Oh to untie you
From the straints of adolescence.
To craddle you
Kiss your closed eyes-
Feel the lashes brush my lips
Softly now like down and spring
Sweet like young breath
You would lean in.
But suddenly-
Filled with flame you would grasp
Become the craddle yourself.
Free from those who bind you
Chosing to bind us instead.
In hate or love
It is all the same
We call it adolesence

Boating 'cross the seven seas
I found a bottle brittle green
Parchment fragments polluted the space
The messages compormised, gone to waste

Boating 'cross the deadly shores
Pieces of flesh foretold gore
Spreading my vision further in sand
I spotted a managled former man

Oh! These blue oceans rock my soul
But I travel and travel for all the gold
Oh! some sights I wished not seen
But I boat 'cross for I am told
Comply not, I'm hanged for fiend.

Blue
Oceans
Craddle and hold
Hold and craddle
Craddle and hold
The ******, ******, ****** souls.

I wanna kiss it
but its so hard
not sure how to bring it against my lips
and then my fingers up and slip
So soft
the place you make between my shoulders as they stand
the truth in your presence
the defautl in your eyes
unlike the lovely demise
in the powerful
but full of histories of deciet and self succumed lies
in a cloud on a pillar high
this is where I thought I might die
but death isnt the only escape
when beauty surrounds you from your mistakes
filters in through your insides
it leads you to a moutain top so high
the snow fall cleans you of your ***** hide
kiss you touch ouy
never call you mine
because I know better

not to contain higher things
clip thier wings

I gave my heart, I gve my soul
to the wronged of those

may I rest by your side
my ribcage exposed
to the love you know
from my touch
from my gental spirit
the light from behind my eyes
that reaches and finally does it touch
you heal me inside
you slip your sweet medicine between my lips
you swindle your breateh of life
I dont fight you with my hips
into my worried eyes
I fear not
not any more
so long as you are here
I can let go of this rope
lay your worried bones next to mine
and I'll do my very best to buy us this time
may the clock stop
as it does for the dead
because we are heaven lieing in your bed

kiss me once
kiss me twice
and I'll kiss you thrice
my worries drop as does this plunder
my thoughts roll from us like defeated thunder
I hold you whole
I hold you tight
I give you the same freedom, I give you the same rights
I heard you speak
of whats in your head
I'm smilling for the things you dont know that of which you said
fumbling in your sleep
you craddle my crown
as I dose myself in the sweet silent sound

I am fawn white
I am pure irridescent light
cloaked in darkness
hidden from sight
so that the goodness might prevail
even during teh trials of night

You, with orbs in your antlers
with moons on your tongue
you dont chase me
I realize I mustnt run
The power with in you
sends me still
even so, I am reeled
for the dangers I've met
for the dreams
I stir
I feel the safety in this allure
you sparkle in my eyes
from inside you
I see us side by side
standing tall
for authority we call

together we are safe
and with tired eyes
I will keep you warm and safe
to any and all expendeture
we are fair
a deiety in of itself
we are desired for being rare

There's a nebulla in the sky
I named to homage our neighbor.
There's a constellation in your eye.
And I never knew I could love without hesitation,
Or temptation from another to ever leave your side.

It's been a beautiful day,
A walk through the skyless skies,
Like a dream of you slowly floating by.
Now I believe,
I'm sure that we can make it,
By and by.
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

The Suductress is tamed.
The Prince has settled her down.
The Queen has matched
Her gown to the Royal Crown.
The crimes have been pardoned,
So families can re-unite
(Moon and Sky)
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

It's been a beautiful day,
A walk through the skyless skies,
Like a dream of you slowly floating by.
Now I believe.
I'm sure that we can make it,
By and By.
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

I'm so glad
That you're going to let me hold you.
(One more time)
In my arms
I'll craddle you as we sigh.
Now I believe.
I'm sure that we can make it, by and by.
It's been a beautiful day,
And now it's gonna be a wonderful night.

Don't wake up,

Don't wake me up,

Don't drag me from the only place I feel nothing.

Sounding alarms, a wretched voice,

telling me I can't go back.

Weak bones push a barely functioning body up and onto bruised feet,

cracked back- I go through the motions

I pretend to eat

I dress in the slop in front of me

I look to the mirror and pretend to like what I see.

I drag myself to a car nearly as broken as I

and off to banality.

I hardly breath

I hardly speak

My mind is elsewhere,

a where they'll never find me.

Fatigue overhwelmes me,

I taste the need.-

It's already sixth period-

what happened to the day?

I don't remember,

it's rare that I do.

Long hours curled in a ball

hoping their eyes pass right over me.

I sleep walk through the day,

a ghost to all who glance.

I'm home again,

where no one has the chance to see me,

I hide behind usernames

and craddle their comments.

