"decoder" poems
even teddy said i got the sickest tricks brah.
like my abilities source from some kinda legendary liquid
/ praise the lord /
monster energy should sponsor me.
a kickflip over the king’s *** hole
& a halfcab for the looky-loos.
i feel so tall when i climb that heap of asphalt trimmings
& see clear from the water tower to the bluffs.
gimme a good day, any day at the bluffs,
bottlerockets & girly birds.
her body brings a swarm of worms.
decomp,
said the f.b.i. men one by one with tweezers.
not quite the homecoming queen, still
wrapped in plastic.
look up.
see that great mess of wires, nest of powerlines and owl bones?
it crackles and croons its electro-spectral purr
all night and day.
new neck tat &
cody spends his paycheck on a crossbow.
we target practice on a bull skull.
wet cigarettes and turpentine-soaked socks for a good huff
in the dry of the roofline as it dumps.
there’s that little boy in a ghost mask again, tap-dancing
in puddles below the streetlamp,
& oversized shoes.
his grandmoms always be watchin’ from the window.
[whispers] she’s teaching him magic.
lucky unit 19: where our young dead damsel once dolled
herself up, you see
men and headlights would roll thru thrice nightly,
maybe more.
& i remember her punch red lips &
big whicker hat; while she weeded and watered her garden of begonias.
the sheriff’s deputy, hart? hicks? hogan? well he loved her a bunch.
stole her clothes in the middle of the night,
& sat beside the river sobbing into clumped fists
of bra and blouse.
i bought ******* from that guy once or twice.
harold? howard?
guess who showed his face today?
josiah, from unit 08.
since the incident with molly’s beagle, he’s been rarely seen.
took a bee line straight for the mailbox.
a package. a prize. a decoder ring/secret map sweepstakes
to be seen and deciphered.
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 1:44 AM UTC
Adulthood's hour has come to call
Childhood's time has lost its thrall
The clock chimes now, a tolling bell
Marking the passing with every knell
No more games, no time to play
For fragile youth's long gone astray
No hobby horses or decoder rings
The time has passed for simpler things
Leave your toys to gather dust
Leave the playground alone to rust
Be one of us, the time is nigh
So hurry now, and say goodbye
To innocence and naïveté
Leave your hope out in the street
Put away your childish things
Here we have no use for dreams
Imagination's a liability
That clings with fervent tenacity
Put it away with your childish things
Here we have no use for dreams,
Here we have no use for dreams.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 1:31 AM UTC
I'm not the only me I see when I see me looking back at me
Bewildered by the impossibility of a blind visionary with the foresight to look past me to find me
I got caught staring so intently I lost sight of the true me completely
You see such savagery and think it must have been nurtured from infancy
While true, I had it in check, hidden away in the captivity of a long forgotten memory
But it still remembered me, waited patiently, predicting my return with a whimsical accuracy
It heard me frantically trying to find the glass to break in case of emergency
Not to set it free but to once again embrace what was scary, what might be the reality of the actual me
Instantly I handed over the key, didn't even keep a copy for me
Knowing exactly what I was doing and what it'd do to me mentally
It was always going to happen this way eventually
Finding solace in it's monotony, no more uncertainty
Both wake up and go to bed with the same angry energy
Done with the pleasantry and all the pageantry projected outwardly to seem more neighborly
Just so the world could be more comfortable with me when I pass through their snooty, gated community
While it pays no mind to what's being done to my psyche
This self destructive entity wasn't only the part of my reality I was told to bury
It is the entirety of my history, sad and happy, comedy and tragedy
I was it and it was me, the merger went so smoothly I believed it was absolutely meant to be, probably
Fighting myself got messy and wasn't necessarily a necessity
In the end there was no surprise who's hand was raised in victory
I already knew the part of me that held superiority but everyone else said it'd turn out differently
Like they got some kind of decoder key
Of course it didn't and they don't, thankfully I was welcomed back too once again become my own worst enemy
It ain't good company but I personally accept that personality and it's starting to warm up to me finally
It's been a strange journey, be thankful I didn't ask you to join me
©2023
Nov 1, 2023
Nov 1, 2023 at 12:22 AM UTC
For the woman who knows me more than anyone
The decoder of my unpredictable personality
The person who can give me my needs even before I ask
I never heard you tell me that you love me
But I'm sure that you do
It was obvious in the way you care for our family
We have been through a lot
And that really means a lot
Sorry if my way of loving you sometimes displeases you
In all my pursuits I made countless mistakes
You seem disappointed
The truth is you just want me to be somebody
Somebody that can get the best out of life
Don't worry Mommy loving you is
Experiencing the best this life can give
You are the channel of God's unconditional love
Yes you're not perfect so am I
But your motherly love is the one that connects us
Accepting your dear son not just a part but a whole
Not just the good but even the worst
Yes, I'm a Mama's Boy and so be it!
