"headedness" poems
Is there someone out there that can make the insecure, secure?
The lost become found?
The weak become strong?
The introvert extrovert and all things in-between?
The ugly more beautiful?
The headedness and nightmares become more of a joke?
The sounds in the background become solid and free
Chuck out the garbage
The ties that bind thee
Those that put you in trouble of the deepest kind
The ugliest of mothers hellbent on revenge
Taking out pennies from someone else's den
Is there someone decent and cool
To help get along in the life of a fool?
I am the pest the irregular verb
Adjectives, hyphens the comma's full stop and nerds
All comprehensive found sometimes expensive
So you'll never know what kind of gift wraps inside
Quaky, Jackie, Stumble bunny and fall
Am running amok for the sake of it all
Sinderella what a fella
He went to the garden zoo
Played hokey cokey
Oh what a jokey
He even drank the soup
Happy Halloween you creeps!
© Bernard M Coldwell all rights reserved
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 5:44 AM UTC
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction
I have a love unending
Transcending space and time
Living in the world I create deep within my rhyme
And I stand 'till I choose to sit
And I will sit for now
Wiping inkblots off my page as if sweat from my brow
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction
She was and still is the girl
The girl who was unobtainable
Yet my body stays restrainable as I sit here scribbling
Tossing her hair over her shoulder
I stick to my seat as if atop me's a boulder
And I try to convince myself that I'm too busy
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction
I am a boy who doesn't take chances
While the words dance in my brain
And I write of love and true romance and live them on the page
So my **** has finally decided to not partake in the occasion
And stay seated so I'm not defeated to prevent sorrow's invasion
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction
My brain and heart battle for control
Of shifting feet and lover's soul
And what stands as inconceivable is why I'm so lost
A chance is a chance and that is all they are
And I need not travel very far
Not trying is still losing and standing and sitting both have their cost
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction
Heaven's eyes lie through ruby curls
She meets my glance and smiles at me
While I stew with ink-stained fingers here in purgatory
Stand up, **** it! Just stand up! My heart and head reach a conclusion
Pages only go so far and the safety of sitting an illusion
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction
I stand up and find, to my surprise,
My legs choosing to support
Dropping pen and picking up the ball that's in my court
And I walk up to the girl who plagues my dreams
As if her very being, to me, beckons and calls
Only to hear the world laughing at me as I slip, trip, and fall
And hell is all to real to the boy who occupied purgatory
With tear-filled eyes from looking to heaven
With ****** nose caused from leaving his seat
Seeing my chance flutter away as I run out of the room
Indented in the red haired girl's eyes as a simple buffoon
Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Coming back another day to claim my love once more
And being ever so careful to make sure my face meets yours, not the floor
Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 11:33 AM UTC
The clock struck a peculiar time
Reverberating on the window pains
When I looked up from the old wooden desk
To the stark white face of that piece
My eyes were caught in a haze
The hands of the clock eluded me
The chair scratched against the floor
As I moved backwards and rubbed my eyes
My ears popped ever so slightly
Light headedness came on to me
I found it and remained conscious
Aware of what would occur should I fall,
Succumbing to that mechanism
I mustered myself to remove the clock
Lifting it from a single nail in the wall
I placed in in the top drawer of the desk
It's ticking was no longer audible
Yet I still felt the reverberation
It bounced and rattled within my bones
A pulsing echo within my mind
Never louder yet with each throb
It grew more and more distinct
Then it stopped altogether
And the shadows grew long in the room
I paned out the old attic space
For the breifest moment
Before the shadows evaporated
Blending and mixing with the darkness
Oct 6, 2021
Oct 6, 2021 at 10:10 PM UTC
Every thought I conjour is venomous
Specifically hot and pressed 'insensitive'
Literally lost in bottled hot headedness
Weighty when I slog a verbal cosh with these sentences
Hasty without thought at a cost to everybody's detriment
An onslaught with no relevance...
I wish I'd stopped...
If only I'd stopped...
Jan 1, 2023
Jan 1, 2023 at 8:44 AM UTC
I am a man at
odds
with the sun,
my body
runs
away from me
and my shadow
has seashells in it ears
and wet, floppy, dead gull feathers
hanging from its mouth.
The sun makes
a man
a shoreline, a landfill
when he was once
an
ocean.
I've been playing a game lately.