With no voice and an empty belly.

I mindlessly tap away at an electric screen.

It's not really me.

I turn my thoughts to things so strange

and much much older than me.

Wasting away the hours,

maybe the more fantasy I watch

I'll forget about where I really am.

It's 2am-

I no longer bother to try and sleep

I can shut my eyes

and wait all I want

still nothing but darkness

and a quiet house-

why is no one ever home?

Not that I care, of course,

I'll go to the dark but comforting

corner of Tumblr,

and wait.

4:30am

like clockwork

I sleep,

dream of dark things

much older than me,

and quietly beg to never wake up.

I want to make something
that will make the ground underneath you hesitant
the human with the sad eyes
and the crippled thoughts
lonesome long tiered vicious walks
down the alleys of your broken jars
your wide is hallow
and incircling everything you lack trust in
I am the mirror image of the laws of lust
and my body its like dry wall, stagnant
unmoving no wavering
resistent and i am not to be spoken to

laws
mercy mercy
please abide by breaking them
when conjuring with society has reached
fatal destruction of ones own opinion
on how I should walk when my back hurts
and the wind is beating down on my chest
and making me far beyond physically sick
I prowl the arena of this panther
life life

and im dumbfounded walking sideways
trailing off and wailing off into
your absoloute cause

wonderland you are beautiful
wonderland you make me cry
land of wonder I shall craddle you
with all the infants the world has to offer
to lay you down and give you
the milk of my soul

and I am sifted on to the edge of the road
I'm diving into the state of being whole
when alone and subdued
cure without a cure
love without abuse
I build castles in the air
I reconsolidate and accomidate simple
translations of your finest trickery
into a meaning with no meaning
land turned into a molecule

on the tips of my goosebumps.

When oh when shall it arise?
Only you know when you know
Could be in that passing stranger
Or simply that kind gesture
For no one really, really knows
What we are all capable of
If you know please share
Not just to myself, the world
Many eye's need opening
Many souls come alight
That's all...good night!

Gloved hands flex in umbra of night
a cot rocks, glittering in the rays of moonlight
baby coos, shaking its rattle
the leathery hands stalk the craddle
finding their prey, the gloves seek the neck
like guillotine, they reap
... they reap

Every idea meets this end
Every dream of mine every prayer
In infancy they glow then glow no more
throttled by shame, they break
chastised by fear, they fade
I would rock them, nestled in coaxing arms, close to my heart
the clock chimes its hour with pride and finality
at midnight, the reaping begins
upon the witching hour, my dreams are snuffed
and nightmares usurp their place.

Is it torment to expect more of myself?
Content to write poetry and leave epic tales of heroes and nemeses to doom and dust?

How many old lovers have I professed my dreams to
how many friends have I bored with my tales
how many family members smiled as I asserted my storytelling chops
only so I could stop, even before the period could halt the last sentence of the novel, thwarting its purpose.

How many heroes clambered upon my doorstep
begging, pleading for me to pen their heroism
How many villains woke me up with their cackling
In the corner, sitting, their eyes glowing in the void of night,
smiling teeth too white
or too black
feathered hats bobbing as their malice peaks
when they hold snaking knives to my throat
and with morbid breath instruct,
"For the love of God..." they say,
"Paint me in a good light, but make my misdeeds known, **** you!"
And I would lay awake, dreaming of these worlds
until the clocks knell
knell
knell
knell
allowing the ebb of time
to wash away my desires, my talents
and the glistening, far-off worlds fade to nothing...

In the end, indeed,
even my mind fades
leaving nothing but a husk behind
and all who knew come to watch
hanging a tombstone upon my rigor mortis neck,
it reads the words,
"He tried, of course he tried
but the devil has his price,
and this poor soul couldn't make rent."

oh ****, you sent me those chills again today
that one song knows how to bring it all back
and i knew exactly what to do
indulge, indulge, devour what i could

sweep up these teary eye diamonds
no questions---who am i kidding
a million questions all across the grid
it's magical, and i refuse to let it go

nothing is remotely relevant like you

i give you credit for breaking my heart
trashing it with euphoric bursts
your name, full of weight on my tongue
prestigious, if only to these uninvited thoughts

but i welcome them in, cordially and whole heartedly
maybe, since then, i was disposable after some time
****, i'm that kodak, thrown in the back of the drawer
i'll suffer with those oh so familiar montages of photos

treasure that innocent film we made
i'll always pause at your smile---
banged up, reminded of you
can't help the feeling of today

brutally graced into submission
we were imperfection held by conviction
that...that i still love
our relationship was dolled up for a date

held by hairspray, that'd unravel every night
colored by lipstick, that'd fade after one too many kisses
darkened by eyeliner, that'd turn the normal into mysterious
crafted by mascara, that'd run at the first sight of tears

tyrannize, patronize, calcify my broken heart...

don't hold back, instead, enable me---
enable me, and my broken heart
send me those chills every so often
i need to be reminded of you

i'm addicted to yesterday
and you underestimate the things that i will do

search for those benson and hedges
craddle that bitter coffee
moving closer towards the edge
suffer again and again

i'm hopeless
a hopeless romantic...
and i give you credit for breaking my heart.

