"ourselfs" poems
its unmistakable
not just another caravan of faces
not just another passing year
under a strange sky
iv reached the edge of the world
nothing but open sea to my back
as far as the mind can see
and i'm riding a west wind on a quickness breeze
on a middle of the night skiff
to the the small island
where she waits for me
where she sleeps tonight
the bold song gone soft an slow
the guarded smile relaxed into a champion of joy
and conquers all her sadness
with a single tilt at the windmills
like a knight in shining armor
nothing but deep sea
nothing but night salt and sea
and as i draw near
she sings from her soul to mine
come to me lover
laugh
yes cry out loud with all your joys
laugh pure and easy
i'm the mood for you boy
i'm in the mood for your hand in mine
dance in my heart
its a warm night in the tropics
and we got the world to ourselfs
so may i have this dance
spin
dip
ballroom of sand
laugh with me
run with me
we are free
all our lives people have tried to put us away
keep us down
now look at
dancing in the stars
look at us free and easy
dance with me baby
make love with me honey
on this ballroom of sand
laugh pure and true
with simple joy
here by salt and sea
be young with me
tonight on this ballroom of sand
come home to me
warm me with your touch
comfort me with your eyes
iv waited so long come home to me
nothing but open sea at my back
and i feel so alive
i feel so free
and my lover is near iv never been so alive
running a western quickness breeze
on a skiff heading home
to her
jezebel
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 6:00 AM UTC
The time has come, for me to fray
the long lost fortune peace and joy
and i peep all around to see a ray
to give me hope and stop to cry
in the face of dispair, i will still try
it feels like hell and i need to fly
am about to burst and am full of thought
then if she left to me its draught
the touch of her hand and a kiss so hot
swimming basking and the fish we caught
fear and doubt with love we fought
she always escaped to what we ought
then came the insighter and he seemed brighter
taking her out and treating her better
Using a phone when i used letters
things were hard especially with a competitor
forgot me complete together with her litter
it seemed to her there was nothing sweeter
after utelizing the better of her best
he disposed her and then left
she had some pain in the chest
when she came in serch for rest
she was mine but we had to test
to avoid being hung like a nest
A drop of blood and a little buffer
recalled how our children would suffer
if through ignorance our life was vapour
my test was a line and my partners twice
why would life be so very unfair?
her episode was so shortlived
yet she left me huge a burden
to the kids we had i was both parents
just be cause she wouldn't heed
even doctors advice on adherence
all in all i had to say goodbye
coz she was mine for the time we spent
what i am now going through
is a fruit of ignorance and disobedience
my urge my prayer,
that not one falls into the same
it's so easy to say that,
lets avoid the idea of shame
by first escaping the blame
by keeping ourselfs tame.
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 3:00 AM UTC
This house is warm as it retains the suns powerful rays of heat.
Seeds germinate and grow with strength,
each planted and nurtured with care from the theraputic gardener within his greenhouse.
But its such a shameful shame,
that we can not all be like the contented gardener.
We throw words around like sharp stones of flint,
when the glass house in which we surround ourselfs to will shatter.
Like shards of fine glass panes our words can not be unspoken ..
Unbroken.
Let positivity bathe you in light from the vast window space,
embrace its warmth, speak only words of kindness and love.
If this proves too difficult to comprend when tempers fray,
then eat your words or leave them unsaid.
For this will cause shards of glass within a quick tongue that can not be unherd.
Think, stop, have a little humility,
we should do unto others as we undo for ourselfs.
So I ask you only this, let your thoughts germinate seeded words of encouragement.
Then you will see them blossom into beautiful colours bathed in the warmth of love.
Let this contagious greenhouse in which you surround yourself, keep you mindful,
enjoy its warming embrace of light.
learn to help others shine, you will then comprehend the power of the greenhouse effect.
