Everyone sacrificed and worshiped
The multi-purpose portable CPU they purchased
They signed away their lives in cursive
For the cyber sermon's service
And the verses remained wordless
In their distracted eyes they were worthless
And they were shut out into the blackness

I asked, "Why would you let it die?"
I only received uninterested replies
And I saw the truths of the world be denied
By pixelated advertisements and the trendy enterprise
And the masters of war formulate their alibis
While our breaths were taken by the polluted skies
As they became the empyrean of blackness

In the darkness I could hear
A sound so loud and clear
It said, "See no evil here"
"Speak no evil my people dear"
"Hear no evil, the light is near"
But the people only jeered
Then the sound was covered in blackness

In my nightmares there it is
The dark, dismal bleakness
The poems and songs where they should have listened
The times and places that they didn't
The insightful message goes unnoticed
I go weeks sleepless to avoid the terror that it's all hopeless
As my mind fades into blackness

Good bye light, I know you well
And I guess only time can tell
When you will come back and break the spell
Of callus, uncaring sleeper cells
I'll be here with my thoughts until
You return and I can ring the bells
And expel this time of blackness

Unperplexed or confused?
Fire and ice
Rejection and acceptance
***** and *****

Has no grasp of the underlying meaning
As a meager happy tune come from the mouth
And a barrage of bullets disperse from the automatic
A song of love sung in a whisper as the lives of complete strangers are ended

Undertakers in the delivery room
Can never have enough
Already have too much
A cradle and a coffin to set the mood

Time is a manmade tool used to motivate efficiency
A prop for urgency
We need not stress ourselves out
Time is infinite not allotted or allowed

Isn't weird that while in the process of living, you're also in the process of dying?
That as soon you are gifted life you are already marked for death?

Reincarnation?
Heaven?
Hell?
Purgatory?
Another dimension?
Just a dream?
Or is this all on repeat?
Just another story being retold over and over
We all begin with life and end in death
But what we do with the time between the two certainties is what actually counts

This dissertation, written by a double-jointed stunt-double
A sentient being
It must take one to know one
Because he found me immediately
We counted the tally marks
Crushed cornflakes on a Kashmir carpet  
We met a paraplegic paralegal  
Whose views we're, for lack of a better word "perpendicular"
We we're entranced by him
He spoke of integrity and the dangers of toxic relationships
And how the service of justice is only so-so
He was enmeshed by contractual obligations and deadlines
He left us with two last pieces of advice
"Talk to yourself often, for you'll surely know best for yourself"
"Forgive yourself, for forgiveness proves strength and admitting your wrongs shows humility"

The stunt-double wrote his paper on this
And I wrote this poem
This occurrence so rarefied yet malleable
      -Tommy Johnson

I'm the mortician/ grave digger
Embalming your loved ones then putting them six feet under
It's a living working with the dead
But they're not dropping like they used to
And everyone needs a little push

It's nothing personal, it's just business
They're suffering is over
May they rest in peace

Do you want them buried?
Or would rather have them cremated?
Or put in the mausoleum?

It puts bread on the table
Putting them in coffins, may they never be forgotten
Give them a eulogy and a loving summary in the obituary
They were killed and the culprit was never caught
You must be so distraught, I'll set up a beautiful floral arrangement

It's nothing personal, it's just business
Sulfuric acid and a ****** knife
A candle light vigil

Do you want them buried?
Or would rather have them cremated?
Or put in the mausoleum?

Here lies another person who's time was up
Another soul taken by our Lord
They were on they're way out, all I did was merely open the door

It's nothing personal, it's just business

Do you want them buried?
Or would rather have them cremated?
Or put in the mausoleum?

