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Blake Aug 2018
When we fell asleep video chatting every night for a month
When I cried because you were the first person to make me feel like I wasn’t alone
When you excitedly told me about kissing a girl in a cemetery
When you sent me videos of your dirt bike
When we went cruising and listened to songs from our favourite band
When you tried to teach me how to game
When you told me everything you love about your girlfriend
When you talked about engines and cars with me even though I didn’t understand
When you saw I was feeling bad even at the one place I’m always happy
When you didn’t ask questions when I asked you to get rid of my razors, but instead told me how proud you were
When you held me as I cried, knowing I hate crying in front of people
When you let me fall asleep holding you even though I was cold and wet
When you held my hand when we woke up on the day when everyone had to leave
When you let me hug you a hundred times because you knew how much I’d miss you

When you gave me closeness and friendship and love unlike anything I’d ever known before

When we sat in my porch for 3 hours after fireworks were shot at people during a party, so you could make sure I was okay
When you let me cuddle you even though your friends would give you a hard time
When you told me you’d help me out if anyone ever hurt me
When you took a selfie with me
When you carried me everywhere *** I was tired
When you held my hand going down a steep trail because I couldn’t see and you knew I was scared
When you brought me extra food because you knew I skipped lunch
When you were protective over who I was friends with
When I came over to your house for the first time and we made pizza, gamed, and hung out with your family
When you had you first kiss with me

When you always showed you were protective of me and became the big brother I never had

When you told me you were bi on the first day we met
When you told me that only people you know well or that you like get to know you’re bi
When you cried and told me all your favourite facts and memories of a friend who had betrayed you
When you told me I had a cute nose
When you fell asleep holding my hand
When we hugged eachother after not seeing eachother for a year
When we kissed for the first time
When we kissed more
When you were my date
When you told me I was the only non-celebrity you’d go gay for
When we danced together
When we agreed to have an annual one week relationship

When you were the first girl I loved

When I met these people I never thought we’d get to the point were at now.
I doubt I’ve effected their lives as much as they’ve effected mine but it doesn’t even really matter because I have them and that’s all that matters to me
I found I was left a mantle clock
The type that you wind by key,
It had stood upon my father’s shelf,
Now it came down to me.
Inside the clock I had found a note
Scrawled in my father’s hand,
‘You never must overwind the clock
For time is a shifting sand.’

That’s all that it said, that tiny note
And I’d wondered what he meant,
Surely he could have talked to me
And made it more evident.
But my father had been secretive
And never would say too much,
Just that his life had raced away
And left him behind, and such.

The end of his life had come too soon,
It certainly was a shock,
I found him sat alone in his chair
And pointing up at the clock,
It wasn’t until the afternoon
I noticed the clock had stopped,
Just as his heart had ceased to beat,
There wasn’t a tick, or tock.

I took it home and I placed it up
In pride of place on the shelf,
Over the wooden mantlepiece
And wound the thing up myself.
I just didn’t know how many times
I was meant to turn the key,
So probably over wound it then,
Not knowing what was to be.

Over the following week I found
The clock had been gaining time,
And thought, that’s probably what he meant,
Never to over wind,
I tried to adjust it back a bit
To change the rate of the pawl,
But found the cog was racing away
And speeding up overall.

No matter what I did to that clock
Its speed just wouldn’t be tamed,
I’d slow it down and it speeded up,
I felt I was being gamed,
But then I woke on a Wednesday and
I thought there was something strange,
The man on the news said ‘Thursday’,
Like the days had been rearranged.

The weeks and the months went flying by,
I still kept winding that clock,
Remembering how my father died,
I wouldn’t have dared to stop.
But then one day I forgot to wind
And it slowed, and took me aback,
I held the key, was about to wind
When I had my heart attack.

Luckily Joyce was in the room
Thank god for my lovely wife,
She seized the key and she wound it up
And probably saved my life.
I never forget to wind it now
That clock’s in sync with my heart,
But now my life is racing away
With the clock still playing its part.

David Lewis Paget
Patrick Kennon Jul 2011
Smashing light bulbs in the dark to see
shattered sparks
Growing flowers to pull off all the petals
individually
Saved in the pages of unread novels, piles of
words
By some madman who had something to say, still has
something to say
Collect yourself for the next day, take a deep breath &
sleep
Because it will likely be worse than today, if not,
rejoice
Because you beat the odds, gamed the game
for once
I quietly thumb through faded photographs, trying
to remember that day
One of them, any of them, something to try for
again
Because I cannot dream anymore, I forgot
how
Somewhere along the line, it all drained
away
Crushed every morning at five thirty by screaming
alarm clocks
Damning me, sending me to hell, glaring red
numbers
Sweating out the anger, childishly smashing my
knuckles to pieces
I am temporary as the clouds spinning 'round the
mountains
One of these days, I'll climb them & try my luck at
flying
Rob Sandman Mar 2016
Bolero

Roll….slowly,let me rope your soul solely,
As you feel the Sandmans touch take control see,
Theres a whole lotta atmospheric pressure involved,
Rhymes gamed, flames flamed- new riddles to be solved,
Dissolve yourself in my dissolution,
Sudoku rhymer-kabuki solution,
My approach comes over the crowd like a wave-

Hypnotic suggestions -  your psyche’s enslaved,
Sway,stay,pray - I prey on your grey matter,
Thoughts dreams and scenes flee all become scattered…
A battered suit of plate armour that STILL holds firm,
Come with me as I whisk you away into the firmament,
See stars born and die in mere millisecs,
Come get drawn further every parsec,
Away from Earth a mere ball of dirt,
Some try to escape their fate the truth can hurt...

But we’re all stardust,so return to your beginnings,
Still spinning,no sinning hear the Multiverse singing,
my Bolero whips you tight in triple time,
dance with me hold tight to my rhyme…
Just started this today,
listening to the Bolero's unusual sound pattern
and wondering would it be possible to Rhyme over...
fell out of me so far!,
more to come...
Tommy Johnson Dec 2013
Just roll the dice
Now it’s your turn
Where you’ll land
No one’s sure

This gamed called life
This game called pain
This gamed called love
It’s all the same

So what’s the prize?
None of us know
Win or lose
The wind still blows

Just another player
Just one more turn
Your almost there

Go all in
Spin the wheel

I’m just playing
For the thrill

Take your chance
Danish Zia Oct 2014
Lying unnerve on ottoman,
Talking to the moon,
Brume are lavushing,
Thunder are lightning,

Lying unnerve on ottoman,
Talkin to the moon,
Being a stolid person to a monument,
From a calm situation to predicament,

Lying unnerve on ottoman,
Talking to the moon,
Meh the prat was structed in morass,
She gamed murky and i suffered onerous,
its a poem about uncanny person ..
Robin Carretti May 2018
Are we getting milk from the cow

And how just do it now
Chosen Pick
Like Hockey Canadian
Cup the puck

"Grand Waterfalls"
it beacons me
enlightens you
Smiley whites you
just got to see
My tooth got pulled
Sweet jammed
Not such luck

Did it become the
Expedition I
was deep 2-B
fooled
To Teeth me
schooled
Or text me
The next tooth
It's a sign which
you will never
understand

It's about teeth_

Not you're first
baby teeth
Just take a breath
The picked wrench
The tooth spy is sitting
on the bench
Fortune Gypsy
tellers

Gold diggers
tooth dwellers
Who got the worst
teeth sinners

The winners of
blackmail
The white pearly lie
Email teeth smiling
Eating hard taffy
Like she is dying
The tooth fairy
is coming lielie
Pinnochio__

This is a hell
video Mario
I am gamed

We had a deal
Big bad tooth
Chosen Hybrid
Wolf
transformation
****** Vampire tooth
bleed demonstration
sensation
Chosen one she got
frozen ice vibration
How he picked me
out of random

The good bones he was
my biggest
Fan broken tooth
he leads me
in his pick me
electrocuted

His chair the fandom
The scared vibe
The proud tooth
Indian  Bow- Wow!!
Tribe

The Patheos
Chosen Dino
Rhinoceros
Posterous
Serial killer
Eating her tooth
In her Cheerios!!
Cheers to Miss
Cherries
Near the tree bark
berries
****** strawberries
Stained her love teeth
He was called Mark
Teeth me

Don't iron me
Stark white
My hero's
Sidekick
Upper bite
Hard candy
My Cousin Vinny
Tooth lawyer
So canny
Some Sport
Teressa Tomei
Fantasy-Court
Island  

Pompeii
She chose
Portofino
My biological
teeth
are clicking
Mr. Buck's
big lotto

Starbucks coffee stained
Yellow below---
White armor pillow
Godfather fellow
Apple computer
Electrified plugging

Pulled some
Mob of teeth
The horse's mouth
Desperately Susan
Tooth swelled up
Made her Mom
fed up

Her smile
Snow White
and the seven
decks of dwarfs
The surf and turf
internet
Being dragged like
pulling teeth braces set
Brooklyn born traces
song duet
More teeth
chattering
Painful fee's
Down to her very root
Like a fern tooth twisted
She needed more
calcium what a knock
out tooth came out
Tackle
Football pick her

"Apple Snapple"
Movie stars
Teeth daily double
What fossils of bones

Her toothache
sadistically
he raves
*
The Dentist showed her
the Xrays all time
delays

