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"effacing" poems
Don't let this self-effacing exterior fool you I am meglo-maniac in the making Social media the perfect introvert's mask Reinventing myself daily Vanessa Ives, girl-about-town, quirky geek An attention ***** ******* in the digital wind For a like, a follow, a retweet.
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Jul 18, 2014
Jul 18, 2014 at 7:24 AM UTC
******* in the digital wind
Pale-skinned girl from Indiana, with freckles, yes, freckles, on your cheek, this is who I am. This is my story. It is only coincidence that I sing it to you, but sing, nonetheless, I do. One morning amidst the restlessness of my top-bunk sheets I heard a whispering and thought it might be God it was me. My unconsciousness begging me for nourishment, silently loudly attacking my awareness with questions: it asked why I neglect it. Pale-skinned girl from Indiana, with freckles, yes, freckles, on your cheek, is this, too, why your body vibrates when your thoughts are feelings? Because you too have recognized feeling as thought? That that faculty of wonder you hush about as if a ***** secret of forgotten childhood memory is something that is as real as the metaphysical pores of a skin you cannot touch, but know is not some foreign, distant, effacing thing, but is thick, is thick, thick as words creaking like old wood in a library filled with students who read so much ******** to get into college but never venture forth for such skin in the skin of those unconscious voices in the shelves? Selves: we call them books but they breathe. The ideas wriggle in your veins like a worm. They block your blood yet move your soul. The stillness of your speechlessness is some movement in itself. So I suspect of you, pale-skinned girl from Indiana, with freckles, yes, freckles, on your cheek. So I suspect of myself. I do not understand how else I could have been born without eyes which we call eyes. I cannot see why else. I cannot. You cannot. There is light over there in that darkness. A glimpse of it- a sliver of silver has shocked you into your paleness. Into my blackness. It is the same difference. A different same. Line break: A mirror tells me things with my eyeless eyes. My brownness ***** me into journeys with tunnels so deep that we call them pupils. In the distance that I gaze into I find myself gazing into a distance I gaze into. Fathom it. Do not. Will not will it will it will not willed. Touching it will wilt it without touching: this is the soul you said does not exist. It is not there. It is. In Indiana. Where's that? asks my blood. In Indiana. Over there? my finger points out the window. No. It is. It is. Not. Suddenly I smell something and it is myself. It is not Indiana or freckles or pale-skin. I ask you where it is. Suddenly you smell something and it is yourself. It is not Gaborone or curly-haired or black. You ask me where I think it is. What the **** do we know?
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Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 9:04 PM UTC
A Walk to the Science Classrooms on a Post-Rainy Autumn Day.
Pale-skinned girl from Indiana, with freckles, yes, freckles, on your cheek, this is who I am. This is my story. It is only coincidence that I sing it to you, but sing, nonetheless, I do. One morning amidst the restlessness of my top-bunk sheets I heard a whispering and thought it might be God it was me. My unconsciousness begging me for nourishment, silently loudly attacking my awareness with questions: it asked why I neglect it. Pale-skinned girl from Indiana, with freckles, yes, freckles, on your cheek, is this, too, why your body vibrates when your thoughts are feelings? Because you too have recognized feeling as thought? That that faculty of wonder you hush about as if a ***** secret of forgotten childhood memory is something that is as real as the metaphysical pores of a skin you cannot touch, but know is not some foreign, distant, effacing thing, but is thick, is thick, thick as words creaking like old wood in a library filled with students who read so much ******** to get into college but never venture forth for such skin in the skin of those unconscious voices in the shelves? Selves: we call them books but they breathe. The ideas wriggle in your veins like a worm. They block your blood yet move your soul. The stillness of your speechlessness is some movement in itself. So I suspect of you, pale-skinned girl from Indiana, with freckles, yes, freckles, on your cheek. So I suspect of myself. I do not understand how else I could have been born without eyes which we call eyes. I cannot see why else. I cannot. You cannot. There is light over there in that darkness. A glimpse of it- a sliver of silver has shocked you into your paleness. Into my blackness. It is the same difference. A different same. Line break: A mirror tells me things with my eyeless eyes. My brownness ***** me into journeys with tunnels so deep that we call them pupils. In the distance that I gaze into I find myself gazing into a distance I gaze into. Fathom it. Do not. Will not will it will it will not willed. Touching it will wilt it without touching: this is the soul you said does not exist. It is not there. It is. In Indiana. Where's that? asks my blood. In Indiana. Over there? my finger points out the window. No. It is. It is. Not. Suddenly I smell something and it is myself. It is not Indiana or freckles or pale-skin. I ask you where it is. Suddenly you smell something and it is yourself. It is not Gaborone or curly-haired or black. You ask me where I think it is. What the **** do we know?
