"doctorates" poems
The ranch-bound bovines, in dehydration,
yet wary of Kool-aid, declined to drink.
They grazed in wonder, cowed rumination:
where does “beef” come from? A herd tends to think
of pasturage, water, and basic needs.
Ranch-hands assured them all was in order;
privileged guests enjoy the finest feeds.
Cows, content on this side of the border
try Buddhism, yoga – or simply gaze…
though things in the distance loomed ominous
(those lots at the edge of the well-hoofed ways)
– and a stench wafted into their consciousness.
Yet calves frolicked on while the bulls mounted heifers –
dreamed vegan dreams as they nibbled grasses
some earned doctorates, others went clubbing;
all loosed sustainable methane gases.
Soothing their calves with fables and stories
where cows are the measure of pastured life
they deflected the gist of the young ones’ queries,
affirming that Truth means avoidance of strife.
“It’s best to just graze. Don’t ask questions dear.
We’re on this planet without any clue.
We evolved. From just what is a little unclear –
but Cow Science has proved that it’s true.”
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
Diastolic memory fills mind with blood
Heart purges other unforgettable serum
Gushing in and out; valediction, invasion
Scent left on bed sheets binomial theorem
Calculus, physics computing mnemonics us
Trust not sum of it, exponents baying flux
Participles and components abject humbling
Stumbling bio discourse create sedentary crux
Stupefying brain surgeons, those of heart too
Call in mathematicians, astronomers as well
No making sense of it, linguistic doctorates few
To tell of this push-pull sensory denoting hell
Not much time to live after lungs dispensed
Entrenched questions remain to be adoring
Extravagantly historians exploring
Unanswerable examining of this imploring
Must breathe the linens till all dissipation
Your essence in the ether of our resting
Place turned into mad languid laboratory
Conjuring back moments I am requesting
Sep 11, 2016
Sep 11, 2016 at 9:30 AM UTC
At 15 she had her goals in her mind
To get her high school degree,
then her bachelor's
and then her master's
and maybe even her doctorates
She wanted to own house with a nice back yard
Despite the house crisis
She wanted to adopt she knew she was planning far ahead but didn't mind
At 18 she got her first degree
Then her second, third and fourth
She worked her *** off having ups and downs
Her world ending then starting again
She finally got a house at 27
And at 30 she adopted a 13 year old boy
She fell in love with him immediately of course
And did her best to give him the world
And in his senior year of highschool she gets him a car
She wished she hadn't
He got into a crash a few months later
He never recovered
Her world ended at 35
And it didn't pick back up again
Feb 1, 2024
Feb 1, 2024 at 11:11 AM UTC
I keep waking up to sunsets
Affinity for the moon I suppose.
the fireflies, cold air.
I've felt happier at night my whole life
Sitting in elementery school
popcorn reading
Headphones plugged into a PSP
Blaring mindless self iindulgence
Putting me to sleep through the day
So I could level up my nightelf hunter in World of Warcraft until 5am
And sleep through social anxiety.
For awhile I woke up at 4am to serve you coffee.
Seven years addicted
I loved that too.
Traded coca-cola for drinking it black
My coffees color is the smog in Chicago
This nightlife is my real addiction.
That's why I love the graveyard shift.
Devouring untold stories
assisted living facilities.
This Goldmine of consentrated Wisdom
Parkinsons Orchestra Doctorates.
Politicians prepared for Death
Rabbis still flirting with nurses
remembering the whole torah service by heart
forgetting their wives name.
For my sunset
I like to imagine a big desk
A wall of glass
The top of a grey tower.
I want to Birth a skyscraper.
I want to stand staring out my wall of window back turned to my coffee cup
watch how beautiful stasis can be when you shatter through it.
I like to pretend each sunset
Is a death that wasn't mine.
I like to count the deaths in assisted living
As sunsets.
I like to read obituaries like sunsets.
I keep waking up
To sunsets
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 9:54 AM UTC
Past
A girl with many secrets heads to school with her nose in a book.
The girl develops a reputation as dangerous and solitude.
The girl falls in love, only to be left with a gold ring of heartbreak.
The girl packs up her life and her son to leave for a new life.
The girl enrolls in college.
Present
The writer and future psychologist sits at her desk fumbling over the words in her novel.
The writer takes her son to school with a kiss as he goes.
The psychologist lights up a delightfully dangerous Camel Light after a family gathering.
The direct support professional leaves the house smelling of various creams, wet from the shower and a smile of satisfaction.
The woman looks upon the emerald on her finger and wishes for simple happiness
Future Hopes
A full list of clients with a Doctorates Degree on the office wall.
A small article in the paper proclaiming a best seller.
A family picture on the wall with a smile on our faces.