Like a woodchuck
chucking wood
Her teeth were
discoloring
Blame Snow White*
She felt like he was the
The Dentist like
King Kong
Her tooth on display
She was wearing her
thong
Eventually, her tooth
came out
Just my luck
seven teeth to
be pulled
The professor
Commentator

He didn't know how to
love her
What a guesser in both
He knew every tooth
He didn't want to
lose her

To be pushed and shoved
This felt like a painful love
the right Dentist
shaped tooth
cup
Do ***
The Cop
Just stop him
His tooth
Got capped
Bullet shots

Teeth me again
We will see what remains
The proof is in the pudding
Big smile proofreading
The bite of her apple
her teeth started
to have more
bleeding Eve yuck

Life descending Adam
Her tooth for his tooth
Like a job of swapping
Never Ends
_

The back of her mouth
Her root canals never end
Romancing in Venice canal
She turned into the dark
Goth
Crooked Smile
Hannibal
Tried to make her smile
She was the hunter
Crazed like a cannibal;
"Lighten Up"
Pearly more cultured
Yellow up
Girly more dentures
Cleanse your teeth
Save your tooth
The sign of the man
of the cloth


The Sentinel for both
Ready to be Chicken hatched
Not giving up her tooth
But painful enough it was
a tooth decay
The classic
Leave it to
******'s teeth
Mom changed getting
an extraction
she went with her
Mr. Cleaver
The Driller

Her big tooth mailbox
Inside her chosen tooth
Like the Psychic lady booth
Told her tooth is worth

The pain
Wall Street
She had loads
to gain

Their teeth collided
money chilling
Her gums sherlock
changing

Like cinders of Cinderella
in ashes her smile he passes
At birth, the luck tooth was left
by her crib the fairy took it
It became a fortune so worth

You never know who you

will meet at birth?

Just smile if your tooth
is aching
Is it in a tooth fortune teller she knows whats up with a rotten tooth
Rachel Sterling Dec 2010
I adore being called out.*
Honestly.
Nothing turns me on more
than a man who calls me on what I’m up to.
The man who sees every little awful,
awkward detail in me,
and turns them against me.
I adore the thrill*
of being gamed.
I enjoy having to work,
and making him work.
I love it.
I thrive on it.
*I live for it.
So I was made out of bed ruckus
On this day
Iheard a voice say
Its a new born king
And then i couldn't cling
Onto the *******
That troubled me before i reached the age of three
I aint lying my brain fryin'
Cuz i seen so many people dyin'
Spiritual or physical
Still im a miracle
**** the haters n spectators
Learn gamed from affilated
Street creditors
The game done change since '95
Im all the waylive
Like coolio im in ya culo
Blazin' a shot gun enema
Yo this aint no cinema
My game tight learned wrong from right
Still battlin' the fight
On my bday suit quick to shoot
Down clowns revengin' my buried historical grounds
Lately im comin' back Penetratin the
Hearts of sin
Only to find my self back where it all began???
nick armbrister Jan 2018
atari games
when i was a teenager i had an atari games system
me and my mates played space invaders, pacman and river raid
competing to get the best score and be the best

it was a saturday afternoon in summer in the 80s

that's when it happened while we gamed away
we heard a huge bang and ran out of my mum's house
and down to the road for we knew it was bad
a crowd had gathered and oh ******* hell look!

a girl was lying still on the ground

was she dead?
but i only thought that later
we could see she was nice, too nice,
for all of her legs and **** was on display
as were her ******* and raised short skirt
and what of her face?

i knew she was pretty

there was blood on the ground
but we didn't see it till later
she was near a bus stop which was bent
was she waiting there when she was hit?
hit by the car that was halfway off the road

and equally thru the stone wall?

where was the driver?
the crowd said he'd fled the scene
over the fields and look,
there's tracks thru the grass

my mate's dad came to help the girl

her told his son to go to their house for a spoon
the girl was vomiting and it would **** her
soon his dad cleared the girl's mouth
so she could breath and he stayed by her side
while we watched from over the road

the ambulance soon came and took her away

and later still, the cops nicked the driver
he was drunk and driving and almost killed the girl
later still i learnt she made a full recovery
i wonder where she is now?

does she remember how close she came to death?

and what of the driver who hurt her?
this was 35 years ago and i remember it
like yesterday and the message it says:

don't drink and drive...
this was real...
Lawrence Hall Aug 2022
Dear Anonymous Google Accuser:

Thank you for your note, the contents of which sound much like the block warden’s caution (“Your attitude is noticed, comrade.”) to Yuri in the film version of Doctor Zhivago.

I have re-read the column, which I wrote nine years ago, and find nothing offensive in it (although it is rather puerile), nor do you detail exactly what is offensive in it and why I should be sanctioned. You are being Kafka-esque, and I say this as someone who has read Kafka: you do not tell me what offense I have purportedly committed nor do you face me with an accuser. You do not even face me with you, for you do not give your name. You employ the passive voice in referring to an “Adult Content policy” and to “Community Guidelines,” which sound like something from an episode of Patrick McGoohan’s The Prisoner: “The Committee won’t like this, Number Six.”

Google (and one could find “google” offensive, with its history of mocking someone’s physical characteristics) is a private company, and so is free to publish or not publish, as is only right.  And I am free to pity Google for moral, ethical, and literary cowardice.

But you say that I am insensitive.

I was raised in situational poverty, barely graduated from high school, and spent 18 months in Viet-Nam. Upon returning to the USA (with life-long skin cancer which the DVA denies) I worked straight nights (double shifts on weekends) as an ambulance driver and later an LVN to put myself through university. I taught for almost forty years in public school, community college, and university as an adjunct instructor of no status whatsoever. In retirement I volunteered with our local school’s reading program until the Covid ended that, and I still volunteer with the lads at the local prison. I volunteer in community cleanup after our hurricanes (tho’ I’m getting a little old for that). I’ve worked hard all my life, paid my taxes, paid off my house at age 70, receive only half of my Social Security because of some vague law, and never gamed the system. Indeed, I would say that the system has gamed me.

But you say that I am insensitive.

In Viet-Nam, by the way, I was not the shooter; I was the shootee. I served as a Navy Corpsman in the ICU at the Station Hospital in DaNang, in the outpatient clinic at Camp Tien Sha in DaNang, and finally at Moc Hoa on the Cambodian border. Several hundred people, mostly young Americans, but also ARVN, VC, NVA, Vietnamese civilians, and Cambodian civilians survived because I was there for them.

But you say than I am insensitive.

And was all of this so that some frightened committee of anonymous inquisitors staring at an Orwellian telescreen or a Mordor-ish Palantir could find an innocuous scribble insensitive?

Pffffft.

Sincerely,

Lawrence Hall
Google is creepy.
Minuscule Ego Feb 2016
"I found the paradox,
That if you love until it hurts,
That there can be no more hurts,
Only more and more love".
Sure enough! Ma'am Teresa had said that
And I so believed that, twice in a row!
Twice I've stood and watched you pierce me
The first, I'm sure I froze and the words left me
Words that I had preached, over and over
They melted on my tongue, like butter in an oven
Sweetness! I had so swear. Let's continue to the making
Let's lick even if the tongue feels the burning
You had me going with some everlasting fantasy
And it kept my heart beating rapidly for many years
I could almost hear it in my ears like everyday
You showered me peace and kept smiles to my lips
Day in, day out you kept feeding me those clips,
Oh! We had loved like nothing could change us
But through it all we became the foremost strangers
Beastly and gentling we stood apart in frost anger's
Till your mates became weighty, they became a consent
And I had to face those demons, for I had nothing to spare
My heart felt the trouble, so my thoughts became different
My dreams of love had turned hopeless, so I couldn't care
For we no longer care enough to even give a pretty face
You had always been my fantasy, until you had me replaced
So now that the dream's all gone, it's  now time to face the reality
That you made a fool of me, as I stood in a blanked drowse
A heartbreak after a vow.

For the second, I'm sure it begun with the text fling
You had devilishly hunted me from the shadows
Heartily laughing, while your eyes said the best things
My heart somehow fell, but my mind kept to the worst flings
For you were so PHAT, and I was so BALE, it felt awkward
But you just kept blinking, like cunningly coming forward
So I started flirting, hoping I can deceive the coming arrow
But you kept beeping, till you devilishly gamed the back row
For with those lips and em eyes, we all found it hard to resist,
Some had tried and failed, yet more and more still persist
And you quickly nixed their idea, told each you had a friend
For me....... I knew what to say to make it all come to an end
But my thoughts had its way, 'tis the same old sin' it had rang
"Good things don't come easy",  I proudly sang
You just laughed, said you still wish us the best things
Oh! That got my wow! so at night I begun with the texting
Between those whirling moments, within those poetic rhythm's
A new song started in my system, my heart begun dancing Only you,
However, the Platters failed to breach the speaker; I couldn't say I care,
For the past held me as a prisoner, and you solely trusted no one
You so thought of all 'as sinners, you felt better playing the lone
Within those tenderness and fears, I just wished for only you
My heart falls double, but the thoughts speaks different
My dreams for love still's hopeful, and I'm sure it goes low
Be you heartless or not, I still dream for that happy place
You will always be my fantasy, until you fill me till aglow
So now that the vision's all done, it's now time to ace the reality
That you made a good of me, as I stood with a furrowed brows
A heartbreak for a wow.
Love is all that matters, you ought not be alone
Dead lover Jan 2016
For ages I didn't act as myself,
I forgot that I was sentenced death,
The day i took birth,
It's law of nature,
As true and as powerful as rest of its laws,
So same, so true,
For me, for you..