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 13, 2017 at 6:26 AM UTC
why do we care too much
about the way we look
about the way we talk
about the way we live
why do we bother
to help those who push us aside
to try our hardest when it isnt enough
to try and be some one we are not
we are too focused on trying to help
trying to change ourselfs
trying to be someone we are not
society has pushed people beyond the line of caring
we are now obsesing about the way we look
about how people may judge us
i hate society
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 4:06 AM UTC
Another night
crying, not being able to breath
afraid of losing you
seeing you walking away
without a goodbye
How many more nights like this do i have to face?
Another night
thinking about why you're still with me
just trying to be good enough
wondering if you'll stay
when you have seen me at my worst
Are those nights ever going to end?
Another night
hoping we'll make it
till the end
without killing ourselfs
by trying to save each other
Do you really think those nights are the worst?
Another night
imagining you besides me
falling asleep in your arms
maybe even kiss you goodnight
hoping you love me like i love you
Tell me when these nights will end and everything will be real.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 4:04 AM UTC
the setting moon
slips close to its watery grave
and she finally appears
walking slow carrying her broken shoes
she says that the night jumped her
and she had gotten lost in the
vast differences between what she hoped
and what the world always left her longing with
tears spread from her still young innocent eyes
i held her to reassure
but as i wait for our fears to subside
i see the lights approach
of thouse who would claim lordship over her wallet
and over her soul
bankers of the material world
doubling as demons from hells coldest corner
no fleeing the version where you need to change batteries
they are dead as the souls who manufacture them
she slips a pair of double a's from her
pocket rocket personal massage device
and plugs her mind back into the need to get on with her day
the moon has reached its last gasp
and she has romanced her way out of her dress
and you out of your noble intents
we all reach this impasse
with our pen and page
having sold off our forward momentum
for a desperado gamble at claiming that elusive perfect written word
we flounder at waters edge
unable to pull ourselfs back
unable to manufacture method to crawl further
we make mad dashes round and round the
proverbial gallows pole
hanging on a single idea or ideal
trying to express it clearly
it need not more clear than it is
in mind's eye
but her face lingers in your soul
urging you you recapitulate your dire love
to craft a better master plan for tearing yourself down
the moon has reached its invisible zenith
on the worlds opposite side
and you have yet to reconcile
your good natured laugh
to her dark predictions
she slips away again to seek
her rightful place in her world view
and you are the captain of your sinking rowboat
once more
sexton in hand
plot your thoughts
and row king james home
the moon will rise soon
and you need to be home
when she comes in need of a hugs
and a shoulder to weep on
Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 1:25 PM UTC
we left the old home just
before first light broke to the east
she looked weary and her head hung low
knew she didnt want to leave
but our song had run its course
and it was time to be movin on
and we knew it would never be the same
the summer sun on the rusted wrecks in the field
the cool cool deep waters that we would swim in
at the lake with the pine trees
the old house had one last night
and we had spent it talking on the roof
watching the stars doing their dance
and as the light creeps on in
we gathered ourselfs for one last kiss
at the door where so long ago had carried
her as a blushing bride across the step
starting our time
starting our lives
never thought we'd have to start all over again
nothing you can say
bank man came and posted his sing
and now we got to roll on
fore they roll over us
time is long in the tooth
but we will be ok im sure
as i look out into the breaking bright sun
and the wider world waiting for me
Jan 23, 2014
Jan 23, 2014 at 9:23 PM UTC
My parents often ask me, why are you so stressed, why are you so depressed, . . . . . why are you so . . . crazy?
Here and now I am going to answer that question.
1. stress
The main reason I stress is from responsibility.
RESPONSIBILITY
The word makes me go insane
All of it causes pain.
Sibilings, five younger sibilings,
they all have their things.
they each have someting that either causes me a responsibilty or stress, because its a constant worry, love.
School, all eight classes,
you expect aces.
I can't be perfect, but you want me to be, and that is a huge responsibility.
Home, all of it,
every single bit.
