It dosnt matter really what the weather dose,
Dosnt matter what's in the way,
Who or what stands in front of me it dosnt matter,
Becuase if you call I will come
For you,
Always,

So come rain or shine,
I'll be there,
To hold your hand,
To hold you when your sad,
To wipe away yours tears,

It dosnt matter the distance,
The problems or the past,
When you call,
I'll be there at your side,
Come rain or shine.

All you have to do is call.
And I'll be there.

I worry all the time,
Not for what I've done or did or even may of done,
But for the people I care about,
When someone says don't worry Lu,
I worry even more,

It's like it's an in built programme that dosnt turn off or down it's set on constant,

And really for me if I worry about you,
It means I care,
It may be annoying but hell,
It's better than me
Not Being,
There.

Ode to food . 

Barbecue Ribs ; 
I Swear If Youu Were a person  youu'd Have a Crown . 
You'd Be The Queen of your town . 
Youu make Other Foods Envy Youu Because of your delicious Barbeque  Sauce And Your Juicy Meat . 
Youu got fans because Your who their mouth wants to meet . 


Ice cream ; 
Your cold , 
But you never get old . 
Everyone Loves Youu ,Your Like Your Heaven sent .
Everyone Loves you Exept For the lactose - intolerant .   
You come in different flavors , 
Your served in different Dishes , 
You have different Toppings , 
The one thing people Is Scared To do to youu is dropping . 
Youu melt down people's Throat , 
Filling them with joy . 
Youu make babys Wanna leave their favorite toy . 

Chips ; 
Crunchy , 
Munchy . 
Who Dosnt Eat Youu ? 
Like , I mean everyone Likes you new . 
Your so fly . 
Not literaly Fly . 
Thats Apparently a lie , 
Its Obvious  you cant fly . 
Your different . 
Youu Come differently .. 
Your so good they clone youu Continuesly . 


Chicken ; 
Youu had to die 
To Satisfy . 
Youu do Good to my stomach , 
Make Me Feel good . 
Your so good . 
Youu Can even be barbequed , 
Your so good i wanna play a harp for youu .
You Can Be Boiled Too . 
But I Dont Like you like that , Eww .


Candy ; 
Your so dandy . 
You Come In Different Varieties . 
Skittles , M&MS; Even Jelly beans . 
Who dont love youu , i mean Youu That Babie . 
Everyone love youu Exept People with Diabetes . 

This Is My Ode Too Food . 
Food That Taste M-m-m Good .

People tell me to calm down,
Calm down getting angry won't help,
Calm down the tears arnt gonna bring her back,
Calm down getting frustrated won't get it done,

What if I don't want to calm down,
What if I want to let go of calm,
See where it takes me,
Calm calm down for what,
For pain,
Loss,
Sadness,
Calm down for what,

It's like everyone says calm down,
Like it's magic and will make it all better,
When I calm down it dosnt make it better,
It makes it worse makes me think of all the things,
That I did wrong,
Of all the bad memories,
Of all the bad times,

What if letting to of calm,
Means I can be free,
Free to live life like I should,

Because to me to stay calm,
Is to put your self in prison,
A prison made by everyone else,

Staying calm is not what it seems.

We all go through little lies and false ideas throughout the day. Is it wrong? I pretend like the best of them. **** I could be an actor like no other. Not only to hide feelings and emotions from anyone, but to even lie to myself that im doing a good thing by justifying my actions. I act big and tough truth is I hate fighting, only been in a handfull and lucky my anger did most of the work. Im a coward, I fear **** near every little thing including the dark...
*** is something im good at but I have to actually get into character to last longer, to fake love, or even that she is good enough to make me ***. I say im a real man, but a real man dosnt need a plethora of women to make himself a man. A man only needs one woman to take care of, sacrifice after sacrifice. Anything she needs your there at a moment notice. No texting behind her back to flirt with a girl. No saying your at the bar or a buddy house when your actually knee deep in some strange... iv been there to all those places. I even lie about being ok to be alone. Not suicidal or anything, but with boredom comes thoughts of sadness. Im a pretender through and through.