May 27, 2017
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Mar 30, 2017
Mar 30, 2017 at 10:19 PM UTC
I want to go back
To Crackerjacks
And KoolAid on ice.
Ice cream sandwiches
And Chick O Stick candy.
That would be so nice.
Double feature matinees
At the local movie show
With cartoons in between.
Car crashes and then the
Cliff hanger serials
Were the best we’d ever seen.
Things like snow days, and
Skinny dipping swimming holes
Great on hot summer days.
And matchbook motors
On the spokes of our bikes
After school every day.
Snow cones and soda pop
Then we turned in the bottles
For two pennies to by sweets.
Snowball forts in the winter time
That were serious business
On every neighborhood street.
Things were so simple then
We each had a list of what
We wanted Santa to bring.
Some wanted ritzy stuff
And others only wanted
A **** Tracy decoder ring.
Life was almost all about
Going to school and then
Waiting for classes to let out.
And though there are joys
For grown girls and boys
It felt good to run and shout!
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 5:26 PM UTC
it'll get bad reviews, we should scrap the project before it breaks the budget
we sit and talk
art and beauty, love and fear
my heart cracking open,
and you, rushing in.
we sit and talk,
play at the deadly game
ignore the consequences
shun the inconsistencies.
the words, words, words
they swirl,
and we slip, we slip, we slip
--its a real cliffhanger
hearts on sleeves
music weaves
stories come to light
secrets, oozing out between
the well crafted lines of
our carefully scripted plot
we sit and talk circles around
the herds of white elephants
that come to watch the show.
mocking us, they laugh
as we tiptoe through
fields of daffodils
under dark skies
with rainbows.
(scene change now)
in dark of night
i squeeze out hope
from my heart.
god ****** hope
twists up and knifes
me in the side, leaves
me bleeding on the floor.
and you, fool you are
rush to my aid.
if you're saving me,
who's saving you?
you with your secret
decoder ring from your
box of caramel corn.
cracking my heart,
you peel my layers.
your questions run deep
but your feet will run faster,
and i'll fall, i'll fall, i'll fall.
gravity's a real drag,
i've felt it's pull before.
me with my third eye
see the pan and play.
this show will end
leaving us all sitting
in our seats wanting
another thirty minutes,
a tidier ending.
this ain't Disney.
we'll feel like we've been
ripped, ripped, ripped
no refunds here,
go file your complaint
with the man upstairs.
the audience stands,
turns to go.
white elephants know there's
no silver lining, no *** of gold.
they threw popcorn at the screen
but you didn't notice.
i always hated white elephants;
i thought you did too.
who invited them to the show?
we step outside,
no curtain call,
no applause
this hail falls down
on a sunny blue day.
afraid to touch you, but
i want to catch you in my mouth.
would you please
just go away
before i end up with lumps
on my head, in my throat?
my eyes blinded by the sun,
the hail, this ill fated show
--bruised orange
Oct 3, 2011
Oct 3, 2011 at 1:37 AM UTC
"Your heart is a place that hides how you feel
But it can be hard to express how you feel
Your mind can erase what your heart feels
I jus want love from you
All I want is for somebody to walk up behind me
I want somebody to walk up behind me
And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck "
I want you to trust me w/ ur heart
Not only love me physically mentally and spiritually
Love me from behind so hard it's imprinted in the forefront of my mind
You say you got love for me but I wanna feel it...hear it...be it
Encompassed in a warp of me and you
Grant me the opportunity to pay off the debt I feel I owe you
See I mindlessly pay to stare at you
Even when I'm not around you I stare at the memories I have of you
No decoder to this mental vault
I know the code
Common realities of time spent w/ you
Moving towards life long memories
I want you to trust me w/ your heart
Hold it in my hands....gently caress it
No cutting it with an eyetooth
Standing in a booth pronouncing "Hey you...Im in love w/ you!"
Hopefully one day I'll be able to say it
But it gets caught in the back of my tongue as the words form cuz I don't wanna be rejected...
Reflected off a thought of the worst
Cuz I jus don't understand why you won't tell me how you feel
I mean s**t jus say it cuz these thoughts I have are beating so hard on my brain like a bass drum
Giving lyrics like...