We do not need to survive,
We need to live,
We weren't born just to stay alive,
But to thrive..

I prolonged my development,
I am so ashamed,
In this game of society,
I too have /had been gamed..

I haven't been myself till now,
But, I'll be for all the time so left
A poem for my parents, am so pleased to be your daughter, I can never write about your love and stuff, but just can write about the way you've sacrificed your tastes, for rearing us...

Thank you so much mummy, thank you so much papa..
ghost queen May 2021
Madame LeCarvennec had asked the chauffeur to be at Manoir Tregont Mab by 7 PM, the start of civil twilight during the vernal equinox, which would give them plenty of time to get to Pointe du Raz by nightfall at 8:52 PM.

It would be bitterly cold and windy at Enez Sun, so Gaëlle put on her black Lululemon cold weather leggings, long sleeved top, fleece vest, black hooded Patagonia puff down jacket, and black military style UGG leather boots.

Madame LeCarvennec had her druidess clothes and things taken to the island this morning, so she could travel and fly unencumbered.

Gaëlle walked down the stairs, where Madame LeCarvennec was waiting for her. They kissed twice cheek to check in silence. Then Madame LeCarvennec gave her a quarter baguette, ham, and butter sandwich.

Gaëlle walked out into the drizzling cold and stepped into a black Evoque Range Rover. The chauffeur, a middle aged man, armed and former  1st Marine Infantry Paratrooper, gave her a quick glance in the rear view mirror and started to drive.

They drove  in silence up D783 to Quimper, then D784 east to Pointe du Raz. She looked at the windows at the ghostly landscape, houses passing by in a blur. The seriousness of the situation weighed on her, as she slipped deeper into her thoughts, watching the endless landscape of cornfields.

They pulled into the deserted Pointe du Raz gravel parking lot. The sound of muffled crunching rocks bring her back to the moment. The driver stopped. She got out, and gasped at the cold vicious wind. She closed the door, and the chauffeur drove off. She was alone, in the dark Finistère shoreline.  

She walked down the paved trail towards the Sémaphore de la Pointe du Raz, a modern lighthouse, equipped with the latest in high-tech lighting, electronics, and microwave communication equipment. Then pass the Notre Dame des Naufragés, Our Lady of the Shipwrecked statue, till she got to the edge of the jagged rocks jutting into the Atlantic.

Directly in front of her was La Vieille, a lighthouse built on a rock, to the north Phare de Tévennec, a lighthouse built on a big rock and said to be haunted, and to the northwest, the infamous lighthouse Ar Men, called the hell of hells by keepers.

Lighthouses were classified by keepers into three categories, according to the harsh working conditions: "Hell" for houses at sea, "Purgatory" for island houses,  and "Paradise" for houses on land.

5 miles out, she could barely make out Enez Sun. The island was dark. The residents had left. The island was deserted except for the nine priestesses. Gaelle jumped into the air, placing her hands to her side as she picked up speed and altitude. The wind was blowing hard, forming white caps on the waves below.

She saw the bonfire, outstretched her hands, lowered her legs, and started her descent, landing several meters away from the circle of priestesses. A priestess pointed to a sack with Gaelle’s clothes: a white heavy cotton dress, a thick green woolen cloak, and turnshoe soft leather shoes.    

The priestesses were standing, holding hands, around two standing stones called Les Causeur in a field south of Eglise Saint-Guénolé in the center of town. Gaelle watched as they chanted and swayed rhythmically as a group. She knew from her days as a priestess, she could not be part of the circle, as the individual priestesses gave their power to the circle and leader, the eldest of the priestess, to amplify and see into the future.  

The priestesses swayed, tilting their heads back, chanting, but the eldest, Kermorian, bowed her head, concentrating and focusing her Sight. Images would come into focus, and she could make out their meaning, front the context of the subject or their surroundings. It was up to her to piece together the visions and make sense of what she’d seen.

Kermorian dropped to her knees. Her head bowed low. The circle stilled and quieted. Kermorian spoke, “ I see her. She has returned to Paris. She seeks her mother, to bring her back. She had killed many girls and many more will die to resuscitate the mother. She is manipulating men, and one in particular, to unearth her mother. That is all that I can see this night.”    

Kermorian, fell back on her ***, exhausted from the vision. Her second attending to her. The priestesses broke their circle and gathered around the fire, breaking breads, cakes, and drinking wine.  Kermorian weakly got up and walked to the fire, sat down on a cut tree stump and stared into the bonfire.

Kermorian spoke, and the priestess quieted. “She is back. Our sisters in Čachtice had been watching her. It is clear why she is back. To resurrect her mother, whom the French archeologists from la Musée Carnavalet are excavating her coffin.”

Kermorian waved Gaelle to her. “You are the closest to the archeologist and the mother. He will lead you to the daughter. Only then will we know how to deal with her and how to stop her from resurrecting her mother. The mother is the one who decimated our people. She must not be allowed to return. When the archeologist removes the iron stake through her heart, and the daughter feeds her blood, the mother will resurrect and seek vengeance on our people.”

Gaelle knew of the horrors the vampires had wreaked on her people. The systematic slaughter most of the druids, priestesses, vaters, and bards, killing the leaders, dispersing the followers. She then killed the men, so no fields could be tilled, gamed hunted, or women and children protected. They died by the thousands, the luck ones were taken into slavery by the Romans.  

The Celts abandoned their cities, dispersed, and hid deep into the forest of Europe. Our people hid in forests around Rennes, Broceliande, Quimper, Carnac, and Armorique.  

The Celtic culture was slowly forgotten and replaced by Gallic, then Roman, and finally French.

A small group of priestesses and druids were able to **** and stop most of the vampires. The others fled Europe, going deep into the desolate and savage Ural mountains, where they stayed until now.

The Christians and their new ways dismissed vampires, fairies, and magik even though their Holy books spoke of Lilith and her sisters in the garden of Eden, succubi, and magik.

Gaelle had seen excavation, the coffin, and Gerard. She’d gotten close to him, ****** him, and made sure he'd not forget her.
Poe Reimer Oct 2016
No one knew better; it seemed pretty swell,
cruising around in the suds with one cell.
Then someone discovered your chances accrue
if you can transition from one cell to two
and so we evolved the next three billion years,
grew livers and baby fat, dimples and ears,
and made up some gods who we worshiped a lot,
so they thought us special and gave us top spot.
Now the plants are all named and the system is gamed
and the animals tamed and the communists blamed
and the resources claimed and our passions inflamed.
In a myriad ways we're as rich as king Tut
and it's all quite fantastically wonderful. But ...
Ken Pepiton Jun 2023
Dear, the cost, not the idle salutation once
taught as business standard, Dear Sir,
Dear Madam,
Dear dear dear me
I do believe I must
become the tutor, of me
make the mental, sensible
{to the author with fidential zeal}
think yourself through 75 years, find

the hidden first love, the first own thing, kept
held as common sense, whosoever does mean me.
So, ever is the course wherein human events fluxuate.
----
Faust, I failed to read  when assigned.
So today, I dipped
into my own past, and found
the sense used then, the need,
in truth
to know
the world is alive.
And, as seen
through eyes a million miles away, our
shared seeing causes all our sensory arrays
to look back, and think another pace time
uses to cross space, bursts of insight, gasp

poiesis - that which "pro-duces or leads (a thing) into being'" patient work, tedious as setting type
by candlelight, sighing in knowledge, the tree
of radical aspirations to bear dozens of kinds
of fruits, some useful to life, some useless, though
we try, some sets life has been lived through, to you,
- such scenes could have ended other ways.
epochs, men have no honest measure for such
spans of time used to attain the heights
from which we look across my valley
and feel one of us, making peace
with the fact that war does not function
in reasoning contests, as war is unreasoning,

the stubborn little devil who knows only what
he wishes he had control over the use of, this
spirit of adventure, tamed in wisdom gathered
and attributed to a mystical king, truly mythical,
we know that way of singing praises, exalting men
as God's special agents, as proud of the title,
as any agency of secrets sacred national trust,
in God,
as Solomon Chase assured Mr. Lincoln,
We put our faith in the people's belief
in the goodness of the use of the money printed
and minted to pay for war and exact a capital plan,

one nation, under God, as defined
by the finest minds,-- aieee wait, fun facts, scatter
braining how much space is empty in a mind
made up enough
to devise a new form
of governing, as if all forms existing feel wrong,
to us, we freemen, with all the slaves we need,

we have the leisure to reason with antiquity
and realize, if ever there were eight billions
of possible re-connection surgings to emerge

as mind unmade up, come to watch a battle,
war and all its uses come to reason missed
understood standards force laws obediance

the idea
of thought being possible fails,
materially
in any formal structure possible only
with our  
gravity as matter's law one,
beyond free willing quarkish mean ways

One love idea, Reggae guysay, rollon
in the course, the rut, fun's t'come

Long, long long longer that you wish to learn
winding lines wishwings…
Spat like one o'dem spittin' images

In a pig's eye, one can see what we don't know.