A home requires everybody to have a responsibility.
2. deppresed
The main reason i am often sad, mad, or a mixture of both is that you wouldn't accept me.
NO ACCEPTENCE
To know that you would hate me,
stops me from being free.
Gender, i hate it,
why do we label ourselfs why dont we quit.
I just want to be free and ya'll dont like that, so i can't.
Sexuality, mine is different,
and you would accept it.
The world is different why cant you see that, why is different bad?
Religon, the worst of all,
the lectures make me feel so small.
You force and force and it makes me wat t be farther and farther away.
3. crazy
I am crazy because you dont care.
OBLIVION
You can't see me trying so hard,
the only things you see tears me apart.
I am trying, cant you see,
being perect for you is always who i've been tring to be.
Don't you see me working, all the time, trying to please all of ya'll.
Perfection, its impossible,
nothing can be perfectly aligned on the table.
Why do I have to be your perfect christain daughter who does so well in school while I am unhappy? Why can't I be your unperfect person that follows their dreams and is happy?
- Your unperfect human, Zan.
Apr 22, 2020
Apr 22, 2020 at 1:13 AM UTC
Floating in my head as I drift into slumber.
Awakening to reach and feel. Feel that warmth.
Not coldness and tightness in my chest.
Breath the life back into me. Breath it. Breath it please.
Fear gets us all.
Grabs us tightly and is forceful and ridgid to relase.
But we can be free if we just relieve.
Relieve and retrieve our own life into ourselfs.
Just breath it breath it please.
Lonilness attacks hard
and we can't believe that anything can be strong and steady. Instead we take a step back and plead.
We're hurt and yet we hurt another in our attempt to heal.
But its not healing instead were stealing.
Draining others. Satisfying thirst. Inquenchable.
Take another sip its a sweet hurt.
So just sip it sip it until the last drop is disipating against your tounge.
Sour as vinegar in your mouth.
But your soul is tame and satisfied.
Then the wind whisps and air is knocked back into your tight chest.
And the clean oxygen is as beautiful as the warming sensations pulsing though your blood stream
But your energy is drained.
A pained soul drinks up.
Your heated blush face turns pallor and your extremities run cold as ice.
The vice drinks you up.
Keep on sippin until you disipate.
Nov 16, 2013
Nov 16, 2013 at 11:41 PM UTC
the face turned into the haze of the sun
and in the corner of its unseeing eye
i perceived the nature
of these truths
its in that turned face
its empty gaze cast over the far distant landscape
we all seek to sate the thirst
for a sweeter wine
unleash the mystery of self
unlock the untamed within
its smooth plastic features
hides nothing
but some would say that only reveals that it hides all truth
in its pastel faceless features
that we all see ourselfs
in its pastel faceless features
i see all my loneliness
all my shared joys
all loves all sorrows
all my years struggling against the tide
mishap and perchance
its in that man made face
that we perceive the distance we must travel to find ourselfs
the trials we must endure to discover the truth
behind our own eyes
coiled in its depths are the answers we all seek
after all isnt it that simple
we create the troubles we seek to destroy
in its smooth plastic skin
she finds comfort
free from the fear of another's unpredictable madness
she can explore her own illusions
and that too seems sure
we destroy what we live for
on the beaches of my puddles
and in the forests between my lawn
and the kitchens back door
of my childhood home
the ages have worn away the questions
that once kept me staring off hopeful to the dawn
trying to decipher the meanings
from patterns of a gods casual breath
and so here i linger
these lifetimes later
waiting for the answers
that an inhuman human face hides
pastel kaleidescope
of the turned face
the barren night filled with wishes
and wishes filled with regrets
its pastel tones
haunt the night
its dark mutterings
play along the road that she bicycles on
whistling a girlhood tune
as she fades into loss
the light in her eyes gone forever
sometimes answers are the last thing we need
May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 1:54 AM UTC
I bit my nails down to a nub
Am I a ghost? A long forgotten
Memory, eased into your backburner, well
Oiled with the sweat of my lust?