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72
Fewer adults are laughing, It's not funny any more; We leaned on poles to direct our titter, Quite harmless in its day. And Engine 9's been derailed, We're catching tigers, But It's still okay. We rolled our eyes at Jewish jibes, And salesmen in the barn; Or the Newfie warning, *Don't slip on the ice, Don't ya know, bay, it's hard frozen*. We've pulled our collective heads out, We're sniffing old world air. I liked the self-effacing glibs, Affected with a brogue. Now there's a hard line on a country bridge, Across a brook, or penal school ditch. It's just not funny any more.
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Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 10:32 AM UTC
Hedge Schools
JIMMY large nose natural hipster totally informed clever funny sincere yet aloof JOEY tall tan lanky physique long thick brown hair in braid striking good looks yet self-unaware SHANNON athletic build attractive brunette accomplished poet so good she doesn’t need to prove it emotional sensitive tough ANNE Joni Mitchell good looks bohemian self-effacing impulsive submissive ***** ACT 1 scene 1 a deserted chic indie reception area somewhere present 8:30 PM JIMMY (singling out Anne) you’re so beautiful i want you so bad ANNE oh yeah you’re sweet to say that JIMMY i mean it you symbolize hope inspiration in me ANNE hope? oh god Anne looks away runs fingers through her hair JIMMY hear that song over the speakers? ANNE yeah JIMMY it’s “Home” Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes very cool check out rough trade east version on youtube ANNE yeah right Anne blows air out her nose looks away in Shannon’s direction SHANNON (singling out Joey) do you read? JOEY yeah some SHANNON what are you currently reading? JOEY uh a text about economic international relations SHANNON hmmm interesting do you ever read literature or poetry? JOEY nah not much SHANNON like movies? JOEY yeah sure some SHANNON what’s you’re favorite movies? JOEY “The Devil Wore Prada” “Eddie” “I’m Not There” i don’t know there are tons of movies i enjoy SHANNON interesting JOEY i need to ask Jimmy something excuse me Joey walks across area to Jimmy JOEY that western shirt looks so cool on you JIMMY thanks yeah it’s a hip shirt what up dude? JOEY oh god Shannon is hitting on me she’s way too full of herself way too available JIMMY hmmm nice toned body bet she’s a tiger in the hay JOEY not interested JIMMY me neither but i could be persuaded honestly i’m blown away with Anne Anne approaches Shannon ANNE Jimmy is a conceited **** he thinks he’s so cool Shannon you look so beautiful this evening your hair complexion SHANNON funny I felt so blah all day what did Jimmy say to you? he’s not my type but not so bad if only he had Joey’s looks Joey’s shy sweetness look at Joey over there his eyes lips he’s so **** I think I’m falling in love and yet i recognize falling in love requires a huge territory of untried tolerance Anne’s fingers stealthily pocket Shannon’s tortoise-shell comb while Shannon observes Joey fawning over Jimmie across room ACT 2 refer to ACT 1 scene 1
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Jul 3, 2010
Jul 3, 2010 at 6:15 AM UTC
indie eternity
JIMMY large nose natural hipster totally informed clever funny sincere yet aloof JOEY tall tan lanky physique long thick brown hair in braid striking good looks yet self-unaware SHANNON athletic build attractive brunette accomplished poet so good she doesn’t need to prove it emotional sensitive tough ANNE Joni Mitchell good looks bohemian self-effacing impulsive submissive ***** ACT 1 scene 1 a deserted chic indie reception area somewhere present 8:30 PM JIMMY (singling out Anne) you’re so beautiful i want you so bad ANNE oh yeah you’re sweet to say that JIMMY i mean it you symbolize hope inspiration in me ANNE hope? oh god Anne looks away runs fingers through her hair JIMMY hear that song over the speakers? ANNE yeah JIMMY it’s “Home” Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes very cool check out rough trade east version on youtube ANNE yeah right Anne blows air out her nose looks away in Shannon’s direction SHANNON (singling out Joey) do you read? JOEY yeah some SHANNON what are you currently reading? JOEY uh a text about economic international relations SHANNON hmmm interesting do you ever read literature or poetry? JOEY nah not much SHANNON like movies? JOEY yeah sure some SHANNON what’s you’re favorite movies? JOEY “The Devil Wore Prada” “Eddie” “I’m Not There” i don’t know there are tons of movies i enjoy SHANNON interesting JOEY i need to ask Jimmy something excuse me Joey walks across area to Jimmy JOEY that western shirt looks so cool on you JIMMY thanks yeah it’s a hip shirt what up dude? JOEY oh god Shannon is hitting on me she’s way too full of herself way too available JIMMY hmmm nice toned body bet she’s a tiger in the hay JOEY not interested JIMMY me neither but i could be persuaded honestly i’m blown away with Anne Anne approaches Shannon ANNE Jimmy is a conceited **** he thinks he’s so cool Shannon you look so beautiful this evening your hair complexion SHANNON funny I felt so blah all day what did Jimmy say to you? he’s not my type but not so bad if only he had Joey’s looks Joey’s shy sweetness look at Joey over there his eyes lips he’s so **** I think I’m falling in love and yet i recognize falling in love requires a huge territory of untried tolerance Anne’s fingers stealthily pocket Shannon’s tortoise-shell comb while Shannon observes Joey fawning over Jimmie across room ACT 2 refer to ACT 1 scene 1
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41
*Deadly deluded deceitful demon's of:  inter-racial racism; murderous religiosity; frightful jealous hackings; tribally usurping genocides;  atrocious political strength-of-arms; invading ferocity; selfish presidential reasoning; Springs cut Irises - dripping vital red not purple, far from my window; self-effacing prime ministerial decrees of war; sanctioned moves by greedy banker pawns; designer labelled terrorism; War, a game now called 'Texas Billionaires Commodity'; a countries paid survival; seeded maniacal jealousy; globalisation's murdering grandiose; grandiloquent made walking bombaster(s) ; revenger mob leaders; our taxed Fools World !? Globalisation - orchestrated profiteers, betting our losses*