"I want somebody to walk up behind me and kiss me in my neck and breath on my neck"
Giving lyrics as long as a niggas' rap sheet
Oh and it's explicit up here so please don't let your children in
I just want to walk freely along a market and pick up your emotions
Read the nutritional content
I just want to go on a shopping spree with your being
Everything is up for grabs cuz you trust me
So jus endow my eardrums w/ what I know is there
Help me understand
Help my comprehension cuz I'm starting to get apprehensive
Sensitive about my ish...
All I want is for you to trust me w/ your heart
Don't be afraid to be loved cuz that's all I wanna do
You are my friend... my confidant
Closing the door to your past seems to be your problem when all I wanna do is close it and open up a new one
I know it's hard cuz it's hard for me too
But it's harder for me to continue like this
Hey I must be a *********
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 10:53 PM UTC
at birth, they tried to swap the stars in my eyes for dollar signs-
but the operation didn't take.
so for years, i felt oddly compelled to fake it
until i finally couldn't take it any longer.
keep all your shiny, broken things...
i just want the trees.
and a breeze,
and the pebbles,
and the rain.
i'll stick around to love all of the beauty you've forsaken.
i just want the things that no one can keep.
an intellectual alien,
trapped in a generation bringing nothing
but plastic beads and decoder rings to the table.
faint, fickle beings,
painting their faces
so that they can all look just the same.
sometimes it's a blessing to feel out of place.
so, i'll wisely spend my time stuck under a bad sign,
and continue building things that can't be touched,
and treasuring things that can't be held-
just felt.
i wanna feel it all.
i want to fall madly in love,
make masterpieces of my memories,
and hopefully,
turn other peoples memories of me
into one of the most beautiful things they've ever seen.
i'm going to be good,
and kind,
and light,
and keep my fingers crossed that others i encounter
will finally decide to let go,
and enjoy the ride.
to surf the tide
rather than struggle and squirm in the waves.
what gorgeous creatures we would be
if we could finally see
just how hideously we treat other beings.
stop thinking about "ME",
and start worrying about "WE".
because we,
as a whole,
are in some serious ******* trouble.
so please, stop.
stop running, start dancing.
stop screaming, start laughing.
and please,
for the sake of all existence,
stop buying in to all of this ********
life is not an endless quest to acquire the most over-priced garbage,
it's a journey through time and space to make yourself,
to love all that surrounds you,
and to learn to value yourself more than you value your brand new pair of perky ****
we weren't sculpted of plastic and silicone,
we were forged of raw stardust.
it's time that we rise to the occasion of being bodies of light,
and make the darkness of night seem at least a little less lonely.
"the things you own end up owning you",
and i refuse to be enslaved.
i long for the days when free-thinkers were the cream of the crop,
now, they're lining up the firing squad
to mock and gawk at those too brave to "baa" with the rest of the flock.
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 21, 2012 at 4:14 PM UTC
Go outside after breakfast
Come back for lunch at noon.
Come inside at suppertime
And even then, it was too soon.
Never permitted to be late
We ate dinner at six each day
Eat every bite on our plate.
About the menu we had no say.
We had baking soda submarines
Popular Mechanics magazines
And that was technology back then.
Decoder rings and roller skate keys
Shooting marbles on our knees
And playing crooks and G-men.
Those days we had three channels
On all black and white televisions.
Just the same thirteen inch boxes;
Nothing like 3D or Panavision.
Loved Uncle Miltie and Lucille Ball
And considered Korla Pandit a waste,
But we must be forgiven because
Back then, no one had much taste.
We could spell Kula, Fran and Ollie,
Said words like “gosh”, and “by golly”
And were anxious to see flying cars.
Many movies were in Technicolor
But you always had to take your brother
And he didn’t recognize the stars.
After school we played sandlot ball
Saturday were TV cartoon shows;
Dancing trees with belly buttons
And a local clown with a red nose.
We joined Cubs and Boy Scouts
Had lemonade stands by the street,
Matchbooks in bicycle stokes
And used bottle cap taps for our feet.
It seemed like days were longer then
And summer was slow to come again.
Those were the days when we had fun.
We built our forts and hooked up swings
Kids did all crazy kinds of things
Before these modern times had begun.
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 7:55 PM UTC
H C = C = O
...2
Ethenone.
Formal term for Ketene.
a Colorless gas at Standard Temperature &Pressure; with a sharp irritating odour,
Not much far closer,
from our love, meaningless at Social Technical Policy, boring like an unpaid decoder.
•• ••
O = C = O CO2
•• ••
I was wrong to would've apprehended of Hour Love as carbon dioxide ,
Naturally occuring in time, with two double bonded souls to a single heart.
S = <3 = S , in a lovical formular,
Soul = Heart = Soul.
Or did we undergo Mitosis?
