i really don't know how to start
this but here you go.

you don't know what i've
been through these years since you've
been gone.
you don't know how much i suffered
with you gone, and being alone.
but i guess it was all my fault, right?
i was the one who pushed you away, i was the
one who told you i didn't need you right?
no, you told me those things which
ended up leaving me completely hollow inside.

this is a letter for you.
for the one who left me when i needed them
the most, for the one who told me pretty
white lies just to keep me hypnotized,
and to the one who didn't love me at all.

well guess what? *******.
i did get better in fact, i'm happy now.
and the thing that makes me proud of
myself even more, is that i didn't
need you in my life to make me happy anymore.

goodbye.

they're always going to be changes
in our life, but it is up to
us to control them.

some of those changes might
not be able to control so easily,
but we have to be able to
accept them and move on.

in the course of living 18
years, i know now what is my happiness.
it's not relaying on a person anymore,
but on doing things that make me happy.

my happiness doesn't come from a person,
but from objects.
music, writings, photography, nature and more.

i've learned that if you rely on
people to bring you happiness, it will never come.
on the other hand, they won't even show
you positive sides to life.
and i learned this the hard way.

my happiness is enjoying
the things i love to do and making
myself happy rather than relying
on others to do it for me.

when i was little, all i knew about pain
was the sting on my knees after i fell
or the pain i felt after i
couldn't get the toy i wanted.

but growing up i now know what pain
is like. it can be deceiving
yet quite charming.

at first, pain comes in the sweetest times,
times where i felt infinite,
then the bitter of it call all at once
like a bolt of high electricity
running through my body.

it wasn't the usual pain i was feeling,
it was more than that.
it was the pain of looking myself in the mirror,
it was the pain of constant thoughts
of feeling hatred towards myself,
and it wasn't the pain that i could
fix in a day, more like years.

now i know what pain
really feels like.
and it isn't a beautiful kind of
pain that shouldnt be romanticized over,
or any pain that someone should ever be feeling.

it scares me to think about the future.
thinking about who i'm going
to be, what am i going to do,
or even if i'm going to be happy.

but what scares me the most about the future,
is not only me having to grow up,
but if i'm still going to love
you with all my heart and soul,
and if your going to love me back the same.

that boy which i thought was
perfect, really wasn't

he had flaws just  like
anybody else, he
wasn't the smartest person
around
but i loved him so.

that boy that hurt me in the end
really didn't know what
he was doing, so i forgave him.

that boy which was only a star in the sky,
but i knew he was my world.

but that boy, that boy that
i can keep writing about,
really did have a big part in my life
which i will never forget.

oh, and how i loved him so.

life is like a ocean
it can go through some harsh
storms but there
are days were it is incredibly beautiful.

life is like a flower
it can be so breathtaking and
bring happiness to people,
but it ends up dying.  

life is like the sky
there are many stages
in the sky from
gloomy, sunny, and bipolar times
but it will always be there.

life can come with many
obstacles, but it is
up to us to know how to get
over them and to enjoy life
as much as
we can before we leave it.