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May 21, 2010
May 21, 2010 at 11:16 PM UTC
Monsters
1358 The Treason of an accent Might Ecstasy transfer— Of her effacing Fathom Is no Recoverer— — The Treason of an Accent Might vilify the Joy— To breathe—corrode the rapture Of Sanctity to be—
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2.5k
The Treason of an accent
In the beginning there was Shakespeare with his worldly verse that let me fly betwixt the Merchant and the Shrew a flame was set alight and it grew and bore testimony to an increasing love for the music of the mind                                                                                            Tagore came later with more a serious thought                              a distant father to my immaturity undulating spirit that within me lay                                                        inspired Always thought I’d grow up and be like Plath                                  Or like Dorothy Parker                                                                                                                  always in some dark corner trying on all the mental dresses my imagination supplied powerful black and pungent hues tears that no one cried confessions which became                                             accusations self-effacing in my pride                                                                 then I found e.e.cummings that tricky wonderful guy who weaved puzzles into his poems                                                    such spell-binding joy! I am become Ekalavya from absent teachers i have learnt to string my voice together - Vijayalakshmi Harish         31.08.2012 Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
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Aug 31, 2012
Aug 31, 2012 at 8:14 AM UTC
Absent Teachers
In the beginning there was Shakespeare with his worldly verse that let me fly betwixt the Merchant and the Shrew a flame was set alight and it grew and bore testimony to an increasing love for the music of the mind                                                                                            Tagore came later with more a serious thought                              a distant father to my immaturity undulating spirit that within me lay                                                        inspired Always thought I’d grow up and be like Plath                                  Or like Dorothy Parker                                                                                                                  always in some dark corner trying on all the mental dresses my imagination supplied powerful black and pungent hues tears that no one cried confessions which became                                             accusations self-effacing in my pride                                                                 then I found e.e.cummings that tricky wonderful guy who weaved puzzles into his poems                                                    such spell-binding joy! I am become Ekalavya from absent teachers i have learnt to string my voice together - Vijayalakshmi Harish         31.08.2012 Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
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31
humans born a mess, messengers carrying blank notepads, sheet music, brought from within to the without a baby-sized handful of historical residues retained, garnered from all too brief a prelim existence, arriving possessing hints of what may be most emerging crying, crying over loss of the womb security, for seers all, all see unaccountable futures clouded by an inevitable chance of rain and death all of us, no one excepted, covered for months in **** stained fluids , a holy, ***** combination of amniotic nourishment, and our own waste a hint of what is to come? human then spends the rest of life cleaning up after himself, mostly with tasks of addition, punctuating by the occasional cleansing of elimination subtraction making room for the next love, labored birthing of a baby poem, from your womb, midwifed, haunting ghosts of three note tunes, begging for a set of lyrics and a great chorus everybody can sing, a completion competition going along, all along, to the goings on, all our routes preternatural crooked, lived a life of pretense, a straightened out life, which is the nuanced, connected summary of our components which are all curves, dots on a line and the composition source, the secret chords employed, tech installed just prior to birth, effacing glorious sadness, glorious joy, the human building blocks, with the certainty that *everybody knows, that's how it goes everybody knows,* only fools believe, you'll live forever but live at least long enough to sing and write of a man cleaning up his own life's messes, and perchance, after our absence, leaving the world better for it
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Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 10:49 AM UTC
For Leonard: A Man, Cleaning Up After Himself
humans born a mess, messengers carrying blank notepads, sheet music, brought from within to the without a baby-sized handful of historical residues retained, garnered from all too brief a prelim existence, arriving possessing hints of what may be most emerging crying, crying over loss of the womb security, for seers all, all see unaccountable futures clouded by an inevitable chance of rain and death all of us, no one excepted, covered for months in **** stained fluids , a holy, ***** combination of amniotic nourishment, and our own waste a hint of what is to come? human then spends the rest of life cleaning up after himself, mostly with tasks of addition, punctuating by the occasional cleansing of elimination subtraction making room for the next love, labored birthing of a baby poem, from your womb, midwifed, haunting ghosts of three note tunes, begging for a set of lyrics and a great chorus everybody can sing, a completion competition going along, all along, to the goings on, all our routes preternatural crooked, lived a life of pretense, a straightened out life, which is the nuanced, connected summary of our components which are all curves, dots on a line and the composition source, the secret chords employed, tech installed just prior to birth, effacing glorious sadness, glorious joy, the human building blocks, with the certainty that *everybody knows, that's how it goes everybody knows,* only fools believe, you'll live forever but live at least long enough to sing and write of a man cleaning up his own life's messes, and perchance, after our absence, leaving the world better for it