What am I going to do?
I'm in love with you all over again.....

This sensation i feel won't abate,
Especially in these hours of late.
I gaze at your picture longing for connection,
to rap and craddle in this forbidden affection.

To rock till weightless in your embracing arms,
To snuggle till effortless in your loving charms.
I need you in this lonely hour,
For in my weakness i can but cower.

So with this despair i keep you close,
Never to reveal the truth so morose.
To live with you in total absence,
will remove all that keeps me in balance.

Worldly obsessions take hold
of the confident and bold
regressing in will
swallow that pill
craddle that bottle
watch him wobble
with ignorance
and greed
drop to your knees and plead
with the lord
you're bored
and sore
from the whiplash of life
the universe is trife
my words corrupt and slaughter
flowing like ***** tap water
I speak for the dumb
I hear for the deaf
breath for the breath
less
and this should be enough
what makes you so tough
you snarl and growl
fowl as ****
In your skin tight jeans and pick up truck
good luck

gentile waves lap against me
tickle my senses with ectasy
hold me till they recede
damp erosion is what they leave
as I whimper come back

shall I leave for higher ground
to that sweet valley abound
craddle me in its hilly arms
listen to the serenade of sound
as I hear her whimper come back

this perpetual dream, that dominates
my every thought, hard to break
just let go, for sanity sake
come back to the my world, and create
as I whimper don't come back

Good morning
And there you are
Obtrusive
Well I'd rather
Have you and not need you
Than need you and not have you

Time to ***
But the house is buzzing
With activity
Coffee being made
Keyboards click-click-clicking
The dogs doing laps around
The living room furniture

We can do this
Out the door
And we are ambushed
I turn towards the bookshelf
Awkwardly perusing the collection
While drumming you
Against the spines of
Hemmingway
Bukowski
Lovecraft
Murakami
Like a stick on
A white picket fence

Then the threat has passed

We scramble down the hall
Is he in the computer room?
Oh god, he is
And you just stared him square
In the face
"Good morning"
The silent nod
Says it all

I craddle you in my hand
Through my boxers
And do my best to conceal you
Finally
We are behind
The relative safety
Of a locked door

Peeing proves difficult
Advanced calculations
Yields ***** on the seat

Back into bed
I'm sure I'll see you again
Very soon

I shake the hands, of all the pines
As they see me down the line
The green roads turning beige
My eyes covered in a viscous haze

My heart is setting the table
Inside my chest for the craddle
Of little leeches and mouths to feed
And abandon all my hope and creed

But the trees are looking down
And they sigh with heavy frowns
At the state I am going to end
The bone of my back I’ll bend

But the skies are lavender and blue
And my feet seem to always go through
The thickest mud, the sludge and raptor teeth
While the knife is on my throat, and I hold the sheath

A specter watching by, no advice
With the abyss reading, the mourning concise
As I walk this path alone
Knowing of not any home

You’re not set to have an easy road, you aren’t graced with luck and leisure, you will toil and labor for the things that you need

You will not get help, you aren’t deemed by the mass to be given the grace of the lord, this is the fate of this avenue

You won’t deserve it, but the cosmos has alligned against your favor, you will tend fields of rotted corn and unfertile abyss

You weren’t a lucky one, the world held a gun to you the minute you gave a pulse, unwanted in this darkness it became your craddle

You will ask for help, but will not receive it, for you are the shadow among the other shadows

This is a reality hard to mend, for the ones born to leisure never look under the stones they sit on

Which words will craddle my soul and my future for the rest of those years ?

know me better than most, they say
my adjectives and nouns
but when i fell down in the forest
no one heard a sound

in the moment
let us  
cling to the
craddle of night and
breathe deep
the sacred moon delight
forever and ever
oh what sweet light
that give us
this day
our  daily bread
in the moment

A humming sound inside my cotton ears.
Vibrating at the speed of sound.
I can't hear your voice.
Between flaky birch trees there is a hidden mysterious wind.
We can not go back.
Ominous clouds craddle me in blessed light.
In this golden dust we sleep.
I shut my eyelids and let the weight of the universe hold me down.
Noise.
It's everywhere.
In the shadows of my life.
Through out my wholesome slumber it is quiet.
When I wake the sound will return
The sound will return.
The sound will return.

