Never to be severed,
that middle rip I have trouble writing about.
Never to be severed
every nation inside you defeated
unable to see past billowing battle smoke.
Not pushed or shoved down a well but savagely kicked in solar plexus
after only learning how to ride a bike.
**** up ***** water.
Choke on betrayal.
Mom's ****** face calling to you.
Step dad hit her so many times you lost count.
Too young to understand this will be your great lesson.
Packed into someone else's violent
shell, load me into your hollow chamber, fire me, like shots heard around the world.
Martin. Kennedy. Africa. Christ.
Severe me.
Break my heart in a thousand ways.
From now on nothing will be the same.
This will be Love facing the gun.
This will be my God on the cross.
This will be clomping boots terrorizing Purple Mountain Majesty.
No one will know, my child.
No one will know us.
We will never trust.
We will cry for our lost god.
Why has he abandoned us?
We will fold up silence and pack it tight into our suit case.
No one will know.
We shall not speak of it.
We will use mixed metaphors to erase the true origin of our salted wound.
We will fly across troubled waters,
people will smile at us but we won't smile back.
We will eat the shattering palace of paradise and it will taste like the bottomless pit of hell.
We will gnash our teeth over rebellious years, we will cope on poison, on fleeting pleasure, we will learn to write flames over golden arches.
We will close ourselves.
We will store our hollowed house so deep into our bones not even I will be able to find it.
No one must know us.
We will break apart.
We will traverse a haunted world
finding others like us.
We will make friends with the battered face of recognition.
We will eat the betrayed dust of every nation.
Our anger will have no limits.
We will use it to condemn ourselves.
We will practice self mutilation.
We will hide our most precious love in the silence of a pen scribbling away years searching for reason in caved in coal mines,
our interior selves packed tight with 'blacker than black' darkness,
yet we will not stop searching for diamonds.
No.
We will still have hope.
We will still go on.
Bashed in, fermented in rot.
Our throats thirsty for golden ale.
Our eyes still roped in by the whisper and grandeur of sunset,
our hearts full of uncontrollable aching for this moonlight plastered in water, we will still hear John The Baptist's voice screaming in the cell of our bleakest, darkest dungeon.
Have you Not Known?
Have you not Heard?
Has it not been told to you from the beginning?
Even though our foundation is crumbled we will look high and low in the valley for our healing prophet.
Never to be severed,
severed in the break of hallow ground. We will know that violence is not the way even when we want to **** ourselves.
Our ears to the earth
listening for her hidden spring
we will cut our pathway into secret channels.
We will scramble for it.
Restless for a taste of purity.
Our haunted inspiration will leak resin and find twisted flame.
Our desire will grow higher.
Our fire will fan into every capillary.
We will carry hidden, super forest fires in our eyes until we hit the ocean.
We will laugh until our abs are rolling down the hill.
We will make unforgettable friends and we will find comfort in each other.
We will open up slowly.
Taking our time.
Our love vapors will find a way around the darkness.
It will build up, our awareness connected to A Great Hall, every part of our fragmented self will start to seek it.
We will have close encounters with powerful peaceful angels stirring us in our sleep. We will thirst for Home with a thirst so deep the entire galaxy will hear us.
We will realize we were wrong to hate.
We will feel ashamed of our misplaced ways.
We will ask deeper questions.
We will read more prophets.
We will learn to forgive it all.
We will have compassion on ourselves.
Our unworthiness will learn to cry and in our willingness to change:
The Great Spirit will ask for our permission to heal us.
We will say Yes.
We will be cleaned out.
Every ***** action brutally ****** upon us will be wiped away.
We will understand we are bigger.
Every single human being is our brother, sister, mother, father.
We will feel the unlimited love from the Great spirit and we will never be the same.
We will make it our new mission to love.
We will walk lightly now.
Our expanded understanding has made our eyes into vistas, deserts,
rivers, oceans, we will flow, never to be severed, we will seek to heal entire nations.
We are back.
Complete.
In full knowing of who we are, where we came from, resting from want as the Great Spirit has returned to us.
We are all angels.
Even the wretched ones.
Our souls will grow stronger than you can possibly imagine because we were willing to brave the darkness.