessin', got lost in translation
But I'm pretty sure somethin's gotta end in order for another somethin' to begin, at least that's what I'm hearin'
Still can't find a reason that justifies the conviction, is what I'm feelin' damnation? Is what I'm seein' my own creation?
It could just be that no matter what I'm not goin' to enjoy the conclusion, not allowed to settle on your preferred endin'
No fat lady singin', just a band playin' as I feel myself sinkin' into oblivion so pardon me for givin' up on salvation
It should go without sayin' but you're waistin' away waitin' for divine intervention, be careful what you use for inspiration
It may not be your intention, but there's no hate like the love of a christian, I'm just sayin'
Pay attention, who you're praying to every day may not be the one listenin'

©2023

Momma
once
told me,
"be like a cat,
and find
a little
spot
of sunshine
for yourself."

in all the darkness
of winters cold
shadows

when the sun
don't show its
face at the
window for long

you'll find the cat
staking a claim
to that
lil bit
o sunshine
that peeks
its way into
the room

warmin her
bones

stretchin out

lickin herself
clean

purrin her
worries off

takin
a bitty nap
to while
the darkness
away


Oakland
2/19/11
jbm

(Join in, my-
Join in, my Child, and listen...
...diggin' through
my old, numb Shadow)

Shadow's sheddin' Skin,
I've been pickin' scabs again.

I'm down, diggin' through
my old muscles, lookin' for a clue.

I've been crawling on my belly,
clearing out what could have been
I've been wallowing in my own
confused and insecure delusions
for a piece to cross me over
or a word to guide me in,
I wanna feel the changes comin' down,
I wanna know what I've been hiding
in my Shadow,
my Shadow;
change is coming
through my Shadow,
my Shadow;
sheddin' Skin,
I've been pickin'
my scabs, again.

(Join in, my-
join in, my Child,
my Shadow moves
closer to meaning)

I've been crawiling on my belly,
clearing out what could have been.
I've been wallowing in my own
chaotic, insecure delusions.
I wanna feel the change consume me;
feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis
and cleansing I've endured in
my Shadow,
my Shadow.
Change is comin';
now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory;
contemplate what I've been clinin' to;
Forty Six and Two ahead of me.

I
chose to live and to
grow;
take and give and to
move;
learn and love and to
cry;
**** and die and to
be;
paranoid and to
lie;
hate and fear and to
do
what it takes to move through;
I
choose to live and to
lie;
**** and give and to
die;
learn and love and to
do
what it takes to step through.

See my Shadow changin',
stretchin' up and over me.
Soften this old armor,
hopin' I can clear the way by
steppin' through my Shadow,
comin' out the other side.
Step into the Shadow!
Forty Six and Two,
just ahead of me.

My chin digs a ditch stretchin' miles behind me
My tucked tail has fallen off and lost sight of me
Occupying limbo in the company of ennui
A trait from Eeyores' arced personality
No hospitality
Low fruit hanging heavy
Rots gradually
A ******* at the ready,
Presented indefinitely,
Squarely into the faceless face of longevity
As it inevitably gets the best of me
And I seemingly seem to be ignoring the complexity
Like it doesn't apply to me
Oh the irony

©2024

God bless the soldiers

Yeah God bless the soldiers
That died for nothing
For a punk *** lie
I gotta stay high sendin' a blessin to the sky
All day **** them ******* they gotta pay
I remember like it was yesterday say
Ya words playing vividly in my mind grind
Always we was laughin blastin
Have a good time
Then a bomb took you away
Now I'm stuck with a graphic vision
Of dead homies
Closed casket and a covered flag
I seen the pain in the families
Eyes and cries
Day and night they were demised for nothing
For believin in something
That was told through heresay
**** them but it made me a rebel
Never shook hands with them devils
But I know it gotta be
Somebody watching me
Slaves to times through crimes
Underhand deals sealed and skills
Sold to train muthaphukkaz
To **** us what the ****
Is going on it's all wrong
Read the art of war best enemies is self
Cuz if you don't know ya self
Ya bound to be blasted a tisket a tasket
So many hearts in a casket
I feel yo grief
Wishing you was here every year I shed a tear
I know it ain't no justice
Dog tags hung on the wall
Can't get a piece of the pie
Cuz all them politicians lie
In the belly of the beast see they need to souls to feast
But I broke the chain's strains
Around my brain maintain
Re-Focus the picture
I ain't dying
**** that keep my m 16 to my back
Kevlar rifle boots in memory of you
21 gun salute don't stop the loot
Im still bustin' til they bodies all red
From locals states and feds
God bless the dead soldiers