Where we were processed and divided into a sequence of four phases..
Prophase our love appeared tenacious,
Metaphase we lined up portraying our sentiments in the middle of the terrestrial sphere
**** Walther Flemming for creating
Anaphase because that's when we split up
And Telophase made **** sure that we are sealed in different new terra firms
H ...H
...\ /
....O
H ...O - Water
...2
We were like
Water and Oxygen,
Without each other nothing was possible,
because without water we could die.
I Thought Love Was Science,
I think I was Right.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 12:02 PM UTC
'It'll get bad reviews, we should scrap the project before it breaks the budget.'
We sit and talk art and beauty, love and fear,
my heart cracking open, and you,
rushing in.
We sit and talk,
play at this deadly game,
ignore the consequences,
shun the inconsistencies. The
words,
words,
words,
they swirl,
and
we slip,
we slip,
we slip.
It's a real cliffhanger.
Hearts on sleeves,
music weaves,
stories come to light.
Secrets, oozing out between
the well crafted lines of
our carefully scripted plot.
We sit and talk circles around
the herds of white elephants
that come to watch the show.
Mocking us, they laugh
as we tiptoe through fields of daffodils
under dark skies with rainbows.
(Scene change now)
In dark of night
I squeeze out hope
from my heart.
God ****** hope
twists up and knifes
me in the side,
leaves me bleeding on the floor.
And you, fool you are,
rush to my aid.
If you're saving me,
who's saving you?
You, with your secret decoder ring
from your box of caramel corn, cracking
my heart, you peel my layers.
Your questions run deep but your feet will run faster, and
I'll fall,
I'll fall,
I'll fall.
Gravity's a real drag;
I've felt it's pull before.
Me, with my third eye see the pan and play.
This show will end leaving us all sitting in our seats
wanting another thirty minutes,
a tidier ending.
This ain't Disney.
We'll feel like we've been
ripped,
ripped,
ripped.
No refunds here,
go file your complaint with the man upstairs.
The audience stands, turns to go.
White elephants know there's no silver lining,
no *** of gold.
They threw popcorn at the screen, but you didn't notice.
I always hated white elephants;
I thought you did too.
Who invited them to the show?
We step outside,
no curtain call,
no applause.
Hail falls down on this sunny blue day.
Afraid to touch you, but
I want to catch you in my mouth.
Would you please just go away,
before I end up with lumps
on my head,
in my throat?
My eyes blinded by the sun,
the hail,
this ill fated show.
Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 4:12 AM UTC
This is super secret loving
Like when my foot accidentally touches yours over coffee
I ask if you want to play footsies
And then move my foot away to make sure
The whole thing isn’t weird
And you tell me I don’t have to move my foot
So I then rub my leg against yours
Like a one legged cricket who’s sure
He’s found the set that plays his song
Only your face turns red
And the song doesn’t play
I look to my super secret decoder
Mood ring that tells me what you’re feeling
Only if I can touch you long enough for it to change colors
So I hold your hand like a zipper
And you shake mine away like a stove linger
I half expect you to **** your finger like a cigarette burn
The ring looks like antifreeze
Caught in the glare of sunlight
With no definite answer
And I don’t know what to think
This is super secret heartbreak
As I apologize
Even though I was being myself
Like a man who never knew a mirror
Like a boy
Who wanted to say something like
You smell really good
I know I should have learned
To keep my hands
And feet to myself by now
But this is super secret loving
And the storm swirling in my super secret decoder mood ring
Is fading to green like envy
And now blue
Super secretly
I say
Let’s try this again
As you stand up to leave
After reading a text message
About how your dog died
Super secretly
I say
stay
Sep 22, 2011
Sep 22, 2011 at 5:24 AM UTC
Without my ******* Jack secret
decoder ring I am lost
when I see a periodic table
I want to read left to right
for sense not status so
Nitrogen plus Oxygen means “No”
Phosphorus plus Sulfur makes “P.S.”
Lithium plus Beryllium spells “Likable Bear”
and so forth
Abbreviations of elements
that form the world I inhabit
appear disguised as aliens
their images blur from solid
to sinuous liquid
then gaseous vapor
as my eyes glaze
over into white noise
switch cognition channels
to resolve the mystery
contain the strangeness
in a familiar form
my numb brain grows a snout
starts poking around
like an old hound dog
snuffling autumn leaves
to decipher the scent of calculus
when the jonquils of high school algebra
have long since fallen
and confused summer yellows
with dew wrapped plums
quiet in dappled shade
plump and smooth
glistening soft
with promise
on a blue checked cloth
upon a worn oak table
(c) 2017-04-06
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 2:07 AM UTC
he is an encrypted cipher
that no one succeeds to decrypt
except I, his devoted decoder,
will lovingly write his untold poetry;
let it be spoken, not in words,
but in the bits of his codes..
