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A poetic drama (One Scene)

( Egypt’s parliamentary farce)

(The spokesperson on the presidium strikes the table with a wooden hammer and asks for order. Participants become quiet.
Raise your hands and reflect your views on today’s point of argument— The Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam (GERD ) on Blue Nile. Various people representatives raise hands,
The spokesman says let us start with Mr. Hydrologist over there.)

Egypt’s globally
Topmost voluminous
Underground
Reserve of water
We could use later.
So via our media outlets
It is better
We dupe
The global community with
Much-touted chatter
“To Egyptians
Demand of water
To cater
Blue Nile is
A life and
Death matter!
As thicker than blood
Is water! ”

Of course,
From the Mediterranean
Or Red Sea
We could extract, desalinate
And use water,
But why should
We talk about that?
We better
Ask on Blue Nile
A farfetched exclusive right.

Though hydropower dam
Has no significant harm
We shall flout it
In a way it runs
Out of charm.
As  the Nobel peace winner
Premier  Abiy Ahmed put it
"Almost all Egyptians
Enjoy the supply of electricity,
While over half of Ethiopians
Are thirsty of such necessity.

Tragically, to date
Using a lamp
Covers most of Ethiopia's map.

For the rational,
It is a source of worry
Innumerable Ethiopian mothers
Still on their backs carry
Backbreaking firewood
So that go to school
Their children could.
What we say
Is if you  are remiss to help
don't stand on our way
While we're flapping wings
From fettering poverty
To break away!"


Also via a conduit
Diverting Blue Nile
Across the Sahara desert
A financial return
Egypt could get
That delights its heart.
The water from
Upstream countries
We do not buy
But paradoxically sell it
We shouldn’t why?

Like Israel
Using drip irrigation
Must not
Draw our attention.
We shall be extravagant
For Blue Nile’s water
Is abundant.
Unchecked lavishly
It must flow!
Pertaining to that
We have to remain adamant.

Also, the
Silt accumulation
In Aswan dam
Could be disastrous
The outcome,
Yet we have
To cry foul
This challenge-averting
GERD must not soon
Generate region-
much-needed power!

Though it is 50 % of the
Annual trans boundary
Water outflow
Other water-generating countries
Are willing to let go
Unwilling anything below,
Kind Ethiopia ventures
Holding only 13% of
The yearly flow to follow,
However, ingratitude
Must feature our attitude.
This may
Provoke a  dismay
But attention
We shall not pay.

(A tumultuous applause shook the parliament. Once more the spokesman asks for order. Then he invites a former diplomat saying “ it is your turn.”)

Once, by famine hit
When Ethiopia   asked
“Help me not why?”,
While others extended help,
Mocking, we did turn
A blind eye.

As our former bent
Whenever Ethiopia
Seeks  grant
From international
Development Institutions
On grounds of
Fighting poverty and drought,
Greasing palms  
We shall bring
Ethiopia’s plans to harness
Blue Nile to naught!
Use we shall
Many a phony diplomat
With a tongue of honey
And a heart of gall.

Tact we do not lack
So cautiously,
Our sanctimonious mask
Our targets
May not hack,
All out
We shall engage in
Self-selling talk!

From all things that fall
In the technical matrices
We shall make a sham politics.

(He sits enjoying a standing ovation. The spokesman invites a representative with a military background.)

We shall blow our
Trumpet in the air
“In lieu of
The reasonable 3 years,
Cooperatively,
From 4 to 6 years
To fill the dam
If Ethiopians dare,
War on it
We shall declare!
Barefacedly claiming
Fifteen to 20 years
Is what is fair!

In such infeasible way
Before it sees the day’s light
GERD will suffer blight.”

(He hiccups and continues)

“With a bellicose bent
To remind ourselves
Deliberately we shall fail
So many times Ethiopia
Chased out every
Egypt’s invading army
Between its legs
Shoveled its tail.
(Ex. Isma'il Pasha/ 1874 –1876
Gundet &Gura March 7–9, 1876)
But why should we care
Arsenal support
Hypocrites, who want to exploit
In the Middle East
Egypt’s political purport,
Will bring to our port.
The current catchphrase
"I can't breathe"
Demonstrates hypocrites'
Justice has no teeth!

We shall
Continue to brag
About GERD’s full actualization
Foot to drag.
I’m afraid
If we strike GERD,
On Aswan dam
Ethiopia will certainly inflict
A similar harm.
Its infantry
Acid-tested hero
Within finger-counted days
Will march into Cairo.

Its top official or
One from its mob
Cold blow up in Egypt a bomb.

We have to understand
As its former PM
Meles put it
“It is not
Its football squad
Ethiopia will deploy
On the terrain rough
When the going
Gets tough!”

We shouldn't worry
We have no history
Of battle front victory.
Poking our nose here and there
(Sudan, Somalia, Yemen,
Libiya, Palestine, Israel)
We shall make political trouble
As we are averse to self
-politics burgeoning dabble.

(He sat after enjoying a heartwarming laughter from the audience. The spokesman himself could not help unzipping his lips and invites a hoary headed historian.)

Subjects of colonization
It is our
Historic right
For the hanging-over
Mentality of predators
To fight
“Gobbling down
All resources
Is our right!”
We shall espouse
Unjust and inequitable deal
“Ethiopia fairly
GERD must not fill!”
We must gamble
Regarding the water division
There has to be a deal
That serves our colonial
Legacy a sign and seal.

There is nothing we hate
Than the following sentiment
Pan Africanists activate.
"We have to get
Behind our back
Days dark!"

(He sits accompanied by an affirmative nods. The spokesman invited Miss Environmentalist "it is your turn." "Thank you for the opportunity,"  she said and  standing she scanned the congregants
before speaking)

In parrying evaporation
GRERD being built in a gorge
Than Aswan Dam
In the desert
Draws better attention.
Though logical,
This we do not wish to hear
So we shall turn a deaf ear
Saying
“Your nuisance
We no longer bear!”

Of course
To avoid siltation
In GERD
Also to ensure
The continuous flow of water
Towards Green development
Ethiopia is making an unprecedented &
Unflagging movement.

Yes , Yes
Green development
Draws rain
Though that is
To our gain
From expressing
Appreciation to
Ethiopia’s timely move
We shall refrain.

From the voice of
Sagacious leaders of
Africa
It is better
To heed a hypocrite
From America;
That could not be a shame
In the political game.

(She takes a seat enjoying a high five. The spokesman invites a parliamentarian who is a member of the Arab league.)

As Sudan poses
A rational gait
Its voice has weight.
Our sugar-coated talk
It may not buy
Hence, the fuel-intoxicated
Gluttonous Arab League
Its voice
Needs to raise high.
White supremacists
Must try hard
To sweet talk Sudan
To our side.
Otherwise
Creating political heat
In to two its people
We have to split
To unseat
Its incumbent president
Popular support that ride.
This  insidious tide
From Sudanese mob
We have to hide!

We have a toy League
That doesn’t ask itself
“ Why
War-fleeing Arabs ,
Shunned by Arabs,
Seek a safe haven
Under Ethiopia’s sky?
Why  of all
In Prophet Mohammed's eyes
Ethiopia stands tall?”
That no one could deny
But we must
Neither wonder  nor ponder
“Why
For own advantage
Arabs-eating-Arabs
That commit  
Political suicide
Could not
Stand by
The reasonable
Ones’ side?”

Creating this and  
That pretext
We shall derail
The all-out task
To bring GERD’s to end,
At long last
To make it
As good as dead.

Why should we care?
If Ethiopia or the region is
Thirsty of hydropower
In so far as
Our conceited
Pride remains
In glory tower.


Moreover if soured
Pushed to the end or angry
Reflect  we must not
Ethiopians could tame
Its this or that tributary.

(When a wealthy merchant raised his hand the spokesman gave him a green light to speak.)

Pampering with money
Fifth columnists cruel
Let us keep on using
In Ethiopia
As runs the adage
Divide and rule,
Along ethnic
And religious lines
To  drive a wedge
So that Ethiopians will not
Come to the same page,
While turmoil in their country
Opts to rage.

We could ignore the fact
Ethiopians soon display
Unity and solidarity
When threatened gets
Nation’s  sovereignty.
In Ethio-Somali war
Ethiopians Karamara’s Victory
Talks loud such history.

I'm afraid
Our  divisive action could
Bring together Ethiopians,
Be it on left or right end,
Their sovereignty to defend.


Robbed of
Their alluvial soil
By a prodigal river
Ethiopia’s  farmers
Undergo a hard toil
If we are asked for that
Compensation to pay
“No!”
We  have  to say.

Note that
Using industrialization
Like Japan
Develop we can
Than irrigating  
A- scorching-sun
-smoldered land
Full of sand.

As the  jealously insane
What should worry Egypt
Must not  be what  it could lose
But  Ethiopia gain.
What I fear
In the diplomatic arena
With GERD Ethiopia
Will come forth
Shifting gear.
When Ethiopians' development
Proceeds apace
Ethiopia could Egypt displace.
So on its development
We  have to pose a roadblock
Or a spoke.
.

(This much  farce is enough for today .Parliament is dismissed says the spokesman.)////////
Science-based approach visa-vis politics- based approach. Colonial legacy has no room in the 21th century
Nat Lipstadt Aug 2016
quite recently, I received an extraordinary complimentary message to one of my poems, from a comrade in arms, dare I call him friend, that cored, scored me.  I post it below.  Not from braggadocio, or vanity, venal poetry sins.  But, it could not stand orphaned,
unrequited and unreciprocated,
for that would be a sin of even greater magnitude,

ingratitude

<>

this poem begins unique,
am struggling with a problem previously
unknown, never before even
close encountered

how do I commence?

poet wonders repeatedly,
a tune on the not-so-natty brain,
set on the machine's "repeat"setting,
this problematical for de minimus - 25 hour day,
this scribbler, this constant nibbler
on the Graham crackers life bestows,
befuddled muddled
for

this is never an issue,
it's the windup, the shutdown,
knowing when enough is enough,
that is the sorest point of his
elongated, can't shut up skill set

it cannot stand, it cannot just hang,
it needs a rabbinical wise,
responsible responsum,
a simple
thank you
holy, holy, holy
insufficient

these words, an almost wet smackdown,
catch me exposed, crossing Sixth Avenue,
against oncoming traffic (naturally),
while on cell phone bad boy,
doing his three R's,#
reading, writing & errrrr, deleting,
(yeah, yeah, I know, I know)
amidst my multiplicity of incoming artillery shells of
automobiles and messages,
this one,
seizing me up, me like a screeching,
near dying engine, broke from being oil-less,
nearly dropping my two large
20 oz. McDonald's coffees which easy
could flood this four lane
thoroughfare

you want to write like this,
are you mad, man?

all I ever es-say is what I see,
throwing in a rhyme or two,
a pinch of a fancy word to impress the
hoi polloi, and plenty salty sweet
to provocate a sensory ah ha
confusion

sir, why write like me,
when you pen this?

"yet all of this could
just as easily be,
the sum of two,
grateful hearts in equal parts,
the beat of two in rhythm thrum,
march in time upon one drum"
^

which pretty much says
what needs saying
all in one perfect stanza humming

but this note, is so far,
way deficient,
a mockery of what the situation requires and is deserving,
so multiple lovely muses redirect me
back to my email,
where I find this waiting,
in repose, this prose,
perfect

A compliment is a complement—
this I know, just as the clock
will always strike midnight
and history repeats. This is how
I can wake up the next morning
and love the world again.
^^

blossoming notion, this is but a complement,
where the line dotted allows free passage
from reader to poet, from poet to poet,
permitting the peaking reciprocity of completion,
and this complement
I accept, unashamedly, profoundly
for this is my 1/1,
for to make a whole, we still require
numerator, denominator,
of equal value

on this basis,
and this basis alone,
I accept your words

when prowling scowling late at night,
or early sun rising, old bones enthroned
in my Adirondack dis-comforter,
will come a-sneaking, a-peaking,
nobody-around-real quiet like,
for another look-see at this kookery,
in my solitary poet's by-the-bay nookery,

the thought comes,
maybe it's time to lay that pen down,
the Israelites have crossed that Red Sea,
dry and on their way to a land of promises,
when sure enough my coffee mug
spills onto an ant hill hard by the beach,
and oops, soiling the soil,
the Lesser Antillean inhabitants making an unholy ruckus,
and oops, ther goes another rubber plant, high hopes, poem aborning,^^^

but sir, be advised,
your excess foolishness is warming,
but we cannot without each other,
march to one drum,
our steps surely mismatched,
it is the reciprocity of
complementary numerical worthies that unites the fractions of us
into a singletary winter pea,
a whole of us,
in order to
"let us love the world again"
yes, a true 'story'
<>
#reading, writing and 'rithmetic
-----------
"some time back
this notion became clear to me.
have wanted to say it since;
this, your words, the perfect segue.

i have come to love
the style of your writing,
so much so as to adopt it,
as my own, though perhaps
in my own tone, voice, and
life experience.

much of how i write today,
I attribute to your influence...
no kidding, no hyperbole,
no gush, no mush, just truth.

whomever taught or influenced you
is to be admired most,
for in the style
i see most encapsulated by yours
is a conveyance that goes
well beyond words,
well beyond mere ideas...
it incorporates heart and emotion,
and more so,
the heart behind the heart,
in a way rather uncommon
to most poetry."^

S. Reimer
"After-math"
<>
^^ "On Being Told I Look Like FLOTUS, New Year’s Eve Party 2014"
by January Gill O’Neil

<>

^^^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S94Bh3Qez9o
Andrew Rueter Jun 2018
Asleep alone
I got the light scare
Of a nightmare
With my plight there
Which wouldn't fight fair