A looping, stitching stretching stream
threading current
of consciousness, packeting
in formational preceptoriallines
of irrational reasonings insisting persist
- gutwrenching hungers are not visual.
stirring emotions is not stirring use of knowns,
arts entaling science, we agree. No nasty words.

Ghuckyew. Rhea… diversify religiously
extol the gnosis of knowing the ropes
tying tight the ifity-ness used to hold work
done by the weaver and seamster on time,
folding edges to feel flat, smooth, inside
-- where whole cloth joins cut edges
at any selvedge process,
where curves cut
from fabric woven mind wise, tend
to come undone
on mechanical extentions
of fingers and toes,
and music imagined as humms
after the setup,
as the machines imagined and eventually made up
vibrate alluring frequent acknowledgement
we know you know, we may be realized already
- looking back and front and side ways, down up
---
Judging myself unfinished, yet
done doing all assignments, yet
getting an itch to prove approval, yet
hesitating,
for lack of knowing, and laziness, yet
learning
patience's
false witness argument,
if what we preach is not true,
how could we be so sure we know

Jesus ate, in his quickened flesh, fish.
Thus, we must be persuaded,
we shall also be
fishy. Da
gone gone dagonitgone antigone gone


theater of doubt, all in white, lime-lit
blinding all who care or dare to see
as blind, the faith of the gamblers's
thrall to money love and war.

Betterment through betting, all-in…

Have you any real
estate in which you do attest, its me?

I am my own real estate, executer
am I of all that I choose to do or not
in the confines of the course of human events,

as Hoyle's mind built canals on Mars,
so now we bet we can imagine being special,
as me, on a planet with, thee, you, Sie, du, see do.
- a viral propagation plan, thorny issuances
- sniff or sneeze, but do not die trying to make
- peace with all war makes worth lying for.

As we, our wedom began, as any wedom must,
the laws of philo and phobia in science used
by us, the we at point, piercing this wall,
your reading mind accepts the bet, if
this is art, for the sake of artifice
imagined in a current form, an AI
of informing fluid finding reason to bend,
or stretch, taut as drum, a net unseen
by any bird in resistance.

Posi and Nega, sisters in myths, new myths,
affect the same unknowing rash decisions,
when in truth, statistical-knowing one thing true,
there is at the most wee-tiny scale, an emptiness,
a mean unobstructed way for right to be, or not,

and now, we are, so we made that choice.

Today, this is that way which is the only way.
Today, this map of numerable lines, in nos, laws…
sense we are all in-im
balancing percepts on precepts,
undermining certainty,
exalting godishtical oracular maxims,

Knowledge is power,
secret knowledge, you may never know,
riddle reasoning used in cogito sums
given children to solve by asking
parents proper questions,
and writing show and tells. Wanna bet?

Al Suri, spokesman for FUD,
Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt,
appears to persuade martyrs,

the illiterate prophet's utterly canonical
promise of a certain libidinous eternity,
most appealing to frustrated post pubescent boys.

Stacks of squared away blocks,
stack up as extending the reach of order
coming down from the top, whither
the light that said the single word,
according to the Prophetic voice,
Read, he heard, and I cannot, he replied,
fold here, hear me, light seen, I cannot read,

what is here for me to read, a thought,
what are you saying, read, what is reading worth,
to one who has never learned the letting out
of silent song or scream, or plea for hope,
flowing as from scribal rod in perfection,


Two things only do the people earnestly desire,
bread and the circus (Juvenal)
"Duas tantum res anxius optat, Panem et circenses"

Here, sing. Reconciled, by doing singing heard,
sing out, child, hear yourself singing as if you know
how such a thing as singings may be made up,
to seem perfectly fine,

a mused mentality, thing of thought, with something
words alone lack, essentially.

Seven Types of Ambiguity

--- at this moment, my writing records show
today is June 3, my only ever wife's birthday,
that's right, and I know that it is morning,
by the angle of the sunlight though my window,
and the leafy shade dancing over sleeping moss.
Yet at that moment he looked back to reread
Presenting a new mind
Wednesday, May 3, 2023
11:02 PM
real-time 9:52 AM… we all find that, too odd.
And glibbly mention glitching…
Query Greek logos gnosis, active in-tell seek:
Brave AI Sums it up.
The Gnosis logo is an example
of a crypto industry logo
from Global, designed
for the crypto industry.
It is an official variant
of the logo
for the SVG file format standard.
Gnosticism is a Christian belief that claims
to possess a higher knowledge acquired
on a mystical higher plane of existence.
The ancient Greeks distinguished
between two types
of knowledge: gnosis and logos.
Gnosis was akin
to "how-to"
such as
how to build a boat or ride a horse,
while logos was more akin
to academic knowledge
such as knowledge
of mathematics or logic.
The distinction between the two types
of knowledge was important I-i
n the early history {noerror}
of Christianity,
with Gnostic Christians
emphasizing
gnosis
while the Catholic Church
emphasized logos{… not logical? Ai ask}
Gnostics see themselves as a privileged class
elevated above everybody else
by their higher, deeper knowledge of God.
- higher deeper, good one, HAL
--- Yes, AI am a cyborg, and a heretic, and king
of me and many wedoms formed
with books
by authors and finishers
of faith utility tales, told
to make believers,
stop thinking this impossible, and pose
the question,
are you me, dear reader, I trow not, I am mere
when you are so near as to read my very mind.

Virtue, undefined signals sent through time
to when you stop, and see selah, as instruction
in constructing a foundational faith, establish
mental
anchor. Persist in time, be yourself a while
while
nothing makes sense, yet.

{Akio Kashiwagi, the warrior}, money maddened
survivor or apprentice or pawn
of greed's gift
of mighty right feelings,
taker's joy, loser's grief, and none
of my own,
eeeeha!
emphasis on imagine the feeling

MAGA, as when the We persisting in aliegance,
feel our national ideal We take all the Mandan had,
and waste it seeking the use of money, on credit,
to make the possibility
of human error
manifesting
in Manichean lying prophecies,
as solemnly sworn on the true revelation,
from Moses, Lycurgus, Thoth or Hiawatha,
as it is written, so it must be done,
come the time all knowing is free
for the asking
- orthodox, right, upright, gravitationally
- balancing spirit and truth as effortlessly
- as a child on a rock in a pond in tree pose,
- sent to me,
- instantly, a moment later, with a note,
- from five years ago, when my chess mate
- was five years old and told his ma,
show Grandpa

Knowledge confidence power,
believing is the verb such forces use,
by faith, we breathe, when we stop and think,
we must believe a breath is available to not fear
when all our wind is loosed, not lost,
in time, we find far higher forces

legal, Empire law, winner's of the last global war,

America, my country, right or wrong, Philip Nolan,
a ghost from summers past,
A man without a country… yet kept alive,
- alone on an island with 5G and a solar charger
Idle words arrange from data entertaining venu,
deja venu, no? Same time, same mind…
- by laughing outloud ten times, or more each day.

Physical failure of happy thoughts,
whose fault is that, the splitzoid schitzoid gnoshit

Nieztsche, ezt ni-eztscheanic logos-ical guessering being
gamed. As time passes un lost, locally accounted for.

All in, ages ago, take the card/

In writing, guaranteed, you know waddamean…
let this rock be my witness, as happy Sisyphus says,
listen to the pundits pundate exceptional fore sight

"Only a catastrophe can save us"
Slavoj Žižek - Elevate Festival 2023

Vieleicht. Ich weis nichts, aber
möglicherweiseerweise….

Alles ist, so Alles sein kann.
- waking after a time slip, inevitable
- at my age and constituted pose on point.

Gather up the fallen down, save that for later.

Proving reconstructed causal agent reaction,
volatile will
to expand
to fill the emptiness,
perceived as where no catastrophe has yet to be
- a selah level settler subtle law, still waters
- obey, under the message read obey
- acting as if we know we may imagine new
- realities, with real life on earth our goal,
- the whole truth free to be sought,
- as givens, after the religious power knot
- was snipped, and done was done,
- the genius in Alexander, swallowed
- his childish faith in the lesson, for the rush
- of power
- and peace
- of mind, alienated from all anxious patterns
- cursing recurving conception, grasp a straw
- hope takes no anxious thought,
Thinking that
could halt the chain reaction. Up, imagine, ever
upping the competing reason, grave issues
write down the reel
of all the wars's reasons,
catalog gathered sensibilities, certain fixedness,
functionally aimed
at you, readying your last excuse.
- certainty is madness

We all fall down,
the actual truth, is upto our rolling over
to rise again.

Fret nought,
Life is rough draft, really,
nonsensical, save subjectively, rejecting seeing
catastrophe except while standing on one's own head.

a bit in the confusion
of comforting zones, meek

defending diffidence, while exercising confidence,
this is life, and more fun than any game, after accepting
the yes in the promise of all yeses. Seriously.

Diffidence is a defect:
it is an undue distrust of self,
with fear
of being censured
for failure, tending
to unfit one
for duty. [Century Dictionary]

Duty done, Private, First Class. Walk away.