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49
beneath            one                            effacing               blush                           simmers         veil ties               liquidly i stare                                                   fears   pink with praise      lusts withheld       thimble shames embalm a gift identity                   daily sunny graves                                            dissembled life with deeper breath akin to fisher netting cast                      fog caress mneumosyne             lover's misty thigh                                                                                                  traps me willingly   blinded   i taste ambrosia                           gazing at between zones                               believing anything again cliches pyroclastically reborn in celebrants of ash and cynic deaths             energetic     swim         i stroke   a butterfly        in Love                                 instant tribadists      commit   a joyous toast to joy itself
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Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 7:12 PM UTC
private thoughts, irruption
beneath            one                            effacing               blush                           simmers         veil ties               liquidly i stare                                                   fears   pink with praise      lusts withheld       thimble shames embalm a gift identity                   daily sunny graves                                            dissembled life with deeper breath akin to fisher netting cast                      fog caress mneumosyne             lover's misty thigh                                                                                                  traps me willingly   blinded   i taste ambrosia                           gazing at between zones                               believing anything again cliches pyroclastically reborn in celebrants of ash and cynic deaths             energetic     swim         i stroke   a butterfly        in Love                                 instant tribadists      commit   a joyous toast to joy itself
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14
All others talked as if talk were a dance. Clodhopper I, with clumsy feet would break the gliding ring. Early I learned to hunch myself close by the door: then when the talk began I’d wipe my mouth and wend unnoticed back to the barn to be with the warm beasts, dumb among body sounds of the simple ones. I’d see by a twist of lit rush the motes of gold moving from shadow to shadow slow in the wake of deep untroubled sighs. The cows munched or stirred or were still. I was at home and lonely, both in good measure. Until the sudden angel affrighted me—light effacing my feeble beam, a forest of torches, feathers of flame, sparks upflying: but the cows as before were calm, and nothing was burning, nothing but I, as that hand of fire touched my lips and scorched my tongue and pulled my voice into the ring of the dance.
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1.8k
Caedmon
Bring victory, the winged harbinger of the conquest, Beg for tyrannical proclamations: the end of man, the end of men, By now, the greater of the concepts is lost to its own devices, devices, Belching out smoke, that bend the corpses upon their backs. By wrenching from their life a sense of purpose, Byproductively, they feed heroic romanticisms of combat. Brought yet upon these fields, there lies no stranger enemy But that of the tide Being self-effacing, masochistic, Belittling, She breaks herself upon the shore, ravaging the bodies of Both, Playing as ********** and as subservient
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May 6, 2012
May 6, 2012 at 11:27 PM UTC
II
by Arcassin B & Wolfspirit AB :Trying to pull myself out of this hole of a downward prosperity, confide in me or confine me, I'm dead inside either way, don't know how much I can take if I stay, Down the drain, down the drain, down the drain, down in it I go , from the story that was never told, locking me away for money, this isn't charity, lie to them , speak your mind to me, I'm dead inside either way, I just keep sinking more and more, Down the drain, down the drain, down the drain. WS : got my survival kit built into this psyche pulling myself up with each downward tumble ain't gonna let no lifetaster heart waster selfish bleedin' souls pull me down too busy making the best of this go round time to take up slack and draw a new direction upward trajectory, merely seeking perfection this constant self effacing doubt will surely **** me no longer waiting time to let the world thrill me i'm a lover..i ain't no killer juts gonna have to be my own chiller, thriller, AB : hopefully won't drive me to being a dealer, coiling my toes, keeping temptation away in every step, when dirt from the ground arose, filling us up to be the stringy ones, up on desire as I crept, downward I go to an endless cycle of falling, making me so so so so so so sick of everything, I can't keep screaming, down the drain, I filled the void for days just to feel a pain, down the drain, you needing confirmation just seems pretty lame, WS : no time to waste on commiseration i walk proud, upright, secure in my station belie the pomp and circumstance get on with the joy, to live for the dance this thing called life, we need only the living to share the warmth of caring and giving let sleeping dogs lie just where they fall drop the issues unimportant and heed the call each one has a gift, something to offer instead of selfishly filling their coffer it's like this and like that, when we get down to it it's like that and like this, so let's just do it.