Awake awaits
Chirping is all I hear
Dragging life into focus
Getting the lens clear
To see things are hopeless
My aches and pains
Are my body's refrain
To remind me of existence
Despite my mental resistance
I am lucid
I take my shoelace
And loop it
To run a new race

Timidly trembling
The violence in my dreams
Matches the silence and screams
That defile us and our team
Making the nightmares real
And the pain I can feel
So it's love I steal
A devil's deal
Hell unsealed
I can hear the vultures chirping
Or maybe they're just burping
Out the demons I ignored
My forgiveness they implored
To meet a silent scorn
Like a muted tribal horn
Banishing them to another realm
With my ostracism at the helm
Until the lonely are overwhelmed
And I see the error of my ways
Once I'm part of this chaotic haze

Practically paralyzed
I am lost
In this game
I've met the boss
He and I the same
He is a voice
Chirping in my ear
Saying I have no choice
I should give in to fear
And just drink beer
Until the end is here

Carelessly comatose
The birds that once sang beautifully
Now retreat dutifully
When they see my thoughtless anger
Turn me into a ruthless stranger
Creating danger
For those living righteously
They start fighting me
Trying to enlighten me
Which is only exciting me
Because I lack the sight to see
What the world could be
If we could harmonize
Like the birds
Not using argent lies
But soothing words
Yet there is no tax exemption
For my reluctant redemption
So my mind invented
No incentive

Soul slaughtered
The tear jerking
Birds chirping
Constantly remind me
Inside my sleep they find me
Thrusting me into a life unwinding
Through my window the sun is blinding
When I start to fear my brother
After seeing mirrors in others
Reflecting my attitude
Of ingratitude

I had a nasty nightmare
Of Camp Crystal Lake
Filled with misfit flakes
Paying for their mistakes
With pain and suffering
As deep as a submarine
Being torn apart
For every decision
Hiding their heart
To avoid incisions
And once all these losers are slain
The birds chirping start a new day
Can be found in my self published poetry book “Icy”.
https://www.amazon.com/Icy-Andrew-Rueter-ebook/dp/B07VDLZT9Y/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Icy+Andrew+Rueter&qid=1572980151&sr=8-1
PNasarudheen Sep 2013
ODE TO  RIOTERS
The clouds rumble , O! sons of Malice ,hear
The smoke of arson and roar of lies
In the name of God in heaven; to the tune of lords near
Ignorant men  , followers of Dionysus fly like flies.
Think ! read ,what the history of man tells
Of fire that Prometheus brought for our happiness
But, ingratitude of satanic forces by  spells
Inflame the fire of Ire and burn the huts; brings unhappiness.
Tempters like Hera of Zeus pleasantly smile
Resting in Bars or legislatures , counting votes on computer screen
Echo of slogans on Equality, Fraternity, Liberty from a mile
Makes in social conscience  a  scathing scene.
The land of Buddha. Abraham Lincoln, prophets of peace all
Sent by God to every race and all clans dull,
Told the people all over to be kind
Loving ,lovable and of service mind.
(2).
O! political crookedness, in struggle for power  you tempt
People to compete and hate and conquer
By communal spirit forgetting  Divine Spirit and contempt
Religious heads and political aspirants together
Like criminals think and twist the holy ideas, even
They hold holy books in left hand and in right hand gun
And advice disciples to die and **** for heroic heaven
For them, as if death is an easy going fun;
The First Estate of France still as  impulses here in world
Reign the countries as rulers  of Democracy mocking
And they jointly exploit subjects ; and devotees of the spiritual world,
Misguide men and women  by prayers rocking
Hope of Heaven and horror of Hell
Make the people, forget all , and yell
When the villainous leaders signal by baton
The desperados become boys wanton.
(3)
O! devilish War-Lords, do you read Vedic Books?
What they mean ? for you mean? as they tell of God ,the sole Creator
The Creator of you and the “Other”  in your hooks.
The Preserver and Destroyer , may not be for you Pharaohs greater,
O! Pharaohs , you don’t  cause rain, make the Sun rise
And the greenery, birds and fish flourish .
When the Earth rumbles and tsunami rages you give the price
The rewards of hatred you sowed nourish-
All around ,as chemical war terrorism-a horrible nightmare
But, Epicureans! All are from Him and unto Him all shall return.
Marketing competitions and sale of arms cause the Wars
As history reminds us :none gained but failed to sustain peace;
Still, the blunder of division of people and exploitation stars
Rise , at the West with the dying Sun’s horses and Mars.
Politics and Economics -two horses of Civilization unbridled
Terribly gallop with men on them girdled.
(4)
O! cruel  egoistic  businessmen ,you globalize immorality
By greed, you trade with  fanatics and  terrorists,
Spur clashes: Multiculturism versus monoculturism  denying plurality
Challenging Eternity; certainty of scientists.
At Saranath,Lord  Buddha told  disciples on the Middle Path of  life
To Torah “The Lord our God , the Lord is One”, so Jesus taught us all
And guided to worship  God in” Spirit and truth “ in our life
No other Lord but Allah deserves worship of us all-
Allah is the Light of the Earth, and of the Sky ,O! Lord
God is the Eternal  Light  to illuminate all  ;to be worshiped
Bhagavat Gita says,"The body is the temple of God
In the Spiritual realm : all are from the One ,the  worshipped.
God is the only One without birth and death
The Unique unlike the creatures on earth
The Force is called “atma” by Vedas no trade and
Sciences  tell: it is Eternal  , cannot be made by human hand. .
(5)
O! the ill -taught  simpletons , think !why shall we spoil life
in feuds communal or political  for the luxury of masters
Suicide never a sacrifice; if at all ,it is beheading of human in life
At the altar of regal, egotist power-mongers.
The Only God is the  Seed of all; names may differ by language difference
Holy books use all noble qualities to the name the Supreme Lord
Then, why the sons of that One Lord, in repentance
Think on action : virtue  or evil and pray: forgive ,O! Lord
In democracy, we are free to believe  the God or not
Still, we can be human by refraining from paining others
Freeing ourselves from communal hatred, the vicious knot
As the political fences   encircle us that make us enemies of others.
Stars in the sky and the Sun and the Moon
Are mortal ones from God for our boon.
Let us be men and women loving all , serving all;
Not severing heads; but lead a life ,culturally tall.
                                             ***********
Note:atma=soul.
The sadness in one’s life
Can ruin one’s writing
No matter how sad
Or how good at fighting

The person who tries so hard
To please everyone
Thankless, Hopeless
Sad

Efforts futile
Trial wasted
Maybe someday
I’ll be appreciated

Running on empty
For far too long
Maybe someone
Will hear this song
Steven Hutchison Apr 2012
On April 26th, 372 B.C. Plato was the first man to inflict injury upon his own dreams.
Not the forms casting shadows in his cave, his literal dreams.
At 6:35 a.m. the impish snarl of a water ***** crept into his Utopia of an
all-you-can-eat gyro cart overturned at the corner of his street and roused him
back to consciousness. The ingenious design of his Clepsydra quite obviously complete,
Aristotle came running with the awkward stride of a sleepwalking adolescent
to see what his master had done. When he arrived he saw flying,
two pots of water, an air-compressing submersible chamber and one water ***** reed.
Aristotle quickly collected the shattered pieces and noted
that this broken pottery was more real than time itself.

On September 21st, 712 A.D. a small village just outside the boundaries of
Chang'an, China came dangerously close to taking the life of the palace
astronomer/inventor/sleepyhead. Crowding around the door of Yi Xing, the
townspeople tore their robes and wailed for him to put a stop to the
incessant clanging. Xing, who had apparently overslept and was still
clinging to morsels of fading dreams about his young mistress, stuffed his
face into his pillow, muttering eureka, after first having chucked the
two clay pots, handful of stones and plate-sized gong out the front door,
much to the amusement of the assembly of drooping eyelids and torn pajamas.

In the year 1235 A.D. tortured residents of Baghdad began associating their
daily and nightly times for prayer with the ringing of their eardrums from
uninvited chimes.

In 1493 St. Mark's Clock-tower polluted the once-pure Venetian air with
hourly reminders that we are all yet one hour closer to our inevitable death
and the priests of the day called it humility.

Levi Hutchins of New Hampshire turned to a pine cabinet, brass clock and
mechanical gears in 1787, and for the first time gave himself the ability to
choose when he would hate the morning.

In 1847, French inventor Antoine Redier began making money off of people's
early morning auditory masochism.

Lew Wallace, the morning after completing his masterpiece novel "Ben Hur,"
awoke with a fiendish beeping in his ear and proceeded to invent the paradox
of the snooze button.

In Spring of 1942 the war in Europe raged and all U.S. alarm clock production ceased.

In the Spring of 1943 well-rested factory men, confronted by their foreman
upon arrival at 9:15, erupted the words "my alarm clock is broken,"
forever placing the excuse in the deep pockets of slackers
world-wide.

To all of these respected men of our history
Who have thought with their hands to create
The foundation of a society drowning in Starbucks,
I wish to express my sincerest ingratitude.

I lie awake in bed at night,
Licking the bitter taste of reality from my cheeks,
In the company of Plato, Lew Wallace and Yi Xing,
Wondering what dreams will be stolen from me.
Day 20
ConnectHook Sep 2015
☺☻╬☻

Finish the crackers --- grab a smoke . . .
of Ferguson my muse will sing.
A call to arms --- God’s fires to stoke;
let Truth and Freedom ring!

Take to the streets; avenge this wrong
and hasten the end of racist rule.
Justice, though it may tarry long
will find its target in the duel.

Young Michael Brown, like all true saints
found himself craving Swisher Sweets.
He robbed a store, whose camera paints
impartial portrait. In the streets

the thief refused to be detained
and so threw off police restraint.
Though sin escaped, the Law remained
and made a martyr of this saint.

The agitators did their thing:
inflaming thugs to smash and loot,
while racists baited hooks, to string
the press. Officials followed suit.

Angels, although not always kind,
do not display this attitude –
aware of how the police mind
responds to such ingratitude.

We ought to thank the police force
for showing mercy under stress.
The culprit chose a foolish course
and made a God-awful mess.

Prince Michael met ignoble fate
(that ghetto-Christ, that righteous youth)
His sacrifice in vain --- though great,
could not impede the march of Truth.

Ferguson, our eyes turn towards you . . .
are you now able to admit
while reality rewards you
that looting and lying ain’t ****?
¡ Hypocrite readers -  I salute you !
almost a thousand have read this immortal screed and not ONE of you
dares to LIKE it. Poetic wusses all. Social Justice is on the way.
☻ ?  ☻
Vanity, saith the preacher, vanity!
Draw round my bed: is Anselm keeping back?
Nephews—sons mine—ah God, I know not! Well—
She, men would have to be your mother once,
Old Gandolf envied me, so fair she was!
What’s done is done, and she is dead beside,
Dead long ago, and I am Bishop since,
And as she died so must we die ourselves,
And thence ye may perceive the world’s a dream.
Life, how and what is it? As here I lie
In this state-chamber, dying by degrees,
Hours and long hours in the dead night, I ask
“Do I live, am I dead?” Peace, peace seems all.
Saint Praxed’s ever was the church for peace;
And so, about this tomb of mine. I fought
With tooth and nail to save my niche, ye know:
—Old Gandolf cozened me, despite my care;
Shrewd was that ****** from out the corner South
He graced his carrion with, God curse the same!
Yet still my niche is not so cramped but thence
One sees the pulpit o’ the epistle-side,
And somewhat of the choir, those silent seats,
And up into the very dome where live
The angels, and a sunbeam’s sure to lurk:
And I shall fill my slab of basalt there,
And ’neath my tabernacle take my rest,
With those nine columns round me, two and two,
The odd one at my feet where Anselm stands:
Peach-blossom marble all, the rare, the ripe
As fresh poured red wine of a mighty pulse
—Old Gandolf with his paltry onion-stone,
Put me where I may look at him! True peach,
Rosy and flawless: how I earned the prize!
Draw close: that conflagration of my church
—What then? So much was saved if aught were missed!
My sons, ye would not be my death? Go dig
The white-grape vineyard where the oil-press stood,
Drop water gently till the surface sink,
And if ye find—Ah God, I know not, I!—
Bedded in store of rotten fig-leaves soft,
And corded up in a tight olive-frail,
Some lump, ah God, of lapis lazuli,
Big as a Jew’s head cut off at the nape,
Blue as a vein o’er the Madonna’s breast
Sons, all have I bequeathed you, villas, all,
That brave Frascati villa with its bath,
So, let the blue lump poise between my knees,
Like God the Father’s globe on both his hands
Ye worship in the Jesu Church so gay,
For Gandolf shall not choose but see and burst!
Swift as a weaver’s shuttle fleet our years:
Man goeth to the grave, and where is he?
Did I say basalt for my slab, sons? Black—
’Twas ever antique-black I meant! How else
Shall ye contrast my frieze to come beneath?
The bas-relief in bronze ye promised me.
Those Pans and Nymphs ye wot of, and perchance
Some tripod, thyrsus, with a vase or so,
The Saviour at his sermon on the mount,
Saint Praxed in a glory, and one Pan
Ready to twitch the Nymph’s last garment off,
And Moses with the tables—but I know
Ye mark me not! What do they whisper thee,
Child of my bowels, Anselm? Ah, ye hope
To revel down my villas while I gasp
Bricked o’er with beggar’s mouldy travertine
Which Gandolf from his tomb-top chuckles at!
Nay, boys, ye love me—all of jasper, then!
’Tis jasper ye stand pledged to, lest I grieve.
My bath must needs be left behind, alas!
One block, pure green as a pistachio-nut,
There’s plenty jasper somewhere in the world—
And have I not Saint Praxed’s ear to pray
Horses for ye, and brown Greek manuscripts,
And mistresses with great smooth marbly limbs?
—That’s if ye carve my epitaph aright,
Choice Latin, picked phrase, Tully’s every word,
No gaudy ware like Gandolf’s second line—
Tully, my masters? Ulpian serves his need!
And then how I shall lie through centuries,
And hear the blessed mutter of the mass,
And see God made and eaten all day long,
And feel the steady candle-flame, and taste
Good strong thick stupefying incense-smoke!
For as I lie here, hours of the dead night,
Dying in state and by such slow degrees,
I fold my arms as if they clasped a crook,
And stretch my feet forth straight as stone can point,
And let the bedclothes, for a mortcloth, drop
Into great laps and folds of sculptor’s work:
And as yon tapers dwindle, and strange thoughts
Grow, with a certain humming in my ears,
About the life before I lived this life,
And this life too, popes, cardinals and priests,
Saint Praxed at his sermon on the mount,
Your tall pale mother with her talking eyes,
And new-found agate urns as fresh as day,
And marble’s language, Latin pure, discreet,
—Aha, ELUCESCEBAT quoth our friend?
No Tully, said I, Ulpian at the best!
Evil and brief hath been my pilgrimage.
All lapis, all, sons! Else I give the Pope
My villas! Will ye ever eat my heart?
Ever your eyes were as a lizard’s quick,
They glitter like your mother’s for my soul,
Or ye would heighten my impoverished frieze,
Piece out its starved design, and fill my vase
With grapes, and add a visor and a Term,
And to the tripod ye would tie a lynx
That in his struggle throws the thyrsus down,
To comfort me on my entablature
Whereon I am to lie till I must ask
“Do I live, am I dead?” There, leave me, there!
For ye have stabbed me with ingratitude
To death—ye wish it—God, ye wish it! Stone—
Gritstone, a crumble! Clammy squares which sweat
As if the corpse they keep were oozing through—
And no more lapis to delight the world!
Well, go! I bless ye. Fewer tapers there,
But in a row: and, going, turn your backs
—Ay, like departing altar-ministrants,
And leave me in my church, the church for peace,
That I may watch at leisure if he leers—
Old Gandolf—at me, from his onion-stone,
As still he envied me, so fair she was!
Joel M Frye Jun 2018
There are no more bad days.
There are moments
          of ingratitude
          of rage
          of self-pity
          of hatred.
Those do not last.
There are
          friends
          family
          caregivers
          kind strangers.
These are evergreens.
Bad moments need not
become bad days.
The song of life
plays on between them.
The cancer has returned.  I will begin treatment later this month.  Thank you to my many friends here for your continued support.
Farewell, false love, the oracle of lies,
A mortal foe and enemy to rest,
An envious boy, from whom all cares arise,
A ******* vile, a beast with rage possessed,
A way of error, a temple full of treason,
In all effects contrary unto reason.