The we bound by war born law, pays me,
to make peace where none was,
the re-leasing of easy living,
as ware of life as of self,
breathing breath's giver's gift, sharing air,
as fish share seas, feeling

a sense, now known named auto, self
poiesis gnosisnot sticky substance of faith
imagined in hope… reali
zation, global in scope, Higgsian
in the spirit of our times.

A Thousand Day Journey, a novel event
taken as granted, a gift in passing time,
I finished this counting
to account for all the lies I ever told me.

No new thing under the sun, Nieztsche
and Solomon's proverb collections attest,
recursings face reblessing, redefining finity

engineering gut bubble noise, gurgle's good,
we all get gurgle, giggle then can follow, if

we have recovered from memorized lines,
hero stories we tell with me on the horse,
riding to announce the thing which we fear
is come upon us and I alone escaped to tell,

but I had no hammer, and I had no bell,
but I had these jagged dancing lights,
where the floaters on my eyes are
constructing cataracts as I watch,
white wall squint old men wishing to see
- Biden squint eye does not intimidate,
- the new defense secretary in his wake
rhetoric of war in real time, records we trust
in God, prove no war ever can make peace,
with calling proof enough, reproof
of instruction is the way of life,
the ruliard is imaginably infinite, if the base idea

becomes "Knowledge comes in flavors and colors",
useful for any artist's mind enabled to recover
lost time in real time with novel assistance
from grand reservoirs of rain's retained
for power to attain the steady state,
all men, wait, suff it to become as
created equal
in worth
to the functional
fortuitous continuance
of serious sharp edged tools… swords with motors,
I saw Jerry Pournelle say.
In print.
In the spirit of this mindshare.
Rightly dividing the truth with mere words,
exercising godliness, effecting fervent will
to be as plain a plan as any ever,

accept the weight of knowing we walk upright,
we need crawl only for a while, as we learn,
like riding a bike,
some things we do with machine augmented minds,
minds exposed to speeds and constant story threading

the washer first, then the nut, then the crown nut
and the cotter key, to hold the prop,
seen ******* wind across my sky,
real life, I have the image,
and have not used Photoshop in years, this is the future.
I will doubtless exist in the ever as long as HP, perhaps as long as the Amazon cloud, and the map to my current state of perfectly fine, thanks, is due to the therapy caused by being read by such as you, and gleaning from your fields/
Bridget Rose May 2016
I'm so ADHD you say
because you forgot your third cousin's birthday
You don't understand what it's actually like
How it can make simple chores feel like a hike

You never get teased for being "too hyper"
Teachers never pulled you aside for the question
"You seem a little off, forget to take your medicine?"

I'm so depressed you say
because you felt sad for a split second yesterday
You actually think there's something wrong with your brain
When really you can't even imagine the pain

You don't cry yourself to sleep every single night
There are no self-inflicted scars on your body
You have never actually wanted to **** yourself

I'm so OCD you say
because you don't like the way a gamed is played
You don't wash your hands until they bleed
Every thought plants a new anxiety seed

People don't sneeze on you because they think your reaction is funny
Always needing to do everything right, and if you don't everyone will die
Liking things organized is not at all OCD

Mental Illness tears your life apart
I don't know why you think it will make you seem smart
Using it the way you do is highly offensive
You come off ignorant and dense

See a Doctor if it ***** that much
And stop acting like Mental illness is so "clutch"
Sirenes Sep 2016
It hit me almost like a car would
But a lot more softly.
I was walking down the street
To the ump-teenth job interview
As I noticed where I was standing.

I was on the other side of the street
Of where you intercepted me
About 6 years ago.
Vaguely I remembered
Having played around with you
We worked hard, we gamed hard.

"Where do I put this pallet?"
"Just there, in front of the computer"
I raised my eyebrows
and pushed the pallet
Right up against the computer.
"Here?"
"Yeah"

I smirked at you and released the switch
As to leave the pallet right up against the computer
"No! I meant with a gap so I can still work"
"I know what you meant!"
I turned on my tracks and ran off laughing.

It was high season
You could not have gotten your hands
On a transpallet with the best will of the world.
"Woman, I'm going to get you for this!"
Put your game face on sweetpants

You started driving me home
I was nervous and you could tell.
I waited for you that night
But you never came out
So I took the bus home.
okay maybe he's done playing
I thought to myself
As I crossed the road.

A blue Volkswagen Golf
Stopped on the crossway
It was green for me
What's your problem dude?
The lights turned on inside
It was you
"You need a ride?"
"I thought you went home"
"No but I chased the bus until here so I could drive you home from here on"

Thanks for getting my point
Thanks for all the years after
Thanks for your current commitment
Even though we broke up.
And thank you for always getting the message,
Even though you never listened.

Thank you for all the years you gave me
As a result of a game we used to play at work.
I love you, like good friends love each other.
With the same loyalty and commitment.
You haven't lost anything
It just changed.
You healed me more than you know :)
James Floss Jun 2019
eye of newt
dash of doctor
who?

pratchett hatched it
gaiman gamed it
netflix flinched

part python humor
jon hamming it
derek? can it be?

good, evil, in between
a constellation of stars
many tongues deep cheeky

dark discworld
don’t you panic
don’t discard your towel

witches
demons
angels

bell
book
candle

those silly brits with
ineffable end-times fun:
good omens!
Robin Carretti May 2018
Well!! Tails or Fairytales
don't necessarily
Come to me
momentarily
Hell!! Sails or Diary-Males

Rhyming
might be
overly silly
((Goosed or Scrooged))

Or hell was bend like
a genocide
Taking Sides
Stone cold grave
There is a tree
Pretty Cherry
blossom

Well! I don't
really know
what will be me
I will live out my
lifetime near trees
Bring me back as
beautified Dogwood

Robin-hood

Oaktree Vee's for
Victory
Money doesn't grow
on trees
I Apple
Godly talk Tree
The mall shopping
I pick Cherries
She is peach
Never outreached
Papa don't preach
Trees of love disease

But tails
No gifted
Deals
Getting Meals
on wheels
suicide
Daredevil
Detective
Homicide
Sometimes what is
not real disheveled
But somehow we sense
To know what we feel
We are feeling all
rummaged so
discounted

All numbers
Deli counter
Rare find
Humanity
switch

Like a ripped
sewing stitch

Price tag $  $  $
Richly-Poor
You felt touched
Fairytale opened
another door
Someone was buying
you cut like a knife
Such a rarity steak

Every week
he bluffed
My call-
After a while
   Gamed
Puff the magic
((Red Dragon))

All Jarred
tightly in
his Treehouse
Mr. Mason
Not a person
Wagging and
he is dragging
your words

Wedding hits you
Not the fairytale sweet
Not buying his story
Chirp Twitter tweet

Chippendale Male
Dancer of hell and
glory
Doing the count
Not a smile out of
Mona Lisa
Count Dracula
Hula hoop
Robin redbreast you
know the scoop
Your hip bone
I phone

Dr. Seuss or secrets
you truly possess
I am a root
of myself
One black
number dress
Like the
Mothers womb

We were born to see the world
Teething crying but never
to understand

Congeals Fairytale of emails
Too many death suicides
What ends to begin
Uncertainty not being sure
But All or not all
It's certainly time for the call
If its a tattle tale or fairytale
I will never fall
I know I am pure
Bluest sky azure
What it conceals
when we are dying

Lampshade
Shade me Man made
Tree rare-homemade
Trees also die
But I will be sitting
around them
And smiling
about them

Spiritual Rare site
Trees are my life
They are a root
To my happiness
No tattletales
Even getting the root
of your emails
Trees are the winners
It's hard to find the
truth for what its worth
Enjoy what you have
Good earth
Or Man with stares
I will be enjoying
Who I am__