Since the break of dawn
I'm hearin the same theme song
With the stretchin horns
Battles of scorns cuz they pain is all worn
Reminsicing on the soldiers thats gone
Everybody at attention but my minds locked in submission
Trying to figure out what we fightin about
Even though we ain't got the clout
Them officials go home everyday
While we in the struggle jungle prey
Thrown in a desert ACUs in high
jacked boots
Looking for an adversary to shoot
But they poor as us
And why we put our trust
In to a system that don't like us
We went from fresh to crust
I'm paranoid quick to bust
At a ghost calls is close but it's just the wind gust
Coming over sand storms approaching
Everybody take cover all my soldiers is my brothers
Along with the sister's sorry I missed ya
I know you died too but know there's a hero in you
Yeah sending celebrities offspring of  demons
To entertain thee and take us out of the mental  drain
But I'm still soaked
In my clothes
Thinkin of a master plan
To expose
These ******* I got God on my side
And it's going to be ****** homicide
Yeah I gives a **** how it comes out
Cuz I'm a smart enough to know
That ain't no mercy???
Silence the court once I puff my newport
Ships to port ******* in the urban city
And that have not pity
put soldiers on the frontline
I thought we suppose to keep folks free
But it's the other way arounds
We don't see the truth until
We six feet in the ground
As the world grows colder
God bless the soldiers

To all my soldiers I served you serve for fascist government we are here it's more of us than them we will rise twenty million plus vets n they're scared **** em lets bring the pain

what shall be the last word
dribblin from this busted tongue?..........words!
stretchin out
unto what?
unto who?
............................
(we have betrayed everything)
____
the pain is WAY too much to bear!
I'M SEEN
..........

I REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE MEMORY!
i remember you
when you were real
-----------

i know you know how ugly you now seem
-----------

is this the last word?

AH CHILD!
please!
do not DIE
for our sake!
we have laid it all to waste
---
yes we have

I call shots like a mobb boss meaning you'll get tossed loosin' exhaust
Found in the lost afterworld envisions it was my decisions
To cut ya breath from living
Everyday winning got me sinning no grinning
Never see the tears of a clown so I frown
And look down on my enemies you minimes compared to me and barely
Amount to nothing get a snuffin' worse than welts from tight cuffin
On the hands stretchin' money bands cuz the game demands flows smooth like a  gust of wind
Entering your temple no it's just my bullets liftin' your mental
So it's homicidal mic skills hit like a tidal
Waves crave the heart of a brave lion no trying
Fools end up dying I ain't lying I'll leave ya body crying
And white cells multiplyin' but there's no denyin'
The depths of hell castin' spells to ya mmelons swell
And you can tell from the smell of a dead body my team Gotti I be Andy
bardellino got ya singin' saprano ****** ya halo
Even in the afterlife I made lilith my wife sharp as shaved knife
Who could **** with my legacy similiar to pun and biggie
Inflict more pain then politicians lobbyin' in DC

It's been a while since a wrote poem check my ozem stronger the better better get ya sweater
Cuz I drop knowledge like a shot from berettes knock out vendetta
Who gotta problem with the way I get cheddar
Use wisdom as a daily bread watch for the chickenheads enemies families and fake ****** who said
I couldn't make it now they wanna take it
My ends *** they see me in a diesel benz make no amends put an end to your frontin' no need for stuntin'
I show you my real motives I delegate high explosive til ya empire becomes corrosive the most magnificence since. Made my earthly presence hataz get in hesitant
I told you don't ever go over my head
Pesci lyrical michete better be ready coming gritty in the cities
Watch for the kitties showin' the ******* wearin' the mini's
Skirt don't let my feelings get hurt close to dirt
I'll be buried six feet of tears take a fleet with my peers
Underworld just waiting for me to be crown kratos of the town surround
Me back on my throne retaining all my royalties hidden in concealed tomes