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Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 12:55 AM UTC
Wolf Spirit & Arcassin B - "Down The Drain"
by Arcassin B & Wolfspirit AB :Trying to pull myself out of this hole of a downward prosperity, confide in me or confine me, I'm dead inside either way, don't know how much I can take if I stay, Down the drain, down the drain, down the drain, down in it I go , from the story that was never told, locking me away for money, this isn't charity, lie to them , speak your mind to me, I'm dead inside either way, I just keep sinking more and more, Down the drain, down the drain, down the drain. WS : got my survival kit built into this psyche pulling myself up with each downward tumble ain't gonna let no lifetaster heart waster selfish bleedin' souls pull me down too busy making the best of this go round time to take up slack and draw a new direction upward trajectory, merely seeking perfection this constant self effacing doubt will surely **** me no longer waiting time to let the world thrill me i'm a lover..i ain't no killer juts gonna have to be my own chiller, thriller, AB : hopefully won't drive me to being a dealer, coiling my toes, keeping temptation away in every step, when dirt from the ground arose, filling us up to be the stringy ones, up on desire as I crept, downward I go to an endless cycle of falling, making me so so so so so so sick of everything, I can't keep screaming, down the drain, I filled the void for days just to feel a pain, down the drain, you needing confirmation just seems pretty lame, WS : no time to waste on commiseration i walk proud, upright, secure in my station belie the pomp and circumstance get on with the joy, to live for the dance this thing called life, we need only the living to share the warmth of caring and giving let sleeping dogs lie just where they fall drop the issues unimportant and heed the call each one has a gift, something to offer instead of selfishly filling their coffer it's like this and like that, when we get down to it it's like that and like this, so let's just do it.
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53
As you lie on the creaky hospital cot, there is a lot that can be thought by listening to the uneven, rapid wheeze and by looking at the hitherto unseen pallor of your otherwise ruddy cheeks...... Many (im)possibilities can be perceived; that a father I may never be; that my father may never be the same with me; that you may well have entered the last lap in your race for that ever elusive qualifying tag; that come what may, one day you shall really be a non-entity and there may be only me to see you lying limp and lifeless just as you now seem to be...... Perceptions may not be real. The only reality, is a single soul searching query: Does any materialist passion or for that matter, a self-effacing spiritualism, allow anyone to cause the demise of the one still huddled up in that warm, allegedly safe darkness of anonymity? Isn't a human life, howsoever insignificant it be might, too much a price to pay for even the rarest gain... in this provisional little world of putty clay?
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Nov 21, 2019
Nov 21, 2019 at 9:51 AM UTC
Soul Searching
a new poem (words, words, words but another drug), bolt upright, uplight, reattach yourself to the liquid of the music, soothe the irritation, slowdown the shaking hand, give god or his creatures, the nocturnes and sonatas, a chance to restore the pounding of the chest to a leveling equanimity to no avail, the sleep angels have fled from the forest fires in the chest, and the helicopters must quench with the commence of dropping clouds of wet words, when, when will I be released from a life that has no easements words, words, words but another drug, a habit that gives everything but a temporary state, every poem nothing but another her, another lady puncture in my restless body, another juncture, where all your choices are the way of error the high will last, shorter each one, but the track will exist for all the time, a token of human foolishness, the more is the inevitability of the ending, writ, drawn a little closer, and comes with a hand written spongy-apology begging for existing in his notes, motes, dust mites of titles, single verses, elegies, essays half written, passing thots claiming to want to be wannabes, this appears and it's a perfect ending there is no security in poetry, only the unresolvable man in his perfect certainty, never was, nevermore, n'ere will be never, and one poet walks a razor's edge, that is his three tenses struggling for mutual coexistence, one of a calming beauty, a dark glory, a perfect closing, choosing a final solution, a belief in relief, that simultaneously engraves, erases, and equates another new poem fissures to the surface, and the palpable is a magician's illusion, a trick, a feat of dismemberment, an excise of a piece, a drink, a Tennessee whiskey of him, an emission that never gains remission status, all this fakery, a new poem (words, words, words but another drug), excellent, worthless and self- effacing {|||} 3:48am-5:46am
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Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017 at 5:56 AM UTC
a new poem (words, words, words but another drug)