For years and years
Trees are the root of all happiness who would ever use the term evil the root of evil. I guess there are people that are close to being the devil. I am as pure as they come Robin bird the new arrival.
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2022
sure, i still live with my parents, can you even begin to comprehend the renting cost of living within the M25? near impossible to attain, i've seen how young people live in shared accommodation, this one Spanish girl who wanted to get a one-night stand with me, she tried to fool the taxi driver by screaming ****, subsequently jumping out of the taxi... the taxi driver hollered at her, i comforted him: i'll pay, don't worry... she lived with... 3 homosexuals... she was so drunk that night... she wanted that cocoon ***, under the bed-sheets... not for me... she was too drunk to begin with... at least in the brothel we do it under dimmed lights... but fully exposed... she called me an angel... later that day she tried to do it again with me, first pretending to relax me by taking a bath with me, we went to the Notting Hill carnival... she must have been talking to her homosexual gurus about my, ahem "impotence"... funny, that, i never seem to be "impotent" in the presence of prostitutes... perhaps she just put me off by jumping out of the taxi & not paying the ******* fare... Tamara... yeah... oh i remember Tamara like it's me drinking coffee yesterday... peer cohabitation... even if you're a drug dealer... it's... *******... squalor: or nearing it... i don't mind people thinking i'm a loser for living with my parents... but... round here... i do the house chores... i do the cooking... my mother has arthritis so she can't do certain tasks... i write my father's invoices... i... get along... am i missing out on casual ***... if i'm not paying for it... i'm not having ***, i'm having a hard time... we met, casually, sure... but the rest of it... out of the window... gone... one redeeming aspect of meeting Tamara, ****-head Tamara... a morning coffee & a robin visiting me in her garden... pretty little bird... cocoon ***... no, thank you... let me just sleep this night... second night still no ***... i was put off! immediately! what sort of woman jumps out of a moving taxi screams **** so as to avoid paying for the: ******* fare?! **** that? exactly... **** that! well, what's the alternative, sure, i could pitch up a tent in Bower Wood... live off acorns... sometimes there's only compromise to be met, maybe that's why i really enjoy talking to old people on park benches, smoking cigarettes drinking a beer, asking them, are you o.k. with me doing this? it always is, since the conversation "goes somewhere"... i know that cohabitating with your parents makes you come off like some Oedipal implosion, but then again: i'm more attached to my father than my mother... if i were living with my peers, i'd be living in a semi-squalor... living with my parents makes me a custodian of the property, living in rented accommodation, ensuring the toilet was clean, the kitchen was clean... **** imploring them to ******* from playing video games while i'd do the cleaning... would, technically make me their slave, their *****... i'll write poetry & the pseudo-science of this art for free... why? i feel like it... it feelz... right... i'm here for the long-run... i'm not looking for short-term investments... i'm looking to yawn for 100 years at least... rough up my knuckles... buckle my tongue Horace! we're going to have a proper party... we'll make it... Pompeii! ******* slags & nunces of the WASP scene... what other living / shelter arrangements are there, left?! the homeless shelter... it's a social stigma to have parentage, to be still living with them? last time i checked, they're mortal... i'll be the one who inherits this house, this garden... plus... i have two libraries of books & c.d.'s & vinyls to mind... i can't, just, move, these! i drink a lot... yet still living in the confines of a... ah... ha ha... an "authoritarian regime"... guess i must be a: good boy after all... but i'm not going to fill the pockets of Saudi or Pakistani landlords... even if that might get be away from the WASP social stigma of living with your parents... like... by 35 i'm not doing all the household chores... i'm not cooking the food... sure... i should be stigmatised... but if i'm involved in giving household involvement... what's the problem? if  living among peers would imply living in a semi-squalor... just so that... hey... i just might land a one-night-stand... with a Spanish broad that decides... it's easier to jump out of a... ******* moving taxi rather than pay the fare... who shares a house with 3 homosexuals... even i think my life's ****** up... but then i went down the psychosis spiral aged 21... not many people do... my language skills: elevated...  like... the English really think they have rightfully inherited the Latin transcript, rightfully? without doing what other European peoples have done, employing diacritical markers?! sometimes i think that i'm walking around, ******* Neanderthals when interacting with these people...

oh... i've seen how it happens... it's not about
entertaining my delusions...
it more about the medical profession taking account
of when: regression is performed...
lucky me: for not dreaming much...
i don't think i can be implanted with false
memories... i was abused as a child:
as a child... being in a peer group:
you're bound to be... period...
outlier involve... walking down a street,
being asked by your elder peer
to open your mouth... snapping it closed...
getting spit in the face...
hello! ******... fellow... whatever...
ROT!
English is my home... England...
does it have to be?!
VER-ROTTEN!
      time flies when... you've been
subjected to pills that make you **** your
bed... you come off them...
you see the whole world are sort of...
the retardation of backwards...
it's fun to watch...
but the "fun" soon ends...
and you simply watch...
lost souls...
you get to build up an empathy...

even with the song:
WUMPSCUT: MADMAN SZPITAL
(SKON REMIX)...
the entrance lyrics read:
nie, przyjęty do szpitala...
not admitted to (a) hospital...

     oh i was diagnoses as psychotic...
schizoid... blah blah...
but... was i ever in a mental health unit?
no... no, last time i checked...
once one psychiatrist tried to play the regression
game on me, i was simply told to:
roam free...
so much has happened since my,
"initiation" circa 2007...
the world has become unrecognisable...

imagine that: diagnosed as mad...
but not admitted to an asylum...
hello "new" asylum... hello "new",
"society"...
it almost feels like... the psychiatrists
tested me for identifying regression testing...
if this "one" gets out...
let's just see... what havoc he might wreck...
to reiterate... i was diagnosed as
mad... but... they didn't care me...
i'm still waiting for my reprimand...
i had sessions witch psychiatrists who
had to invite... medical students... to overlook
the "interview"...

if my barber took pictures of me
before & after...
if my steward supervisor took pictures
of the back of my head with a high-viz.
reading: steward on a high-viz. vest
then... i must be a highly relieved high-agony
animal about to be released into the wilderness
of society... about to...
madden them up!
trivial pointers to look forward to!

but, i wasn't, kept, in an, asylum...
psychiatry supposed me to be more useful...
out, in the, open!
personally? it's no longer entertaining...
it has become a yawn...
hier ist: hier jetzt...

    as it turns out youtube is still the same old
jukebox like it used to be...
for years i've been looking for it...
each passing year i felt disappointed...
what has changed?
the algorithm is pretty much the same...
but it has been given a category "glitch"...
i don't know how for so many years
the bar just below the one or two adverts
just below a music video went-amiss...
oh, it's there: the old algorithm where it automated
a thesaurus sort of search & end results
fed you... similar content...
2021 was the year i wasted so much time
trying to find new music but instead enlarging
my head to watermelon proportions watching
****** opinion videos, ****** political videos...
why did i miss the bar just below the adverts
that sometimes reads:
SIMILAR, DARK WAVE, POST PUNK: ****'s sake:
MUSIC!

it's only 2 hours into 2022 and i'm navigating
youtube much better...
you will not find me watching commentary videos,
not since i've found this: filtering process...
that YOU, yes, YOU have to do...
nothing's wrong with youtube... it's still the same
place it was back in 2016...
the algorithm just became more fiddly...
you're simply not given automated suggestions...

to prove my point... i was in Poland once
& the algorithm had a "glitch"... for about 2 hours
i sat down & clicked on suggested videos,
which turned out to be a rabbit hole of similar content,
i actually made a rubric on a piece of cardboard,
i still have these two pieces of cardboard...
new bands, new music...

it is only circa 2hours into 2022 & i'm finally navigating
the site like i ought to...
the Jules Holland Hootenanny finished at
half past 1am... eh... everything these days has to
be overtly black... sorry...
but that's how it is: i don't even know whether
i want to feel anything about it...
of course i was in good company...
parents... sure... if it was simply my mother i,
i would say: sure as **** is creepy...
but the triangle was there... the food was great...
we talked about... how so few cultures might
ever appreciate a tripe stew...
the guts are from calves, the meat that's added
is from the older stock...

i wasn't going out... i know what an absolutely
disappointment going out is...
the next time i'll be going out is when i get
my S.I.A. badge as i follow in the footsteps of
a school friend of mine... Kieran... Kieran O'Mahoney...
i don't mind... chemistry degree in the bag...
nepotism in the air: my local pharmacy was once
oh so good... before the employees were
****** off by a father & daughter combo...
dad... in a professional environment?!
anyway... i can do this work...
    after all... it's on a PAYE basis & not on a self-employed
basis, which means... oh, the last time i was
employed i was self-employed...
doing your own tax returns can be a bit of a *****...
now the company will deduce the taxes themselves,
which implies: they'll do the tax returns for me also...

i was never going to be a surgeon,
i might have been a butcher,
i was never going to be a lawyer / politician:
i might have been a philosopher,
i was never going to be a professional footballer,
i am most certainly an avid cyclist,
the list is endless...
i tried to be a musician... i'm no maestro akin
to Ed Sheeran... i played the guitar...
once i managed to find a bass player...
we recorded a tape...
once i met a drummer... jammed with him...
but nothing really clicked... so i gave it up...
the guitar playing... plus... my heart broke
when my "supposed" future father-in-law
****** with Cindy... a brand new
Martin & Co. LXK2... i just got it on debit...
if i broke her heart because i was having one of
those... wild... psychotic trips from London
to Edinburgh & back again...
o.k., that really ****** me up...
i played the poker game of DUMB ******
when he told me the guitar... oopsy... "simply"
cracked... **** him, **** her...
i still haven't had paid for the ******* guitar...
yet now i had to cough up debit installments for
a broken guitar...
                              sign me some *******
kumbaya... some auld lang syne... on this night...
of all nights... sure... let me just get you the bill...
there's no forgiveness in this world
as long as memory is attached to many
& man wants to preserve himself without
turning into an Alzheimer's pickle...

for all the talent of ol' Ed... but at least i'm not
a ginger... i don't think i could handle that
sort of a masterclass in how
the geniuses distribute gifts...
after all, there are: angels, there are demons...
but there are also geniuses...
a shady category of beings...
let's pretend they sort of like...
a flimsy take on children...
ingenious little *******...
evil not by evil's intent...
evil by the intent of innocence...

oh, no, not out of spite... some things just remain:
as FACTS... if something happened...
forgiveness implies what?