Suckas better guard they melon ain't no tellin' where your soul'll be dwellin' made a rebel from a felon
Light-year birth made heads hurt bodies get ******
From the tommies puttin' in work blood on your shirt
Told you we takin' over mas victory like Nike despite enemies that might be
Close to me I whistle the crossroads angels appear and fold
Goetia laid the toll let my soul unfold show you how I turn pendejo to putos
Only roll autos never see me at the stripper poles that for weak bros watch for the brascos that wanna get me lassoed be the undercover Luciano make you sing saprano if you don't know your role mold the game
Into a perfection from a selection of my rhythmic injection
Nerves I'm still stretchin' cease me never
I'll continue my pressin'

Yosef is the coldest on the microphone
And you know this just ask ya girl who's so loving us
None above us Straight notorious but victorious
Once I step into the battle field better have ya shield
But no defense could stop the immense
Pressure either way ya leaving on a stretcher
Better known as a gourney to the after life journey
Only to be enslaved by me no present future or past
Could stop me from projectin' the blast
Hit ya cells like plas "ma causing asthma
To emcees ain't no rivalries cuz I devour em easily
Graded like cheese better believe once they receive
The magnificent epiphanies I be the elephant
In the room hooke ya with a sonic boom
Powerful paragraph that make it hard for you laugh
No jokes to tell or smell I'm not a comedian
Stretchin' rhymes like an accordion
Step into My expeditions only be left wishin'
My wildest dreams turn reality while ya cells at fatality
Can't battle me I'll body rock em
Like the treacherous three
Instantly the emcees crumble once the crowd applause
From me moving my jaws left 'em in awe
Easy victory art of war principle mentality
Bruised and battered competition shattered
I'm.moving like a piston hotter the engine
The faster I'm gettin' hittin' while my rhymes sittin'
Off the top of my thought who would ever thought?
Yosef could rip it like this makes for analysis
So much content I could write a master's thesis

What you see is what ya get
See the ****
We go through only to see through
The ******* everyday I'm plottin' a rotting
My minds close to a sarcophagus from my mental surplus
From takin' aim at my brain and the negative thangs
That I try to drain get it got it good I stay holding down my hood and if I could
Change the world from the ghetto boys and girls
and avoid the swirl keep a shine to rhymes
Like Qatars pearls rockin'  the world
Its mind time to realign the design
sunstar child is about to incline no rewind
Fast forward back to days of way back fillin' **** stacks
And the bars that
Hit nothing but Clutch Robert Horry these ****** still bore me with they story huh



mind sick and twisted as a pretzel
Pushing metals to ya mental potency detrimental
Stackin' vizerials for my imperials
Grow miracles
See me no so go catch a blow of the chrome pistol
Soften ya melon no tellin'
N I ain't talkin' about gelan' soon to be a skeleton
A Broken bristle see ya soul whistle whispers
Sighing to the afterworld ya swirl see the girls
Sirens admiring the firing while I'm hiring
Demons smiling take me in through the shots of Gin brings the outer inner within
Monsterous souls stretchin' across the corticals
Shinin' like a jewelry stones my third eye
Brailin' the scales of hells cast from a shell
Inhale the aroma of the universe
Troublsome til I touch the hearse
Polish pains with the lyrical cortisol

Know the protocol never expose the soul
It's a killer instincts never to blink thousand yard stare
I don't care got the black holes glare
A worm hole driving in souls welcome to the end
Where none can go pass the aurors glow
Stacks hit harder than Joe Jackson we get actions
From the guns stacking too many lacking I stay backin'
Myself never talk **** to invoke a mafias hit
Fools still ******* they mothers *** I see ya ****
Let the bullets ******* then stick you into
The funeral with the rest of ya fam this is a jam that I'll know ya can't slam
Me into the gravel and I'll travel around the world
With no passport but I pass ports to sort
Out my money ain't nothing funny only to a dummy