I like a whole lip-smacking smorgasbord of words,
such as preposterous and scrumptious,
sumptuous and curious,
roiling, rambunctious and trumpeting,
priapic, satyric and seraphic,
satyriasis and mimesis. Now this mimesis is the imitative
representation of nature and behavior in art and literature,
which is a pretentious way of trying to say what us writers do.
But hey, we don't just mimic things,
we can be sagacious and salacious, too.
Accordingly, I also like *******, which has a liquid sound,
and I'm not being facetious to suggest that
******* has a close connection to callipygous.
Then, for those who are suspicious of the libidinous,
I also like curmudgeonly and bodacious,
loquacious, precocious and pulchritudinous,
lubricious and fugacious,
scripturient, radiance, iridescence and magnificence,
lissome, lithe and languid (but not too limp),
shimmering and diaphanous, effulgent and evanescent,
flamboyant, fandango and flibbertigibbet,
(although this is difficult to say when you’re drunk),
voluptuous and vertiginous, slithery, **** and glistening.
And when I include crepuscular, strumpet and strawberry,
I may as well add whipped cream
as well, because this can be laid on in dollops,
and dollops is really an excellent word
along with slurping and *******, too.
Actually, I'm very flexible about words,
because in my lexicon, low moaning noises are OK, too.
These sounds come from the chord of creation
which is a sort of reverberation from the time of
primordial ooze, which I would like to squish between my toes.
Then there's protozoa, spermatozoa and also
wriggling flagella everywhere. So there.
But words don't even need to make sense,
because sweet nothings can say everything,
and heavy breathing can be ******,
even rhapsodic, ending in delirium.
Titillating should be in here too, because we all need
some tintinnabulation and tickling of the senses sometimes.
I've also decided that fecund is my second favorite word after love.
Fecund sounds abrupt, but it buds magnificently
in ******* and bellies to burgeon in absolute abundance,
everywhere. This brings me to *******, which I like, too.
I'm also partial to proud words, including bold, bulging and
brazen, along with a bit of swaggering braggadocio.
Then I like some big words, like brobdingnagian,
although I hope I'm not sesquipedalian.
Salivate is a word to celebrate as well,
along with onomatopoeia that helps choose some words here.
Drooling is highly evocative, too,
and it's not being provocative to observe that
even weapons drool when they're in the wrong hands.
And I shouldn't leave out *******, as you would expect,
because ****** is a sort of rippling word
that rhymes with spasm. Both sound deceptively simple,
but by golly, they can be intensely gripping.
And really, it's alright to writhe to this occasion
because all of us writers should endeavor
to have some good writhing in our oeuvre.
Even some bad writhing can be lots of fun, too.
But I almost forgot to mention yearning and burning (with desire)
and vulviform, velvet and venerous.
Yippee, yee har and hollerin' along with other exclamations
of exhortatory exuberance should be in this index, too.
Now. The words I don’t like include no, can’t, never,
stop and mustn’t. Also, irascible and intractable,
unmentionable, ineffable, inexpressible, incoherent,
immutable, impotent and impossible.
Then I don't like importune and misfortune,
and I don't know who thought up unthinkable,
because this is an oxymoron.
Inscrutable is also a complete cop out,
especially when there's no such word as scrutable.
Gawping, gaping, cavernous and cretinous, obsequious,
grovelling, pursed lips, circuitous,
obfuscation and isolation, unpalatable,
cruelty, tyranny and hypocrisy,
should also get the heave-**.
And I definitely don't like parsimonious and mendicant,
which are miserable words.
Quitting doesn't get there either,
and shut the **** up and ******* should also be taboo.
Also, hopeless is, really, well, it's hopeless
because it denies hope, and hope is buoyant and boundless.
I mean, sometimes hope is all we have.
But the word I dislike most is ****,
because this is an insulting word, and
to be taxonomical,
the negative score of this word is astronomical.
Hate is also right up there on this list. Hate is abominable
because it tries to destroy love, and love is indomitable.
Indomitable
is the
mightiest
word
of them all.
Yeah. So there.

Mike T Minehan

There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.

Every day is the same; they wake up in the same bed, at the same ungodly hour, to the same monotonous ringing from the alarm clock.

They grumble their ‘good morning’s; whether they believe it is or not, rolling out of opposite sides of the duvet.

They dance around each other in the bathroom, the heat of the shower creating a fog through which neither of them can see; causing him to stub his toe on the toilet or the counter, and steaming up the mirror so she can’t apply her make-up.

They continue their ritual into the kitchen; flicking on the kettle, popping in the bread, pouring the orange juice; stirring the tea, catching the toast and spreading the butter and jam. Crunching and slurping together at the table, mumbling about what their days have in store; tapping texts on their phones, crinkling newspaper in their hands.

They peck each other a kiss goodbye and mutter a ‘see you later’ before going their separate ways.

But then Monday comes...

Mondays are different.

He knows she doesn’t like Monday mornings. It’s the very beginning of a new, long, tiring week. She never looks forward to Mondays.

So he changes that.

He sets the alarm on his watch a little earlier than other days; shutting it off before it can wake her.

He slips silently out of bed and tiptoes quietly into the bathroom to shower; leaving her smiley faces and love messages on the steamy mirrors.

He creates her favourite tea and makes her toast with raspberry jam; just the way she likes it. Picking a flower from the garden; whichever one looks the happiest and brightest, he places it all on a tray and pads back up to the bedroom to wake her.

She no longer sets her alarm on Mondays. She knows he’ll not let her oversleep.

He places the flower in her hair and drops delicate kisses; full of his love and affection for her, to the corner of her mouth, until she stirs gently.

She smiles on Monday mornings.

They eat breakfast in bed, covering the sheets in crumbs and giggling contentedly as the cat licks them up.

She hums in the bathroom while he clears away crockery, and always re-emerges with the flower tucked behind her ear.

It remains there ‘til night fall.

They never once look at their phones or the paper, far too focused on each other to pay anything else mind.

Their kiss as they part reminds them of their love for each other and of the good things in life; like strolls along the shore, strawberries dipped in dark chocolate, smiling sunflowers that open to a beautiful summer’s day, and of course, Monday mornings.

Each body part
sizzled in pure pleasure
in the blissed wake
of your oral efforts
brought forth the waves
of rapturous delight...