Why is revenge so sweet to people?
Revenge of family,friend
does not bring them back to life
Think about it
Hating on killers does not bring to life
Killing of revenge does not either
Satisfaction on the killers dosnt either
Justice of their crimes,just dosent let
them die in vain.
If I had that pain
sometime's the best thing to do
is to do nothing
People let their emotions overrun themselves
Instead of thinking rationally
There's one difference of pain
pain,lost,anger,hatred
what's the award for revenge?
killing them is not going leave
your heart in peace
If you don't have piece in your heart
your never going to be happy

It's unfair
to me and to you
to everyone that has cared and was unaware
and to who had a dare
to loved me more
more then just a freind
I understand its unjust
but as you lean in close
my heart doesnt reach out
it dosnt speed up
when you hold me close
and so I flee
when you call me dear
understanding I beg you be
I'm still waiting to like you
as you start to love me
I'm sorry my heart doesn't beat
it never has and I fear it never will
The butterflys in my stomach
must be in their cocoons
my lungs must be in good condition
for I never have trouble breathing
and my heart must be dead
because I never feel it beating

night falls
but i dont
all night awak
with nothing to do
with nothing dut thoughts
sun rises up
i look out
my mind is crazy
so am i said
my own counsious
breaking
sleep
going slowly insaine
scared ashamed of what a perfect mistake
being what you were made
finding out what you are
seeing the freak in your own eyes
society screws and kills
my eyes are blood shot
more less sleep makes me want to scream but i need to know my store
scares fill my face making you look like a train wreck that cause the scares

who are u do i know you
are you the threat of me
shouldi just keep going crazy
no answeres have been made
your all alon in the big wide world
normal people scare me when i freak out when they come near me

no sleep turning me in to a scary monster at 3:00 am just like when u see ascary monster i am the scary monster

poepl look at me i might be kinda paranoid since every ones silence
i dont know who i am expent my every mistake.
i splacsh water in my face
but that dosnt change a thing
this wold has no boundryies
i see the reflection of my self in ther meior
i puch the mior shattering glass in my fist
anger grows deep
when society is just a mistake you make

i go insaine do i follow or decay

Hands...soft caress on your breast...
Lips... ever so gently. .touching
your very soul even.
Eyes.. blazing with the passion of it all..
Skin.. on fire , ever so sensitive
Sweat..falls from his face, dosnt bother you..
Hair.. pushed from his face
but still falls over one eye..
    Those eyes..
You quiver from within...
Steam.. you laugh in adolescent joy at the windows steamed up..
and what the cows saw...

when you love someone and not loved in return it hurts
but the worst that happens to someone is to love and not have the courage to let him or her know how you feel
sometime you meet few wrong people before you finally meet the right one
and when we finally meet the right person we dont take them for granted cos we are meant to be together
even when you are not in relationship with the person you love yet you found out you still care about him or her thats true love
sometimes we meet someone is meant a lot to us and finds out we are never meant to be together
sometime we kept our eyes on the closed door and we never have the sight to see the one which have been open for us
it is true we dont know what we have until we loose it
and also we dont know what have been missing
dont ever expect love in return
cos giving your love to someone dose not mean that person will give you back
allow the love to grow in there hearts but if it dosnt be contempted it grows in yours
never say goodbye if you still love that person
never say u dont love anymore if you cant let go
love is still there for those qho still hope
for those who have been disappointed
for those who still believe
for those who have been betrayed and
for those who still need to love

i crush up the pills
place them in 2 nice little white lines
darling im sorry
i promise this is the last time.
my face is burning
i feel so alive
i love you
but im feeding you lies.
for try as i might
and try as i will
my love for you
dosnt comapre to the love i receive from the pills
so ill leave the warmth of your arms
to the comfort of my drug enduced bliss
replace your lips
with a empty kiss
and ill forget everything we had
pretend we never were
i told you to begin with
i am far from anyones dream girl
for my grasp on reality is deluded
tainted by self enduced hate
please dont think its your fault
this is just my fate.
and ill leave you a letter
apolgising for all the lies
then give into my obbession
pill bottles at side
and an array of colors is all ill see
as i swallow them all
i create my destiny.