A poisoned serpent covered all with flowers,
Mother of sighs, and murderer of repose,
A sea of sorrows whence are drawn such showers
As moisture lend to every grief that grows;
A school of guile, a net of deep deceit,
A gilded hook that holds a poisoned bait.

A fortress foiled, which reason did defend,
A siren song, a fever of the mind,
A maze wherein affection finds no end,
A raging cloud that runs before the wind,
A substance like the shadow of the sun,
A goal of grief for which the wisest run.

A quenchless fire, a nurse of trembling fear,
A path that leads to peril and mishap,
A true retreat of sorrow and despair,
An idle boy that sleeps in pleasure’s lap,
A deep mistrust of that which certain seems,
A hope of that which reason doubtful deems.

Sith then thy trains my younger years betrayed,
And for my faith ingratitude I find;
And sith repentance hath my wrongs bewrayed,
Whose course was ever contrary to kind:
False love, desire, and beauty frail, adieu.
Dead is the root whence all these fancies grew.
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2017
i can be a sadomasochist with myself sometimes,
given the videos i watch on the internet -
but then i'm again bound to being perched on
a windowsill, married to a dialogue with
the moon... and to tide bound,
sometimes the graciouis words comes my way,
sometimes the ingratitude... but then clouds at night
are never so by day.... and i feel blessed...
for they contort in such a way that i see
all paths toward pandemonium
leading, how they contort without
Mickiewicz toward no hope of castles or swans
being conjured - but hollowed out eyes of death
with a jester's smile of awaiting Tripoli -
are thus bound and exhausted
in exceeding their time there...
once monotheism conquered
the gods of both norden bound
and classics... it should be faced with a new
barbarism, and bygone strides
       against the demigods...
with a demi-**** that's Muhammad
of semi-applause allowed the gratification
of being literate, but as all good myths
abide by: unable to write out
δ ι κ τ α, plus minus 1 + 1 be the = dicta...
clouds in the night...
breathing magnimonity -
         as merely: cloud in the night,
Ilsidore...
had i been given the confirmation name,
now i can think of a name, i'd would like...
izydor...
             this is this last precision of magic...
had i been confirmed by a church,
and the bishop of some obscure essex country,
only being aged 30 i'd like the name to
be Isidore...
                     a bit late, i know...
  but i am an apostate, and i want
to drink from the font of baptism...
but you give me no water for my scythed lips...
for death scythes no bones...
had my confirmation be, it would have been
Isidore... the 16 year old me would have taken
to the name Michael... give it time
and it would have matured into Isidore...
Izydor of Seville...
but i am an apostate... and i don't believe this
egypt crap of the nag hammadi library...
i can't argue with a muslim,
i am given the archeology of the library,
and given the death of the prophet Isaiah...
it's too real to have these two prophets burried...
and in script re-awoken...
           that the new testament and the koran
make no sense... archeology sort of dislodges their
heart's intent to kneel and make macabre at the mosque...
it's impossible to convert... because you just can't convert...
   Isaiah was cut in half and Jesus was crucified...
i can't believe in the son of god...
                           both were burried...
       but the catholic bureucracy remains,
and if my confirmation name goes as anything,
i would now be called Isidore...
                                and if i'm mad for doing so:
then i have prince purple as my sparring partner...
                       nag hammadi & the dead sea scrolls...
no wonder the koran is so agitated...
      it has lost its profound origin...
it has lost its profound cool because it was lost...
the current muslim affairs are due to the fact that
the nag hammadi library and the dead seal scrolls emerged...
there's no simpler explanation,
   it's hard to testify irrational emotional
                                    coagulations when something is spoken
in archeological testimony...
    thank god the new testament speaks of jo and ma
moving to egypt, where the nag hammadi library was found...
and we know the prophet isaiah was a courtesan,
which is why we find his book in israel...
but the koran brotherhood is *******...
   i think the new testament wrecked more havoc
on northern europeans than the koran ever could
on the Indonesians... to be honest.
but because the two archeological findings were found,
the koran crew is *******... they're simply saying:
we prayed five times a a day, and for what?!
you ask me, i was expecting falafel and baklava.
                i can't expect them not being angry
when the koran has been undermined...
and it has...
                       when they hid the gospel of thomas
in egypt and sold the truth: by jew for jews alone...
no one thought it would backfire...
     st. paul can sorta forget mass circumcision as benefit
with these women...
  it's a question of: you have to re-learn
the benefits, to see what you lost.
              and you have lost what you couldn't appreciate.
so in america: anti-religious circumcision,
or secular circumcision and ***** paved the way for
what we have: rather happy masturbators with foreskins
and women with circumcised male partners,
and neither masturbators nor secularists want to
start families... d'uh.
             the koran is ******* because of what emerged
in 1945 and was guarded by the logic of archeo...
                                    you can't stop
because they know they're simply wrong...
we know from those adhering to st. thomas' gospel
as promoting trans-gender bulletproofing
that poetry can only be stretched so far...
   you can't tell demons to be methapors
   and tell transgender bi-genital creatures that they're
figments of our imagination...
you tell me a demons doens't exist: i tell you a transgender
person doesn't exist... this is the glorious
anarchy of st. thomas' gospel implemented without
the authority of the church...
the mystery of lawlessness? archeology:
hide it long enough, even the koran will crumble...
and lo and behold! i'm drinking! why?
because i'm celebrating this glorious whirlwind of
insisting anarchy!
         and why do i not feel rebellious?
that might be a good question...
                 but it's not...
              i don't have a proto-koran to begin with...
i have the old and new testament,
  and the emergence of
                      a 2000 year old hidden
mingling of the two, beginning with the prophets
Jesus and Isaiah...
                               one was a Jew that lived as a courtesan
and was cut-in-half...
the other was a Jew that became militant and later
made sure that Muhammad was also a militant
prophet starting off from a non-militant position
of mere merchant... according to the historian Josephus...
the compendium of the profanity of
tetragrammaton came with the historian Josephus
at the rule of Nero... hence the quickened
book of revelation being written...
                       once "the" beast reigned...
       it's no wonder that the two books are so unknown
in christianity...
            the fact is that the simultaneousness of
the emergence of nag hammadi and the dead sea scrolls
being simultaneous meant that the two old devils
of christianity and judaism would firmly diverge,
make divorce... and make secularism married to islam's
antagonism as the last blind-man fondling the elephant...
   i can't be jew because i'm not circumcised,
but i can't be christian in my liberalism to accept
the anarachy steering away from church,
   and family... or nation and federalism...
and i know, that's obscure; i just can't see
trans-gender ******* as a priority for humanity...
i can understand wearing a mismatching pair of socks...
but genitelia? that can't be jewish...
that has to be egyptian...
that has to be egyptian in terms of undermining
a jewish psyche...
                worthy of a crucifix... meaning that jo and m
really did travel to egypt and escaped herod...
               but je suis was cought up in the egyptians
taking rule and i bet one ******* duck-quack
that je suis was robbed from being capable of
conjuring up a dream... i bet je suis
couldn't dream... all the icons point toward that
crusade analogy.
                 it's still no excuse for the koran plebs
getting so frustrated that they have no archeological
involvemnt in the matters of today,
which is why they turned to brute and bully...
because they have been excluded from the archeological
findings, they can only do the meanest thing imaginable
and stage a violent insurection into the dialogue...
but since they're not really welcome,
and because they're actually talking *******
they can only resort to terrorism...
   it's a harsh reality to be met against...
    i'm not surprised they resort to terrorism,
given that they have no archeological grounding to
introduce themselves...
               into a civilised conversation...
          i'll probably bemoan this fact for
about 10 seconds... and then laugh for the next 10 minutes.
Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
  As man’s ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
  Although thy breath be rude.
Heigh **! sing, heigh **! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
        Then heigh **, the holly!
        This life is most jolly.

      Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
      That dost not bite so nigh
        As benefits forgot:
      Though thou the waters warp,
      Thy sting is not so sharp
        As friend remember’d not.
Heigh **! sing, heigh **! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
        Then heigh **, the holly!
        This life is most jolly.
MereCat Oct 2014
I have studied **** Germany
Someone stood and preached to me
All the ‘important’ names
All the ‘important’ dates
I wrote them down like longshore secrets
And debated over them
Like they were the pencil sharpenings
With which I littered the floor
‘Excellent analysis’ she said
I have even stood by the gas chambers
And the gallows
At Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp
And written insensitive poetry about insensitivity
But have I heard of Hans Litten?
Of course I haven’t.
I have stood in the Berlin gestapo office
And formed philosophies that feel more like profanities
Wondering how it can ever be appropriate
To take a school trip to a genocide
But tonight my ‘important’ education
Feels like the greatest atrocity
My guilty ignorance beats almost unbearably
Around my rib-cage
And waits for the shatter and the shards
Because I have never heard of Hans Litten
We all know six million
But who knows the six million?
We remember names that we stored away
Because mentioning them in an essay
Might bring about a higher grade
Displaying ‘a highly developed and complex level of understanding’
We remember names like we remember shopping lists
Or science lessons;
A few particular points
No attachment necessary
In fact, clinical detachment is far more becoming
When it comes to essay questions
They never told us about Hans Litten
Or about the men who also ran in the race to be in history books
Or about their mothers
And their fathers
And the people they shared cells with
And the people they shared graves with
My God, they never told us about Hans Litten
And Hans Litten is better known
Than most of those phantom dead
Those cracked-open voices that dared to raise
Until they were too loud for anything but the conveyer-belt
Concentration Camp system.
And the thing is that six million is not such a big number anymore
Because there are 49,506,514 views of Simon Cowell crying
And nearly 300 million of One Direction singing a song which is not so beautiful after all
And people are so desensitized to the number six million
That they believe that the world
Would not have enough **** in it
Without them posting hatred after obscenity after hatred in the YouTube comments
And Hans Litten, I can’t help feeling that I’ve failed you
My generation could tell you the private lives of their idols
But would not know your name
And we will still pour into school on Monday morning
And chorus our tireless fatigue and our lack of motivation for life
And I will still pour into school on Monday morning
And let myself complain and moan and grapple for sympathy.
I’ve acquired this abstracted self-loathing recently
That is less a hatred of myself than a hatred of what I have made of myself
Of my ingratitude and self-centred inability
To compose poems that do not start and end with Me
And of my procrastination and my ceaseless desire
To live something other than the life I’ve been given
Like I asked for extra cheese and got given Margharita
****.
I’m insufferable.
Hans Litten your list of injuries was ten times longer
than the list of all the wrongs I’ve had done against me.
Last night I went to watch a play called Taken At Midnight... it's about Hans Litten, in case you hadn't guessed... it tore me to shreds and then made whatever was left of me want to be ripped up too.