                                       Spurs poetic inspiration
                                        in equal liberation
                                        of desires to please.
                                        Bodies transpose
                                        in fluid motion
                                        as brazen eyes meet.

        Savor the voluptuous image before you.
        Indulge your eyes in my carnal halo
        before they roll to the back of your head.

On all fours
knees between your thighs
tips of swollen breast
caress your chest
tasting fresh honey
upon lips in a kiss.

                                        Ripples of ardor
                                         hover
                                         by wet trails
                                         of sensual kisses
                                         suckling towards
                                         the apex.

Breathe in
the slow motion pace
that pulsates eagerness
to the fore tumescing bulge
leaking with anticipation
of viscous lava.

        Tickles of silken hair
        against flesh edges closer.

Emerging subtle grumbles
in deep resonance
betray your impatience .
Hands tightly twine
in tangled hair
to maneuver
the treasure hunt.

                                         Licked lips pause
                                         at the sight of fire
                                         burning in
                                         glazed gazes
                                         before engulfing
                                         the throbbing member.

Plump ruby lips
greet velvety texture
in a slow deep dive.
Tongue curls around
the flavor
in a dulcet embrace.

                                         Moans release
                                         as grip tightens
                                         in my hair
                                         settles the
                                         rhythmic pace
                                         to taste in an
                                         oscillating dance.

        The masculine aroma of heady musk
        lingering there, arouses my appetite.

With my enthusiasm
attuned to
your preferred rhythm
suckling, slurping
surface and dive
in measured unison.

                                          Break of breath
                                          allows tongue
                                          freedom to roam below,
                                          licking, soft kissing
                                          the tender hammock
                                          of testicles.

        Tongue and lips escalate higher
        to mount another assaulting dive
        deeper in the depths
        of the cusp in cavity.

Wetted fingers
probe even lower
circling superficially
as gasp escapes
your heavy breath;
flaming eyes lock.

                                          Finger dips in
                                          with expert finesse
                                          gorging hardened growth
                                          within a wrapped hand.

Thighs tighten
with rocking grip.
Head thrusts onward,
drilling forward
in each dive.

        Salvia slips
        fingers grip
        lips dip

Engorged swell, flesh tightens in an intensity
of volcanic eruption ...

        HALTS
        assault

Pace retracts.
Loosened lips kiss tip.

“Soon sweetheart, your time will ***
inside me as we surrender to synergy."

She sits across from me sipping and slurping her fat free french vanilla.
While I'm pacing myself with cappuccino imitation.

"All I'm saying is, that if he starts calling me baby, I might wanna keep him!"

She says it with that cajoling tone.
But I can notice the glimmer in her eyes that tells me she longs for that.
That sweet pet name that would mean she's special to him, in her mind...

I never could get comfortable around those things...pet names.
Cutesy little endearments reserved for a child's affection.

What is wrong with me?

She's vibrating with unmasked giddiness, glancing at her phone.
They've been dating for only months but she is lost in him.

Him.
With his once a week date nights
and clean shaven face
and joking interaction with her friends.  

She's full of soft embrace and warm affection and vulnerable interest.
Wanting never looked so form fitting on a person.
Like a cup waiting for a refill...

"If you want, I could see if his friend is up for dinner next week? You know it's been months for you..."

I hope she doesn't choke on her millionth slurp with the glare of indignation leveled at her cherub-like face.

"Ah thanks, but no thanks." races out of my mouth before I even hesitate to pretend to consider her obvious proposal.

How is it that easy to just offer companionship like that? Do I give off a "desperate for love" vibe?
And what the hell makes her think I can't find someone on my own **** time?

"Okay, okay. It's just...I hate seeing you alone. Don't you want to not be alone anymore?"

I know she loves me but those kind of questions from her caring heart, make me contemplate knocking her in the head.

My alone-ness she says.
My singular existence.

I'd laugh at her if I didn't know it would hurt her feelings.
To disregard her feeble attempts at pairing me up with whatever half-assed man candy she could sway my way.

I'm staring at the ring left from my coffee,
wondering if I should just give in this one time for her,
for me,
for the over used batteries at home.

"I'm not lonely you know. I just, haven't felt that connection yet."

Looking pitifully back at me she wonders aloud, "You're always waiting on that connection but have you ever felt it before? I mean, how do you know it's even real, that body, mind, spirit...magnet pull you believe so fiercely?"

It's the first time I've given her a genuine smile today as I tell her yes I have felt it before.
Briefly...
Bitter sweetly...

I just never got his last name.

It might have been years ago but I can still recall with clarity that electric tornado that seemed to have surrounded us.

We had only been gifted ten hours together but it left a mark on me for over fourteen years.
His face is definitely matured I imagine and his body shaped differently.
But I'll never mistake those sea green eyes, haloed by dusty blue cloud rings.  

The only boy who has ever made me want to get lost and never be found.

"Well...good luck with that. But until mystery man crashes back into your life, for god's sake live a little huh!"

She means well I'm sure but like an eager pup I just tsk at her goofily plastered expression and finish off the grainy remains of my only afternoon delight. She's in a hurry to make her "honey bunny" a homemade dinner anyway so it's not hard to cut things short on our weekly coffee shop vent session.

She's floating out the door before I even get my coat above my elbows but I can't feel offended.
Mulling over the uncomfortable idea of boring interaction with another stranger I decide to grab one more drink for the ride home.

Alone.

Oh, wonderful...now she's planted that seed.

Shaking it off, I order my vice and move benignly to wait and resolve to not think about anything related to that anymore either.

"Seems outrageous they charge so much for imitation don't you think?"

The question's asked to me but I pretend I can't hear it. A guy hitting on me today is not what I want to deal with.

And he seems to be standing right behind me
making goosebumps scatter across my neck.

He tries again, "So I guess you like buying bottom of the barrel cappuccino?"

This time I've gotten a little itchy from his voice and want him to just stop in his tracks.
So I turn to tell him where, in fact, he can go...

But I'm the one stopped short and a bit flabbergasted.

No way do things happen to me like this.

Those coincidental, lucky, fated things...

I almost wish I was a liar right now with the things I just spilled to my loyally, encouraging friend.
Because there is no way the universe would be this cruel.

Finally I exhale and word *****,

"They're the only place that taste just like the ones at my grandmas' house every summer when I was a girl. I waited a long time to find that connection again, even if it is just coffee..."

