"paxil" poems
The pharmacist is not your friend
He may put you up in a high hotel
With slip streams of ****** pills
Paxil and Wellbutrin
Designed to defeat depression
To facilitate a fog like
Fugues of perfected moods
With drugs made to create
The perfect drone state
So you can pay your bills
So you can **** and sleep well
So you can keep your health
But it is poison
Kidney killing swill
And while you are under the influence
Perfectly sedated so you forget how to feel
One hand is in your pocket
Thinning your wallet draining dollar bills
While the other hand holds your heart
Crushing what is left of your already weakened will
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 11:37 AM UTC
I'm often faced with the question
"why don't you just take medicine?"
Zoloft
Prozac
Lexapro
Paxil
do they take away the memories
or replace the words slipping through their mouths?
do they stop the fluttering of thoughts racing around my tired brain?
do those tiny capsules create apologies or never said goodbyes?
do they stop my thoughts at the late hours of the night?
do the scars on my wrists magically disapear?
do they erase the images of every bad thing that's ever happened?
do they suddenly make me good enough for everyone I wasn't?
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 12:56 AM UTC
Paxil to make you happy
**** to make you high
Nyquil to make you sleep
Energy shots to make you active
I’m told to feel a certain way
Suddenly heartbreak doesn’t feel sad
And tears don’t feel salty anymore
Love doesn’t feel good at all
And pain is something I can’t feel
A drug filled world is where I live.
Prozac to make you glad
Mary Jane to make you rad
Atarax to make you tired
Dayquil to make you work
Living life sounds make believe
A drug filled world I where I live
Zoloft to make you smile
Mushrooms to make you fly
Tylenol to make you weak
Aleve to make you strong
I’m losing my mind
My heart seems to have stopped
And my mind can’t control me anymore
A drug filled world is where I live.
Mar 12, 2012
Mar 12, 2012 at 9:50 PM UTC
It is the end. I feel the fingers ****** my skin. Tight and itching, I tear the stitching, undoing years of anguish. Stuffing, full and fluffy, falls out red. Strangers stare, over there, unaware that the tare will expose me. I am ghostly, a ravished cloud, swirling in the troposphere. I am lonely wishing someone else was here. Lightening is my skin, searing, blinding, fierce, and then nothing. It hurts, a certain kind of liquid insanity, all red and furious. I would cry if I could remember how, but the paxil makes me an amnesiac. Not losing memories but forgetting how it felt to feel. My stuffing lay scattered a mad mess as if it never really mattered. I am a tiny teddy bear.
Someone screams, and I laugh. Smirking as if I am in on some joke they know nothing about. Stupid people rushing about. My arms become heavy, I am trapped. Still, I laugh because soon I will have beaten the trap. A sick black liquid is forced down my throat. I throw up charcoal, is my blood now charcoal?
Tiny, tiny strings, sing jingling, leave me laughing. I won the race. I doubled down one razor blade and bottle of pills.
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 10:52 PM UTC
Capsule of Happy.
Dose of Okay-ness.
Build tolerance for the Bland.
Paxil
Mar 25, 2012
Mar 25, 2012 at 1:17 AM UTC
Paxil to make you happy
**** to make you high
Nyquil to make you sleep
Energy shots to make you active
I’m told to feel a certain way
Suddenly heartbreak doesn’t feel sad
And tears don’t feel salty anymore
Love doesn’t feel good at all
And pain is something I can’t feel
A drug filled world is where I live.
Prozac to make you glad
Mary Jane to make you rad
Atarax to make you tired
Dayquil to make you work
I’m fumbling in ecstasy
Living life sounds make believe
My reflection looks old and weary
An old soul has more zing than me
I can’t get pleasure even from me
A drug filled world I where I live
Zoloft to make you smile
Mushrooms to make you fly
Tylenol to make you weak
Aleve to make you strong
I’m losing my mind
There is no strength even in my finger tips
My legs search for a firm grip
My heart seems to have stopped
And my mind can’t control me anymore
A drug filled world is where I live
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 8:28 AM UTC
Lamictol
For my BPD,
From years of self-abuse and uncontrollable
Emotion.