It is brilliant.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/theatre-reviews/11138692/Taken-at-Midnight-Chichester-Festival-Theatre-review-harrowing.html
toBelieve Oct 2015
I see you,
Drinking from the water of inhumanity
Smoking the leaves of ingratitude
And eating the seeds of hypocrisy.

Observing you,
I found myself drunk of sorrow.

And it makes me,
Drink from the water of insomnia
Smoke the leaves of melancholy
And eat the seeds of solitude

So I can, finally,
Be drunk of madness
Raj Arumugam Oct 2010
Come, listen all -
listen to a very gentle fable
Of Donkey, Dog and Man
and the friendship
amongst these three



1
Donkey and Dog are loyal servants;
they’ve served the same master
all their lives

It’s night now and
Donkey and Dog sleep
in the courtyard
while Master
snores in the house

A thief sneaks in
through the gate
and donkey whispers
as gently as he can:
Hey, dog…There’s an intruder;
Why don’t you bark and let master know?


And the old Dog growls as
quietly as he can:
Why don’t you bray aloud
and raise the alarm?


Hey, but you’re the dog
and you’re man’s best friend,
Donkey whispers in the dark



Man’s best friend, eh?
says Dog.
But is man the dog’s best friend?
I’ve served the master for ages
and now that I’m old he neglects me
and is talking about taking another dog.
I bet he’ll have you skinned alive
when you’re dead!
To the dogs with him!
You bray if you like.



2

Oh I’ve never seen
a more ungrateful being,
Donkey says.
Master is the best
and though he treats
us harsh
it’s all for our own good.
But your ingratitude offends me
and for the sake of decency and justice
and for all the values I hold dear
I shall have to do
a watchdog’s duty instead.


And with that
the donkey brays aloud
and the cacophony is heard
in all the village
and the thief runs away as quickly as he can;
and the master comes running out with a huge stick
and seeing the donkey braying madly
with no cause but its own stupidity
the master beats the donkey well and proper
till all his own hands ache
and he goes back to bed


And now Dog and Donkey
lie down again together
in the courtyard
and Dog says to the quiet Donkey:
Looks like you just found out
how it feels to be man’s best friend!
O HEART, be at peace, because
Nor knave nor dolt can break
What's not for their applause,
Being for a woman's sake.
Enough if the work has seemed,
So did she your strength renew,
A dream that a lion had dreamed
Till the wilderness cried aloud,
A secret between you two,
Between the proud and the proud.
What, still you would have their praise!
But here's a haughtier text,
The labyrinth of her days
That her own strangeness perplexed;
And how what her dreaming gave
Earned slander, ingratitude,
From self-same dolt and knave;
Aye, and worse wrong than these.
Yet she, singing upon her road,
Half lion, half child, is at peace.
Nigel Morgan Jun 2015
Columbine upon my desk,
a dusty pinkish
unstable shade of purple -
aquilegia vulgaris -
thought to be thankless,
even a sign of ingratitude
this Orphelian flower.
Mine has ten doves in a circle,
though tradition claims it seven:
Holy Mary’s footsteps,
Isaiah’s Gifts of the Spirit.
For me it must remain those final bell-like
chords of Messiaen’s La Columbe,
described in his mother’s verse as
'Cloches d’angoisse et larmes d’adieu’.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/y4przscr0d9t7to/Columbine.jpg?dl=0
Vernon Waring Oct 2015
SUNDAY, JUNE 7...

I fell between the cushions of his super-comfy sofa
with pretzel salt snuggled between my pages.
Another sign of disrespect for inanimate objects
includes cat ***** stains that now soil my beautiful
maroon leather cover embossed in silver with his
initials. This guy is very mercurial, very spontaneous.
He just started a brand new job last week and he's
decided to leave it because it's "just not" for him.
He's planning to move away to another city, reinvent
himself - and revise his resume -  so he can next
fit into a blue chip job he's never held at some Fortune
500 company he's never worked in...and probably
never will. He's also planning to magically "become"
a Wharton grad which he knows will require a very
attractive resume sure to score points with head
honchos, much more impressive than the associates
degree he actually acquired from some obscure
community college in Jersey. He also plans to "create"
a wife and two kids. Employers, he believes, like
a family man, not a bachelor with a roving eye. Family
men get raises, promotions, they move up, they fit in.
This guy knows no boundaries and he's got it all
figured out. His fictional alter ego will escape detection
because he's pretty certain most companies never
really check the backgrounds of potential employees,
but he qualifies all this by confiding that such a generalization
may not be 100% true.
________________

MONDAY­, JUNE 8...

He has yet again changed his mind. He's not going to
leave the job after all. Some big shot at the company
complimented him on how quickly he's learning the
ropes. Looks like that career renovation is no longer
on the table. And one of the new hires - a redhead
named Lisa - who started the same day he did asked
him to join her for lunch. He digs the forward type so
he says "yes" and it turns out they clicked.
________________

TUE­SDAY, JUNE 9...

****** Day for me! He's now decided to forego any
more diary entries although he refers to me as his
"journal" - obviously a more butch designation than
the antique genteel "diary" of years past. He's decided to
stay on the job, stay focused, blah, blah, blah. Being a diary
is no walk in the park. I've given him all these pages
to confide in...I've given him an outlet for his deepest
thoughts, his wildest dreams, his secret desires, and now
he's ditching me like a cheap suit. (Pardon the cliche.)
Excuse me as I prepare for the old heave-**.
Ingratitude is always a *****!
Blow, blow, thou winter wind
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-**! sing, heigh-**! unto the green holly:
Most freindship if feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then heigh-**, the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze thou bitter sky,
That does not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As a friend remembered not.
Heigh-**! sing, heigh-**! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then heigh-**, the holly!
This life is most jolly.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)
Marian May 2013
Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
   Thou art not so unkind
      As man’s ingratitude;
   Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
      Although thy breath be rude.
Heigh-**! sing, heigh-**! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
   Then, heigh-**, the holly!
      This life is most jolly.


   Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
   That dost not bite so nigh
      As benefits forgot:
   Though thou the waters warp,
      Thy sting is not so sharp
      As friend remembered not.
Heigh-**! sing, heigh-**! unto the green holly...

William Shakespeare  **1564-1616
Thia Jones Mar 2014
Time passes, as time does
we text about this and that
inconsequential things
life and other chit chat

Then I confess I miss you
you say you miss me too
your virtual return is immanent
can we pick up once more
from where you left?
you ask me to please, please say yes
how can I refuse?
that's not something I can do
not when the one who asks is you

Yet something in me has changed
my inner subby needs to emerge
the one who made that clear
stands in the wings, cajoling
and when your return is delayed, I succumb

Then, when you arrive it's no contest
I'm yours, there's no doubt
you offer me your Dominance too
that's something you feel you can do
it'll suit you better than subbing
I have doubts this is the best path for you
at least, until you've learned to let go
but I can't be the hand to guide you
at least not now,
not at this point of my own journey

And though I know you can't really be mine
still my need for you outweighs all these things
only with you can my heart have wings
and I accept on these terms
I'd accept on any terms at all
because life without you is unthinkable

We build castles that are too large or too small
we build pubs and houses that aren't castles at all
then you find one the right size
with rooms to explore
I furnish it when you're not there
hang art on the walls and more

Though I call you 'Mistress'
we carry on as before
until the day when suddenly
that word means more

Out of the blue my kiss is refused
no explanation, no warning
the rules have changed
I'm hurt and confused
the pain goes deep
and I'm rebuked
I blink back the tears and slowly adjust
this isn't unwelcome, just too sudden
but we get through
then both surrender to lust

That night the emotions flood
as do the tears
something beyond sub drop seizes me
there's the fear that from now on
the protocol will rule
that spontaneity is gone
that the ease of communication is broken
that too much will now remain unspoken
the initial hurt of your rejection
of my kiss returns
deep down inside it burns

I have to explain
that a gradual path
would have caused less pain
that negotiation and consent
are needed at each step
but you hear criticism and ingratitude
that I'm rejecting your gift
when what I wanted all along
was to build something that was ours
not to have another's form of control
adopted and replicated by you
that it was always about loving you for you
not so much about needing you
to be a particular way
but you're not hearing
and you say we won't try that again
it turns out to have been the last time
we made even virtual love

Once again the gaps grow
the distances expand
your appearances are further apart
I feel the need to say something
to tell you I feel I'm expected
to give out more and more
while getting less and less in return
that something needs to change

But when I see you next
you steal those very words from my mouth
and turn them against your other half
who constantly asks more from you
but offers less to meet your needs
(those same needs I'd give anything,
have already given so much, to meet)

But I bite my tongue
reflect on the irony
and offer you more
offer you sympathy
try to make it better
because I love you

After that, things move faster
her body clock is ticking down
she needs to feel new life grow within
but this is a step beyond for you
not a thing you're ready for
you move out yet it's several days
before you tell me this

I'm hurt again that you didn't
immediately turn to me
yet this is the seed of realisation
that we won't ever be
though the seed doesn't yet take root
for a while yet, hope remains

Then you say you're broken
you stand at the crossroads
say you know which way to turn
say you know your relationship
isn't right and must end

I weep for your pain
yet am filled with hope
that soon it'll be resolved
that at last I'll hold you
and call you mine

Later I learn that even as you tell me this
you tell another that you know you must return
yet are tempted by the attention of another
I wonder if this temptress
is chocolate valentine Argus woman
or yet another so far unmentioned

When next we talk
you have returned to her
yet have made your position clear
by staying out all night
and my heart sinks
it matters not who or what
entertained or sustained you
through that night
but that once again
you hadn't turned to me

I try to make these feelings known
we argue
and neither of us
can do this
any more...
This is the third part of my 'After Midnight Suite.
Number 8 Mar 2011
From the other room
I listen as you explain the many, many, many
reasons, things, times, and appointments
that necessarily mean
the end
of us

The otherness and incidentals
of the often forgotten
details and to-dos
of lives
better
and happier lived

From the other room
I listen as you describe your life in words of
painful regret, missed opportunities and hopeless futures
that don’t exist
so very much
for me

The pain and ingratitude
of a poor life
disrespect and disregard
becoming the
ante
of daily living

From the other room
I listen as you check emails and vmails and texts
of agreement, refreshment, and immediate joy
that shower down
from new confidantes
not me

The pleasure of escaping
from the marital mundane
dancing and drinking
re-becoming
the woman
admired

From the other room
I remember the choices we made
when agreement was agreeable and available
that made lives
worth
living well

The simpleness of a look
the knowing confidence
day in and day out
when someone,
You,
cared.

         10.iii.10
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2020
i sporadically entertain my uncle's ex-girlfriend
at the house from time to time:
don't ask me why...
    she dated him when i was...
8 through to 11...
                       donkey's years ago...
days when the st. valentine's park in ilford,
essex... was like: alice in wonderland...
it had tennis courts, it had a mini golf course,
it had an open air swimming pool...
   it had exotic bird cages...
                                it had row boats
on the pond...
                 i mean: if my ex-girlfriend was
still visiting me...
                  i don't know: rather... i don't want
to know... my uncle is rather estranged and
that's that... i saw her a year ago:
i made her a curry...
                         i saw her today: in between
the odd house job: flinging concrete etc.
i made...
         she could practically be a stranger...
but that's... exactly the point...
here's to extracting water from a stone...
   i'll write this and it will not really tickle my
fancy...
    once, perhaps, not so long ago -
                    i'm just fudge-packing myself
into a lullaby of lolz... from the "narrative"
prescribed to me, you, "us" by the...
ahem... philanthropists...
                    hell: better with the misanthropes...
at least they are not scheming
philanthropists...
        indeed a "polyphony" of tastes...
which is a curry...
                    nowhere in europe except in england
this demand for the blues and the Raj...
the compliment:
   'this tastes like a restaurant dish...'
  and she wasn't kidding... she did bring a bottle
of wine and a bottle of gin...
i did used about 6 chicken *******...
i hoped that with the coconut rice
and the naan breads i'd have enough for
4 people today and for 3 people tomorrow...
    em... yeah...
                i watched her like i might have
been a woman and cooked for a coal miner
in a 20th century Silesia...
              the sri lankan curry with apple cider
vinegar and the coconut milk blah blah...
but... hell... apparently i can save myself
for a night (once in a while) from
self-deprecating humour and take a word
of a stranger as: rigid dogma...
      that i can cook better than i can write...
            i felt sorry for... having read enough
of Knausgaard and know: fish-fingers...
   scandinavian food?
   oh, you mean like two days ago when
i figured: rödbetsallad - sure... if you have
the right meat... but it doesn't **** to know that...
raw beets with carrots an onion
   chilly and some greens with a....
balsamic vinegar, orange juice, olive oil
and dijon mustard is a **** good dressing...
i mean: hide the japanese sushi..
give me raw herrings in a creamy / tangy sauce...
baltic "sushi": suit you, sir... oooh...
fastest eaten dish in town...
    tow the town across the atlantic -
settle the score on the coast of maine...
or nova scotia: scou-shia...
         nova orbis...
                 i cook good food... that's so much
more comforting that scribble these little details...
after all... i pride myself on the arsenal of spices
i own... whoever has their nukes can keep 'em!
i drop one black cardamom grenade and we're
in for a proper party!
the kolhapuri masala - which is poetry -
a "polyphony" of sorts:

10 dried red chillies
2 tbsp sesame seeds
1 tbsp coriander seeds
1 tbsp cumin seeds
2 tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp black peppercorns
1 tsp fenugreek seeds
6 cloves
1 tbsp black mustard seeds
50 g unsweetened desiccated coconut
½ tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp red chilli powder

i surprised star anise is not invoked -
surprise me less: i am not - no black cardamom?
it must have been a different masala -
obviously a textbook use of ginger / garlic pulp
and turmeric... and onions...
and tomatoes...
and how is it that the "west indies" survived
so intact: was it purely on the argument from
sanskrit - perhaps...
who am i... little ****** from a place
where haggis might have originated...
but most certainly a type of broth that
uses... cow intestines: honeycomb tripe...
well... that's just ******* spectacular!
we're also the people that will eat
a chicken heart goulash / chicken stomachs...
nothing is wasted but...
hell... to have the oil fields of arabia
or the spice garden of india?
              tough question!

