My parents often ask me, why are you so stressed, why are you so depressed, . . . . . why are you so . . . crazy?
Here and now I am going to answer that question.
The main reason I stress is from responsibility.
The word makes me go insane
All of it causes pain.
Sibilings, five younger sibilings,
they all have their things.
they each have someting that either causes me a responsibilty or stress, because its a constant worry, love.
School, all eight classes,
you expect aces.
I can't be perfect, but you want me to be, and that is a huge responsibility.
Home, all of it,
every single bit.
A home requires everybody to have a responsibility.
The main reason i am often sad, mad, or a mixture of both is that you wouldn't accept me.
To know that you would hate me,
stops me from being free.
Gender, i hate it,
why do we label ourselfs why dont we quit.
I just want to be free and ya'll dont like that, so i can't.
Sexuality, mine is different,
and you would accept it.
The world is different why cant you see that, why is different bad?
Religon, the worst of all,
the lectures make me feel so small.
You force and force and it makes me wat t be farther and farther away.
I am crazy because you dont care.
You can't see me trying so hard,
the only things you see tears me apart.
I am trying, cant you see,
being perect for you is always who i've been tring to be.
Don't you see me working, all the time, trying to please all of ya'll.
Perfection, its impossible,
nothing can be perfectly aligned on the table.
Why do I have to be your perfect christain daughter who does so well in school while I am unhappy? Why can't I be your unperfect person that follows their dreams and is happy?
- Your unperfect human, Zan.