The smirking face and broad shoulders that greet me aren't the cause of my temporary delirium.
Not even the wild hair and black rimmed glasses.

It's the sea green, haloed dusty blue eyes centering all the rest that shallow my breaths

Of all the places.....

Like a falling satin sheet his face morphs into a query riddled expression.

I hear the barista call out a name and he reluctantly steps away, never taking his eyes off mine whispering,

"I'll...be right back. Don't move...please?"

I'm nodding like an awkward parrot and he turns to grab his imitation coffee.
The same kind I'm waiting on.
And I start smiling after a second.

Not because of the similar drink order, which could be anyone...

But because of something I haven't known until this moment for over fourteen years.
All thanks to fate, or destiny...
Or perhaps the oblivious barista.

His last name...


*© NDHK

You tell me that I am young
That life has merely licked me, not stung
That I do not understand, that I have not yet lived
Enough to grasp the substance

I have known disease
Slow tears, muted pleas
Pain that nothing could appease
I have known the smell of hospitals for summers
The beeping and slurping of machine in massive numbers

I have spoken to voiceless loved ones,
Loved ones with teethless mouths and twisted tongues
Distorted jaws and wheezing lungs.
We have spoken with little green charts
And broken hearts
From the inability to connect the mouth to the thoughts in the head
And I left without understanding,
What they had said
Because I eventually had to let it go
(I still don't know)

I have spent countless summer nights
In nature’s garb, floating silently in a river
So warm that my limbs, skimming the surface, didn't shiver
Under a clear sky, the stars like paradisiac lights
Without anyone ever finding out
About these wild and primal escapades

I've drank, I've smoked
I have burned my throat
With coarse lemon gin
Until I could no longer feel my skin.

I have been frightened
Yes I have felt fear, like a noose around my throat being tightened
Like a gruesome black crow, perched on my shoulder
I have often awoken affright at night,
Longing, praying, for the morning light
I have felt fear, wild, fierce and turbulent fear
More than anyone will everyone will ever know
By men, by life, by myself
Desolate under the sheets, like a forsaken toy
All by myself

I have seen Paris in the rain
Traveled the French countryside by train
I've woken up to New York window views
And seen New Orleans afternoons, filled with heat and blues.
I've swam the Mexican Baja waters, turquoise and clear
With snakes as sharp as spears

I have known humiliation
Causing my cheeks to turn carnation
A spoon, emptying my insides out
Like a gourd

I have loved
I have known the aching pain of a swelled heart
And the way it can tear you apart
I have gushed torrents upon my pillows and sleeves
Tears running down my chin like guilty thieves
From a lit-up house

I have known death, and grief
The meaning of "never"
Whimpering in the school bathroom
And cold, lonely nights

I have seen the works of Van Gogh, Mondrian, and Miro,
Modigliani, Cezanne, and Frida Kahlo
Of Monet, Gauguin, Matisse, Magritte, and Picasso
I have wandered through hallways of masterpieces
Holding tight to my grandmother's hand
And I have wept shamelessly for joy
Before Degas's La classe de danse

I have been diagnosed
I have undergone computer programs designed to shift my brain, to better it
To get me to be normal, to submit
I have had brain-altering medicine shoved down my throat,
Like stuffing a goose,
To make my brain run a little less loose
And I have submitted and gotten use to my brain being altered.

I have had kisses that were mere trifles
Frivolous, yet fierce and acute like shots from a rifle
Lips of mere flesh, not sweet godly nectar
And gazes that meant everything
That seemed to connect with an invisible yet indestructible string
Iris like distant galaxies and pupils twinkling like black jewels
Eyes that seemed enkindled by some ethereal fuel
Speaking of emotions far too secluded, cryptic and cluttered
To be worded and uttered

I know the way in which violence resides
Not in commotion, brusqueness, nor physical harm
But in silence
In the time that covers pain and secrets
In the slow impossibility of trust
In the way that some secrets become inconceivable to tell, time has so covered them in rust
In that dull, dismal ache
In all that is doomed to remain forever opaque.

I have read, for pleasure,
The works of Balzac, Fitzgerald, Steinbeck, and Voltaire
Of Bobin, Gaude, and Baudelaire
Of Flaubert, Hemingway
and good old Bradbury, Ray
Émile Zola,  Primo Levi
Moliere, Rousseau, and Bukowski
I have read, and loved, and understood

I have known insomnia
The way a beach knows the tides
Sleepless nights of convulsive, feverish panic, of clutching my sides,
Of silent hysteria and salty terror.
I know what happens at night, when sweet slumber seems so far away
The worries and woes seem to multiply and swell in hopeless disarray
My lips grow pale, my eye grow sunken
As a time ticks by, tomorrow darkens




I have witnessed horror
In the form of a blue body bag
Being rolled out with a squeaking drag
By two yellow-vested men
With apologetic eyes
That seemed to say "Oh god
We're so sorry you had to see that
Please, please
Go home
And try to forget"

But you are right
I am still just a child
Naive, innocent, and pure
I have known nothing dark or obscure
I have not yet lived.

MORNING HAS BROKEN
The men, in lines, ***** two by two,
forgetting all the women who
indulged them through a night of tricks
(their lips designed with crimson sticks,
their eyes a wild mascara mix)

and think instead on times ahead
when they’ll be gone, their bodies dead
(some rotting slow’, some mummified)
though once they were their mummy’s pride.

Attired bright in uniforms,
they strew their bombs in desert storms -
like melting sands, the sky deforms
with darkness, death - and doomsday swarms
through ravished lands where fires warm
the corpses, cold and puriform.

Their eyes flash forward towards the backs
of lucky ones who have the knack
of never being in the way
of bursts of bullets as they stray
(effacing phantoms faraway)
and dodging doom’s Redemption Day.

They’re wishing for a foggy morn
or best of all to be unborn,
and peering down to mark the sway
of wings in webs while spiders prey,

they wonder when their time will come
and they can cease their fleeing from
the sights they’ve seen, the deeds they’ve done,
the life they’ve lost, the death they’ve won,

then muse a while upon the child
they killed today when they went wild,
and when they’re finally reconciled
with broken bodies stacked and piled,

they ponder, does she have a kin
to curse them for their burning sin?

And if she does, will god reply
with tooth for tooth and eye for eye?

Or will her clan be mild and meek
and simply turn the other cheek?