When may I emerge from the
Shadows and proclaim that my
Love may be silent, but
It screams so loud in my ears.
Hey, I am hurting here!
Can you put down your life for one
Moment and just sit and justfucking
Listento me?
Or perhaps the image of myself I held so dear is
Now a killer, destined for
Damnation along with all the other
Souls that murdered everything they touched.
I swear, I didn’t mean to.
But it all just crumpled in my
Hand like ashes and I tried to be delicate, but
I pressed too hard.
I wanted to know if it was alive.
I wanted to be sure that this
Love was real, and not just some
Plastic penny-box letter.
I cannot escape for you.
These bars bind me down and
These walls close me in No
Matter how much I runorrun
Or run into them they won’t
Budge.
Please, just this once?
Maybe, this time if I am strong enough they will
Move
And I will taste freedom
Please **** them
Every single one'a'em ********
I'm gunna shootemdead.
Gunna gunnemdown
We is gunna get ourselfs happy, fer once.
Issa great game, this "life" thing.
Nov 1, 2011
Nov 1, 2011 at 9:25 PM UTC
not opposites but halves
let me remind you
I love you for you
I love the way you are when your with me
building a safe home
for us both
that one day we can
see the world
that one day we can
make love
that with every full moon
that passes
I miss you more
that when I see you it feels like I was waiting for the moon again
that within each day I dont see you
you are missed dearly
and I want you to know that
were each others halves instead of opposites
because you help me grow
within myself and with you
as the skies start to create wonders my mind expands filling it with more stars
and clouds and airplanes
with new destinations to help us grow within ourselfs within each other as well
each cracked smile whenever I think of you
is great, elation just fills my whole canvas including my brain that above all your my King, you make me happy even when your not with me
that the misses are compared to the next full moon
no matter if its just 48 hours
I never want you to forget my love, our love
I have for you and we have for each other
within the eyes
the canvas is painted in the most beautiful way
that every brush and mark
came with patience and love
And so with every wave is made of the wind
Jan 1, 2016
Jan 1, 2016 at 2:42 PM UTC
the asphalt solution bears no fruit
and it wears on my already threadbare sneakers
i hobble a shifting house out of the rubble
but its paint is chipped and its metal worn
so there's little doubt that it'll never last
there's no roadmap and doubts are abundant
but no there's nothing to go back to
lets lets plunder on into the wild blue
so we three poor-boys set out to see the kingdom
the asphalt asphyxiation
and somewhere near at hand
a mechanical voice mutters an anthology of misgivings
the door is ajar...the door is ajar.....
we can do little but count blessings
and covet the coin another man carries
cause they are morally bankrupt and socially diseased
the asphalt solution near at hand
i step sore foot to road
but am stopped by the rolling of thunder
crashing of wave or was it of naive
somebody gotta save poor-boys like me from ourselfs
the knightess in shining armour rides in on her trusty steed
her quick wit makes short work of dragons and trolls
to save the kingdom and the poor-boys alike
for the world needs more women superhero's like her
a knightess in shining armour
with sensible shoes
wicked ways no more she says
go home to your woman and be at peace sillyhead
so put sore foot to road and tread my way
back on to safe and sound
the asphalt solution get put away
after all the only road i wish to see
leads me right back to my happy little florida home
my woman and my cat waiting on me
a hobbled home knitted by a midnight thief's slippery hand
a knitted life stitched by the memory foam of bad dreams
cup your head to your woman's soft features
your gonna be all right kiddo
i swear on a stack of comic books
about women superhero's
Feb 7, 2014
Feb 7, 2014 at 11:19 AM UTC
twenty years ago
her loose strand of hair lingers over her face
i brush it back gently
and a tear slips free
i can see in her eye
that she wishes that somebody would stop her
that she could escape this charade
i can see its bitter on her lips
i can see it makes her feel so small
so we escaped together
and found ourselfs a happy home to build
a future she told me, a future she promised me
the soft hand slips in
and the next line writes itself
its her that im living for