I stole four or five plastic eggs
from the dollar general,
and when I'm drunk I place
them
around my room,
and look for eggs
in the morning,
hoping to find sobriety or at least
level-headedness
in plastic air pockets.
Feb 25, 2012
Feb 25, 2012 at 12:21 PM UTC
**It gets deeper... wider
It's a good feeling... to know that I can confide in her
She's always been there
Even when I thought she wasn't
When I thought I'd kicked her out of my life completely
Self righteously so
But just like before... I again fell for her
That unfortunate incident, years ago... her mistake
'My' **** take
Could not be forgiving
My hard headedness, probably as a result of hard living
Feeling like I was 'gangsta'
She loved me and all my 'rasta'...
Tendencies
And I wasn't empathetic enough to accept an apology
Turned her politely away, silently insulting her with ****** street terminology
I was a *****
So we grew apart quick
But still remained friends
Though feelings between us rendered us 'strained ' friends
Until it got real
Had to accept how I feel, and forgive her
And that fondness rekindled
Into that which it was
Pause... fast forward... some dumb person posts a
Comment on facebook, afraid that I'd lost her
Scary... but it opened my eyes after so long
To realise, with 'Shee' is exactly where I belong.**
Jun 21, 2010
Jun 21, 2010 at 3:11 PM UTC
there are loose leaves
at the bottom of my teacup
I rarely finish drinking the thing
- instead I stare through the dark transparent liquid
at barely-floating twiggy tea leaves that
escaped from the bag
I am forgetful
and unforgiving of myself
I am too easily entranced by
lights and thin branches that dance above muddy grass
my eyes see things breathe
like marbled floors and brick buildings
I am so enraptured by rabbit fur
and tree bark
rabbits prance along the neighbourhoods
and I love the game of seeing how close I can get to them
before they leap away
when I think of bliss,
I think of not knowing what is coming next
more even, not caring
when I think of bliss,
I think of running after rabbits
or petting a tree
I do these things when no one’s looking
so no one catches the crazy in me
there are loose coffee grounds
at the bottom of my mug
caffeine kills me
and I love the taste
of the cruelty
but my body is hurting
again
like last year
where fainting and falling and confusing my words in conversation
arose every time I felt an anxious feeling
nudge its way in deeper
maybe it’s just way of giving up
my body surrendering in complete so that I feel full effect
of how badly I’ve treated it
it’s hurting again
so much that sometimes I can barely get out of bed
or get off the bus
and walk the trek home in the nippy night
I see rabbits prance along the neighbourhoods
and oh look, I am repeating myself
again
I hardly notice because my head is hurting
like there are a million and one hurricanes
inside of it
less of a crash and more like a rush
there is a difference between headaches
and light headedness
both hurt though
still I’m ashamed I’m lightheaded all the time
there is a weakness in it
that only frail people can relate to,
the scatterbrains, the unconcentrated, the anorexics, the cancer patients
the sick-of-some-sort
what am I?
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM UTC
Jealousy is a beast eating at us all -
No amount of preparation, warning, level headedness
Can ready the mind for the heart's selfish paranoia
A feeling that can make a happy woman turn bitter
And a proud man resort to petty games of children
What's a sweet, young girl to do?
When the beast of nightmarish imagination
Takes a bite out of her once practical mind
She can put up a fight
Though it may not be worth it
Or let the monster take hold
Get on her knees, smile and take it
Imagine them together, jealousy says
Images beyond the power of repression
Images she's created herself in the back corner
Of her filthy, shameful mind.
Imagine what they did.
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 9:36 PM UTC
I want to cry in the mourning of something I have not yet lost.
I live constantly concerned that the destructive actions of my soul that commence,
Like a reflex not simply in my body,
But somewhere so submerged in my fragile being and conscience
I cannot and do not manage to withhold the wreckage
Within me once it begins to emerge...
I will tarnish the things that have been my cradle,
My sanctuary of happiness and level headedness.
Interpreting your every move, almost anxious for any
Give away signs of lost hope, lost lust, lost companionship
Despite the metaphor of its definition,
Companions you cannot be over miles of land and sea...
It’s as if all this space between us is at retracting magnet ends,
Or a snow storm battling a deserts sand swoops.
Yet, throughout all of my own battles of emotion...
I secretly know you are in blissful ignorance, for you do not
feel time should be kept anywhere, least of all in a waistcoat pocket.