2. MIDDAY MUSINGS
They’re counting steps to pass the time
and puzzle if they’ll reach their prime
or if instead they’ll serve the worm
their carnal flesh and aching *****

when soon, perhaps, they sleep in berth
provided by the chilling earth,
and fret about the fate they’ll find
below the stones that slowly grind.

And once or twice will come to mind
a sultry smile they left behind
(the distant past - a tepid trace –
another time, another place),
reflected in the gray grimace
that paints a frightened fading face.

And on they trek through guilt and gloom
to track their own and others' doom
and soon they’ll  grace another pool
with blood of other beings who’ll

inhale no more the evening airs,
unlike the wily Functionaires
who brutalize the fighting men
and send them far away and then

(relaxed, unwound, with victories made)
confer with sword an accolade
on those who’ve lopped bowed heads, with blade,
so someone bent must turn a *****

to hack a hole which then is filled
with all the cloven bodies killed
then cloaked with clay or loamy dirt,
as if to hide the pain and hurt.

3. TEATIME INTROSPECTION
Amongst the many are the few
who maim and **** and think it’s true
that purple war’s a parlour game
when really they’re submerged in shame
for crimes for which they are to blame
and can’t expunge with searing flame

while plodding through an endless time,
or pealing bells with holy chime,
or posing in a paradigm
where paradox and riddle rhyme.

And when they die (as die they must),
forevermore their putrid dust,
still soaked with gore and carmine lust,
will conjure thoughts of cold disgust.

And even though torrential rain
(which tastes at times like cool champagne)
can wash away the scarlet stain
which soaks the sands of god’s terrain,

it cannot ever cleanse the hands
that work the guns and burning brands,
or purge the throats that give commands
to him who never understands.

Nor can the raging hurricane
from blackened souls the white regain,
rescind the sins or void the banes
or loose the ****** from Satan’s chains
who line the pits of hell’s domains.

4. EVENING REFLECTIONS
When through the day to night they pass,
their eyes avoid the looking glass
displaying dim a pale phantasm
plunging deeper down a chasm,
surging through a blood ******,
smiling thin unveiled sarcasm

for the chances lost to taste
the many fruits that went to waste
when each was still a joyous lad,
who went to school and learned to add
and danced in rivers, barefoot clad,

attended church with mom and dad
(which tends the poor and cheers the sad),
to pray for good and curse the bad,
before, in war insanely mad,
he fought the fight (no Galahad)

by flinging flames and slashing throats,
immersing bods in  midnight moats
between the broken battered boats
where babes and booted bodies float,

and leaving bags of bones to bloat
in bullet-ridden overcoats,
and wondered if the goblins gloat
or spot (behind his eyes, the motes),

then strode away without a thought
that mortal lives had come to naught,
sedated by his conscience brought
to nothing more than dripping snot,
while Others sit upon a yacht
and pluck the eyes of fish They’ve caught,

for, when they die, fish seem to see
The Ones behind the tyranny
(with bellies round from gluttony)
in future dangling from a tree
(with leaves as black as ebony),
for that’s, They fear, Their destiny.

5. MIDNIGHT DREAMS**
At night the soldiers sometimes dream
of many things which make them scream,
like
                      floating down a gelid stream
             with burning flesh and cold ice cream
             upon their lips, which makes it seem
             as though their salt they can’t redeem
             when looking back at bold extremes
             of valiant warriors’ victory schemes.

Or ofter yet,
                      they sometimes meet
             a broken skull upon the street
             with gaping eyes, its mouth replete
             with swollen tongue that can’t repeat
             mere words of joy when lovers greet,
             or yell aloud or indiscreet’,

             or talk about the grand deceit
             of Those Who live on Easy Street,
             Who plot, destroy and overeat,
             while others bide beneath a sheet
             on bed of steely cold concrete,

             with final gift a flag or wreath
             that soon will wither like their teeth
             when once they’re settled underneath
             a mound of muck on mouldy heath,
             to lurk in Limbo Land beneath.

And ever more before they wake,
appear quaint dreams not quite opaque,  
like
                      upside down upon a lake
             keeps popping up a pregnant Drake
             who says “there must be some mistake,
             I only have a bellyache”,
             while high above’s a flying Snake,
             (a sight to make a killer quake).

             She cries aloud “for mercy’s sake
             your foresight’s blind, your wisdom’s fake
             the fragile bodies that you break,
             impale or burn upon a stake,
             then stack in layers like a cake,
             reflect a lust that death can’t slake”.

             And turquoise Turtles on the make
             (though taking time to overtake,
             each slurping down a chocolate shake)
             rev up to plead “let us explain,
             we think you men are all insane
            with morals thin as cellophane;

             for, peering through god’s window pane,
             we see quite clearly those you’ve slain,
             enough to fill the Dim Domain
             with blood and guts and tears and pain,
             Chimeras of a frenzied brain.”

             A worn and weary weather vane
             announces floods of claret rain
             that forty days and nights sustain,
             submerging mountains, raising Cain,
             while flushing mankind’s acid reign
             down nature’s evolution drain.

             The Serpent hails a hydroplane
             “because”, she hissed, “we can’t remain;
             behind the hill, the atom’s spark
             has vaporized the palace park,
             reduced to dust the Meadowlark
             and nullified the Rainbow’s arc”.

             And while the others hush and hark,
             a feline Toad begins to bark
             “This plane is certainly Boa’s Ark.

             Let’s flee the Human hierarch,
             forsake all Men to sate the Shark
             which swim within the Waters Dark,
             and purge all traces of the Mark
             in Eden when we disembark.”

             The beasts, in lines, by twos embark.

The dreamers wake, they’re staring, stark,
behind their eyes, a watermark.

Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

eating the sludgy contents
of your beautiful mind's conscience
and dreaming in your thoughts
while choking on blood clots
slurping up tangled tendons
drowning in remembrance
tales of your history
have now become a meal for me
digested in your calculations
I am finally free of my frustration.

I simply cannot focus on my work
as all these animals have gone berserk!
Philippa, my darling girl, fill me in,
who on earth is making that awful din?

There’s an aardvark having a bath,
   and a chameleon rolling dice,
an eagle searching in the freezer
   and a goose hiding in the hedge,
an iguana eating our jam
   and a koala juggling our lemons,
a marmoset slurping noodles
   and an octopus carrying paint pots,
a quail wearing a ring
   and a squirrel making the tea,
a unicorn using the vacuum cleaner
   and a walrus playing the xylophone,

and finally Philippa, finally my girl,
   a yak fidgeting with a zip!