Paxil
For anxiety
Because I was always told to be better
Even at my best.
Trazodone
Just to sleep
Because I keep myself awake
Thinking about how ****** up
Everything always was.
My life could be ruled by these three little names
Until I have no more breath
Because I can't even rule my emotions.
Jun 17, 2013
Jun 17, 2013 at 6:27 PM UTC
There are some things that science cannot explain
some things cannot be wrapped around the cerebrum
and as it unfolds
we see the earth is 13.8 billion years old.
Thrace down my 100,000 miles of blood before you tell me who I am or what I'm made of.
And although we can see
that Mercury is 799 degrees,
that doesn't help with all the physicistry.
My doctor asks me to stick out my tongue.
I ask if he can see all the pain choked in my throat,
he laughs as if I'm telling a joke,
I'm not.
And although we can produce a light
a million times brighter than the sun
we have problems saying words like please and thank you and love.
I tell my psychiatrist about the sadness that shakes all 206 of my bones
as my cerebellum pulses with ten billion neurons and flashbacks and blood cells and "Post Traumatic Symptom Disorder," because everything has to have a name in science.
So the doctor prescribes Zoloft, and Prozac, and Ability, and Paxil to numb the passion,
But she contradicts with the words,
"Life isn't supposed to make you feel good or bad,
for it is just supposed to make you feel."
Because when my hand is on my chest I feel something there,
A force pumping 100,000 miles of blood across my limbs
filled with broken iambic pentameters, and stars of lust, with music, and sleeping pills, and roses of wonder-
for there are just some things within me that science cannot explain.
And although it can explain my heart bleeding,
It can't define the meaning,
or prescribe what we are needing,
here were assigned ******* seating,
and the teacher explains my uneasy breathing,
but in my head i can't stop the screaming,
and the sciences seems to be fleeting
as they can't explain us meeting,
our minds and eyes so gleaming,
its just the feeling,
when even science can't tell if you're drowning or dreaming,
because these brain cells are fleeting
as there are just some things
science
cannot explain.
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 7:27 PM UTC
It is bliss,
the suffering.
Lamentations such as this
end up smothering.
The kid,
the Christ,
the *******
the confused.
The unimaginable gift
inside my head.
The knife I lift
will end you dead.
The blood,
the sorrow,
the ***
the end.
Jun 10, 2013
Jun 10, 2013 at 5:29 PM UTC
Cottony numbness
Envelops my lightning-bolt thoughts
Soothes me, insulates me
I can barely think
But at least I'm not getting
Struck by lightning
On a regular basis
Anymore
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 10:42 AM UTC
I had run out of it i'm out of it
mind you my mind that ran away
first by feet then by train
paxil was her name a rotundish
hard skinned pink pill of a ****
so sleeping a tossing flipping
dreaming dream i witnessed a mess
messing up a dream:
this slot of sliced land jutting
with clapboard housing a shouting
with roaches a toasting the best
of a meal they boasted
the strangest of stranglets in
a land of strangler piglets;
two step eddie backed up to a window
owned by a rider, says he with
back to a drive-thru widow, 'take
this shotgun, won't need it, take
this broad sword too, and take this
forty-four again won't need it,
i'll keep this grenade cause it
needs me more -- see that man there
, snagged my lawn cutting his own
, watch me walk over there.
Two-step walks over there and pulls
the pin and once again they do like
they do the owner of that window
was a copy-cop over 44 and says
to eddie, 'don't pull that pin you
sons of guns, sons of burning suns!"
Pin pulled, trigger pressed two slugs
in the valley of the deepest cracks
of two buns and all is done.
And the female dog under the oak
toking-tree says to her male friend,
'your banging will wake up the
recently dead if you don't stop
banging and start more slapping instead;
no-step eddie tells the devil he
needs to brush his tooth but forgot
his teeth brush under the bush.
Never cold turkey Paroxetine
and slip to sleep on a Monday.