what was or is leftover?
   the parsley revolution?
        the basil    "
                            coriander?
     what was haggis... is still haggis...
and neeps and tatties?!
        allspice - nutmeg and paprika...
bland (apple imports from "kazakhstan")
europe of old...
blushing spanish oranges...
        whale fat from the north...
chimichurri: give me curry for an oak
of beef: a stump of it... argentinian -
give me spices for a steam engine...
                   trade offs...
                 and that buddha soft-patch of
inquisitive philosophy spin-offs in
the western canon: feng shui pseudo-zen
or tao...
     unlike selling protestantism
when none arrived with the spanish toward
the west or the port-of-geese in hai!nippon!

followed up by listening to some iron maiden:
after all: they did release brave new world
at a time when their x-factor etc. days were
over so they could delve into hiring a new
army of listeners: they weren't going to
sit on their laurels like led zeppelin et al.,

- only prior i watched two woodland pigeons
battle on a pergola i erected and weaved
a wisteria into it... the female was perched looking
on... i never imagined woodland pigeons
to hold such ferocity in their slender guise -
they would jump on top of each other
in an imitation of mating and with their
feet as fangs rip into the manes of each other...
throats throbbing with a short-of-breath pulse...

i broke the battle by having to pass
under the pergola with bags of sand and cement...
as man and with dealings in imitating
nature:
    well... a history as an etymological affair of sorts:
hardly...
   pigeon: gołąb (******),
              holub (czech),
                         golub (croat),
               golob (slovenian),
                     porumbel (romanian),
        balandis (lithuanian),
               galamb (hungarian)...

   looks like... the closest etymological
cousins of a ******'s pigeon is:
the croat and the *** pigeon...
               but... uncle auntie here...
pidge-on: pij-off:
      the german           taube...
the french pigeonne...
               picciona (italian)...
                                paloma (spanish)...
   "hence" the romanian porumbel...
but not the alt-saxon taube...
     or the norwegian    due...
or the swedish: duva...
           estonian tuvi finnish kyyhkynen...

do i dare see what...
not to bother dear mater mortuus...
greek!  περιστέρι (well... sure looks like...
a future of pigeon... em...)
turkish!                   güvercin...

almost like the story of Islam is a story
that ended with Muhammad
and began with Ishmael ibin
     Hagar the housemaid for Abraham's
wife Sarah...
     almost that: "same ****, different cover"
scenario...
but with words...
   and words alone:  after all...
is there any relevant history outside of
etymology - given that... napoleon invade
russia ****** invaded russia:
i.e. that shamelessness of repetition?

it's so apparent: to be hung-up on the trifles
of "love":
more like... the barrage of youth and hormonal
cocktails of agonies that must end in defeat
and monasticism at best...
"defeat" is rather an open word...
becoming tamed with: retreat and introspection...
she asked me to get her shawl
as the sun was setting and
while bringing it to her i had a sniff of it...
no perfumes... just the scent of skin
and a woman in her 50s...
   the smell of: an old maid... not a ******...
an old maid...
but how refreshing: tame make-up...
nothing too protagonist or shock-circus!

second slurps from an uncle's engagement
of ***** in pigtails?
well... it's just nice to hear a stranger
compliment your food...
esp. since this wasn't some formal setting
for a restaurant...
if i could earn on the basis of peanuts
and compliments and...
               how michelangelo was...
           no not constipated...
no not conscripted...
        not contained...
                        pope julius II...
michelangelo was... COMMISSIONED...
   well... what a noble begotten proof of...
the truth of labour...
            so much for the derelict promise:
the ugly work - although still towing
a grand scheme of aesthetic with it:
akin to plumbing or electrical scrutiny -
or waterproofing -
   but as i have learned:
   the work less scene does gravitate toward
repaying a man with a sense
of ingratitude -
for the work itself -
   after all: there's no work of art to slobber over...
to guise oneself in a fetish for
sending postcards...
the work itself harbours an ingratitude
to the person who performs it...
that "minor detail" of something working
without fail...
hardly a bureaucratic competition:
grizi-piórek (a slang term for a bureaucrat)
literally: feather-nibbler...

    the bewildered youth of man and that
which comes of him in the later posit of life
as aging - for not enough has been
cited concerning old maids -
the crippling opportunism of girls
that turns us into comic atlasas with
only poses to a name -

     i have to hide my admiration for old men:
esp. those that write their little
jokes: praying on existential shot-hand
and their unshakeable rationale -

a brief interlude into a concept of a new
life: my uncle's ex-girlfriend:
i've been to the brothel:
the "joys" of flesh *** flesh are such
unwelcome avenues that i know
how desperately i ******* to smother
the solipsist in me but at the same time
nullify the ****** out of
respect for a caricature of conversation:

that the stars were mentioned and that
venus or mars was among them...
by the geographic posit of edinburgh:
and the firth of forth i held with a certainty
a more than concept of n.e.w.s.:
north east west and south...
but north east london: that gargantua is no
edinburgh...

only today i posited myself on mashisters' hill
and the mouth of the thames...
and where the dartford bridge is
and where canary wharf is...
it doesn't help much to travel into
central london and stand before Thames...
to finally flip out a compass...
this odd river that has no flow
but a tide...
a river with no mountains...
no Vistula no Danube...
this cruel passable detail:
  a river without mountains with
a tide but now flow...

decipher for me this grey murk of eels
wriggling hollow...
she asked me: is it difficult to go back
"home"...
burden by the tired toiling among
so many monolinguals:
can i tell apart the accents on these isles?
that i can tell a scot from an eire-fiction
that the welsh still: hope for god grant
them their same old future tongue...

veneti...
                  veneti...
                                         veneti:
it is that it has become more and more
difficult to leave "home" than arrive
at it... but from populist english so
thoroughly breeding into a stiffening sire
and clamour of pict sacrilege -
grand echoes of unused words...

old maid who graces the same existential
pangs as me: aimless hollow head spermatoid...
after all the hormonal whirlwinds pass
and there comes a second nakedness...
before trust and a spontaneous jumping
to conclusions that never arrive at anything
more than the generic cul de sac...

to have to disbelieve mothers...
             it is necessary to have to disbelieve mothers...
for no greater grandiosity incumbent...
a brief interlude and how i can:
simply peacock-strut... exfoliate like
i might... have forever succumbed to
the latin variation of bulimia and that old
variant of ****...
willingly running ****-naked into
a riddling throb of nettles...
with disembodiment and an aspect
of freely arrived at nerve extensions
clinging to an ancient eucharist of
tentacles that the tongue would only counter
having to bite and nibble and suckle
on a mint leaf: with the body's proposal
of immersion in nettles...

to make rous of numbing ****** details:
no ****** from taking  a ****...
no litany of broken words:
clinging to consonant prone onomatopoeias...
crude ascertaining archaic:
purity of vowels: mongrel heart and soul
whilst towing... a mongol or two...
pictures of fortress crimea... the grand sicz...

only because she was not a woman
in her prime: a new orientation that doesn't begin
with me in middle age having amounted
enough poison apples and **** frenzies
and all those lies spoken during ***...
at best: even in the brothel...
for the love of god i dared not speak...
so much for anything
when *** has to invoke words...
not the silence not the pulsating vowel
throttle...

                    i linger for the last linear concept
of unnerving details...
that last came with these words
and will last revel in them alone...
for the greater audience i...
i have no scheme to usurp the pop from
the better hidden...
that some things have to:

let "them" have their feast!
once i am wed to the mother over mothers:
when death finally tallies my shadow
as her ******-on from fear loitering
of shrapnel!
let the people have their feast!
once i am wed to the mother of all mothers:
- but given the inbetween leave
me to my cenobite affairs of a bedroom
i keep for a nursery of moths...
to ward off the spiders with my drunken
breath...
give me clarity in the depths of
a bottle's end met...
            
  - so this is what it feels like to arm-wrestle
with a hand strapped to the bone crushing
revelation of hanging on a crucifix -
so this is what nodding with approval
feels like when competing to the end scenario
when lying erratic and scared
on the tablature of the falling guillotine...

it must do! i feel a need to concern myself
with feeling than with thinking:
i despise this celebration of numbing
objectivity: as someone once said:
subjectivity is the only truth...
after all: i am subjected to...
i am firstly subjected to...
only later i object: i objectify:
i give me spatial pardons and awareness...

as a subject under the protection
of a queen i am: first come first served...
not last... in this secular objectification
policy of "what if" futures...
i answer to the queen:
i am subject of the queen:
i am subjected by the queen...
such a ****** party to attend with no
god and this object cranium per crown...
that it has to become so impersonal
that the h'american free verse poets:
that elizabeth II has so much more
than mere grandma edifice...

i am subjected to something prior:
only later can i object to it...
some variation of a "double negation":
a talk over more gin and tonic...
or bourbon...
how could subjectivity become
so defamed... like it was forever a lesser
variation of the res extensa /
thought attache...
that subjectivity is lesser has to come
from people who only regurgitate
a once fabled scientific positivism of
a new and glorious age of Eiffel...

objectively "speaking"...
the regurgitated "facts": it's not like
science is even the incessant harangue!
from voice and a well:
an echo and a re-:
                             by now: there are "concerns"
as to why the echo fades and is
not gravitating toward perpetual
momentum...

               by now to revel in tired bones,
sinew... in the perfumes of burning fat:
vegan protests... vegan wishy-washy...
that somehow in a future 2 years from now...
the cows will have the eyes
akin to petted critters like that of:
fortune of future:
demands of cats and dogs...
i stated today: big cats' eye do not
hollow out... there is no serpent-esque
"myopia" of the eyes...
cats are spies for the serpent kingdom...
disguised as fur-*****...
but intact the blistering choke
of the slither... eyes that ****...
eyes that could feed the most blue-bodied
extract from the speark-head
of mammalian hierarchy...

   what little dough for slaughter eyes me
in the fashioned cow..
i leave all honesty for the dogs:
among the tying with bones...
but never these bonsai tigers...
heavy shields of hipolites...

                             - is there a need to drink
and write... while marrying yourself
to the barrage of unnecessary bricks
that align themselves to the cuddle-cradles
of kcal-atoms?
     i thought that drinking was
synonymous with exfoliation...
hell begot peacock-strutting...
              old maid didn't have me leeching
for ****-practice tendencies to posit
proofs...
             at some point i am going
to have to leave people without a comfort
of a diatribe...
i'll extend my over-arching scrutiny and
tell you:
on this basic base prize...
i leave no selling of satellite...

come 2am and i'm still awake and drinking:
it doesn't matter...
what matters is...
being invested in a repetition
and the glorified emblem for all that's
the worth of tomorrow:
the conjunction barricade of english:
my queen's last ordeal...
well **** me... it has to be my queen's
last ordeal before i **** up to the h'arab
sheikhs...
n'est ce-pas?

oh... wait... like the french didn't look
glum and whatnot...
like the past wasn't a pass at rebirth...
like venice didn't pirate away details of
constantinople...
i am tired of guilt...
you... italian fuccofinickyfuckers
bless venice... now! now! have complaints
concerning the hagia sophia...
because who isn't to abandon the greeks:
because of greek pride...
which is all that little: pride...
designated to books:
greek schoolchildren... will not read...
some ancient anthem of
northern barbarians: perhaps the bulgars...
most certainly not the... island-bound
mongrel...

            the english will not be reminded:
yes... that much is true:
but they can be executed for a lineage
of inconsistency...
that poland can somehow be associated
with polar bears...
hell... "we" are associated with
bisons... and storks...
          no need to educate the new
or keeping an ordeal of the old...
let's call my mediocre
the no-mans'-land rupture...
it's not exactly dervish planned territory:
citing india as borrowing extension
with afghanistan, pakistan,
bangladesh, sri lanka...
            who am i buddha tow: juggle...
jumble wisconsin proto: or a collective:
pan-european...
mingling justices... arms told to be torn
off...
   romance from 18th century europe:
kissing the feet of Kiev...
while in the western: what if...
the sea affords us... no need teasing
a wait for a tide...
      this little scare and...
      my little future of cain that...
arrived at a blinding prospect of
nationhood that has to retain a presence
akin to Siberia...

belly-tow flipside an agony of
this fissure of gill and borrowed depths of
searching for the dolphin aided dive...
i have no befriending lefts...
had i the rights i'd make them
pronounced: enough to champion
diacritical scrutinies...
but no but now...