a new poem (words, words, words but another drug), bolt upright, uplight, reattach yourself to the liquid of the music, soothe the irritation, slowdown the shaking hand, give god or his creatures, the nocturnes and sonatas, a chance to restore the pounding of the chest to a leveling equanimity to no avail, the sleep angels have fled from the forest fires in the chest, and the helicopters must quench with the commence of dropping clouds of wet words, when, when will I be released from a life that has no easements words, words, words but another drug, a habit that gives everything but a temporary state, every poem nothing but another her, another lady puncture in my restless body, another juncture, where all your choices are the way of error the high will last, shorter each one, but the track will exist for all the time, a token of human foolishness, the more is the inevitability of the ending, writ, drawn a little closer, and comes with a hand written spongy-apology begging for existing in his notes, motes, dust mites of titles, single verses, elegies, essays half written, passing thots claiming to want to be wannabes, this appears and it's a perfect ending there is no security in poetry, only the unresolvable man in his perfect certainty, never was, nevermore, n'ere will be never, and one poet walks a razor's edge, that is his three tenses struggling for mutual coexistence, one of a calming beauty, a dark glory, a perfect closing, choosing a final solution, a belief in relief, that simultaneously engraves, erases, and equates another new poem fissures to the surface, and the palpable is a magician's illusion, a trick, a feat of dismemberment, an excise of a piece, a drink, a Tennessee whiskey of him, an emission that never gains remission status, all this fakery, a new poem (words, words, words but another drug), excellent, worthless and self- effacing {|||} 3:48am-5:46am
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39
Too many of us prize the place over the person. When I dream, I dream of hobos--6 to 8 of them--huddled around a make-shift fire next to the railroad tracks eating warmed cans of pork and beans. We chat, tell stories and jokes, and sometimes break into laughter.  Maybe Woody Guthrie is among us. Other times, I dream of the **** death camps, not an easy, not an enjoyable, thing to do. But that did happen, and not by economic circumstance. And even if fleetingly, they were together. I think that's what draws me to them. Sometimes I dream of the Lakota Ogala Sioux before Wounded Knee put an end to them and their way of life. I see Crazy Horse, one of my few heroes, always self-effacing, and as true as the arrow he just shot as he was to his word. And when Martin Lither King, Jr was murdered on a balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee by a single rifle bullet to his head, 4 April 1968, I dream of standing over him with others, crying. The ugliest place I've ever seen is Versailles. Opulence on top of opulence on top of even more opulemce. Made me want to throw up. Often, maybe too often, we prize the place over the person. TOD HOWARD HAWKS
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May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 4:35 PM UTC
THE PLACES
She, betrayed, in histrionic flow, Heart akimbo, flailing at the sky, Fired with voyeuristic need-to-know, Rages at the outing of a lie. He, defensive, understanding, sure, Accommodates the outburst in his stride. Lassoes her with a practiced sinecure; Instinctive gesture, expertly applied. She, bewildered, aimless and morose – (He, distracted by the barmaid’s hips) – Casts aside the guilt-effacing rose; Repealed devotion scrawled upon her lips.
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Jan 16, 2013
Jan 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM UTC
Afterwords
it's a short dance between the night and, say the morning dreamy hope moon trance missing heartbeats scary haunting prowls distant shards of darkness and a soft release with a hint of silence. My drugged fantasy follows the rhyme masters: trans-Atlantic dwellers icy treasure keepers sights of sacred mountains and powerful embracing (never self-effacing) of half-life, half-death. My pen poised and struggles: such a crazy evening such seductive welcome sights perfectly imagined and accomplished howls of the gospel sayings. I'm a northern demon painting ashen skies as I watch vampires of dark past returning. Such a hard unlearning: memories are future souls burning that whisper to us through the ancient dust of painless forgetting freedom fragments chasing precious bonds of wisdom, perfect dreamy angels.
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Sep 17, 2013
Sep 17, 2013 at 11:17 AM UTC
Reading Poetry
Narcissus was hunted, His life abated through reflection ‘Till all that was left was his beauty Stained on the water’s surface, And his tale as a flare in the night For every proud soul. Thenceforth we shamed ourselves, For every fleeting glimpse at the face Which contains the twinned thoughts of our own. The mirror, now a symbol Of despicable self-assurance, Man’s vain invention. It is the microphone However; the tool that listens, Clamours attention to every word And breaks in vicious soundwaves, That’s the true measure of vanity, A catapulted voice. The mirror, used more so As a reflection of our self-doubt And all of the fear people can see. My self-effacing curses, My knowledge of singularity, And total lack of greed.
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Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 4:02 PM UTC
A Catapulted Voice
Why do you repel death As if you stepped on an uncouth reptile That stupified your mirth with a sting and stiffled your brearth with dark coils round your girth? The sibling death was with you ever since your birth As close and distanced  as the self-effacing unmouthed mammoth  earth. Throughout your path And  passage along childhood to Man or Motherhood You did not see the truth That death was with you ever since your Being to  becoming growth As a naive and native Star in the north. When you giggled and smiled in sleep-shell the death was smiling with you as well. When you dreamed and deemed yourself immortal The death was kind at your daring mettle. When you forgot to know the worth Of the Love Smith Who carved you as the crown of creation The death was with you, an emphatic narration, a gentle witness of your lavished wishes of yourself. Death was around you Embracing your kiths With valour indepth And a love of eternal strength! Still you strolled  uncontrolled to count your mortal home and hearth, Ephemeral wherewithal Death was ever loving And lent you a free living Even when you were  ailing. Still you failed in your mirth To listen and learn From  what its worth Still he is mute and modest as earth And a caring and guiding  north star. Then why do you loathe And  show dearth of love to the one who Loves all in equal strength And blanks out all balance sheets,   That credit and debit all accounts on earth To the remembrance bank of infinity without showing any disparity?
