One day, my mind screams, one day. But I have waited. I have struggled. I am hanging on bare threads but I don't know for how much longer. Some day they will rip. I will fall. Will somebody catch me or watch how I splatter on the ground? Will they enjoy the sight or mourn the lost possibilities? Will they pity themselves? The only consolation for me would be to never have to listen again. Disappointement came and went whereever I stood. Never enough even when I gave everything I had.
Now, do you see? Why I reveled in your gaze? Bashed in your intelligence? Thought fondly of our conversations? Could truly call you friend?
Do you understand? Why I needed you? Why I had to be seen by you? I wanted everything you could give, I could take and vice versa. But still. As always. I am not enough. A disappointement I might be. A tool for many. I thought I was your friend, Hannibal. Maybe it was for all these things together.
A friend who disappointed and did not become as envisioned so the only option left was to use me like another tool in your favour. And look how well that played out. Ever the genius, Hannibal. When the world has forsaken you, there is nothing left. While I never harmed and you slaughtered, I got caged while you kept pretending and living on the stage that is called life.
And look how the spotlight is set on you.
A life for an act and an act for a life.
The crowd is loving you