Where did they come from? I really don’t know,
but very soon they will just have to go!
I’ve had enough now of this awful din,
thank you Philippa for filling me in!

My name is Young Slug
and I write hip hop songs.
The lyrics sound as clear
as a lady slurping dongs.

Martin Luther King once told me
that my mother was a ****.
So I whipped out a baseball bat,
and ****** him in the ****.

I think he liked it too much,
cause he was moaning "colonel sanders,
stick it in my ***... and make me dry like the flanders."

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

Coffee and tea at the cafe of Christ
The Bible for breakfast
Slurping stories from ***** and Samuel
To Ezekial and Ezra.
Start your day the holy way with Christ chex.
Ahh. The breakfast of champions

you spread me like strawberry jam,
licking syrupy wrists and chewing on pips.
i will thaw leisurely, until my skin has saturated through
your insanity.
open me like a mango,
slurping, drops of juice upon blemishes,
sprinkling candy through open wounds.
bite through me, an apple hard and
mouth watering.
the pits of me will fall, searching for fertile soil,
and grow.grow.grow.

She tastes her tongue
-stuttering, spluttering-
and recoils -bitterness
and bile- slobber down
the side of the chin,
spitting it out.

She tapes her tongue
to the front of her
teeth -so that it
does not touch her
uttering buds going
down-

Slurping loudly
the syrupy silence
and its sounds
her thirst grows
to frenzy

Sacrificial  
blood offering
-trembling-
to the ancients
within her

What happens
_ to space_
between us
This is the
human race
Ah, Vey?
Just pray

Overly smitten
But not seeing
  clearly picture-prey
He or she runs!!
Little darlings
here comes the sun

The lime doing the time
Falling trees of coconut
Feeling- overloved
Deviant artist
splat coconut milk

No Security Cat
comfort box
So out of recession
Killer fox__

Chocolatey coconut
Cleanse my mind detox
Almond Joy concession
Rise up Face Botox

He cannot
read you
Haywire always
wired up his words
Hurried Hazelnut
coffee if you mind
Over-sugared
Increased brain
functions bitter rinds
So commercialized
The Cocoa Puffs
Going bananas
monkey ***
Lexie Vamp Vex

Mr. Ed overload
of Oz colors baboon
Going up Air Balloon
So many airheads
The  Rainforest
GQ  he's gone IQ
((Quarterly Neck of the woods))
Not orderly Outback
Steakhouse
Dinosaurs
******
Vicarious

No shortcut
The nervous system
The fast have a drink
furious
Cracking a coconut
Her Safe__*
6-6-6 combinations
Could crack her
Coconut oil neck her
City Girl call her

Intellectual brain
Singing
Gene Kelly
umbrella
Raining coconuts

(On Overload)
Strawberry Fields
This will be short
Yeah right forever
shortcake, not any sort

The trend of
coconut
Nearer because
of you I am
further
She was the
Brazilian Nut
With her
blind gut

((Coconut Houdini))
Island of Bali
Beauty of Judy
Somewhere so over it
rainbow

King Kong
Hairy chest banging
coconut drink slurping
Of girl talk
Strong New Jersey
Stamina


***** of Venezuela
Overload of
Prima, Donna's
Instant Karma
going to get them
Knocked them off
there feet
Where is my
John Lennon
He has the best beat

Bullet-wrapped words
Spill from dangerous mouths,
nonchalantly slurping rumors
from fragile adolescence.
A golden-plated intention
wears a mask of gentle feathers,
but becomes warped with ignorance
and indirect self hatred.
Careless and trivial,
the public twists reality
into sweet butter braids,
melting into an oily confusion
that only small children dare to question.
It is I who asks for something more
and aimlessly wanders varying distance
for reasons unknown,
and I float on words of people
I’ve never heard of,  
and follow their fingers as they
carry and steal innocent piano keys,
as if they could truly open locked doors.
Though attempted and failed,
the insignificant longing
trails behind a broken consciousness,
wriggling between the wrinkles of time
and crevasses of awful brain matter,
allowing this to never begin,
never continue,
and never end.

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

Number 7 in the ORLOK series and one of the best*

O how I relish the taste of blood
****** out from the devastated jugular
But there is more, much more
When the victim is a nubile ****
From a Transylvanian village
Where ****** morality
Is quite ******* thin on the ground;
And that is how I met my fate.

'Twas on an October eve
When I met plump Esmeralda
And (having fed my fill from her neck
as she slept in her hut
under filthy rags stinking of stale *****),
I sank my fangs into her naked belly
Ripping into her bloated guts
With my accustomed gusto;
My tongue slurping its way
Over her twitching ****;
And finally I descended joyously
To her odorous *****-encrusted *****
For the last rites,
Before the final curtain
To her worthless life of peasantry.

But then, as my excitement mounted,
And just as I was on the verge
Of pumping out my vampiric *******,
I felt an agonising, mind-blasting pain
As a major stroke swept through me,
Wrecking my synapses big time,
Turning my brain into guacamole.
And now I am a crippled ******,
Just a spasticated old vampire
In my second-hand rusting wheelchair,
Courtesy of Romanian Social Services,
Drooling helplessly
Into my swollen pissy crotch,
Waiting for another enema,
My sole remaining pleasure
And a stimulus to my jaded prostate.

But, hurrah! hurrah! new hope arrives:
A miracle occurs as I read of
The new wonder pill from SuperDrug
Available only in private practise
And guaranteed to rejuvenate the jaded
Or your money back, no worries.
Orlok will fly again to pursue
The pleasures of the flesh
And especially the botty-zone.

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

Getting involved with the impurities
of ****** abuse; He has the symptoms
enumerated in the company
setting, the symptoms of a sexually
transmitted disease referred to
as soccer executing sick calumnies;
Other ****** activity that does foxy
at least sensors; The boy, lest you go
away no matter how small the red holes
In what must be because so long
as you stand in HD,
HD is to the words;
This is your grandson's grandchild
living in Japan since they do not care;
wherein; Layla 1 found in London,
saying Gulf Road, she went to the Health
Center Area marker in young children
Surgeons,   Helga's profit, but to them;
and they shall not find
The names of the girls?