its her smile that that makes it bearable
its her her loving words that make it understandable
its her eyes that see me
its the future that she promised me was coming
its the future that she promised me was coming
why isn't she saying anything
why are her eyes dark and distant
short lived in this half-light serenade
the tide has withdrawn
leaving me in the cold spray of a winter rain
silence in her eyes
silence on her lips
its so cold here...why wont she speak
why do we linger here
i wish someone would stop me
wish that i could escape this charade
and she died there twenty years this day
at the spring tide just at dawn
she will never speak the world to me
will never smile the day for me
never whisper the love with me
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 10:31 PM UTC
eternity
just a wave of the hand
just a casual thought to bind you to
to this fate for eternity
because you
thought it would be all like yesterday
but the road never remains the same
you can retrace your steps
but you can never go back once you've gone
never be where you once stood
and she looks at you different today
she looks like a stranger to me more and more
as her own road has become strange to her
today was filled with finding ourselfs a new home
but its really a search to find the old one
to try and recapture what we had
the world is before me
a new sky
a new sun
even the air is strange to me
three am
we find a parking lot
and just for a quick laugh
we find a shopping cart
she climbs in and i push faster and faster
trying to catch the stars aflame
trying to beat the rust that moves over the heart
trying to beat the slow misery of moving apart
she wont bed anyone but me
i will never speak to the girl she hates serenity ever again
we fell asleep after making love
slow and careful love
careful to show each-other we haven't lost each-other yet
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 12:22 AM UTC
'its the last stand'
she laughed as she said it in passing
as she walked down to the riverbank
from the sky the sun broke through a bank of clouds
and lit the scene with brilliant light
could see every detail in her beautiful face
could see the flaws in her thinking
but even knowin it was folly
followed her down
cause when you got your hand in another's heart
you follow even into the most foolhardy
cause for good or ill
we set the day spinning
and time passed slow while we waited for
things to pan out
while we waited to see how deep we had
just dug ourselfs
she just laughed
the rain had finally passed
and the sun slowly walked out from behind
and the grass sparkled with hundred fold tiny suns
like the night sky in broad daylight
barefoot she wanders these deep waters
holding up the edge of her new dress
giggling like a promise
of a future
of hopes
she was a woman of the season
and she lived it well
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 1:48 PM UTC
"Language" , as my teacher assured me
"Is a way for us to express ourselfs."
or something along those lines.
"It it a tool to lie." or
"to approximate what seems far away".
For me it is a basement.
where one hides.
where a mistake is forgiven
and where I can fool myself
That all above is true
Jul 28, 2012
Jul 28, 2012 at 10:15 PM UTC
weightless we are,
fallen of birds,
breadths within soft palms;
our spiritless flesh,
once crowned,
monarchs over the heavens;
fed from the golden spoon,
bathed in pearled beds,
clothed by spoils of war,
and that, not our own;
in dust we reign,
like withering pedals,
the wind reaps our treasures;
"oh, how the mighty have fallen"
where then is our hope ;
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 5:23 AM UTC
Legs spread, straddling the topic, and on either side of me is a dangerous fall.
What did you say? I captivate you? You tell me my soft lips and my hard kiss have you thinking of nothing else, my flesh and the way it feels on yours has you forever coming back for more, you love the way we fit, the way we contrast, the way the ink in our skin blends, and when we ourselfs blend were a distinguished shade of gray.
Oh stop, you’re too kind. Blushing babe.
I think its time for a subject change so I’ll dismount, to the left this time because its the side that’s more like following my heart.
I love it when you touch me like that. It’s like you’re feeling every last bit of me, and you like what you feel. Tell me you like what you feel; then again I suppose you don’t need to because I can sense it in the passion. I love this.
