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Walter Alter Sep 2023
you have a mind
your mileage may vary
on this floating grain of sand
he prayed over and over
be far away be far far away
at least he was smart enough to know
what an idiot at prayer he was
not exactly a random sampling
but life is a subjective-objective combo dish
try not to make your singular and perpetual
problems into my singular etc.
since I am a frail hemopheliac
pursued by jackals and hyenas
tracking blood up the stairway
for not acting in a timely manner
but the fact is that the late blossoms
are deeper hued longer and wider
and that's not a purposeful misnomer
may God part my *** to his ways
if I am shown to be in error
but times change and the irrelevant
eventually sinks noiselessly
into the sea but not just any sea
the exceedingly stormy Sea of Similar
yes some things are similar to others
and that's the mother of all cans of worms
it's a matter of screen resolution
which some may find nauseating
the engineers of Armageddon for example
as the weight of their wagers
crushes your spine and unleashes madmen
whose timely and public pillorying
would greatly benefit a humanity
screaming power to the feeble
hoping that the Universe is a great ******
I used to be a moving target
but now I'm a sitting duck
well not sitting per se
more a catatonic shuffle
that served to confound and confabulate
by who or for what purpose
remains to be investigated
by who or for what purpose
lies beyond my rank and armor
well not sitting per se
more a streak on the horizon
because we need to know the future
because the earthly love rocket
will get us there eventually
now there's a universal
even among the aimless

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
Walter Alter Sep 2023
It never melted for starters
the Magic Icicle could talk
it had humors jealousies aversions
deep rending tides of love
and week long fits of giggling
It had been crafted by Father Frost
The Emperor of the North
his breath could wreck a train
and send a picnic scattering
Billy never met the Frost King
who he heard was a ballroom dancer
fast on his feet tipita tapita
the dance finals were approaching
it was Billy's job to suss the opposition
his reports gave the Emperor
a step up on the competition
which was stiff as beaten egg whites
there were the castrati pair
Harley and Davidson
who were fast and supple
and could ignite a rattling ****
10 feet from the judges' candle
and rocket blurringly past them
like the jaguar under a jungle moon
there was Nip and Tuck
Edwardians from the pages of Lord Knackwit
they could anticipate every dip and swirl
and often stood quite still
then there were the Rubber Twins
Bobby Rubber and Loquatia Rubber
gliding ever gliding and then rebounding
in a ricochet ballet of Newtonian elasticity
with a certainty that will pirouette right over
your thin skinned inadequacies
undying in their devotion
to ******* and ropes and pulleys
and an elephant in a china shop agenda
while crickets rubbed their lanterns bright
and the night grew big as the Frog of Creation
hopping and hipping you along
on the dance floor of partial eternity
so loosen up and listen up
it's just that we really must
compare categories more often
actually hold them side by side
hold them up to death the little icon
in the corner of my screen
no way I'm going to click on it
it's going to have to click on me
and here we are at another frozen end
please accept your melting icicle statue
the Emperor's Sno Cone of Attention Award

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
Walter Alter Sep 2023
classified personal ad
parasite seeks host
now that we're friends can I talk *****
last night I ****** your wife
this looks like a nice place to stop
the problem with learning truth
is that you must conclude
how could I have been so stupid
words exist somewhere before spoken
excuse me accuse me words
my tracheotomy should be here by now
like the tribe with ears for lips
fortunately my molecules are all
somewhat trained to obey my wishes
the advantages of a rubber face
is that it holds more soup
all the dinner plates had tooth marks
eating the sunrise for breakfast
watching the aurora on TV
why not hold a festival at this very moment
while laying about on cushions
naturally I refused to take orders
and ducked into the post office
to search the posters for a kindly face
and weave my hair into a bird nest
at dawn the ambulance pulled up
and emptied the refrigerator
took the furniture and light bulbs
under a black and silver mountain of cloud
stretching from horizon to horizon
the wind was so fierce
flower blossoms became deadly missiles
the sand storm broke all my bones
they set wrong and the doctor said
we'll have to break them all again
one by one with a hammer and chisel
now that's a real armpit full of bacteria
I'll have to sit still and pose for the sculptor
with the radio turned up really loud
causes and their waiting effects
strangled and dangled at the city gate
yesterday's front page stuck to my shoe
the past is the space around things
memory is right here not distant
and poetry is not written to relieve tension
a man who reads clouds told me
look children he can rhyme
we have so many things to do
the world is such a mess
the sun goes down
the moon comes up
I really must undress