Ain't no reason our road will stop
We know how to roll together
We'll make that craddle rock
It's as easy as insanity can be
Two of us together make history

Nightmare #1
The first nightmare I had after the trauma set in
The one where you bind me to a table so tightly my arms, hands, legs and feet start to tingle
The one where I'm naked and it's cold and I can feel my back and backside pressing very hard against the metal table
It's in a dark room and I can't even see an inch in front of me
But I hear you
I can hear you as you shove open the metal door, screeching on its hinges
I can hear you as your feet drag across concrete
I squirm helplessly, trying to loosen the knots but to no avail
It's dark in here but you are the darkest of it all
A slender tall outline in the darkness, I watch as you tower over me, your menacing spotted sharp toothed grin curling around your face as you puff out a small giggle
Your cold hands craddle my face, I shiver, your long talon like nails dig into my temples. In a soft voice you assure me that it will be over soon.
And then I see the blade
I can't tell if it's a knife, or a razor blade, but it's small and fits into the palm of your hand, and you cradle it like a baby bird dying in your hands
You jab the point into my arms and drag slowly across my flesh
You go deeper and deeper each stroke
This is all you do, is draw a blade across every inch of my skin
I beg for it to stop. I beg for you to let me go, and you insist I have nowhere else to go.
This is my home now.

Giggle, when you tackle me
You tickle me till I can’t  breath
I never ever want you to leave

Frown, when I have no one to hang around
Sadness is a part of my life
Becuase you are deciding wether or not to leave your wife  

Warm, Your soft smirk that turns towards me
Your soft lips against mine
You craddle me as if I was a baby to warm me up
I have so much love my hearts going to erupt

Shiver, my body shakes violently
There is not warmth around me
My hands turn purple
My heart starts to ripple

These are all ups and downs it’s a part of life when your around

And then you spoke to me.
A soft voice in the darkness.
One I'd waited for for far too long.

And I told you not to move:
Not to stop talking.
I broke the spell--our spell.
Like a balloon, so afraid for you to fly,
I held you too tight.

I didn't craddle you properly.
I didn't let you fly and return.
…I couldn't.
I knew you would leave me.
And I am sorry.

I am also sorry that you hurt me along the way.
That I let you.
I let you form static electricity around my heart again and again as you laughed.
You laughed at me, in the dark.
Inaudible were the words, but I found out later.
I found out who you were, later.

I found who I was, too.

I found out that I gave you more than you deserved.
And I hurt you far more than what was called for.
And I never let you go.
Not then.
Not now.

This time I hold the string
not to keep you with me
(You have already flown away;
You flew away without my permission.
And you flew away with it, too.)
I hold the string because that string is love.
And you were my first.
And I would never want to get rid of that part of me.
I couldn't if I tried.

So I hold the string to remember;
Because there is no sky that could contain the both of us in this lifetime.
But I can hold who I was when I was with you.
And I can hold who you have made me become.

And I can remember you.

You taught me how to properly let go.

But most importantly,
You taught me how to properly

hold on.

when the photographs magnify
the good times with the worst
when they smear and blur and wobble
and it's too hard to see sepia
for what it was
for what it's worth
hold those snapshots
craddle, squeeze, caress
like babies
like a dying woman's hand
like shadows of a past reality
let the dams break
let the bawls rock you
to sleep or to insanity
whichever comes most
naturally
cheeks will tattle
via burst blood-vessels
eyelids may be swollen
for sunrises to come
your voice, gone
but it won't matter
no, not as you wonder
how many people
have wept themselves to death?

Cheers to all the lonely hearts out there! May we celebrate this loneliness together and rejoice in isolation. Our tears are not shedding in vain; the least we can do at this moment is craddle our pain. Hear the angels weep with us; none of us are truly alone. Time to retreat from the world and be one with the angels.

You don't love me .
Though you say this million of times but still you don't .
You never loved me for all those silly mistakes that I do .
You didn't kissed me  and craddle me in your arm that day when we were lying on the bed and I was feeling sleepy ,
You didn't find that adorable when I was licking that  my favorite ice-cream .
You didn't .
You didn't think it was cute how I'd blink everytime I cursed  like my body  was physically rejecting the foul word .
You didn't think that I was looking beautiful when I was walking down the street on that rainy day .
You didn't love me when you made sweet love to me .
You didn't cared when I was going away from you when we had fight that day .
This is not you whom I love but this is you whom you love but never loved me.

In the grand scheme of things, I just want to be touched
In a way that is meaningful,

I fear being witness to the ghosts who lie in the hands of others,
When they are so close to mine but not close enough yet,

In the moments where I imagine
What I could be doing
Instead of doing it.

In the small schemes of things, I just want to be taken care of in a lovely way,
Craddle me, precious,
Wash my hair,
Caress my arms and
Let us not be afraid.