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Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 12:51 PM UTC
Why do you repel death?
Why do you repel death As if you stepped on an uncouth reptile That stupified your mirth with a sting and stiffled your brearth with dark coils round your girth? The sibling death was with you ever since your birth As close and distanced  as the self-effacing unmouthed mammoth  earth. Throughout your path And  passage along childhood to Man or Motherhood You did not see the truth That death was with you ever since your Being to  becoming growth As a naive and native Star in the north. When you giggled and smiled in sleep-shell the death was smiling with you as well. When you dreamed and deemed yourself immortal The death was kind at your daring mettle. When you forgot to know the worth Of the Love Smith Who carved you as the crown of creation The death was with you, an emphatic narration, a gentle witness of your lavished wishes of yourself. Death was around you Embracing your kiths With valour indepth And a love of eternal strength! Still you strolled  uncontrolled to count your mortal home and hearth, Ephemeral wherewithal Death was ever loving And lent you a free living Even when you were  ailing. Still you failed in your mirth To listen and learn From  what its worth Still he is mute and modest as earth And a caring and guiding  north star. Then why do you loathe And  show dearth of love to the one who Loves all in equal strength And blanks out all balance sheets,   That credit and debit all accounts on earth To the remembrance bank of infinity without showing any disparity?
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43
To yearn to be a writer is to capture those moments of infinite depth in which you find yourself lost inside of a chasm of glorious detail. When the thud of your heart matches the bleating of your throat as you inhale your first cigarette of the day and you check yourself to the rhythm of your footsteps, wary of the overseer of your self-effacing doubts. A writer has a depression. A depression to scale the peaks of dizzy happiness and endure the barren salt marshes of a harrowing self-loathing. This depression will hit a writer in waves and can experience both extremes in the time taken to try on a new shirt or to catch a glimpse of their reflection in a shop window.
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Aug 25, 2012
Aug 25, 2012 at 7:55 AM UTC
First Foray
You wear your presence lightly, you politely undermine it for the folks who'd find it fright'ning in the normal daily grind You are jocular and flighty wear a self-effacing grace although your shoulders might be mighty were they not so undermined We met at a rehearsal for an amateur dramatic act to shrink the universal to a comfortable size They took a work of genius the timeless peerless grandeur and they whittled it to meaninglessness - There I caught your eye. "I hear you need a drummer!" you intoned in toffee baritone and sad, diluted Shakespeare did evaporate tout suite "We're gigging in the summer!" I replied in my delight and then I knew I'd found a friend who might just help me keep the beat. I found you were an artist of broken, brittle beauty who believed an artists' duty was to challenge and defy Who had washed up in the genteel artists' village of Kircudbright where the art is safe and snooty, boats and trees and sunny sky But your canvas is elastic is electric and eclectic as you drastically cast an angry eye across it all Any prettiness is sitting on a nauseous unwellness where the skeleton of Elvis boogies by a butcher's stall Well we found some fellow feeling in our mutual defiance casting darts at art and science and amusing just ourselves Made some music, sank some bevvies wrote a book, got raging drunk but what we managed withered, shrunk by what we planned and simply shelved. Well it seems that I've been hoping that our business was unfinished that our plans were undiminished by the passing of the years That some catalyst would manifest and shake us into action dissipate the dull distraction of the daily hopes and fears. But it seems that you are leaving that your talent, brightly blazing and the fact that you're amazing has been missed by this wee town Well I undersand it, ****** but I'll miss you now, my brother and the tumbled jumbled colour that you spun from Solway brown.
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Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 9:45 AM UTC
Richard
You wear your presence lightly, you politely undermine it for the folks who'd find it fright'ning in the normal daily grind You are jocular and flighty wear a self-effacing grace although your shoulders might be mighty were they not so undermined We met at a rehearsal for an amateur dramatic act to shrink the universal to a comfortable size They took a work of genius the timeless peerless grandeur and they whittled it to meaninglessness - There I caught your eye. "I hear you need a drummer!" you intoned in toffee baritone and sad, diluted Shakespeare did evaporate tout suite "We're gigging in the summer!" I replied in my delight and then I knew I'd found a friend who might just help me keep the beat. I found you were an artist of broken, brittle beauty who believed an artists' duty was to challenge and defy Who had washed up in the genteel artists' village of Kircudbright where the art is safe and snooty, boats and trees and sunny sky But your canvas is elastic is electric and eclectic as you drastically cast an angry eye across it all Any prettiness is sitting on a nauseous unwellness where the skeleton of Elvis boogies by a butcher's stall Well we found some fellow feeling in our mutual defiance casting darts at art and science and amusing just ourselves Made some music, sank some bevvies wrote a book, got raging drunk but what we managed withered, shrunk by what we planned and simply shelved. Well it seems that I've been hoping that our business was unfinished that our plans were undiminished by the passing of the years That some catalyst would manifest and shake us into action dissipate the dull distraction of the daily hopes and fears. But it seems that you are leaving that your talent, brightly blazing and the fact that you're amazing has been missed by this wee town Well I undersand it, ****** but I'll miss you now, my brother and the tumbled jumbled colour that you spun from Solway brown.