In this haze I’ve become malleable, so with every stroke and every word you are redefining my facts of existence, my reality, my subsistence. I'd take this plunge as sure as I'd take my next breath if this is what I could expect. But nights like these are few and far between. So if I’m honest, I’ll tell you I’m resisting this (but I'm not as honest as I should be). Its not black and white, its a distinguished shade of gray. It's us.
Nov 22, 2010
Nov 22, 2010 at 11:36 AM UTC
A beautiful song sings my love for you
A beautiful song sings the fairytale between me and you
A beautiful song describe the wonderful you
A wonderful song sing about you
A beautiful song write about you
A beautiful song is creating the perfect hit about the love of me and you
Its a song what is remembering me about you, a song what is make me to think about you
A perfect song what is describe the chemestry between me and you
A song abou life
A song about the future where we,ll find ourselfs
A love song what will always bring us together and being there for each other forever.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 1:00 AM UTC
winter day
the cold burns
the music in my brothers room is loud
so i walk downstairs and outside
to the garage
and stand silent in the bitterness of winter
angry that i cannot have loud music
angry that i am not my brother
my heart thunders in my chest as i read the written phrase
this was madness in its infancy
this twisted place
i called home
this paper thin disguise
that hides us all
from ourselfs
she looked at me
but i could not see her
i could only see what i could not feel
this paper thin disguise
ugly and distorted
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 9:01 PM UTC
This world we are living in.
We all want to fit there.
Want to be loved with tender
loving care.
Searching and finding.
Take losses and keep fighting.
Feel love feel hate.
Hope you will find your soulmate.
Find a nice job and
spend time with friends.
We all want to happy in the end.
Your health is your biggest wealth.
We want to live our life
that is so meaningful.
But life isn't always beautiful.
We will get our heart broken.
And going through struggles.
We can't always protect ourselfs
from troubles.
We can't live in a safe big bubble.
Just remember what ever comes
on our path.
We have to deal with them and it will
make you stronger.
Stay close to what you believe in
and love and be proud
in all your achievements.
These are my evening thoughts
for this moment.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 4:13 PM UTC
Of what weight does love hold?
Cosmic gigantic love
Streatching from star to star,
from time to time,
Leaping all barriers,
In an insane hurtle race
Run by rabid contenders,
Frothing at the mouth,
Colidicopes in their eyes
Swirling,
As they clear fence after fence
Hardly catching themselves
As their sloppy foot falls land,
All ankles, knees, wobblingly
catching themselves
Their brains decifering
the confused code
Of signals beamed
from legs heart and stomach
All culminating in this
Borderline
Purposeful looking
Yet unintentional
Floppy mess
For in the sake of their love
, Of some thing that they hope
will make them immortal,
or at least super,
That temporary and basic seemingly
Irrefutable good that one feels in his pit
Expanding them and inflating them till they float
High enough above others
To squintingly look down, into the eyes of those unable to bouey bob above the rest.
Lights flicking on their foreheads so
Even if they don't talk people know
Where they are and how splendid
Their bobbing is.
And let's not kid ourselfs
Look at those two
Out in the dark and deep
The 2 hrtz signal allowing them each
To be sure the other exists
Flashes reveal the hidden expressions
Those times of clarity so sparce
When all you want to do is look at them
For a good long time
Take in the other completely
for in those nights
When all thoughts clump
Turning colours to brownish purple.
An you cannot see the other
to have them help as they so enjoy.
Two distant bleeps of light
Red but none the less visible
To all around
After all I guess they will be serving as warner's, out their on thier own.
What rocks and reefs the will they arbrais
What swells will the brave,
And what will we learn from
watching From shore,
Whishing them luck as the sun rests on the other side, as the white caps tumble, as the clouds roll on overhead.
Its a very wet scenario.
Jun 26, 2016
Jun 26, 2016 at 5:39 PM UTC