And there was the one they build;
which learned, But the need;
for 53 is the same; The feline, If both
yellow and green,The flowers
make them sick;   And what choice
Optional option is too complicated,
six It is easy to walk spare parts
3-Mixed; Until clean water; White House:
The condition can not be good
When we have waited for the judge
to graduate St. John High School
in English; These words were
the mistakes the people of Allah make,
the cause of women,Taking the young men
and the children who are available
for those persons; the examples
of the examples of samples to the 42;

Get involved in ****** misconduct
****** abuse; Symptoms
is listed, you have gone to society
symptoms referred to as sexually
transmitted diseases carry out illnesses,
abuse, abuse, ill; ****** foxy Salome,
which brings it at least to the sensors;
Boy Do not Go Out as small as red;
The holes, which are suitable stand
as long as HD, HD word; This is yours
grandchild, in Japan not caring which;
Layla found me in London, saying;
Gulf Road, Health Center is set
in area Children are too young for titles,
Helga's title is useful for them and we find it;
but the sacred names of girls?

He built the ground; in which we learned;
but, lack of; 53 The same;    The feline,
If you bear witness; yellow and green,
the flowers make her sick; as an option
optional option, it is very complicated;
Six spare parts; It's easy to walk In this
3-female; Unfortunately,     pure water,
White House;        The good condition
is impossible when you look it for fun;
Judge from high school St. John
is English;    These are the men called
mistakes of the people;   floor, ground
for women,          young men and boys
who are available for them as samples
of samples, samples at 42;

for kids, conversations online
of evening evening with white people,
blogs, blogs; There are players
with depression;  Here's a fool
and Miss India from the Indus,
Many; Black black black Manuela,
All *** is necessary to be saved;
Join the six;   Six levels of the Chaldean
identity, our work and our opportunities
are important to the head; It's the same
as with the bridegroom; it makes red red,
brown slurping deep plate; Six days
for a baby to learn? Within 3 or 4 minutes
of wickedness, men lust after foolishness;
Including the fire of their wounds
with an attempt to delete what you lost

or kids' online conversations,
White and evening and night
newspapers, blogs; there
are players with depression;
This is a fool's Music and India
from Indian big youth, valleys;
Black black black; As for all the ***
and health of many important things;
The two had six degrees
Identity of deserting, our job
and our opportunities are
Of the great importance to the head
of the same as the bridegroom,
Red is red; Slurping the deep things
brown brown; In six children
to learn? In 3 or 4 minutes
when they understand what is fool
for the heart, the desire of the man
from the House with damaged wounds deleted by admin

The steamship was caught in hellish breakers and about to ground ashore. The storm not noticed until it enveloped the craft in tossing gales of ripping rains and tearing lighting. The pirates had been stranded so long Lizzie had given birth. It wasn’t Quick’s, as the twins had red hair and the lone redhead among the crew was first mate Lance; no one paying any mind, she and Lance openly cuckolding the irascible Captain, who had other matters on his mind. He’d lost Bonny whom he’d paid good money for. In his mind the ***** was a runaway slave and that would only up the price. A feisty strong-willed slave was well worth the pursuit. The missionaries making it ashore on a raft of lifeboats genteelly disembarked at the shore’s edge. Captain Quick getting to his feet raising his pistol and forewarning the others.
“Ay! Looks like we’ve got company, laddies,” he said. “Pilgrims.”
Esmeralda had also given birth; to Remy’s child, the mad genius coming from his much expanded hovel; he and the pirates making a culture for themselves using shells for currency and as ornaments. “Ay what is it, Quick?”
The silent pilgrims drew closer. Quick held his pistol to ready. “They be ghosts I say.”
The tallest vampyr approached them. His lips dry and white speaking without moving. “We seek the Oracle.”
“I’ve got your oracle,” snapped Quick and fired.
The male pilgrims drawing pistols fired on the pirates who jumped to their feet pistol and sword at the go. Ball shot and blood broke out across the beach. Remy at the mercy of the Nosferatu's claws until Quick put a bullet through the vampyr’s head. Remy dashing back into his hovel turned a mushroom cap that emitted sympathetic mists of spores from the overhanging tendrils; microscopic creatures eating into the vampyr’s sandy flesh. The pirates continuing to flail on the withering pilgrims, firing useless ***** until the Nosferatu men were collectively defeated leaving only the female undead standing.
“Alright, you lassies, line up over here,” commanded Captain Quick, “And get those clothes off! Remy! Ya got those irons made of claws?”
“Yes, I have them right here,” said the genius coming from his home carrying an armful of unbreakable restraints.
“Fasten ‘em together. These wenches’ll be fetchin’ a good price. Dare say they ain’t virgins. Godforsaken Puritans they be,” said Quick and spit. “I said get them black rags off!” he raged but the women didn’t move their stiff arms from at their sides. “Okay, boys, have at ‘em!” he shouted and all at once the pirates pounced.
Tearing the austere garments off the backs of the demuring pilgrim women the pirates groped and fondled the wan figures with brusque brutality, pushing them to ground and forcibly parting their rigid limbs. Taking turns ****** every woman old, young and in between, the pirates found themselves growing sick, their skins blanching green and purple.
The blonde child much older than her appearance took one bearded scurv and bit deep into his jugular slurping up the profuse red liquid. Each woman never making a sound taking firm hold of the seafaring hoodlum atop of them, writhing in serpentine gyrations the pirates mistook for arousal, grinding the brittle hips and ******* the pus laden lips; the women’s bones breaking apart due to decomposition all the same sinking their fangs into the lustful wild men; blood spewing in every direction over the white sand.
Now it was the pirates that were vampyrs with only Quick, Remy, Lance, Lizzie and Esmeralda and their three children mortal. Quick, seeing the advantages of an undead crew set about thinking how best to use them.

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

Mmmmmm......Good Morning Honey.........

Delightedly awakened by your lingual dexterity
Opening your mouth to engulf its fullness
******* and slurping, hastening its juices
From escaping and running down your chin.

Its tangy nectar making your fingers slick and sticky
A tighter grip you employ when it slips within your grasp
The sound you're making is so ******, the fullness of your lips, so enticing, .....so....so
Ah....ah............ahhh..........................a­ahhhhhh!!!­

I do so love it when you eat sweet peaches in the morning!

Fancy a napkin?