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 7:04 AM UTC
Tears drawing from the unseen in-between intervene
And something that is still growing just another wing
To pains happiness false advertising and material diving
Into the minds of weak people weak people looking at evil
Live is evil backwards think about it it's nothing but ****
In the deepest pits we see well grounded ****
Everything labelled counterfeit tik this and tok that
Look for the clown who has the gat where is he at?
He's on every corner every street loves to come when it's heat
Tension rising pass a birds eye only to make more stys why?
Have we forgotten what love is ? Or is it a new gig or a biz?
Kids having kids phones get more service that interacting
With each other social media has exploit one another
More fights are held with words than with fist I dismiss
The bs at once let give social toxicity a dunce cap relapse
Let the energy die down so we can see what's all around
Hickory dickory dock what's next on the vids of TikTok
Small video for a promo maybe make some deniro?
Or is it a cyber surveillance posing as a locator intelligence
Or it it a deat decoder waiting for another body in ambulance
Autotunes are ruining everything can't speak to humans any more
Nope not even only robots and automated whores
More kids being driven by fear pain guilt & broken wills
Rather than being driven by energy grit guts and glory
Not your average story coronavirus is just the tip of the iceberg
Virtual reality replacing humanity maybe Judge Dredd was right
It's all hidden in plain sight the true is at its deepest roots
Wake up sleepers wake up we've got work to do let's end this blue
Jul 27, 2020
Jul 27, 2020 at 2:11 AM UTC
Brain-powered brutes; kings of intellectual pursuits,
Vastly superior, sadly divorced from our roots.
Propelled to be upheld as the peak of all life;
The human species, as sharp as a corsair’s knife.
There’s about 80 billion neurons in your noggin,
Networks, working all day until you lie in a coffin.
Brain and spine; co-ordination, perfection, divine.
Plainly sublime, an observation of gifts we’re assigned.
Whether it’s seeing a sunset in the arms of your new love,
Or hearing thunder as it claps from heavens above;
Whether it’s embracing a friend you haven’t seen for too long,
Or smelling and tasting street food, lost in a throng;
It’s all assembled in your organic computer,
Your decoder of reality, your trouble-shooter.
That’s precisely why I don’t trust the brain blindly.
Despite its marvels, we can be deceived, wildly,
In a manner that is grotesque and unsightly.
Use your senses, but administer them wisely,
Live in reflective harmony, speak forthrightly.
And, most importantly, listen to intuition,
For it’s basically like getting divine tuition.
We know of love when we feel it inside us,
When we hold one another defiantly, and say:
“You will not divide us!”
We’re awed by thunder when its loudness strikes our soul,
Hunger gets to us when we’ve felt it as a whole;
We know how much we miss one another upon going home.
We say we’ll know it when we see it –
No; we’ll know it for sure when we feel it.
May 3, 2019
May 3, 2019 at 7:41 AM UTC
Crepuscular creatures of comfort
Ensconced in your distant corner seat
With your paper folded and neat
Existential and conventional are you
Criss Crossing boxes of clues
Pigeonholed decoder of choose
Or not
Looking only for the clues that fit
Make it or break it or quit
I take my tea and sit
next to him
With a mischievous grin
I begin
I hope I’m not disturbing you
Which is exactly what I hope to do
Well not in a mean way
I was just hoping that I too could play
But this isn’t a game for two
I clearly haven’t a clue
Let’s approach it from another angle
Which is not exactly horizontal
Or vertical
But rather hysterically versatile
Or farcically upended and perhaps juvenile
Not the approach you should take
With one who is filling in boxes
Looking not
Not to make a mistake
Do you always finish your puzzles?
Say I
Oh yes says he
Perhaps with a spark of glee
Their numbered by degree of difficulty
You see
Oh really, say I, I didn’t know that
What number are you completing
This one is four
They change by the day.
Doesn’t everything
I think
But, don’t say.
I play to keep my mind active
He offers.
Your talking to the horizontally damaged
Vertically challenged
I think
He continues
To keep things interesting
There are some days I only do the down boxes
Wow, I think
That’s really interesting
So god ****** interesting
That’s so interesting
I think I could choke on my tea
But excuse me
I think I have to ***
Maybe the joke was on me.
My take away
If you want to complete the puzzle
Don’t look for someone who does the down boxes
On your up days
You’ll never be on the same page.
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 28, 2019 at 2:20 PM UTC