Future Fears
The woman in deep depression with her families words pinning her down.
Staring through a glass wall at a boy with visitation hours.
Slowly forgetting the life she’s lead and where she lives.
Sitting in a wheelchair staring at an ankle mutilated with disease.
May 9, 2012
May 9, 2012 at 4:34 PM UTC
At times when I grow lonely
I read the messages you've sent
It's been a month
Since I've spilled my heart to you
You found some piece of me
A bit of reality I had lost
Sang melodies through the phone
And now silence rings
Trial and failure to clear my mind
Every thought leads to another
Then the others lead to you
Eventually I'll find peace
Peace a thousand miles from you
Only able to touch you through maps
Unable to touch you through words
Alcohol and doctorates now consume your time
Sep 11, 2017
Sep 11, 2017 at 4:45 AM UTC
I can't be what I want to be
Cause to fail is easier
Then to fail to succeed
My generation is a new breed
Ready for a revaluation
But tripping over our own two feet
PTSD, ADD, ADHD
VHS , DVD, MP3
I'm sick of these mental anomalies
Drug dealers with doctorates
Pushing band aids
For a brain aneurism
That may not even occurred yet
But your diagnosis
Is their proctosis
To line their pockets
With decaying presidents
So they don't feel a need
To take that SSRI
that to you they so desperately feed
Welcome to America
Home of the crave
And land of the greed
Hope you have enough stolen
Souls in your pocket
So that you may succeed
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 2:27 PM UTC
Affinity for the moon I suppose.
the fireflies
cold air.
I've felt happier at night my whole life
Sitting in elementery popcorn reading
Headphones plugged into a PSP
Blaring mindless self iindulgence
Putting me to sleep
So I could level up my nightelf hunter in World of Warcraft
watch Naruto until 5am
And sleep through social anxiety.
For awhile I woke up at 4am to serve you coffee.
Seven years addicted
I loved that too.
Traded coca cola for bkack coffee
And an eating disorder
Now Im a graveyard shift worker.
Manjc smirking at untold stories in assisted living
Goldmine of consentrated Wisdom
Parkinsons orchestra Doctorates
Politicians preparing for death
Rabbis still flirting with nurses and remembering the whoke torah service by heart
When they cant remember their wives name.
Wives of Men that played god until they met him.
Breifly
Before the trap door unlatched
For my death.
I like to imagine a big desk
A wall of glass
The top of a grey tower.
I want to Birth a skyscraper.
I want to stand staring out my wall of window back turned to my desk.
And
watch how beautiful stasis can be
As the trap door caves beneath me for my sins.
I want to leave someone behind to tell my story.
My journal is someone.
I'm a night owl
I am alive most when the world is either sinning or silent
And I refuse to die quietly.
Or before I get my Desk.
Or my window.
To watch the sun rise and fall
But never stay.
I am not meant to watch things last forever.
I am a night owl.
I enjoy this world for all the endings.
This is my favorite part.
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 12:51 AM UTC
*Time is relative.
It can yell. It can scream.
But it can't run backwards.*
It takes 8 minutes for the light from the sun to reach the earth,
And hundreds of thousands of this exact timeframe
for the sun's inexistent sound to permeate in permanence.
A solar explosion would annihilate the human force.
Everything we know would sublimate into a vacuumed space.
All knowledge of everything,
Vanished in a fiery apocalypse.
Death would arrive before it even happens.
So what is the purpose of life if death could already be here,
Eight minutes from this moment?
The time it takes to boil noodles,
Take a shower,
Eat a bowl of cereal,
Could be the last spoken,
Thought,
Performed part of everything.
How should I believe time is real,
Death is cheated,
God is listening,
When this minute could be my eighth?
I swing my chainless pocket watch and count each of my five hundred seconds.
And wonder if it would be simpler to exist where time doesn't.
But each child climbs higher on the playground's jungle gym,
Reaching for doctorates and dissertations,
Their watches not as precisely examined as my own.
No worry of things that are all too possible
In just a matter of time-
School shootings,
Asteroid strikes,
Uncontrollable plagues-
While my watch counts nanoseconds as it falls onto Earth's surface,
Their watches spin rampantly,
Drilling into their sandboxes.
I see this,
The same age I was years before,
And these children melt into wheel chairs and death beds alike,
Their children mourning their passing,
While their children's children,
Crippled with tears,
Hold the hands of their parents in desperation
for an agony so ripping.
And all the while I see the sun exhale its time.
The trees ignite,
the sidewalks smelt with the burning grass and buildings.
And just as I peer into the beyond,
My rusting pocket watch clinks with the sanded surface of this childhood play box.
