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Ashlyn Yoshida Jul 2020
Traveling down this
long old road
in a place I haven't been to in years
Traveling far away from my recent past
And although it was loved
I shed not a tear
Just a small essay of 14 paragraphs long
Was enough to confirm what I had thought
I was worthless in their eyes
each and every one
and if I had stayed
I would have just been

a l o n e
Ashlyn Yoshida Jul 2020
I'm a stain.
My life and personality is just a stain
I'm ink across the paper
of society.

I'm red.
I'm always angry at something or someone
And yet I'm always smiling and laughing
along with their insults.

I'm not broken, people just want to erase me.
I'm not supposed to be here, they say.
My type of weird
Is unacceptable to society, they say.

But each one of us is a different color
spread across this paper, no canvas
that is society
each of us a stain, no a streak

A brush of personality no one else can have
Together we are beautiful
and no one is going to tell me
that I'm not beautiful without lying to themselves

and being the same only makes the painting boring
this is all about personality not looks
Ashlyn Yoshida Jun 2020
I can barely lift my head
I haven't eaten a thing today
I was waiting for you to message me
It never happened.
I have permanent consequences from being friends with those people. I had no where else to go...
Ashlyn Yoshida Jun 2020
So I did a few things wrong
So I acted kind of strange
Why tell these things to me
While hiding behind a screen?
Well you were gonna come to my door
You were gonna tell me it there
But oh? Guess what?
I had other places to be.
I wrapped my life around all of you
You mentioned how I acted like the world
revolved around me, but I did
But I wasn't
and now I have to pay
I quit piano lessons
and never joined a club
I ignored Bible Study
Just to talk to you
I waited and I waited
But no one ever came
To say goodbye to me
before I flew away
So instead of saying 'I'll miss you'
You're saying '*******'
And I did everything I could and tried to make you happy
But my past that spilled from my lips
Made you hate me all so much
and the way I was
just ****** you all off more
Sorry for being a **** up
But that doesn't mean
I'm going to **** it all up
I'm sorry to be ******  but recently a friend sent me a hate message for being a person. I feel terrible 'cause some of it's true but really, what a petty *****.
Ashlyn Yoshida Jun 2020
My hair is longer
than before
But lately
I want a little more

so bring the dye
and bring the paste
I'm feeling purple
so hurry before it's too late

'that looks kinda red, Ash'
Ashlyn Yoshida May 2020
In the end I think
the pain was too much to bear
to see such behavior coming from someone so beautiful
to see such hatred towards myself
coming from my own eyes,
eyes as lush and green as a forest canopy
at least that is how you described them back then

but your own eyes,
deep blue pools of loathing
for me
for her
for everyone around you,
they tell me what you truly mean.

That my eyes are dull and ugly
and better off looking in a different direction
and that you don't care what I do anymore
nor did you ever care

As long as no one is by my side
and that I do not exist to anyone other than myself

you will be happy
Most poems I write comes from personal experience if anyone cares to wonder. I don't listen to him anymore.
Ashlyn Yoshida May 2020
There's a world of pain waiting for us outside of that door.

You ready?
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