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
Walter Alter Sep 2023
my assassin hisses from behind his curtain
there's nobody here
with a stand up comic's grin
so he turned to practical jokes
got the gods tumbling spire over minaret
suffering a vigorously impious scorn
the pit bull lobby eventually had him banned
for making life into a pastoral meadow
but reposeful bliss eluded him
instead an agitated bliss on all his channels
being it was a game of hobbled feet
marrying truth to insanity
and created a race of juggling pundits
ringing like temple gongs
inherently bourgeois anarchist epicureans
wanting what is best is not always pretty
but nothing padded his gaze
observe the scale and the detail
the ruling class toiling all night
gave us minds and wills and forgetfulness
arise from the dead said the angel Mr. Blinky
kiss my sassafras *** said Billy Nitro
Scamper his Mongolian chihuahua
barking and snapping in emphasis
the times of laughter are over
he decanted in all silliness
so **** it laugh anyway
this is a limited time offer
you've read this you can't unread it
but what choice did I have
chronically coming up empty handed
flapping in the wind and no ******
vast and complex was Blinky's hypothermia
from deep within the Putumayo
a million chimeras cried for blood
the lava flowed round Pele's feet
upscale and chic descended to shopping cart
as the armless Venus glided towards him
fresh from a dump in a highway pay toilet
all love and germs in a clueless crescendo
freed him from omen slavery
Pol Potted the world of its many *******
Venus pulled him close
her hot breath made his hairs dance
she exhaled softly
you don't have to scream
to keep yourself awake
she could read a phoneme
like the moon in the river
as they pronounced us man and woman
their chief hipster said crazy man crazy
you are a freak like us
act accordingly

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
Walter Alter Sep 2023
my meme replacement therapy
is going quite well Dr. Nil just told me
because I can't handle everything thrown at me
everything is a lot and GIGO to boot
the fibrous growth in my ear
said that the future signals us in some way
maybe coded glances wink wink
but we're not sure of the spelling
a real spectacle of setbacks
a bleeding archaeological phantom
engineered to manipulate
moving my pen in gleeful jerks
with a genteel appetite for mayhem
which is why I am now sharing
the secret of life with you
mind is derivative
well that's it
looks like I've blown my cover
if this sounds like propaganda then it is
now to get on to the meatier part
first a matter of indexing
last a matter of indexing
buzzards circle my guardian bottle of muscatel
and a couple of robins too
a tempestuous tune in a teapot
from follow the bouncing ball
to Rocky Horror Show
occult syntax as a 2nd language
and that was the last surface
his wiggly digits ever palpated
because the sages lie through their teeth
but have good circulation and a ruddy face
with long lists of abjurations as usual
one of them spoke just now
sending me in to negotiate
because I have a snake pit for a soul
on further reflection it turns out
I have many souls
most of them severe critics
several are wind up toys
academic or practical you decide
existence is both diagrammatic
and ready to throw a punch
in an ancient tangle of inconsequentials
well perplexity is the root of all humor
how is it that some ideas
are interpreted by other ideas for example
but whatever you end up doing
we know too much
to be stupid any longer

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
Walter Alter Sep 2023
if your humor fails you **** yourself
because they will tell you why you failed
in far too great crippling detail
enemies of play
goose stepping to a zany polka
entire regiments ready to die
for the Nut in the Nuthouse
in a deep cover psyops mole operation
****** with my head like candy from a baby
weather permitting we'll visit the ruins
ancestral whorehouses and wretched genes
but they chose him and the billiard ***** flew
he was known as the glider pilot artist
painted a series of blue canvasses
with a single line down the center
because the mystery is an airy one
held together by a paper clip chain
though we were unjustifiably scared
out of our muttering wits to look
oh dear I believe I've lost
my transparent all-seeing membrane
it was the limpid dawn of another millennium
and its less than daring innovations
by the Mercantilist Association of Research
did its work upon the landscape
and the picture was anti-ros
for Seduction Delightenment and Elongation
their devil women had an undulating beauty
and boy they could really dance
having 3 legs and the gaze of the converted
she snipped his cigar and they got smoochy
it was a Robusto and presently the lights came on
in the passive calm of logic he screamed
with the strength of the oft bamboozled
not so passive then
her tongue curled round the back of his teeth
artillery pounded the trenches all night long
she had always been too much for any man
her star sign was Capricornucopia
one of several million methods
for eating the hearts of strangers
Nature having its benefits and liabilities
as welcome as a volcano as usual
we play lotto on her occasional flowerings
flail at doom and leave spoor
and try to make tension beautiful
what other species is there
that apparently actually wants to die
life has a lot of puzzles
on your way to
the bonfire
in the sky

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
Walter Alter Sep 2023
Tex Lester and his sidekick Lumpy Bascom
wiggled down the arroyo on their bellies
to better observe a latifundista trouble spot
too hot to touch so they tap danced instead
Lumpy grabbed the walkie talkie and said
hey my turn to change the channels
Tex said OK Lumpy said here goes
your eyelids are turning transparent
every lock has a key but some are kinda rusty
it was an irreducible problem
on a sliding scale as usual
nothing so precious as a mind
overcoming its own psychosis
nothing so dangerous so revealing
what makes potential seem immediate
who can have infinite protection
working yourself to exhaustion can help
if you are an original sin Catholic
it has been 7 seconds since my last confession
contusions from the infant cradle
held to the sky in blessing
but the fields always droop and wither
and we always have the rest of our lives
the latifundista was under attack
by an army of particulars
bringing the guilty to the book
if  they go apoplectic it usually means
there's a **** in the butter dish
at this point grab life by the ***
a balm for the paranoid shakes
or life's analog of the ****** Mary
offering her writhing body to lepers
entering heaven in her bent Bentley
while the rebels arouse themselves
as her personal representative
no keener mortal praise exists
except by her blind biographers
and their company of war chariots
our task is to mend civilization
without getting our ***** shot off
but at my age it's an empty threat
funny you don't see many
geriatric suicide bombers
a relic from grandma's day
where tradition was not the joke
it certainly is today unless it is a
tradition of mockery

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon
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