Colors are just colors
What's the point
of hiding the rainbow
in a world full of grey?

Toddlers can put green crayons in the freezer without
Anybody questioning them and I
Have a problem with that.
I have a problem with the fact that toddlers can put
Green crayons in the freezer and tell their parents that they are
Preserving
The Earth and that they’ve been learning about
Animal adaptations and conjunctions in school
And that they
Love
Their friends.
I have a problem with the fact that a
Toddler’s idea of
Beauty
Is a butterfly landing on their finger during
Recess, a snowflake on their tongue, the
Grogginess of  staying up past 8:30,
****** snacks, Dora the Explorer,
The satisfaction of scraping the
First chunk out of a tub of butter, the
Giddiness and fear at your first sleepover,
The one where you had to timidly shake your
Friend awake in the middle of the night because you could
Not for the
Life of you find the bathroom.
I’m not ashamed to admit that
I haven’t said I love you in a time that
Lingers like the smell of burning.
It’s always love you or love ya and I’ve
Forgotten what it feels like for those words to
Caress my lips, to guide my heart
Out of its cage into the
Stale air.
I want to be considering beauty like a
Toddler.  I want to be watching Dora and
Learning about conjunctions, but instead I’m
Crying because I can’t fit into my jeans right and I
Don’t know how to do makeup.  I want to say
I love you and let it
Ring in the air like
Frozen music
But I can’t
Because you’re
States away and instead I brush my hair
So many times for people who don’t even like me that
There’s no personality left.
I have a problem with the fact that you
Moved on so quickly and left me with the
Loves me not flower petal and that
Dora the Explorer is not on Netflix
Anymore and the price of Happy Meals goes
Up everyday like the age of my
Heart  
And that
Toddlers can put green crayons in the freezer without
Anybody questioning them and say that
They
Are preserving the Earth.

We may falter we may fall,

                          But if one of us is able to rise

          from the ashes

then others didn't fall at all.



For they live in me and I'm vengeance

                                         watch them all falter.

They will evaporate like rain,
                soaking the earth as they fall.

We may have faltered,
                                       but you fell before
              you thought i'd have fallen but I

like the fallen, we all stand tall...

I’ve memorized the lines
They make me sick
Because I DON’T WANT THIS

I DO NOT WANT THESE PILLS

I DO NOT WANT THESE DRUGS

I DO NOT WANT THESE DOCTORS

I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE


I WANT TO WANT TO LIVE




and instead. I’m reading another bottle
Over
And over


And man..... how all these bottles in my drawer....
They make me wonder........
What would happen......
If... if what they tried to use to fix me.......
If it could end me.....

what purpose do you serve?
what good do you deserve?
you see what’s right before you,
you wont even say a word..
so ill say it,
and if there’s a price to pay
then ill pay it.

The beauty of here
Is not me
Or that you can see
With the exactitude of what is
No, the beauty of here is you
And that you're willing to look at all
At this reflective, moonlit, sea

You mind your steps
   after you've stumbled.
You miss your home
   after you’ve left it.
You value your health
   after you’ve been sick.

But you can’t enjoy life
   after you died.