-----ChawzzyScript

I think if I should be more aware
Of the peeling of a banana,
And all its slightly muffled, sticky sounds
I could call it music, and
Become, myself, a profound cataloger of all things   noise.
For words are only structured noises,
We mold like clay. Well, why don’t we simply reign in
The noises that are already out there?
We’ll learn the nuances of a peeling banana,
Call them words: it is a banana saying, I’m peeling.
We’ll call them poems, call them song.

The sound of a cardboard coffee cup, for instance,
Gently returned to a desk after sipping
Multiplied by a classroom of
Caffeinated percussionists would be
Aptly called an avant-guard symphony! And I perhaps,
A modern-day maestro, conductor at the front of the room
Flapping my arms to the beat, up, down! Up-down! –Only pausing
To write down the tum-tum-tum, furiously capturing this rhythm
On paper for future readers to come.

But I fear, it is in this act of writing it down, that
The banana forgets how it sounds,
Or I forget to sound the banana, and
It all starts to become a sort of cacophonous din of
Slurping children, left by the wayside by the
Education system and adopted by Starbucks,
Who doesn’t serve this sort of poem.

So we must market this to the young folks;
It will be a movement of ultimate vintage-chic,
(Recalling the days of our wordless hairy brethren,
Who could only rely on grunts and noise)
                       To imagine Man without clothing is possible,
                       But Man without poetry is simply absurd.

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

The rapping and tapping,
the hitting and slapping,
sipping and slurping,

The munching and crunching,
the snacking and slacking,
hunching in a darkened room,

Facebook steals your youth.

We visited an art museum today
“The Guggenheim” with it’s white spiraling architecture
I felt slightly cultured as I flipped through a book detailing an artist whose last name I vaguely recall started with a Q
Conveniently forgetting the very reason for my presence in that room being to charge my phone
Feeling educated as I recognize the names Matisse, Lautrec from my brief intro to art history courtesy of our overly enthusiastic design teacher
Basking in my elegance, taking petit little bites, of a macaroon in a cafe outside the museum
...Before noisily slurping my blood red ice tea

Okay.

You used to be a *****.

Now don’t get self conscious. We all used to be *****. Check out the period at the end of this sentence. That tiny little dot is around 600 microns wide. When you were a ***** you were about 40 microns wide. And you were so cute back then too with your little tail wagging all over the place and your love of swimming. Boy could you swim. In fact if you hadn’t outswum your siblings, you might be a slightly different version of yourself right now. Maybe you’d have a higher-pitched laugh, hairier arms, or stand two inches shorter.

You had a great life as a ***** but always felt incomplete. The truth is you weren’t whole until you met an egg. And then you two began a nine month project to make a cool new version of you. It took a while but you grew arms and legs and eyeballs and lungs. You grew nerves and nails and eardrums and tongues.

For a ***** to meet an egg it means your mom met your dad. But it’s not just them. Think about how many people had to meet, fall in love, and make love for you to be here.

Here’s the answer: A lot. Like a lot a lot.

Before they had you, none of your ancestors drowned in a pond, got strangled by a python, or skied into a tree. None of your ancestors choked on a peach pit, were trampled by buffalo, or got their tie stuck in an assembly line.

None of your ancestors was a ******.

You are the most modern, brightest spark of years and years and years of survivors who all had to meet each other in order to eventually make you.

Your nineteenth century Grandma met your nineteenth century Grandpa down at the candle-making shoppe. She liked his muttonchops and he thought she looked cute churning butter.

Your Middle Ages Grandpa met your Middle Ages Grandma while they both poured hot oil from the castle turrets on pillaging vikings. She liked his grunts and he thought the flowers in her hair made her heaving bosoms jump out.
Your Ice Age Grandpa crossing the Bering Bridge in a woolly mammoth fur met your Ice Age Grandma dragging a club in the opposite direction. He liked her saber-tooth necklace and she dug his unibrow.

Your ancient rainforest Grandpa was picking berries naked in the bush while your ancient rainforest Grandma was spearing dodos for dinner. She liked his jungle funk and he liked her cave drawings. If it wasn’t for the picnic they had afterwards, maybe you wouldn’t be here.

You’re pretty lucky all those people met, fell in love, made love, had babies, and raised them into other people who did it all over again. This happened over and over and over again for you to be here. Look around the plane, coffee shop, or park right now. Look at your husband snoring in bed, your girlfriend watching TV, or your sister playing in the backyard. You are surrounded by lucky people. They are all the result of long lines of survivors.

So you’re a survivor, too. You’re the latest and greatest. You’re the top of the line. You’re the very best nature has to offer.

But a lot had to happen before all your strong, fiery ancestors met each other and fell in love over and over again for hundreds of thousands of years …

So let’s stop for a second and pull back again. Let’s pull way, way, way, way back.

Okay.

Let’s go on a field trip. Put your shoes on because we’re heading outside.

Take a bowling ball and drop it on the edge of your driveway. That’s our Sun. Yeah, the ball is only eight inches across and the actual Sun is eight hundred thousand miles across but that’s our scale for this little brainwave. Okay, now walk down your street ten big paces and drop a grain of salt on your neighbor’s lawn. That’s Mercury. Take nine more paces down the street and drop a peppercorn for Venus. And then take another seven paces, so you’re now two or three houses down the block, and toss down another peppercorn.

You got it.

That peppercorn is Earth.

Here we are, basking in the blazing sun, twenty-six big steps away from the bowling ball. Our giant planet is just a tiny speck in the middle of nowhere but here’s the crazy part: It gets a whole lot bigger.

If you keep walking, Mars is only couple more houses away, but Jupiter ends up ninety-five big paces down the street, out of the neighborhood, and halfway to the corner store. By now a dog is probably slobbering in the bowling ball finger holes and kids are flying by you on their bikes, slurping drippy popsicles, and wondering what’s up with this nut tossing crumbs on the sidewalk, acting out some demented suburban version of Hansel and Gretel.

If you want to finish up our solar system, you’re going to have to start taking two- and three-hundred paces for the remaining planets, eventually dropping a grain of salt for Pluto half a mile away from the bowling ball. You can’t see the bowling ball with binoculars and it’s getting cold out for your long walk home.

But here’s the crazier part: That’s just our solar system. That’s just our bunch of rocks flying around our big bright bowling ball star.