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64
Realizing a fresh life growing inside, What thoughts coursed through my mother’s mind? Did she gleefully welcome the news? Or respond to it with a violent shock? So sure, right away after her fourth baby With four little kids still needing care Like chicks in a coop, carrying once again Might not have been in her scheme of things Thus at a time when she expected it the least, Could she beckon the new life growing inside, With a pleasant nod of head in assent Or with a suppressed moan of fright, I wonder! When from nausea she started to suffer And threw up each time when she ate Did she curse her man in silence? Or grow mad with her children and her fate? Slogging through those weary days With no respite from her routine chores Did she get enough rest or care? Or did she languish without a hand to assist? Seeing her with an extended waist line Did some nosy neighbors behind her back Teasingly utter in hushed whispers ‘Oh, she has done it again!’ Once when I started kicking inside Was she tickled or greatly annoyed? When she heard the first ‘lub- dub’ of my heart Did she feel as two hearts singing in harmony? As her tummy grew bigger everyday And sleepless in bed as she tossed Was she haunted by nightmares bleak? Or was she visited by dreams of delight? Travelling closer and closer to those final days Did she curse herself seeing her in the mirror Woefully bloated and ripened into a bulge Or did she wait my arrival in blissful expectation? Then suddenly one day when the earthquake began In mild tremors first, then gaining in force Did she scream mad or cry aloud? Or did she endure the pain in austere silence? Then abruptly when I showed myself up Did she feel any remorse over my *** And see me as another liability Added up to the girls already in line No, I am sure she must have cuddled me close And locked me in the warmth of her ***** For she was such a rare gift sent from heaven A mother nonpareil in self effacing love
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Mar 8, 2017
Mar 8, 2017 at 5:08 AM UTC
I Still Wonder
Realizing a fresh life growing inside, What thoughts coursed through my mother’s mind? Did she gleefully welcome the news? Or respond to it with a violent shock? So sure, right away after her fourth baby With four little kids still needing care Like chicks in a coop, carrying once again Might not have been in her scheme of things Thus at a time when she expected it the least, Could she beckon the new life growing inside, With a pleasant nod of head in assent Or with a suppressed moan of fright, I wonder! When from nausea she started to suffer And threw up each time when she ate Did she curse her man in silence? Or grow mad with her children and her fate? Slogging through those weary days With no respite from her routine chores Did she get enough rest or care? Or did she languish without a hand to assist? Seeing her with an extended waist line Did some nosy neighbors behind her back Teasingly utter in hushed whispers ‘Oh, she has done it again!’ Once when I started kicking inside Was she tickled or greatly annoyed? When she heard the first ‘lub- dub’ of my heart Did she feel as two hearts singing in harmony? As her tummy grew bigger everyday And sleepless in bed as she tossed Was she haunted by nightmares bleak? Or was she visited by dreams of delight? Travelling closer and closer to those final days Did she curse herself seeing her in the mirror Woefully bloated and ripened into a bulge Or did she wait my arrival in blissful expectation? Then suddenly one day when the earthquake began In mild tremors first, then gaining in force Did she scream mad or cry aloud? Or did she endure the pain in austere silence? Then abruptly when I showed myself up Did she feel any remorse over my *** And see me as another liability Added up to the girls already in line No, I am sure she must have cuddled me close And locked me in the warmth of her ***** For she was such a rare gift sent from heaven A mother nonpareil in self effacing love
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48
early morn (5:00am) scanning, scrolling, unrehearsed searching and the question appears in a “loves that got away” column, *(why do all these descriptors start eith S, I think I know!)* and off on another self-effacing, investigative determination, a mental biopsy of another hopeless cause, that results in poems too long though the body and mind are rested, with six hours of uninterrupted sleep, and volumes of dreams, the quest bags a burr in the bed, (yes, rhymes with head) but n o t h i n g pops in with a grin, and a bell ring, stating presumptuously, why that’s me and the fault failure fear in me engorges this  really distresses, with & in a deep sense of awful, how can I not recall this momentous illustrative precious precision proof of why life is worth living, and worser still, don’t I get to choose, isn't this an interrogatory, suitable for a pre-provided Multiple Choice Answer? a pause to collect myself from a falling into a hole of nefarious negativity spiraling, *suddenly recalling so many kind and gentle touching brushes of your comments re my poetry, which provoked warm tears* ^***and one more tine, poetry has saved a life***^ 5:37am Saturday 2-15-25
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Feb 15, 2025
Feb 15, 2025 at 5:47 AM UTC
What’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said to you?