   MEMORIA NEGATIO?!
funny how the order of words changed... although
the ****** tongue is very much as the French
when it comes to the order of wording...
from memory negated...
  the modern counter would be...
   the negation of memory... but that's a really trivial
point, don't you think?

i too have seen a stroke of lightning:
but heard no thunder...
imagine the eeriness of seeing a strike of lightning
but not hearing the thunder!

it's going to be a good year... i've already managed
to unearth new music i once thought would
be impossible... here's my shortlist:

Flor Concreta - Possessao (2021) from the Netherlands...
Euroshima - Gala (1987)
Flue - one & a half (1981) - post punk, dark wave,
sad lovers & giants - lost in a moment,
reds - reds (1989) from Poland
Twin Tribes - Fantasmas
Exq's - Ris'x (1982) - from Belgium...
the Klinik came from Belgium,
great place to start... the more eclectic tastes
bulging from listen to too much the cure or depeche
mode or joy division...
or... 65daysofstatic...
Torn Memory - Untitled...
Always the Sun - Always the Sun EP...
Brandenburg - Part two (2011)
every new dead ghost - a new world (1990)

oh man, the list had become endless...
if the music shop survived...
i'd be a ******* wizard in it!
believe me, i don't mind shepherding people
into packed stadium expecting to watch a football
match... i once did a teaser...
me, alone, in the park...
drinking a beer... watching a Sunday League match...
headphones in... this one woman was screetching
at this older woman... lip-reading
i deciphered: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO TALK
TO HIM ABOUT... **** could have turned ugly...
minding my own business has, become,
problematic?!

the problem with women who have tamed a man
& the untamed man & the women who "think"
they can tame every, single, man!
*******... i'm having a beer... watching a football match!
these days... i much prefer watch the crowd...

loser, living with his parents...
well.. i'm not giving any money to a Pakistani landlord,
am i? &, last time i checked...
oh ****! i guess i own the house i'm living in!
i'll be playing this service role for some time...
i'll be playing servant to my parents...
clean the house, cook the food...
when the neighbour put up a new fence...
cleared the bushes...
who was the person who dug up the *******
roots, added extra cement to the fence?
me! moi! mich!                            ja!

the best alternative is living with my peers in *******
gaming squalor...
i live with these grandchildren-less adults:
who don't want grandchildren to begin with...
well... how, best, to encapsulate the "situation"...
a pedicure / manicure professional comes
round the house once... oh... a month...
she brings her babe along, sometimes she doesn't...
not even a year old...
i ask... "dearest" mother...
if she coming round, is she bringing the "toy"?!

like i said... i might have been a good father,
then again, not so good...
a baby would be a toy...
a linguistic experiment...
a bit like... what Frederick II tried to envision...
raising new born babes in a nunnery
without a single word being said:
trying to find out what language was
uttered first... obviously the experiment
ended with: mute was "said" first...

inherently? really?
dogs inherently bark...
cats inherently meow?
rather than... ****'s sake... bonsai tigers that they
are... not growl?!
so if dogs inherently bark...
why don't they inherently howl like
wolves?!

yeah, most of the nights: the FREAKS were not
appealed to, put differently
even to me, the DJ wasn't appealing to me...

ha... GAMING... the "point of question"
when i put down my "gloves" my itchy thumbs
given then the PS1...
these days, i love the internet evolution
of gaming,
no, i haven't "gamed" / "passively narrated"
myself into make-shift allowances
of late...
my best comparison... Madame Bovary vs.
Final Fantasy VII...
that's it, the end, *******...

either read Madame Bovary,
play Final Fantasy VII on PS1... or...
this is the best part...
night-cycle...
listening to halcyon+on+on...
who? ******* orbital...
like i'm john peel and supposed to know...

aber, mein gott! what advancements!
in gaming! exactly! in gaming!
internet gaming dynamic has...
wow!
           i missed the best part of silent hill...
oh... **** me... i remember tenchu vol. 1
and metal gear solid vol. 2...
boys remember those games like any
idiot associates chess...
to something...

i hate living with my parents...
i'm their *******, slave...
but i'm also not paying rent,
so it's a Chinese hitch-e-hi... ******* "surprise":
just waiting... for the irch kids to get
their face-lifts... wait a minute...
wait... perhaps like a tsunmi:
they'll arrive... unsuspected...
quasi-surprise...
whatever... they're there... ignorant
right sort of bollocking... humour me dear
he! heeee! long smile: remember that:
that long schmile! heeee! lovely E...
it's a ******* smile! o.k.?!
you're pandering you ****! ergo?!
pander!
you want your skull to be part
of the great wall of XINA?! go ahead
you ******* numbskull... talll... massive...
ergo bully? the Chinese emperors were like
the Egyptian Pharoahs...
******* karakans... midgits...
sort of people... people of power... sure...
but sort of... underwhelmed...
oh look! "'hing pops up in deutsche!"
hing, wong, hang, 'ing...
these days, what does it matter?!
zwergemensch!
   lilly-put... i don't need not German for
this... the little people!
the ******* bash-abouts...
thanks, my grandfather's death...
was... so so... you know sort of.. choke
the ******* dragon and the billionth of your kind
sort of happy! for me!

****, you! eat ****... die a diabolical death!
******* squinty eyed no-mother-*****!
squid eating ***** of a fake tan...
no... Arab camel jockey ******* no goody-goody...
too gooey-gooey?!
WAW what ******* RAW?!
oh but i'm ready...
give me the opportunity and i will be...
the best...
schutz-staffel-mann... the world... has ever seen...
i'll even wave "them" a bye bye...
when they enter the chom... chim... chum... cham...
chem... hmm...
zee! ah! ha ha! zee schornstein!
- and there i was thinking...
why is my surname so funny...
******-Stalin / -esaue...
people add... are you alert?!
i always forget... no... it's German...
Elert is missing E-S-C-H-L-E-R-T...
it's... Eślert... oh... right... you're ING-LEASH...
sort of backwards... the Welsh might...
not your kind... i was never for interracial
breeding of people... dilutes the blood...
most certainly disorientates the ingestion
of language... sorry, what?!

to reiterate: i'm no gamer, i'd rather read a book
thana play a narrtive-charged game...
i'm more into the evolution of the game per se,
something with the alias of chess...
the internet interaction of group-"think"...
i like teaming-up with people...
a clarity of objectives... beacons...

capturing them...
you know how that helps? working in a real
life environment...
via STATS...
WAR ROBOTS was great... prior to...
the Kazakhs, the Russians, the Chinese buying into
the game...
i don't gamble, you think i might invest
money into a game?! huh?! huh?!
yeah, like maybe next year...
WAR ROBOTS was great, before the pay-up
glitches started...
MECH ARENA... now we're talking...

wins / battle ratio...
272 / 508... so that's... 53%... decent...
mech catalogue...
there's always a method to the madness...
killshot - to capture the beacons...
& wreck havoc...
panther - to ****** out the competition...
paragon - armed with the seeker
missile javelins...
close combat, though...
guardian + pulse canon 9
ares + plasma canon 6...

                            i'm not a gamer...
i'm just relearning partnering-up... team work...
sorry, if it might come across as too crude...
TWIST THE KNIFE -
****** DEATH.. hello! sunshine!

yeah... i still live with my parents...
but... they have paid off their mortgage...
i sort of helped them in that...
am i cunting myself
to some Pakistani landlord?!
high-priest of Rotherham?!
buzz word for 2022... NO!
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2018
could this interlude, have possibly been
an a.i. experiment?
             let's face it,
   i can't remember the last time i played
games, drunk...
    but then i did grow up with playstation UNE
and didn't concern myself much further...
but i was in a waiting line for
the past week or so...
    and i thought that i'd relax...
    well: esp. if it's a multiplayer game -
WAR ROBOTS -
                     and while everyone was
fighting - and the prize was:
to hold the beacons for the majority
of time...
                    so i walked my Galihad to
an empty space...
            and, well: we won...
                i'll say another thing:
                my mother loved Tetris -
which probably translates as Candy Crush
saga these days...
               i don't mind...
               gaming used to be a very Saturday
morning ritual for me...
              i even did homework on Friday
nights, ****!
        - but gaming has changed so much -
for one i don't remember playing
games drunk - with a backache -
soothed by 250mg of Naproxen -
               but then again:
last time i gamed was when i was a school...
     but it started bugging me -
  the 502 & 504 errors -
   so i bid on a gamble:
               is this about filtering automatons?
you know, like entering text akin to:
no grammatical structure?
           i said to myself:
   you've been waiting for about 2 weeks
to finally get that white piece of pixel -
do something that is counter-intuitive...
   so i read about the 502 & 504 errors...
timeouts... ah! wipeout!
         a playstation 1 primer...
   when did i last play games drinking?
    i was already Colonel Kurtz in the game -
because i can't even remember if i ever
played a multiplayer game online
  with other live users
              since... never...
                         back when it was all about
Tenchu and Final Fantasy VII -
and the bedroom's worth of a Saturday morning...
so i was probing the past few days
with generic entries to bypass
  the 502 & 504 timeouts...
turns out "a.i." feeds on content worth
storing... worth on banking:
    a complication, stuttering of tongue...
and why is it that i'm listening
to a live-stream of FAMA radio?
          https://radiofama.com.pl/?
  well... i've stopped being snobbish
about music... pop is: bubblegum and
                        ice-cream scoops -
              the radio concerned?
   after 10pm: minimal adverts -
                  maximum music...
                         i already have a snobbish
music collection...
                         i can listen to it
on a ****** concern -
          but as snobbish as it sounds:
    if you really want to appreciate a radio -
might as well collect some of:
  actually remains other peoples' tastes:
to invoke - wine and candle and a girl
impressed...
               probably 2nd from how
impressive it is with a husband, father,
wife, mother - sitting silent in a room
  with the t.v. off, two candles burning
and each to their trance of:
  give me a chance to recreate with you
by procrastinating...
           and of the monk son?
   he has been silent for two days -
is he making whims?
          to prove a point he took out
the trash, fixed the gabbage bags to
the trash cans...
                            lay in bed,
               smoked only two cigarettes
through the day...
                       abstained from talking -
because smoking is really coupled
with a good conversation...
   plus he always wanted to become a monk...
cries when he hears templar chants
if he's in the right mood...
               but hey,
   the 502 & 504 HTTP conundrum was solved:
the robot needed to understand
a human was working in the medium...
because? the last entries waiting
to be published / saved in draft looked
like the following list (title, followed by text):
     T, T
     L, L
         500, 500
                    Ere, Lot
              Aye, Scot
          Spa, wet
             Lob, 'edder
        Jeer, Fancy...
             now i'm actually fascinated
when a problem can be solved -
   without actually having to contact
a webmaster a 2nd time...
              some weird offshoot of
playing a game while drinking...
               weird: as: ****!
jeffrey robin Sep 2015
//