- how is that:
   -rhetoric          has reached a fever;
and a pitch to make
a ***** into a jerusalem
as a prefix towing exemplar...
before a noun
and a yankie akin to
pre-
          variation of pro-
               not withering into the anti-
cyst and some future be told...
                      chimes from haven:
and the pennies from ginger-root borrow
of lobotomy...
        
   gutting a pig: glorifying a monkey...
chanting: freed red sox...
                a somewhat: hives
of Boston... while we all have to retort
to a question...
not because we woz all hebrewz...
but coz whizz or: or else...
worst hinterland:
an estonia: that there's
more of new york than there's
of this.... hinterland...
of... convincing: this is not "asiatic"...
this is still DOS europa...
bulging to bug the bothersome
chastised bullock off a bull
and the silent churn tow charge...

some variation of a pre-
and a self- prefix:
          to compound this custard
nostalgia sweet-tooth jesus h'americana...
same old variation of how
estonia is about the sizing up
of new york: and...
              
                     my own sowing tow-tie
this little increment this little
wave this loiter masquerade...
   such privy to make a choice!
from the slaves toward a slam-dunk..
otherwise making rummanations
to towing a sanctity of old pauper
Warsaw...
                 my little little first and last idle
concern that's a Cairo agitated.
L'aurore se levait, la mer battait la plage ;
Ainsi parla Sapho debout sur le rivage,
Et près d'elle, à genoux, les filles de ******
Se penchaient sur l'abîme et contemplaient les flots :

Fatal rocher, profond abîme !
Je vous aborde sans effroi !
Vous allez à Vénus dérober sa victime :
J'ai méconnu l'amour, l'amour punit mon crime.
Ô Neptune ! tes flots seront plus doux pour moi !
Vois-tu de quelles fleurs j'ai couronné ma tête ?
Vois : ce front, si longtemps chargé de mon ennui,
Orné pour mon trépas comme pour une fête,
Du bandeau solennel étincelle aujourd'hui !

On dit que dans ton sein... mais je ne puis le croire !
On échappe au courroux de l'implacable Amour ;
On dit que, par tes soins, si l'on renaît au jour,
D'une flamme insensée on y perd la mémoire !
Mais de l'abîme, ô dieu ! quel que soit le secours,
Garde-toi, garde-toi de préserver mes jours !
Je ne viens pas chercher dans tes ondes propices
Un oubli passager, vain remède à mes maux !
J'y viens, j'y viens trouver le calme des tombeaux !
Reçois, ô roi des mers, mes joyeux sacrifices !
Et vous, pourquoi ces pleurs ? pourquoi ces vains sanglots ?
Chantez, chantez un hymne, ô vierges de ****** !

Importuns souvenirs, me suivrez-vous sans cesse ?
C'était sous les bosquets du temple de Vénus ;
Moi-même, de Vénus insensible prêtresse,
Je chantais sur la lyre un hymne à la déesse :
Aux pieds de ses autels, soudain je t'aperçus !
Dieux ! quels transports nouveaux ! ô dieux ! comment décrire
Tous les feux dont mon sein se remplit à la fois ?
Ma langue se glaça, je demeurais sans voix,
Et ma tremblante main laissa tomber ma lyre !
Non : jamais aux regards de l'ingrate Daphné
Tu ne parus plus beau, divin fils de Latone ;
Jamais le thyrse en main, de pampres couronné,
Le jeune dieu de l'Inde, en triomphe traîné,
N'apparut plus brillant aux regards d'Erigone.
Tout sortit... de lui seul je me souvins, hélas !
Sans rougir de ma flamme, en tout temps, à toute heure,
J'errais seule et pensive autour de sa demeure.
Un pouvoir plus qu'humain m'enchaînait sur ses pas !
Que j'aimais à le voir, de la foule enivrée,
Au gymnase, au théâtre, attirer tous les yeux,
Lancer le disque au ****, d'une main assurée,
Et sur tous ses rivaux l'emporter dans nos jeux !
Que j'aimais à le voir, penché sur la crinière
D'un coursier de I'EIide aussi prompt que les vents,
S'élancer le premier au bout de la carrière,
Et, le front couronné, revenir à pas lents !
Ah ! de tous ses succès, que mon âme était fière !
Et si de ce beau front de sueur humecté
J'avais pu seulement essuyer la poussière...
Ô dieux ! j'aurais donné tout, jusqu'à ma beauté,
Pour être un seul instant ou sa soeur ou sa mère !
Vous, qui n'avez jamais rien pu pour mon bonheur !
Vaines divinités des rives du Permesse,
Moi-même, dans vos arts, j'instruisis sa jeunesse ;
Je composai pour lui ces chants pleins de douceur,
Ces chants qui m'ont valu les transports de la Grèce :
Ces chants, qui des Enfers fléchiraient la rigueur,
Malheureuse Sapho ! n'ont pu fléchir son coeur,
Et son ingratitude a payé ta tendresse !

Redoublez vos soupirs ! redoublez vos sanglots !
Pleurez ! pleurez ma honte, ô filles de ****** !

Si l'ingrat cependant s'était laissé toucher !
Si mes soins, si mes chants, si mes trop faibles charmes
A son indifférence avaient pu l'arracher !
S'il eût été du moins attendri par mes larmes !
Jamais pour un mortel, jamais la main des dieux
N'aurait filé des jours plus doux, plus glorieux !
Que d'éclat cet amour eût jeté sur sa vie !
Ses jours à ces dieux même auraient pu faire envie !
Et l'amant de Sapho, fameux dans l'univers,
Aurait été, comme eux, immortel dans mes vers !
C'est pour lui que j'aurais, sur tes autels propices,
Fait fumer en tout temps l'encens des sacrifices,
Ô Vénus ! c'est pour lui que j'aurais nuit et jour
Suspendu quelque offrande aux autels de l'Amour !
C'est pour lui que j'aurais, durant les nuits entières
Aux trois fatales soeurs adressé mes prières !
Ou bien que, reprenant mon luth mélodieux,
J'aurais redit les airs qui lui plaisaient le mieux !
Pour lui j'aurais voulu dans les jeux d'Ionie
Disputer aux vainqueurs les palmes du génie !
Que ces lauriers brillants à mon orgueil offerts
En les cueillant pour lui m'auraient été plus chers !
J'aurais mis à ses pieds le prix de ma victoire,
Et couronné son front des rayons de ma gloire.

Souvent à la prière abaissant mon orgueil,
De ta porte, ô Phaon ! j'allais baiser le seuil.
Au moins, disais-je, au moins, si ta rigueur jalouse
Me refuse à jamais ce doux titre d'épouse,
Souffre, ô trop cher enfant, que Sapho, près de toi,
Esclave si tu veux, vive au moins sous ta loi !
Que m'importe ce nom et cette ignominie !
Pourvu qu'à tes côtés je consume ma vie !
Pourvu que je te voie, et qu'à mon dernier jour
D'un regard de pitié tu plaignes tant d'amour !
Ne crains pas mes périls, ne crains pas ma faiblesse ;
Vénus égalera ma force à ma tendresse.
Sur les flots, sur la terre, attachée à tes pas,
Tu me verras te suivre au milieu des combats ;
Tu me verras, de Mars affrontant la furie,
Détourner tous les traits qui menacent ta vie,
Entre la mort et toi toujours prompte à courir...
Trop heureuse pour lui si j'avais pu mourir !

Lorsque enfin, fatigué des travaux de Bellone,
Sous la tente au sommeil ton âme s'abandonne,
Ce sommeil, ô Phaon ! qui n'est plus fait pour moi,
Seule me laissera veillant autour de toi !
Et si quelque souci vient rouvrir ta paupière,
Assise à tes côtés durant la nuit entière,
Mon luth sur mes genoux soupirant mon amour,
Je charmerai ta peine en attendant le jour !

Je disais; et les vents emportaient ma prière !
L'écho répétait seul ma plainte solitaire ;
Et l'écho seul encor répond à mes sanglots !
Pleurez ! pleurez ma honte, ô filles de ****** !
Toi qui fus une fois mon bonheur et ma gloire !
Ô lyre ! que ma main fit résonner pour lui,
Ton aspect que j'aimais m'importune aujourd'hui,
Et chacun de tes airs rappelle à ma mémoire
Et mes feux, et ma honte, et l'ingrat qui m'a fui !
Brise-toi dans mes mains, lyre à jamais funeste !
Aux autels de Vénus, dans ses sacrés parvis
Je ne te suspends pas ! que le courroux céleste
Sur ces flots orageux disperse tes débris !
Et que de mes tourments nul vestige ne reste !
Que ne puis-je de même engloutir dans ces mers
Et ma fatale gloire, et mes chants, et mes vers !
Que ne puis-je effacer mes traces sur la terre !
Que ne puis-je aux Enfers descendre tout entière !
Et, brûlant ces écrits où doit vivre Phaon,
Emporter avec moi l'opprobre de mon nom !

Cependant si les dieux que sa rigueur outrage
Poussaient en cet instant ses pas vers le rivage ?
Si de ce lieu suprême il pouvait s'approcher ?
S'il venait contempler sur le fatal rocher
Sapho, les yeux en pleurs, errante, échevelée,
Frappant de vains sanglots la rive désolée,
Brûlant encor pour lui, lui pardonnant son sort,
Et dressant lentement les apprêts de sa mort ?
Sans doute, à cet aspect, touché de mon supplice,
Il se repentirait de sa longue injustice ?
Sans doute par mes pleurs se laissant désarmer
Il dirait à Sapho : Vis encor pour aimer !
Qu'ai-je dit ? **** de moi quelque remords peut-être,
A défaut de l'amour, dans son coeur a pu naître :
Peut-être dans sa fuite, averti par les dieux,
Il frissonne, il s'arrête, il revient vers ces lieux ?
Il revient m'arrêter sur les bords de l'abîme ;
Il revient !... il m'appelle... il sauve sa victime !...
Oh ! qu'entends-je ?... écoutez... du côté de ******
Une clameur lointaine a frappé les échos !
J'ai reconnu l'accent de cette voix si chère,
J'ai vu sur le chemin s'élever la poussière !
Ô vierges ! regardez ! ne le voyez-vous pas
Descendre la colline et me tendre les bras ?...
Mais non ! tout est muet dans la nature entière,
Un silence de mort règne au **** sur la terre :
Le chemin est désert !... je n'entends que les flots...
Pleurez ! pleurez ma honte, ô filles de ****** !

Mais déjà s'élançant vers les cieux qu'il colore
Le soleil de son char précipite le cours.
Toi qui viens commencer le dernier de mes jours,
Adieu dernier soleil ! adieu suprême aurore !
Demain du sein des flots vous jaillirez encore,
Et moi je meurs ! et moi je m'éteins pour toujours !
Adieu champs paternels ! adieu douce contrée !
Adieu chère ****** à Vénus consacrée !
Rivage où j'ai reçu la lumière des cieux !
Temple auguste où ma mère, aux jours de ma naissance
D'une tremblante main me consacrant aux dieux,
Au culte de Vénus dévoua mon enfance !
Et toi, forêt sacrée, où les filles du Ciel,
Entourant mon berceau, m'ont nourri de leur miel,
Adieu ! Leurs vains présents que le vulgaire envie,
Ni des traits de l'Amour, ni des coups du destin,
Misérable Sapho ! n'ont pu sauver ta vie !
Tu vécus dans les Pleurs, et tu meurs au matin !
Ainsi tombe une fleur avant le temps fanée !
Ainsi, cruel Amour, sous le couteau mortel.
Une jeune victime à ton temple amenée,
Qu'à ton culte en naissant le pâtre a destinée,
Vient tomber avant l'âge au pied de ton autel !

Et vous qui reverrez le cruel que j'adore
Quand l'ombre du trépas aura couvert mes yeux,
Compagnes de Sapho, portez-lui ces adieux !
Dites-lui... qu'en mourant je le nommais encore !

Elle dit, et le soir, quittant le bord des flots,
Vous revîntes sans elle, ô vierges de ****** !
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2016
the mystery of lawlessness is bound to the "transcendence" of phonetic application of phonetic encoding... some call it the whirlwind of confusion, but somes also call it E-près and then write Ypres... well, the confusion is all but apparent... i left that in "     " to stress the ambiguity... yes, the -s is optional... it's neither possessive or plural... that, i could have learned in prison, had i ever been a Becontree purple (bishop)... dictionary moment: cranium, crimson, cradle... cardinal... but all these positions of power are on their knees (there's me trying in vain to underline that), they gobble-quote what they quack... which ends up being a circumflex and a wanking hand, embedded with "touching" Adam. oh sure they bypassed the contemporary-of-contemporaries... it was never a grey-matter affair... it was always a gangster's drill-to-the-bone moment... wait till he squeems! i don't mind ******, given the person is dead, i just hate half-asked half-baked half-bollocked Dr. Dre attempts and then failing and then, like a whining dog with its tail between its legs going back to the mantra of mother fiction... i ******* hate it... i start looking like a ******* ******! i hate it... mutter fiktion... all i'll say of a Jew: don't ******* bring an argument against the Palatine Schting right now... i have as much abhorrence against all things Egyptian as i do about English tea, which i deemed liquidated Werther's Original... and then there's this Russian ***** i'd like to the village bicycle... she's had more spare parts done unto her than the working limbs ever gave her the tilt... feminism and the sacredness of all women... name that movie quiz show... charlize theron... aileen wuornos! woo-or-nose? never mind...
   a 1K spectacle at Hastings... that's invoking quid...
and you'll feel more tonguing mollusks than
                          touching a frightened ****** quill-thread's
worth of deer with that lingo, had you ever had one...
              MONSTER!      yes, they all dream of a breakfast
at tiffany's... and i'm john paul the 2nd, and
     henry viii was a joke nursery rhyme
  when charlie bid farewell to diana...
there was no:
         divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived...
there was only a car-crash... you can't make
    a king out of swine... well... you can... Sweyn...
                  but **** me... and i thought i was naive...
guess the ***** didn't kick in when it was supposed
to; once true journalism became the ****** of what
was once the ****** of the people...
             religion... journalism these days is rotten,
it's an Aristophanes to what's really happening
defined by Socrates... it's a schoolyard...
  journalism these days is best defined by Aristophanes;
and who's the globe-trotting-gobbler of all misfits
is not the would-be diarist of returning back to
the local, the usual, the sanctimonious mundaneness
of it all; you **** only once in your life,
you end up having a **** the rest of the time,
either with your hand, or with another body.