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 12:20 PM UTC
Do you know the importance of teachers
That question is a lesson in itself
How do you learn to achieve wealth
Receive a doctorates or even a black belt
There’s a great teacher around
Great with a ball or maybe a wrench
There’s a great teacher around
Preparing great meals or building a fence
Like super heroes from distant planets
That come and save the day
Our heroes from the world of academia
Come and lead the way
Just for what you stand for alone
You should be forever bestowed in favor
Facing the most daunting task of taming & guiding the beast called human nature
Ode to those undervalued teachers
Who make education allure & dapple
You are revered by me and many others
With much love and many apples
Apr 20, 2020
Apr 20, 2020 at 3:56 AM UTC
I am inspired to do the best I can,
and change the morality of who I am.
Keep pushing on, I must meet all of my goals.
Find a better job,
and not make any foes.
I want to get a doctorates, I suppose.
Love everyone, in everything that I do.
For I must do everything, out of love for you.
Such is a motto I hold dear to my heart.
Love is essential, in every part.
I want to succeed not just in life, but in love.
Do more than I have achieved before,
from the outside to my core.
Be the better me,
and fight against tyranny.
Of our government and of ourselves.
Stand up for whats right,
stand up for myself.
Its time to put a new book on this shelf.
Fixing what I dont like,
starting over new,
now see why I do what I do?
You are my muse,
and its all because of you.
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 14, 2016 at 11:56 PM UTC
It's always been there,
that empty space at the back of the mind
and
always the last place you look in, but
you know that's where you'll find
what you're looking for, what
we're all looking for.
Reaching critical mass
before the bomb blows and
as you exit or pass or shuffle off or
pop your clogs,
wake those sleeping dogs because
you know they never lied to you, you
know they did what they were told to do
and you
in the empty place now, space looking in and your
face looking out still looking and knowing it's there.
But what do we care?
we've got
Doctorates online for an acceptable fee
corporations without corporate responsibility
suicide, that's always free,
genetically modified opium-free tea
I want some
for you, but I
want more for me.
I know we care out there somewhere
I feel it in my bones
I see it in the funeral homes.
Too little?
To hate is but an alternative state and
to love is a state that's within.
Without any doubt when you're dead
it's a state to be in,
a state without borders
a state without hate,
in the empty space
I
think there's a place
like that
too.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 9:56 AM UTC
Maybe when I'm dead is when I'll be discovered
"Miss Walts of the technical age"
Someone will find my art and say "wow she really got it she really had it you know she was brilliant, a genius, truly great"
The best version of myself will then be shown
The romantized self analyzed by doctorates and lab coats
They'll all wonder what I really mean
And I'll be gone
Gone so they can't ask me
They'll mold me into a piece they really want
After death I'll return as a pawn
Crooning the voice of the people of our age
We all scream
"I'm not good enough
And because of this I cannot do a thing!
I can only make art from depressive relief.
Society is telling me everything to believe.
I can't think for myself for the life of me do not ask me a question because I never think!"
A self medicated self asbsorbed zombie
"No one has it worse than me."
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 11:38 AM UTC
The slaves
The powers that be
They were angered
Angered by this man of Tao
Angered he wasn't sacrificing himself
Like they did
For their "almighty dollar"
Angered at his sense of humor
His calmness
And his emptiness
Oh how it bothered them
So they set out
To whisper in front of him
To mock his name
And what he stood for
It pleased them
Because they could never be
Like him
Every time
He watched
Below them
Humble
Yet seated high above
Their program
Not participating
Not trying or
And what have the doctorates learned
Their huge papers
Their pride
And arrogance
I've learned from them
How foolish
And prideful
Human beings can be
Degrade me
Debase me
Call me stupid
Or ignorant
All your intelligence
And all your pride
And all your wisdom
Won't save you
From a certain death
And when the system collapses
It won't matter
How much money you have
A doctorate starves to death
Just like a homeless ***
And any food I have
I won't give to you
I'll watch as you starve
All your wisdom
And arrogance
You thought you were so
Much better
Because you had more book knowledge
There are people smarter than you
People smarter than me
So what
So what
I have no sympathy
For you
When you starve to death
When terrible times come
Feb 12, 2016
Feb 12, 2016 at 8:41 PM UTC
I think the reason I'm so depressed is because i'm always unfulfilled
I live my life day to day
I crave knowledge and passion
but finding it is hard
when I know the only things that would ever hold my interest long enough for a satisfying career need doctorates
and I'm too lazy and unmotivated to go to classes every day to be told things I already know
to go into debt for knowledge I obtained years ago
There's no easy way to get into infectious or rare genetic diseases
no easy way to become an exotics vet
I wish I could skip the basics
The day to day is taxing
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018 at 11:19 PM UTC