I want to go to Switzerland.
I want to see the snow and I want to hold you under the covers.
I want to gaze into the fireplace and be warm.
I want to taste your sweet lips as we watch our favorite movies.
I want to giggle with you and see your adorable face.
I want to travel with you to Switzerland.
I want to be yours.

-Lynn

He wanted me to forget everything
and drop the conversation completely-
but I refused.
Now I must face the consequences.

-Lynn

I keep telling myself that I can stop the self harm
but i can't-

I keep finding myself huddled up on the bathroom floor
blade in hand-

so then I ask myself...
Do I even want to stop?

the crimson red liquid pores from my insides
and all of the emotions clawing at my guts as well.
there's this demon in me i have to get out

the demon lives in me

-Lynn

im going to fall asleep
forever..
and dream good dreams

escaping this world is a lot easy
in deep sleep my wishes come true
when im awake reality is foolish .

so i dream a dream
better than this life
and i dream a dream worth dreaming
all while the real world caves in.

its you that my dreams revolve around
its you in which i dream about
and its you in which i dream
a good dream.

-Lynn.

id like to hold you in my arms
everyday all day
same thoughts keep haunting me as im sleeping in my bed
you've got me trapped in a cycle
why don't you join me in this madness?

sometimes i daydream of kissing you
sometimes i daydream of being free from you
for some reason i cant make up my mind
you've got me trapped in this cycle

i know you care for me but sometimes i cant exactly tell
somedays you ignore my mood swings and are speechless
you ignore me in the halls and you act as if i don't even exist
somedays you wave at me and we go on dates and we hug
we enjoy ourselves
yet you've never kissed me
you've told me you want to
i think you're nervous or scared
but of what?

you've told me how much you care for me and you've told me
all of your deepest darkest secrets
the other day you told me your feelings for me have faded
the other day you told me you love me
the other day you told me you cant handle "us"
the other day we laughed and giggled together as a couple
the other day you said you were bored
the other day you blushed as i kissed you
im trapped
we're both trapped

So many people know of my struggles
yet no one has spoken or said anything about it
no one has asked me whether im okay
no one has checked in on me from day to day
no one cares
how could you be so careless??

it's silly actually
the fact that i dont feel sane unless someone else makes me feel
worth it
its kind of silly
how people are terrified of death
why isnt anyone scared for me?

hiding the scars is difficult
i hide them behind watches and bracelets
at school my wrist feels damp
and the sour scent of blood is emitting from it
but still, no one knows
hiding is easy