Oct 30, 2011
Oct 30, 2011 at 8:14 PM UTC
Words don't bother me.
Like they do a kid.
I've been there.
Done that time and time gain.
I've got a thick skin.
Hearsay.
Rumors that seems to get spread.
Is never by the person they speaking about.
It's most out of the jealousy friends.
I've got a thick skin.
Untruth mixed around truth.
Sometimes do offends.
But never myself.
Cause I've got a thick skin.
Those, who talk.
Can't stand the heat.
If it's turned back upon them.
But not me.
All because I've got a thick skin.
Hard headedness.
Stubborn too.
This I've been called.
But when you have a thik skin.
Nothing bothers me at all.
Sep 11, 2012
Sep 11, 2012 at 10:45 PM UTC
The political system is fragile,
The sides will not budge.
Like a game of tug-of-war,
The fate of the country rests,
In the hands of the men we choose.
But their hands are like a sieve,
letting millions fall through the slots.
To make up their mind is to save the country,
But the bull-headedness leaves us all in wait.
Just hope to survive.
Nov 26, 2011
Nov 26, 2011 at 6:24 PM UTC
Cipralex
Pop three whenever you notice
The oozing and bubbling skin
On your arms in the morning
From being too close to hell
In one evening
Side effects may include
Yawning every 5 seconds
Not due to boredom or tiredness
Light headedness
From the lack of food you now realize you have yet to eat
May result in abuse of medication
Due to not wanting to feel numb constantly
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 3:30 AM UTC
I want to disappear and never surface
I want to wake up and not feel
I want to smile without an aching heart
Was this heart broken by me or had the world crumbled it's light?
I see the mirage of a future, a vibrant past but as I look around I see nothing but the blurry depths of the sea, currents pulling and pushing, water forcefully rushing down my throat, filling my chest as I struggle in reflex.
It was such a cold night, too cold to be alone.
I am a failure, one who'd given up on life and was given up upon and as my body sinks deeper into this dark abyss I prayed to God for warmth.
There were days I felt relief under the torrential rain, some, light headedness as sun rays kissed my skin. I was made euphoric with simple pleasures. And in that degree, I felt pain all the same.
I resigned to the sinking of my body and the lost of sight on this lonely path but just as much I was desparate for salvation.
With effort, I came up and was washed upon the shores. It was cold, too cold. Water came out of my nose and I coughed and heaved.
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 12:40 AM UTC
Long and in darkness, I wander these twisting halls. Drawing closer, with each one of my foot fall’s. The time crawls and carries, sweet moments I remember, of a time in my youth so simple, farther and farther away from me, oh how I long for them to stay with me. But they drift. Passing the doorways I chose to open, peering deep into the wisdom gained, causing me to change and straiten, askew concepts of reality, forced into choosing neutrality when faced with life’s cold unforgiving brutality. Jaded and wearisome I have grown, as I find myself drawing closer to the end of hallways well-traveled. With the great mysteries of life unraveled, my path is well lit by wisdom and knowledge. Fractures and faults that riddle the walls become clearer, the crooked portraits that line the halls are like massive mirrors, the clearer they get, it won’t be long I bet, before I repay my debt. The final door at last I have found. With a long life and grey headedness I have been crowned, I close my eyes, ready to return to the ground.
Feb 23, 2012
Feb 23, 2012 at 2:14 AM UTC
There's good reason
Why they say I'm
Madly in love.
Look at my behavior.
Sweating, palpitating,
Shortness of breath,
Light-headedness,
Clean shaven,
Clean underwear.
This isn't normal
Male behavior.
And then I repeat it,
Thinking the outcome
Will be different.
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 11:12 PM UTC
i can feel my heart beat faster as a drop of sweat forms on my temple with her thought, her brown eyes arouse me as she shares a cheeky smile. Teasing me with each word attracting me more. my mind ponders on caressing her silky skin, touching lips to her neck and sending shivers down her spine to the dimples on her back. . The thought o her clothes slowly slipping off as she leas me to the bed and sets my hands on her hips to lift her as she wraps her legs around me, pressed up against the wall with the world disappearing around us as the ecstasy takes over our actions, in dizzy light headedness falling upon your back as i slip my way down your body with only the sound of heavy breaths as tension builds and sheets get wet. A release off pleasure is stained in mind as screams echo off the walls
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 3:56 AM UTC
When you whisper close,
My hair rises...