Have you ever been so alive , have you ever felt so real?                                    As to the reason your here , ive been meaning to tell you  , sincear                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I had a late night talk with the stars about my departure, my truth is infinitely breathing you wont need me to see me , You wont hear me but you will feel me. Drinking late night has not been too hazordus i didnt pass out and i still have half a bottle, I feel complete light seeing your faces , always so happy and forever caring , you guys are who make me.  Ancient feelings we all are sharing is like slow candel wood burning  , We who suffer is we who rejoice , we who suffer are those will stand forth                                                                                                               I realize there so many of you who i can completeley  tell everything too, the stars tell me how infinite it is to be me and you ,   I feel like this is a big thank you ,  melting away in your attraction , i feel tonight , the stars are clear and right now seem to be here  ,Where i am is who i am and what i am is light.   You my dear are so crystal clear ,you my dear will always be here,                                                                                                                                                                               The date is december 2 after that it would only take a second ,                         My soul would never let me rest , there is this pain in my chest teeling me to fly west .Thinking of all of you who stand here, the word love dosnt come near, trying my best to explain a feeling of complete craze   , seeing you again. Feeling you again, Being you again.                                                                              But when you realize the bright moon is who we are , there wont need to be me to feel like that or near.       It is that beautiful sunset telling you  i will be hereforever.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Btw: i cant spell for ****, and im quite intoxicated,

the thought of you dosnt always feel like my chest is breaking open
just like the morning after a night of vices
I smoke a cigarette and say im better than I was yesterday
and you're still a sepulcher of all things Ive learned to hate in a human

Push it down,
       Always push it down
                          Never show her
Never show her your feelings again

                                         Keep pushing
                           Deep down
Till you can't feel it  
  But you will
         Like a pebble in your shoe.
              It dosnt hurt, just an annoying pain
      Till you do something with it

Never.
Keep it pushed down, no matter what.
Never show your feelings,

Your pain
                Your stress
                                   Your tears

Dont mistake my kindness for flirting

When you wanna show me a cool game or book that means I didnt agree to see your *****.

When we have something in common that dosnt mean I want your hands around my neck.

When I say goodbye with a hug your hands shouldn't be at my ***

when I pull away it dosnt mean I want a kiss.

sometimes in life theres ups and downs,
i have had my downs,
like rain falling out of the sky,
the water falling over the cliff,
no end to the drop just the falling,
till one day i hit the fall,
i lost control in a way,
that made me lose everything,
i saw the blood flow,
and didnt stem it,
it was a beautiful master peice,
a perfect picture,
theres noting like watching your life drain away.

the only reason im still here is because of my family,
my friend she knows who she is,
my gf although sometimes (most) she dosnt seem to care,

some days i wish i wasnt here,
that i didnt have to live,
that i could watch my life flow away again.

Little white and round tablets
20 of them lay in my hand

Marked with little numbers
But what ever they say
I put them all in my mouth

The pain and hurt slowly fades aways
As my heart beat slowly goes away
But I don't feel anything I don't feel any pain all I feel are my eyes closing slowly

I wake up in a dark room with a little window and I hear the sound of someone screaming and yelling my name

I look through the little window to see my mom laying over my life less body pulling my body towards her

Blaming everything on her. She pushed me to far
yelled
At me to much

But what she dosnt know is that it wasn't her fault it was the little white pills that put me asleep

My shadow only wanna hide beside me,
all things going so wilde,
black shadow in the front of a ray of light,
seems to b no more visible in the existance survival fight,
it feels like that m so numb,
that i cant cry or smile and peoples start saying that m a dumb,
but i m not i cry but no 1 bothers that m crying and m i feel so alone,
they just ignore me and wore me a thrown,
and made me the king of lonelyness and try to supress,
the things i guess,
that these r hurting me too much,
and destroying the best part of myself and if i wannna clutch,
the part it goes more apart,
from my reach,
& as usual the peoples who see me try to teach,
there own non-sense lessons,
if dont wanna get those they felt m in the list foolish of foolish persons,
they putted itno who dosnt make a agree on there stupid speeches,
it's still going darker here and echoes but not reaches,