oh i'm not bothered about the "perverts"
(funny how only men are concerned with
being named that) -
                               that are watching you,
those third party incisors of
             the bony-**** (hey, you
could be yodeling **** by now) -
                          what i'm
worried about are the perverts that provide
the "perverts" with material,
it's all very much a Turning test...
               that robotics testing ground
of: i can't keep eye contact...
   the lesser privy of psychiatry?
eye contact and biting your nails...
if that can be engaged with and subsequently
avoided:
you're as chirp as chips! honey b.
          can anyone white
feel glamorous using language in order
to tell a joke?
   that's not the question, the question is:
why call it witty comedy...
     but still employ canned laughter?
it's discouraging, i don't know when the joke comes,
all i know is that the editor finds it funny
as that particular time,
                    and that's when he inserts canned
laughter... you can get it with the most
"witty" comedies there are...
  a bit like black girls trying to be white without
the frizz of afro curbing the afro with vaseline...
i've seen catfights over this "third limb"
scenario... afro is no go in catholic schools...
you have to... yum... cow lick that ****
into place... use vaseline...
      and that's an advert-and-a-half.
but you know what really ****** me off?
philosophers... they attacked poetry because
they couldn't care two-****'s worth about
whether language could be musical
or simply communicative... they're the ones
that wrote books without using
grammatical words such as verb, or noun,
because they made them excuses to
their muddles when hoarding from poetry
words of equivalent categorical weight
such as metaphor... so attacking the practice
of poetry, but then encouraging
the categorisation of the spoke
with poetic categories rather than grammatical
categories? can i see Hegel use a noun?
no... but i can see Heidegger using
  the metaphor with two labourers utilising
a hammer... that's the thing concerning
a building site: you either pass the time
tellings jokes... or you don't work
on a building site and hold a hammer
  and question whether someone else might need it...
philosophy is not about the existential dittoing
of the i...
    it's a book, but there's a new category of pronoun
due to universal bewilderment once childhood
finishes... ? opened the door, in stepped !
and said:
     shouldn't we make the stillness of the lake
into a mirror to banish but at the same time
          domesticate narcissus -
yes, replied ?, i'm glad you thought of it...
               domesticating demigods...
                    narcissus was a stillness of a lake,
sisyphus was a stone,
    hercules was bicep,
              achilles was a tendon...
                                       our current affairs are far
from democratic, but at least our history is,
  you get ******... you get protractor...
you get mona lisa... you get 'let 'em eat croissant!',
       too many points of divergence
  in a democracy to craft a convergent "democracy",
what the politics says is that we are all
slaves to what's called a *status quo
,
  i hate the fact that western "democracies" are
no longer tagged as merely status quo...
abuse of nouns... or how philosophy attacked poetry
and never spoke a theory concerned with
language per se being evidently categorised...
     how status quo is actually a -nomer without a mis-
of democracy...
  funny, the spanish... i have no idea
why can i have some ice-cream?
      has to become ?can i have some ice-cream¿
           i guess it's like the english " and '...
  who said what, and who said what for whom?
    is there a narrator?
      is that " + 1 people speaking, or quoting a quote?
or is that direct convo... '   ',
later retelling the tale "     ",
and after that it's all but an urban myth
akin to the kentucky fried mouse...
                the French that blè blé blé blé....
and somewhere in between was the Transylvanian comma...
hmm...
                             i mean... the perverts...
   thanks for the invitation, r.s.v.p.; of sure, great mixtape...
funny thing is... i never filmed myself jerking off...
        i do a 3-in-1... take a ****, take a ****... and
clean the ****-talk ducts of banal sprechen while
      watching a monkey strutting down memory lane
of when i had a girlfriend... and had to juggle,
and go for lunch, and this that and the other,
and a dalmation... or the reflection: but i had a mother...
huh?     i never felt this much ingratitude
for occupying the premises of the oval chamber
as i did creating a signature or inserting
  myself into the least convenient space to have
later come out off using only one digit's worth of
accountability... but hey... that's life.
          are you feeling the guilt trip drug pushed
by your mother from Syria, or Somalia?
     you owe her! you parasite... makes easier argument
for the billion Blue Indians and Chinese to get on
with it and eradicate the over-sensitive ivory dodo;
or at least in Siberia with the mongols...
              so i'm guessing eskimo is the new
                        squint to what's butchery ethics in Kosovo
as: look away... nothing to see.
               still... why call it a witty comedy when
you nonetheless have to utilise canned laughter?
             and that's a novel in itself...
? went up the stairs and ? met ! questioning <
whether ? should be questioning <... instead ! suggested
that ? should be questioned by >, since ? was already
on the 1st floor, having ascended the stairs from
the ground floor...         can you write me
     a novel... replacing all the correct pronoun usage
with mathematical ambivalence structured toward
a mostly unread existential dogmatism using
  mathematical punctuation?
no one will read it...but hey... either you do something
like that... or own a dog or a cat...
           and yes, they call them diacritical marks
when they're within letters... but in between letters?
they call them punctuation marks within words...
or the microcosm of punctuation: syllabification...
          the French just gobble down a lot of
  deviation... mon fhhhhhhhhhhhhré!
don't ask me how they do it... ask Nápŏlyon,
yes, the half-wit from Li-ą... oh no... not
                                               Monsieur Dynamite.
winter sakuras Sep 2016
People out there who think
they're alone I want to tell them
that they're not; we all suffer from
causes of misunderstandings,
ingratitude and from the rest of
the world's conflicts;the only difference is
how we react and live with it each day.
If we unite together, we can make a
difference and find true happiness
no matter how much they poison or suppress us
using society and reality's flaws. The first step is
to start doing your best so that
you won't have to be dependent on other people
So when the time comes to get out there
and truly find yourself, no one will be
able to hold you back. With desire comes strength
patience, and endurance, but it'll be worth it
in the end when you're free and independent....
when you're able to say you've found true happiness
and a place of where you belong.... and that you're no longer alone.
PNasarudheen May 2012
Oh! Indians!
In this land of Harischandra, India,
The wheel of life moves indifferent
Why this indolence, seek the media
Come to inferences sadly different.

Pre-independent great leaders sacrificed
Disinterested in material benefits; they
Rooted in struggle for freedom, though crucified
The dripping blood stirred their spirit gay.

But, now the blood and the spirit are diluted
Generations of ingratitude grow up lazy.
Sans sense of history, love and being looted
Whereto we move, Oh! Indians! on way greasy.

Awake brothers think why we are betrayed
Like a hound chased sheep we are strayed.
The Unspoken May 2014
I wish life had taught me differently.
Much more than pain.
Than the struggles I go through.
Rejection.
Betrayal.
Hate.
Ingratitude.

Growing up, I always wanted to be an angel.
I never wanted to be the reason why a tear should be shed.
I wanted to live harmless...
But the more good I did, the more the rude universe made a fool out of me.
Failed me.
Made me eat and drink from the tears of my mysery.

So now I sit, and as I listen to a song on my background,
am trying to clean up myself.
From all the dirt the world poured on me.
From all the hate that smeared my once white heart, black.

Am weary, because am not any different now.
I hurt too, when I chose to defend my soul.
I dont mean to.
If only I could go back to a baby again, I'd never wish to grow up.
I'd only be angry for a minute and the next holding your hand to the mall.
I wouldnt want to revenge so bad that my life would stand still.
I'd never be scared to love because of the fear of being rejected one day.
I'd cry when am uncomfortable and know that someone would come to wipe my tears away and comfort me to sleep.

But now am grown.
And Only God's grace can take me back to that place.
The place of joy despite the happenings around me.
The place of peace when someone walks away.

All I need now, is fixing.
Once again, Fix me Jesus...Fix me.*

©The Unspoken
I'm not in figedty and in perplex manner
whenever thine populace aren't in sync
onto bridging in the gaps
  that's not so befitting--
well-intentioned unique individuals
and somehow finding uniformity,
ways to connect, naturally,
--lies into thinking, sweetly,
of the welfare o' others firstly.

whilst entitled to do as
he pleases with himself
so far as it in no wise,
interferes with one's
rights to live at peace
with himself, otherwise!
in haste o' the modern-day- pressures,
is such a waste
in the Truest deepest sense,
we ought not missed eternal ideals
o' t'is' life's difficulties,
whoso, nonconformist,
mine earthly near at hand.
as we all set ourselves to bite a bit
o ' that and apiece
o' life's lion-shares
alongside pie in sky-
biting the hand that feeds us,
[ so to speak...]
for an average joe,
Suchlike give much thought....
Unbeknownst, waiting and longing
As yet benighted throughout the mooning
darknest and cloudest dilemmas
ALAS, lest alone, coincides
with dread o' e'ery dusk
smothering haziness
in love -when-it melts...
AS nightfall subsides
up the ole buttermilk sky- full o' star's twinkling - sighing and tearing apart..
unyielding enough unto my innermost
along with the falseness o' being trick
partly because o' being majestic
practically - realistic
In life's perpetual wisdom I so carry by far. .
Thereby,  we, but learned the storms o' life:
how anyone conducts-as-antagonistics?.
Pessimistics
Agnostics
solely wound up to grievous lull,
and wish to conquer undesirable
tendencies and kiss o ' death!
UPPERMOSTLY, vastly regained,
moreover, abreast-again
Oh my good gosh, it's therapuetic!
HENCEFORTH unto
picking
myself up after I have
been knocked - down-
TO KEEP on when e'erything seems to be against all odds o' the "blame game"...
back into nothing which spells boundlessly..
so can I right away pick up the pieces?

and overcome these unsettling uncertainties
o ' living life from day in and day out.
truth o ' the matter of - fact- of thine ingratitude world!
People in general get entangled
with busy-nest-web
amidst foreboding fretfulness
that unravels fleeting worries
about to and fro-
uproaring ebbs of tides
o ' the seafaring winds - blowing..
just as it is happening nowadays
up to cold-hearted - shoulders
moment full o' melancholies
thus thou,  one don't reach out
nor canst not care out and about
but just be on their own self
DOOMED himself ungrateful spirit!
seen as egotistical maniacs
contrary to my beliefs
and my faithfulness..
LET alone -Thee bestows
unceasingly triumphs
just because it's okay
not to be okay
to say the least
It's un-manly
and play- decoy
YET LIFE,
moves forward under
DIVINE CONVOY!
INASMUCH,  manipulative PLOY
to mind one's beauty
or disguise chaste morals
for the uttering dews to
injure or harm a'other
in turn to get "square even-steven"
SOWITH holds true with beguilement
think for a moment,
I'll meet that person
halfway between the lines
with patience and its silver linings. .
hasty words that slows any anger
whereforth, oblivion takes over scar!
that's luring to a smiling brood...
Imperfections are what we are made of,
Hey, the noblest prettiest
yeah, at bay with silence
I LOOK within....
First off, God on my side. ..
For He heareth at my bedside..

Within thine foundation
o ' thine goodness
Sure that ne'er fails. .
Hopefully, get rid o' the evil!
While I was dancing with the devil!
So does thereby,
wilst ever bubble up
if thou languish
to each its own rights
to dig his own heels..
and the outright layer of its color, creed,
and value from stern course o ' self-discipline,
such and such a rearrangement o' character
whom stands to live a sane contemplative state o' the mind..
launching anew,
better on higher-end
level o' spiritual
aspirations;
glamouring stance
Bestowing light to others
Sharing - LOVE for others
shouldn't be in rash,
indecisiveness,
rather, intellectually
with good reasonings,
good judgements
passed thine genial compliments,
WHEREIN, thou soled- loving-heart dwells
insofar as mere,
happy-ness-charms,
Mine thy lonesomeness
-the-soul-into - satisfying
at ease the love I deserve
hankering and longingly-
Even tho' forever-waiting
in its stillness-
I'd bewriting it down
and speak my mind
in any shape form,
aforesaid
and done
bewailing free verses,  
thus,
soul-lonest-mine swells
A LA MODE
Essentially,
at my Fervent HAVEN!
Stances

I

Sans doute il est trop **** pour parler encor d'elle ;
Depuis qu'elle n'est plus quinze jours sont passés,
Et dans ce pays-ci quinze jours, je le sais,
Font d'une mort récente une vieille nouvelle.
De quelque nom d'ailleurs que le regret s'appelle,
L'homme, par tout pays, en a bien vite assez.

II

Ô Maria-Felicia ! le peintre et le poète
Laissent, en expirant, d'immortels héritiers ;
Jamais l'affreuse nuit ne les prend tout entiers.
À défaut d'action, leur grande âme inquiète
De la mort et du temps entreprend la conquête,
Et, frappés dans la lutte, ils tombent en guerriers.

III

Celui-là sur l'airain a gravé sa pensée ;
Dans un rythme doré l'autre l'a cadencée ;
Du moment qu'on l'écoute, on lui devient ami.
Sur sa toile, en mourant, Raphael l'a laissée,
Et, pour que le néant ne touche point à lui,
C'est assez d'un enfant sur sa mère endormi.

IV

Comme dans une lampe une flamme fidèle,
Au fond du Parthénon le marbre inhabité
Garde de Phidias la mémoire éternelle,
Et la jeune Vénus, fille de Praxitèle,
Sourit encor, debout dans sa divinité,
Aux siècles impuissants qu'a vaincus sa beauté.

V

Recevant d'âge en âge une nouvelle vie,
Ainsi s'en vont à Dieu les gloires d'autrefois ;
Ainsi le vaste écho de la voix du génie
Devient du genre humain l'universelle voix...
Et de toi, morte hier, de toi, pauvre Marie,
Au fond d'une chapelle il nous reste une croix !

VI

Une croix ! et l'oubli, la nuit et le silence !
Écoutez ! c'est le vent, c'est l'Océan immense ;
C'est un pêcheur qui chante au bord du grand chemin.
Et de tant de beauté, de gloire et d'espérance,
De tant d'accords si doux d'un instrument divin,
Pas un faible soupir, pas un écho lointain !