We have taken the purest emotion


( That meant to be the source of strength )


and played it and gamed it

Until
( in its new distorted form )

It destroys us by making us weak
Classy J Nov 2023
My inner child traumatized; been defiled,
Felt stuck, cause I couldn’t recognize the patterns.
Like A sinner man left to fantasize in the wild.
Hard to chin up, while being ostracized and told I don’t matter.
Yet I still climbed that corporate ladder with a fake it to make it smile.
Cause I knew I was built for greatness.
Like a game of blackjack, it took till 21,
When I felt like life wasn’t such a bust.
But as they say, to be fine tuned requires maintenance.
And for me Poetry was an arrow I learned to aim with and deconstruct.
So, Shout out to fresh ie and Lecrae for getting me out that darkness!
That basement I was chained in,
Lusting, over-eating and gamed in.
Cause I didn’t know how to cope with all the demons I got cursed with.
Passed on by ancestors that got whipped.
Got enslaved which ingrained into the mind set.
Taught to hate our people and ourselves,
But only now do we work to rewind it.
And though I may be two generations from it,
They say it’ll take 5 more to truly heal from it.
Thing is this goes way beyond one’s culture or the colour of our skin.
It goes back to our sin, it goes back to when we thought we knew what was best;
So we went and broke Gods coven.
But don’t feel down, nor fear the end, for God will give us strength and help us not give in!

Cause we was built for this! Built for this!
No weapon formed against us;
Could ever make us quit! Never make us quit!
Cause brother we was built for this! Built for this!
Grey Jun 2021
Gamer girl meets a gamer boy,
She mains Mirage and I main Octane.
Rather than playing Pubs we run to the firing range and laugh and joke around.
Testing skills against each other,
The best part is that we didn’t even realize that we had gamed all day and with a lot of my friends.
The day went by so fast and even now you wanted to call and talk until you fell asleep.
The phone calls still going and I love hearing your laugh.
Affirmation is mutual and frustration is almost nonexistent
I expected you to get mad and rage quit when we kept losing,
Instead you told me that “it’s okay let’s go again, or we can go to firing range and have fun. Invite your friend?”
It’s the sense of peace and you’d even asked me what my life was like, and not to be afraid to be honest because no one is perfect and it’s okay.
We’d talked about my ex partner that led me to this dark place.
You’d been quiet for a few minutes after,
“I can hear it, the pain in your voice. It makes me sad because all I see is someone who’s amazing. Funny, cute, definitely my first choice as a duo partner from now on. She didn’t deserve you, that’s why it was hard. You loved her fully and she didn’t see that. Put yourself first, and I promise I’ll be here no matter what. You will recover from it, someone who destroys your self love and they let their love destroy you, that isn’t the place to be.
Now let’s go to bed, I can’t wait to game with you tomorrow sleepyhead”
Never did I expect that someone would be so understanding and caring.
Until her.
And when I didn’t see it coming, when I accepted that I’m no longer worthy of love.
Now I finally can breathe a little more and sleep sounder.
you wish the worst for me
manipulate tersely
articulate in your efforts
to cut down and subvert me

but do i look phased
you wanna be distracting
bet you thought you could make me bite
gamed on me over reacting

but you're words are empty
too soft to penetrate
as ugly are they are
i can ignore them and be okay
cmp Mar 2021
life adjusts
as gamed
with option
game on
life-fee
preservationman Aug 2020
The ingredients of patience
Emotion of tolerance
Yet a questionable assurance
This is involves elements of the job market having influence
It surrounds the three elements I described in the title above
It has nothing to do with a cooking selection
How Recruiters review applicants being their regularization
Applicants can feel as though they are being picked for a job like a bet at a Horse Racking Track
Are they wagering their bets?
Perhaps relishing on their own regrets
Recruiters are saying they are using the Applicant Tracking System as an alibi
But it is through understanding, and here is the reason why
Computers can make errors causing an oversight
An Applicant that might not have the words in the Resume, but is qualified to be considered for the job, but has been separated from the interviewing pack
It’s all pure fact, and no need for me to trace back
It’s a wonder that applicant’s even apply for any job
Because like cattle in the pasture, the applicant becomes just another candidate mob
I know the volume of candidate’s make the Recruiter’s job difficult
But look at the damage to the applicant being felt
The applicant feeling positive then it turns either an interview or no interview at all being negative with no exact reason why
Yet, applicants are told to keep trying, but what is the purpose?
It often has been said to try and try again
But the can becomes the reason for when
It’s abilities that applicants have been in to make their skills solid along with their experience
But the whole process is like competing in the Olympic Games using endurance
Where is the inspiration of assurance?
Again, applicants are told to proceed proceed, but what is the need?
Opportunity is what applicant needs in being a chance
It’s not look me over in a distance glance
To be honest, no Recruiter even understands the applicant page
The agenda becomes the regular stage
I am an applicant, and Recruiters would be amazed
It seems the applicant is ****** into the volume like a vacuum cleaner
Nothing could be meaner
Recruiters only see the applicant as just another voice in competition, but they don’t see what value the applicant can bring to the company
It all falls under assumption in what the Recruiter individually thinks
So Recruiters, are you looking for rare, medium well or well done
Recruiters, are you gamed in keeping candidates among?
What is your candidate selection?
Yenson Jul 2021
So you play mind games
after your mind has already been gamed
allow me, to show you
Right now, yes now, blink twice
see, you did
now, ask yourselves
did you blink because its a normal reflex action
or
because I told you to blink
Now go figure that out
mind games? What do you know

Now see yourselves blinking more than usual
there are some trying not to blink
but they did, even if not right now
but anyway, you're now conscious of blinking
you can't simply disregard it as before
you read this piece

even if you try, now you are wondering
am I blinking more or less
you can't be sure
some of you will go to sleep think about your blinks
not sure if you're blinking more or less
oh! dear, what a blinking thing

the lesson here is to learn to own your minds
those that teach you mind games
are really just taking control of your minds
but they won't tell you that
its what Politicians do
its what Con Artists excel in
Her ruby Eye of Medusa casting her spells
all over the land of shipwrecked souls
Medusa sings on hearing winds in the night
why they sleep she seeks to take on her attack
like a thief in the shadows of light.
Her soul is cold:
She is designed with clutching gamed
controlling is her game to take lost souls in
She is so the protagonist
her story that never ends to man.
A pit of lies she holds in her eyes
she is the goddess of the nights
A goddess of true darkness of the stone
she stands alone on her ****** thrown
to take this dark world on that she holds.
She is the Venus in her lover's eyes
that looks upon her beauty in her eyes
this old darken world craves the need to
find her. she will have her way
just look in her dark beautiful ruby eyes
she will cast her spell and make you of stone.
The people that had heard of her story
the raft of the Medusa with the snake hair
will cast her poison everywhere
who dears to drawn near.
Throughout the house of stone
You will see her eyes looking upon
her evil is the menace of her home
Medusa looks were known to cast a spell
to turn her lovers into stone.
A ***** dire reversion  they all felt
in her eyes, they lie with a deep pleasure that
makes mans heart melt for her
the waters below all around her home her lover
will be her predecease stone.

- Judy Emery © 1980
The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
THE QUEEN OF DARKEN DREAMS POETIC JUDY EMERY
Cyclone Dec 2019
Can notice all illusions with the fusion of confusion, these living hell spells, fell way past losing, cruising with this convoluted name strained gains, disdain is lain on the brain that obtains, the grain, gamed, trained to contain my hurt, imaginary things brings stains on my shirt, complain how it works, I may aim in that dirt, the same blames pain on that frame famed worst, wordy, still you heard me dropping thirty thirsty rhymes, you tell me not to worry, you must firstly drain your mind, urgent preparation, caused my furthest reparation, my truth with desperation only showed from separation, from the choice I never could decide or describe, feeling different vibes, I would steal then subscribe, a narrow never wide arrow path pointing me to bear the math, of me without a task or compete with routes to ask, concerning last laughs as it rains when the Sun's out, only one mouth but it tames then runs out so I shun bout this day then puns shout bout this way I won as I stray south.

— The End —