:: 06-26-2018 ::
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 10:07 AM UTC
Paxil to make you happy
**** to make you high
Nyquil to make you sleep
Energy shots to make you active
I'm told to feel a certain way
Suddenly heartbreak doesn't feel sad
And tears don't feel salty anymore
Love doesn't feel good at all
And pain is something I can't feel
A drug filled world is where I live
Prozac to make you glad
Mary Jane to make you rad
Atarax to make you tired
Dayquil to make you work
I'm fumbling in ecstasy
Living life sounds make believe
My reflection looks old and weary
An old soul has more zing than me
I can't get pleasure even from me
A drug filled world I where I live
Zoloft to make you smile
Mushrooms to make you fly
Tylenol to make you weak
Aleve to make you strong
I'm losing my mind
There is no strength even in my finger tips
My legs search for a firm grip
My heart seems to have stopped
And my mind can't control me anymore
A drug filled world is where I live
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 2:23 PM UTC
The Bible has some interesting characters.
We can see in stanzas and rhymes
How they might have received some help
If they'd been living in modern times.
Lot, for example, had a drinking problem.
The man got drunk and slept with his daughter.
Actually with two! Advice to Lot:
Go to A.A. and stick with water.
An inferiority complex
Must have driven the angry Cain.
No matter what he did, he always
Seemed to incur God's disdain.
In searching for pairs of all animals on earth,
Noah's compulsion crossed the border
Of what today we would call
An obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
Saul had to be extremely bipolar.
Talk about mood swings! On different occasions
He tried to **** David, who luckily escaped
By the skin of his teeth and with no abrasions.
If someone--like Solomon--had seven hundred wives
And three hundred concubines, we'd tend to say
That he had a number of serious issues,
But we don't want to go there today.
Moses talked to a burning bush,
Samuel and Elijah heard voices that told them
What to do. Now we’d say they
Were schizophrenic if voices controlled them.
Harod was really into himself;
He had to be highly narcissistic.
When Paul was persecuting the Christians,
His behavior was rather sadistic.
Without A.A. or psychiatrists,
Or drugs like Prozac, Zoloft, thorazine,
****** Haldol, Abilify, Lithium,
Seroquel, Xanax, Paxil, and clozapine,
Our Biblical characters were on their own--
To fend for themselves to carry out their mission,
Without medical insurance and someone
To say, "Get thee to a physician!"
- by Bob B
Nov 5, 2016
Nov 5, 2016 at 8:26 AM UTC
Abilifuck
My soul was set inflamed
pinched nerves i thought i was dreaming
i took the neuropathy less travelled
this turned out to be bad
bipolar affective disorder BAD
But now (thanks doc)
I have the Abilify to do anything I want
I've made a Paxil to myself
to be as sane as I can be
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 2:44 PM UTC
It’s 5:22 and I still haven’t slept.
It’s not uncommon anymore and they say insomnia is a side effect of Paroxetin.
I call ********
Tomorrow I’ll be picking up a new prescription - things they feed me to make themselves feel better.
St John’s Wort.
They say its safer and more traditional, less side effects.
I’m just exhausted.
I think they’re just trying to get me talking again. I’ve stopped coming to the sessions and is it normal that I’ve felt better since?
Probably because they’ve upped the dosage of my Paxil.
Do they know that Paroxetine can overdose? 560 mg I heard can **** That’s 28 tablets.
I counted 13 in my bottle. That’s just about enough to get someone to hallucinate and *****
Useless.
I hear chirping outside my window.
It gets me smiling.
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 12:42 AM UTC
I take medication
Zoloft, Xanax. Paxil, Prozac, Prazocin. I consume them like water; the only thing keeping me alive. The only thing worth living for. The reason I can function the way I do.
I avoid.
I avoid Luke and Dawson (K.C.) Illinois and Green Bay. My mother's threats, and my fathers grasp against my neck. I avoid.
I have flashbacks.
I used to see him, her, and them in my sleep. Her being the evil stepmother. Him being my cousin and classmate. Alas, them being the bullies. I played it out, event by event, play by play.
I self medicate.
Marijuana and nicotine. Cutting and burning. I would to it until I became numb.
Lastly, I have "distorted blaming"
Only blaming myself. For not saying no. Or not grabbing the doorknob. Or only taking my anger out on my mom.
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 26, 2017 at 2:37 PM UTC