i'm sitting on my front porch with
thoughts in my head slamming against my skull.
constantly reminding me, "that i could never be the girl he needs or
that i loved him more than he loved me."
taking pills and pills just to forget you,
isn't working anymore.
suddenly, drowning my demons
in drugs wasn't enough anymore.
it's 6 am
i haven't gone to bed
i'm stuck in this thought of you
that i wish i didn't have.
it's 6 am
i'm on my roof gazing off
into the sunrise.
i can't compare you to the
sun anymore because the sun
gives me hope that everything
will be alright.
it's 6:30 am
you are no longer my sun
you are no longer what i hope
for in life
you are no longer in my thoughts.
you clipped my wings
then asked why i didn't fly.
you drowned me and asked
me why i didn't survive.
you broke me and asked me
why i couldn't be the same.
you told me you did those things
for my own good.
how can you possibly
still tell me you love me after
all the things you've done to me?
he poured poison down
my throat and called it poetry.
he tried to explain to me that
our love was never real.
he felt nothing at all
when i was the one feeling
he told me to forgive him
for ruining me.
but all i knew is that i was
his damaged goods, his non existing love,
his poised poetry.
i never thought i’d find comfort in a voice.
i never thought i'd find comfort in you.
I want to write but every time
I write, it’s about you.
And it hurts to write about you.
it's really sad to know that you looked at me once
the same way you look at her now. and
it kills me to know that she is your