I get the chills...
Feel thrills...
I'm in first grade again,
That first crush feeling...
And frowzy-headedness comes reeling...
Delicious ticklings up my spine
Sidetrack me for a little bit,
Like that first glass of wine....
I even lose my place,
My bookmark I can't find...
Should have folded down the tip....
Doesn't matter...
I think I'll let my reading slip...
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 11:40 PM UTC
the hard headedness is a self impossed sedative for that which i refuse to see
spinning reality
making it comfy
numbly
blindly
lovingly
i spin my world away from yours
grow it bigger
better
with more bombs
more brains
and machines to replicate
i will destroy my home
and build a new
smile
reformat and repeat
Jul 25, 2012
Jul 25, 2012 at 10:56 PM UTC
*Love,* I have realized, staring at the ceiling and listening to a
conversation I was never meant to hear, is not always enough.
Love is... caring, deeply,
if Like is a spark,
then Love is a flame,
and when there's Love on both sides,
that's supposed to be enough.
But Love isn't free.
It takes time, and work, and devotion,
and clear-headedness.
Love won't hold through
anger,
resentment,
and bitterness,
however misplaced
or well-intentioned.
A childish hope, built upon lessons from fairytales:
I want it to; I wish it did.*
Jul 6, 2017
Jul 6, 2017 at 11:45 AM UTC
Would you
Could you
Embrace
Me
In my
Filthy
Nakedness?
My hairy
Smelly
Swollen
Gritty
Craggy
Nailly
Grey and paley
Specklediness?
My empty headedness
My peculiarity
My fattening
Tightly
Loosely
Growing
Shrinking
Stretchy
Unstretchiness?
My glossitic
Pharangeal
Gall bladderistic
Liver liquory
Groaning
Folding
Guttiness
Gustiness
Lustiness
Testiculus
Buttocky
Armpitty
Greasy
Fleecy
Personage?
Could you
Would you
Embrace
This product
Of evolutionary
Engineerance?
This flabbergastable
Uncontrinchable
Everflinchable
Non-delinchable
Perspickinstable?
Blob?
I’m ought
But a nought
A drought
Flout
A Scout
About
Rout
Tout
Out
O
O
O
O
O
You would…?
You...could...?
I am
Amazed
Phased
Crazed
Dazed
Sazed
Madesed
Elazed
And to you
I embrace
Your embrace
With grace
And
A smileiciouss
Splish
On my
Face
Aug 20, 2016
Aug 20, 2016 at 10:47 AM UTC
He was, to be sure, very impressive indeed,
His bearing and carriage not of someone on his way
As much as one who had truly arrived:
Sleek, self-assured, possessing the calm of one
Who fully understands just how powerful he is,
One who has not embraced the company culture
As much as self-immersed in it,
To the point where it has so permeated his structure
That is hard to tell where he begins and it ends.
And yet, there is something unsettling there,
The odd non sequiturs, disturbing enough
In their utter and unconscious wrong-headedness,
But even more so
In the motorized, perfunctory method of their delivery,
As if it were obvious that it is we who are clearly incorrect.
Some three hours of drive time away,
Past any number of Holiday Inn Expresses,
Past numerous faded and shuttered Catskill resorts,
A handful of people carrying standard-issue banker’s boxes
Containing the detritus of twenty or thirty years of work
Exit the vestigial office the company maintains in its birthplace
(Only there as a nod to history, a sop to the locals and legislators.)
We hate to lose good people,
The HR person who drove up for the occasion
Intones solemnly to a handful of reporters
Who slouch nonchalantly in folding chairs
Scattered about a small, Seventies-wood-paneled conference room,
*But there are certain market inefficiencies at work,
International incidents, kinks in the supply chain,
Other anomalies the forecasting tools
And business models couldn’t have foreseen*.
And as he speaks, one of the newly superfluous
Wordlessly enters her car, pointing it homeward,
Across the sluggish, ice-clogged Susquehanna traversing a bridge Commemorating a giant of cash registers and calculators.
Sep 21, 2021
Sep 21, 2021 at 12:25 PM UTC
I peered inside
For just a few moments
To see if I could find any depth
I found wisdom was non-existent
No truth resides, it's inept
all that remains
A small tickle of comfort
In empty headedness
May 27, 2017
May 27, 2017 at 2:40 PM UTC