i'm scared that i'm never
going to be happy.

or that i'm never going to
get better or fully recover.

i'm scared that one day i'll have
the courage to **** myself and i
won't regret it at all.

i'm scared to see other people see me
the way i see myself.

i'm scared to see the people i love
the most not love me back
in return.

i'm so scared to not have the thing
that makes me happy no
longer in my life.

but one thing that i'm not
scared of is loving you till
the very end.

little girl, things aren't always okay
things aren't always going to go your way.
but that's okay.

little girl, everything is going to get bad,
but you know what? you are strong enough.
you just have to learn how to be tough
when those hard times come.

you're going to do many mistakes,
but those make you the person you are going to be.

little girl, there is going to be one point in your
life where you just want to end
it all
but everything is going to be just fine.

little girl, just remember this,
never doubt the people who are
going to be in your life that
actually love you. don't lose them.

little girl, you're going to be alright.

"Find what you love and let it **** you" -Bukowski*
this is a response to this quote i find intriguing.*

well i found what i love, and it
wasn't the type of love
you can get over in a day or in a year.

that love came in a form of a human
being, a great genuine boy-- well i thought.
he wasn't the most perfect human being
in the world,
but i loved him.

slowly but surly, the love we had
didn't last.
he started to move on with out me
leaving me behind.
but in my mind,
oh god how much i loved him,
i couldn't seem let him go.

the love that i had for this boy,
slowly did end up killing me.
not physically but emotionally.  

the sad part of it all,
i don't know if i should believe
in love anymore.

sometimes i wish someone can
save me from myself.

but i learned that the only
person who can save me from myself
is me.

and from this day on, i still
remember how it felt the
day you left me with no explanation.

making me feel like a unwanted
piece of crap with having no
reason to live anymore.

you were the blood in my veins,
the reason i was alive,
but now that you're gone i have
no reason to live anymore.

i just hope that one day
you know what you caused.