Turns out our big bright star and all its salt and peppercorns are racing around a cosmic race track with two hundred billion other big bright bowling ball stars. You’d have to cover the entire Earth with bowling ***** eight thousand times to represent the number of stars in our race track. Did we mention this race track has a name? Yup, it’s called the Milky Way galaxy, presumably because the scientists who first noticed it were all eating delicious Milky Way candy bars late that Friday night down at the telescopes.

So basically our bowling ball, salt, and peppercorns are flying in the fast lane around a ridiculously giant race track galaxy called the Milky Way with billions and billions of other bowling *****, salt grains, and peppercorns, too.

But are you ready for the craziest part: That’s just our galaxy. Guess how many giant racetrack galaxies are in all of outer space? Oh, not many. Just more than we can possibly count. Honestly, nobody knows how many galaxies are out there in the big blackness. All we know is that every few years somebody stares out a little further and finds millions more of them just shining way out in the void. We don’t know how deep it goes because our rocket ships don’t blast off that far and our thickest, fattest telescopes can’t see that far.

Now, all this space talk might make us feel small and insignificant, but here’s the thing, here’s the big thing, here’s the biggest thing of all: Of the millions of places we’ve ever seen it appears as though Earth is the only place that can support life. The only place! Oh sure, there could be other life-giving planets we haven’t seen yet, but the point is that Earth could easily have been a clump of sulphur gas, be lying in darkness forever, or have a winter that dips a couple hundred degrees and lasts twenty years like Uranus.

On this planet Earth, the only one in the giant dark blackness where anything can live, we ended up being humans.

Congratulations, us!

We are the only species on the only life-giving rock capable of love and magic, architecture and agriculture, jewellery and democracy, aeroplanes and highway lanes. We’re the only ones with interior design and horoscope signs, fashion magazines and house party scenes, horror flicks with monsters, guitar jams at concerts. We got books, buffets and radio waves, wedding brides and roller coaster rides, clean sheets and good movie seats, bakery air and rain hair, bubble wrap and illegal naps.

We got all that. But people, listen up.

We only get a hundred years to enjoy it.

I’m sorry but it’s true.

Every single person you know will be dead in a hundred years — the foreman at your plant, the cashiers at your grocery store, every teacher you’ve ever had, anyone you’ve ever woken up beside, all the kids on your street, every baby you’ve ever held, every bride who’s walked down the aisle, every telemarketer who’s called you at dinner, every politician in every country, every actor in every movie, everyone who’s cut you off on the highway, everyone in the room you’re sitting in right now, everyone you love, and you.

Life is so great that we only get a tiny moment to enjoy everything we see. And that moment is right now. And that moment is counting down. And that moment is always, always fleeting.

You will never be as young as you are right now.

So whether you’re enjoying your first toothpicked turkey cold cuts and marveling at apples from South Africa, dreaming of strange and distant relatives from thousands of years ago, or staring into the blackness of deep, deep space, just remember how lucky we all are to be here right now.

If you feel that sense of wonder and beauty in all the tiny joys in life then you’re part of an international band of old souls and optimists, smiling on sidewalks, dancing at weddings, and flipping to the other side of the pillow. Let’s all high five and keep thinking wild thoughts, dreaming big dreams, and laughing loud laughs.

Thank you so much for reading this.

And thank you for being

AWESOME!

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

Crunching crispy cornflakes
Gangs of pebbles bubble

White water slurping
Its early morning edges

As waves deliciously lick
their sweet vanilla sands

Man bobbing in a canoe
Ocean swinging him like a baby boy

A  bouncing ball stretches
Across the waters view

Like a picture on the wall
For a moment time stand still

The scenery seems so surreal
like plastic or cardboard

Adding a friendly familiarity
Making me so sentimental

About
a place

I LOVE

Called Home

I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke

It’s Harvard VS Yale this weekend, the vibes are just starting now. Everyone - and I mean everyone - has been asking about my game tickets, because guest tickets are $25 a pop. I’m more interested in the parties than the game, so I donated mine (Students get 1 free ticket and they can buy 2 for $15 each) to Lisa (one of my suitemates) for her family.

Lisa, Leong, Anna and I are getting ready to go down to the dining hall. Lisa asks the room, “Harry Styles’ new buzzcut - Yes, or No?”
“No,” Leong said, not looking up from her teen fashion magazine.
“Oh, no - God no,” I answered, “The worst decision of 2023.”
Anna blows a raspberry, “I think he’s trying to ditch his ‘pretty boy’ image and go hard rock.”
Lisa followed up, “And?..” “And NO, disaster NO, jump the shark NO,” Anna answered.
“I’m a NO also” Lisa admitted, and she’s a h-core Styles fan.

Later, Lisa was reclining on my bed, using every pillow I own to turn it into a chaise lounge that wouldn’t wrinkle her outfit. Her heels were on the floor and her bare feet were dangling in the air. Her toenails were a French tipped twinkly-pink.

She was slurping on a Coke-Zero - again - for a much-needed kick of caffeine before the night's events - which made me feel guilty, because she picked that up when I took her to Paris last summer. I’ve told her (a million times) how bad it is for her metabolism and endocrine system.
“How could you do this to me?” I asked, as if exasperated - which is currently our in-joke for everything.
“Now-now-now now-now,” she says, in self-defense, “what SHOULD I be drinking then?”
“H2-oh,” I say. “H20, as in water,” she sort of inquired, she then asked, “What’s the ‘2’ stand for?”
“Twenty,” I think, snarking back.
“Oh, you fancy, huh?” she laughed.
“I’m in college.” I shruggingly bragged.

I was shuffling through my closet, trying to pick out an outfit that would, at least, look ‘ok’ next to Lisa’s ‘in your face’ fun mix of pinks and purples sprinkled with neon greens.
Barbie herself could never.
I doubted I could keep with the theme.

My secret to dressing for these endless ‘theme’ parties, is to just tune out the noise and focus on your feels. If you give too much weight to how others will judge you, it’ll ruin the moment. I ended up wearing a vintage, deep blue, Betsey Johnson dress with matching tights and black ballet flats. Glittery, smokey-eye makeup and messy curls completed the 'très bien ensemble'.

I looked in the mirror, hoping for glam, and shrugged, “the scene’s going to be moody-lit anyway,” I said, as an excuse to the universe.

“You’re going to ******-der-der,” Lisa pronounced, as we gathered our bags to leave. “******-der-der?” I chuckled.
“******-der-der,” she confirmed, as if it were obvious.

h-core = *******