VII

Une croix ! et ton nom écrit sur une pierre,
Non pas même le tien, mais celui d'un époux,
Voilà ce qu'après toi tu laisses sur la terre ;
Et ceux qui t'iront voir à ta maison dernière,
N'y trouvant pas ce nom qui fut aimé de nous,
Ne sauront pour prier où poser les genoux.

VIII

Ô Ninette ! où sont-ils, belle muse adorée,
Ces accents pleins d'amour, de charme et de terreur,
Qui voltigeaient le soir sur ta lèvre inspirée,
Comme un parfum léger sur l'aubépine en fleur ?
Où vibre maintenant cette voix éplorée,
Cette harpe vivante attachée à ton coeur ?

IX

N'était-ce pas hier, fille joyeuse et folle,
Que ta verve railleuse animait Corilla,
Et que tu nous lançais avec la Rosina
La roulade amoureuse et l'oeillade espagnole ?
Ces pleurs sur tes bras nus, quand tu chantais le Saule,
N'était-ce pas hier, pâle Desdemona ?

X

N'était-ce pas hier qu'à la fleur de ton âge
Tu traversais l'Europe, une lyre à la main ;
Dans la mer, en riant, te jetant à la nage,
Chantant la tarentelle au ciel napolitain,
Coeur d'ange et de lion, libre oiseau de passage,
Espiègle enfant ce soir, sainte artiste demain ?

XI

N'était-ce pas hier qu'enivrée et bénie
Tu traînais à ton char un peuple transporté,
Et que Londre et Madrid, la France et l'Italie,
Apportaient à tes pieds cet or tant convoité,
Cet or deux fois sacré qui payait ton génie,
Et qu'à tes pieds souvent laissa ta charité ?

XII

Qu'as-tu fait pour mourir, ô noble créature,
Belle image de Dieu, qui donnais en chemin
Au riche un peu de joie, au malheureux du pain ?
Ah ! qui donc frappe ainsi dans la mère nature,
Et quel faucheur aveugle, affamé de pâture,
Sur les meilleurs de nous ose porter la main ?

XIII

Ne suffit-il donc pas à l'ange de ténèbres
Qu'à peine de ce temps il nous reste un grand nom ?
Que Géricault, Cuvier, Schiller, Goethe et Byron
Soient endormis d'hier sous les dalles funèbres,
Et que nous ayons vu tant d'autres morts célèbres
Dans l'abîme entr'ouvert suivre Napoléon ?

XIV

Nous faut-il perdre encor nos têtes les plus chères,
Et venir en pleurant leur fermer les paupières,
Dès qu'un rayon d'espoir a brillé dans leurs yeux ?
Le ciel de ses élus devient-il envieux ?
Ou faut-il croire, hélas ! ce que disaient nos pères,
Que lorsqu'on meurt si jeune on est aimé des dieux ?

XV

Ah ! combien, depuis peu, sont partis pleins de vie !
Sous les cyprès anciens que de saules nouveaux !
La cendre de Robert à peine refroidie,
Bellini tombe et meurt ! - Une lente agonie
Traîne Carrel sanglant à l'éternel repos.
Le seuil de notre siècle est pavé de tombeaux.

XVI

Que nous restera-t-il si l'ombre insatiable,
Dès que nous bâtissons, vient tout ensevelir ?
Nous qui sentons déjà le sol si variable,
Et, sur tant de débris, marchons vers l'avenir,
Si le vent, sous nos pas, balaye ainsi le sable,
De quel deuil le Seigneur veut-il donc nous vêtir ?

XVII

Hélas ! Marietta, tu nous restais encore.
Lorsque, sur le sillon, l'oiseau chante à l'aurore,
Le laboureur s'arrête, et, le front en sueur,
Aspire dans l'air pur un souffle de bonheur.
Ainsi nous consolait ta voix fraîche et sonore,
Et tes chants dans les cieux emportaient la douleur.

XVIII

Ce qu'il nous faut pleurer sur ta tombe hâtive,
Ce n'est pas l'art divin, ni ses savants secrets :
Quelque autre étudiera cet art que tu créais ;
C'est ton âme, Ninette, et ta grandeur naïve,
C'est cette voix du coeur qui seule au coeur arrive,
Que nul autre, après toi, ne nous rendra jamais.

XIX

Ah ! tu vivrais encor sans cette âme indomptable.
Ce fut là ton seul mal, et le secret fardeau
Sous lequel ton beau corps plia comme un roseau.
Il en soutint longtemps la lutte inexorable.
C'est le Dieu tout-puissant, c'est la Muse implacable
Qui dans ses bras en feu t'a portée au tombeau.

**

Que ne l'étouffais-tu, cette flamme brûlante
Que ton sein palpitant ne pouvait contenir !
Tu vivrais, tu verrais te suivre et t'applaudir
De ce public blasé la foule indifférente,
Qui prodigue aujourd'hui sa faveur inconstante
À des gens dont pas un, certes, n'en doit mourir.

XXI

Connaissais-tu si peu l'ingratitude humaine ?
Quel rêve as-tu donc fait de te tuer pour eux ?
Quelques bouquets de fleurs te rendaient-ils si vaine,
Pour venir nous verser de vrais pleurs sur la scène,
Lorsque tant d'histrions et d'artistes fameux,
Couronnés mille fois, n'en ont pas dans les yeux ?

XXII

Que ne détournais-tu la tête pour sourire,
Comme on en use ici quand on feint d'être ému ?
Hélas ! on t'aimait tant, qu'on n'en aurait rien vu.
Quand tu chantais le Saule, au lieu de ce délire,
Que ne t'occupais-tu de bien porter ta lyre ?
La Pasta fait ainsi : que ne l'imitais-tu ?

XXIII

Ne savais-tu donc pas, comédienne imprudente,
Que ces cris insensés qui te sortaient du coeur
De ta joue amaigrie augmentaient la pâleur ?
Ne savais-tu donc pas que, sur ta tempe ardente,
Ta main de jour en jour se posait plus tremblante,
Et que c'est tenter Dieu que d'aimer la douleur ?

XXIV

Ne sentais-tu donc pas que ta belle jeunesse
De tes yeux fatigués s'écoulait en ruisseaux,
Et de ton noble coeur s'exhalait en sanglots ?
Quand de ceux qui t'aimaient tu voyais la tristesse,
Ne sentais-tu donc pas qu'une fatale ivresse
Berçait ta vie errante à ses derniers rameaux ?

XXV

Oui, oui, tu le savais, qu'au sortir du théâtre,
Un soir dans ton linceul il faudrait te coucher.
Lorsqu'on te rapportait plus froide que l'albâtre,
Lorsque le médecin, de ta veine bleuâtre,
Regardait goutte à goutte un sang noir s'épancher,
Tu savais quelle main venait de te toucher.

XXVI

Oui, oui, tu le savais, et que, dans cette vie,
Rien n'est bon que d'aimer, n'est vrai que de souffrir.
Chaque soir dans tes chants tu te sentais pâlir.
Tu connaissais le monde, et la foule, et l'envie,
Et, dans ce corps brisé concentrant ton génie,
Tu regardais aussi la Malibran mourir.

XXVII

Meurs donc ! ta mort est douce, et ta tâche est remplie.
Ce que l'homme ici-bas appelle le génie,
C'est le besoin d'aimer ; hors de là tout est vain.
Et, puisque tôt ou **** l'amour humain s'oublie,
Il est d'une grande âme et d'un heureux destin
D'expirer comme toi pour un amour divin !
Zulu Samperfas Mar 2012
We sat around for hours
And it was like that days on days
Sipping wine, eating cheese, just enjoying life's malaise
Of course we were in France, your favorite country
I barely understood a word of what was said, but I still felt care free

Oh, you were my Golden Boy, my Prince, my Knight, my Friend
Oh, we had those good times, and of course they'd never end
I was young, I was scared, I saw what I wanted to
I couldn't bare to face what I knew would come soon

Back in New York we married, had a wedding, such a big party
We invited all our friends, such a big company
I lived through that, feeling like a stranger in my life
Even that big show is not what I like

You promised me your everlasting love, your devotion and your means
Sure, you looked like you had a lot, but things are not always what they seem
I had to learn the hard way, coming back hearing "I could've told you so"
That hurt, it was the truth, something even I know

I left you, standing there, a half a world away
In Israel, you gave me a shallow hug and you didn't stay

That's the last I ever saw of you
Walking down those stairs
Twelve years of love
Like you didn't care

That was eight years ago
People say, get over it, you need a life
After all, you've moved on, I read it in the New York Times

You must have had twenty girlfriends, and few more besides, and then lucky you, you met your future wife
And me?  I come home still today,
and notice how happy I am that there's no one to ruin my day
No one to insult me, no one to call me sick
No one to blame me for his problems which can't be beat back with a stick

I still tense up, walking to my door
I still walk in, waiting for the sore
The projected pain, the insolence, the sickening ingratitude,
I sure know how to pick'em, you were quite a dude

So I'm still alone today, not ready to go
Still scared and scarred, but there's one thing I know
Someday I'll be healed
Someday I'll walk out that door
I'll hold my fear, yes, but it will not haunt me anymore
And then I'll know, you didn't win, because this is what you wanted of me
To be alone, to be afraid, anyone can see
Well, yeah, marriages come and go...
Elaenor Aisling Nov 2013
I have learnt the pain
of too much tenderness,
of ingratitude, of impatience.
The pain that comes when you can't identify
the material of the casket,
you kept a gifted heart in.
I though it was love,
that preserved your misshapen, scarred *****.
But was it sympathy, inlaid with gratitude,
For three words uttered (though falsely)?
But I returned yours unharmed, when you requested it.
No gashes from harsh words
only salve, from caring hands- though the wound's wouldn't heal.

I don't know what you kept my heart in.
A bag of lust, tied with pride?
Cheaply made, so when it tore,
you sent my heart back, raw, unprotected.
At least I left you with sympathy.
jeffrey robin Apr 2013
Friends for a .....day
Lovers for a......night
.
Ain't it so ?
(What is your name
Again?)
--
--
I remember.....(?)
-
(I can't remember what )
.
Gotta lotta important things on my mind
.
(I can't remember what)
--
I hope we had a very good time
-
I really do though I'm not sure why
----
----
Little child
In the rain
.
I see!
--
So incourteously
Death invades Life

We yield!

We must be
"Out of our minds!")

The child
Calls out in vain
.
Such ingratitude
Before the gods
.
Such indecency
Such cruelty
Indifference...................
.........morbidity
----
F­riends for a........day
Lovers for a night
--
I just never cared
To ask you your name
--
If you told me now

What would it matter
Friends ---lovers

What does it mean?
Grave miss-shape of my words is used upon me. A scrambled charade of truth once told in such innocent converse. Whispers of reality merge with that of embellishment and ambiguity. skilfully woven and portrayed with tongue of Silver lined exception.

Graced upon to ***** audience whom cast ribald and ****** taunt from hierarchies seat. All of whom, in all reality recognize the stamp of torturous acquirement. All so quite clearly can be witnessed, should they choose to view this mortal shell of indicted personage positioned at their feet.

Blabbered brushed jaws painting this foulest of portraits, expressing disloyal and flexuous glimpse of devotion and fidelity. Dedication and overall Commitment that was once so sought after from those who now sit in expectant judgement.

Even unto Royal figure who with such ingratitude and for own expense should be so inconceivable and self immersed than to make false expression for own end. Formulation of such discourse would make even the most unfortunate of individual aghast in repugnant antipathy.

Upon to no Maiden in this realm should I even resemble that for which I stand accused. Particularly that one of Royal Nobility of whom all graces and respect should cast such humility and servitude upon loyal and most reverent subject.

Indeed I would personally Chastise so vehemently any such being who would envisage to execute such immoral and un-pardonable that as I am oh so wrongly accused of this day. With all flight and honour would I intend to right such a wrong passed upon a lady of such stand.

I stand in excellent company with upstanding fellow also cast avail by Unruly Royal and his band of foul hounds all baying to his every utterance and command.

To rid himself of loyal Queen with illicit words of degradation and misdemeanour is not one of a King, rather a Serpent that slivers through the slime of a false Heart. Deeming so unjustly to procure another in his bed for lack of male heir.

Once my loyalty to thee was forthcoming for I thought in my very soul there stood a King of elegance and splendid honour. But all such thought now bastardised as through yonder window shines true light of day.

To thee then Henry VIII, King of this realm I curse thee with every inch of my soul. God above will levy your foul action with female child, deny thee strong male seed and burden thee with an eternity of Hell.

As I wrongly die, I am crying for all that could have been. I cry for my wife and child, for an inhuman heart that sets his sights over the death of his Queen.

For twenty thousand rights cannot make amends for one singular foul wrong.
8th September 2011
Alienpoet Dec 2019
Sitting in your old arm chair,
With a devil may care,
Attitude.
Talking about the ingratitude
Of youth.
Watching TV,
Eating microwaveable meals,
Grumpa,
I still love you,
I remember the times when I was young,
and you helped me,
when I was stung,
by a wasp,
or fell over.
Life is hard,
it makes you,
grumpy and
lonely,
Please think of the things you’ve shown me,
Rather than talking about the things that make you despair
I know behind the passive aggression you still care,
I know I sometimes take the ****,
But really Grumpa,
I can see all your tricks,
There is still, to my surprise,
magic behind those eyes,
And bedtime stories waiting to be read.
Grumpa,
Don’t lose the thread
We all need a grandfather like you,
For you have all the experience,
You will know what to do!

— The End —