And there it was
A smoke ring blown into my face
And everything became halcyon
My heartbeat became the most profound thing I had ever heard

I wanted to live
I wanted to die
Ascend
Descend into deranged madness

Walk to the noise and fog
The vast shiver of empty Mid-morning delusion
I spoke in a slangue I never heard

My surprised lips
Do the unexpected
Abandon all thought
All modern emotion

I belong here

       -Tommy Johnson

It’s true that time has shown
All the things that I didn’t know
Everything from before
Time has really shown

Time has been kind to me
Making it all easier to see
I’m happy just to be
Times been so kind to me

It's been a long while since then
It’s been a long while since high school
I can’t remember what happened there
Not how or why or who

It’s true that time has shown
Which path I’m going
In what direction I’ve been thrown
It’s true that time has shown

It's true love is blind
Any girl that I will find
I swear I’ll make her mine
It’s true that love is blind

It’s been a long while since those day
It’s been a long while since I met you
So many fond memories
So many recollections to look through

I read the time on my phone
In my basement all alone
In a different time zone
Time for you to come back home

It takes a while for me
It takes a while to get used to
All these changed
But I know, yes I know
What I was do

My mind is out of focus
And my mouth is dry
My eyes are too heavy
'Im so very tired

And my face is blank
My heart is slow
My body is so warm
Then it turns cold

Now my body twitches
My breathing is getting deep
I can't trust my ears
Or images that I see

It seems that I'm here
But my mind is gone
Time seems so short
But feels so long

My system needs a shock
Or a wake up call
When you talk to me
Its like conversing with a wall

Caffeine don’t do a thing
Caffeine won;t do a thing
Caffeine does nothing
Caffeine do something
The sunshine hurts my eyes
My mood is so damp
I'm like a zombie
Try to get up but I can't

Brain drain
Brain drain
Causing me mental pain

Brain drain
Brain drain
My head can't sustain

Brain drain
Brain drain
Everything looks the same

Brain drain
Brain drain
I feel so lame

Brain drain
Brain drain
I can't concentrate
Brain drain
Brain drain
Worn out from this game

Wake me up
Get me up
Keep me up
Give me up

My head begs for endorphins
But I cant oblige
Now I'm feeling down
It weeps and it cries

Keep my head spinning
At every minute of every day
But now I'm running on fumes
You got nothing to say

You got my heart, hold it oh so tight
I go behind your back doing things that ain't so right
Wrap me up in all this drama I wanna leave
I need to take a break I'm almost outta steam

In school I'm barely getting by
Because I'm focused on getting laid and getting high
My mind wandered off
To where it shouldn't have been
So now it has died
And buried with my sins

I wanna go back to normal
Original thought process
Mind and body went to hell and back
All I can do is digress

I had too much fun for way to long
So now my right is left and my left is wrong

I've got all this stress and it piles up
But it's on my shoulders and I can't pass the buck

I find no enjoyment in what I once held dear
Becoming eternally empty is my deepest fear

So lethargic
Victim of calumny
Ruptured appendix
Constantly rebuked
On the pursuit of happiness  
Receiving flack
So pusillanimous
Looking for something cathartic  
Fight with yourself
When your're your own worst enemy
Leaving everyone scratching their heads
And hanging on every word
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
First impressions are my worst impressions
Bad decisions and fallen angels
Pedantic stipulations
Derogatory semantics
Fight with yourself
When your're your own worst enemy
Leaving everyone scratching their heads
And hanging on every word
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
Review the glossary
Check the index
It's a lost cause
The cut throat is fighting
The masked wrestler on a tugboat
They're both wearing Hawaiian shirts
Fight with yourself
When your're your own worst enemy
Leaving everyone scratching their heads
And hanging on every word
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
      -Tommy Johnson

Surrender
Harden yourself
Say "I am priceless" and mean it
Because nothing could be truer

We all wish to be beautiful in the eyes of the beholder
On a **** beach
Unbiased and open minded
Immerse yourself in your own aspects, your assets

Understand that in the grand scheme of things you are your own worst critic
Being spoon -fed and stigmatized
Immeasurable passive-aggressiveness
Assert yourself when you're among the persecuting prosecutors in this co-ed world we live in

Capitalize on your inquisitiveness and wit
Ask more questions
You know you haven't got all the answers
Use your pheromones to your advantage

Trick questions coincide with equivocal answers
Are you a runaway train of person hood?
Going off the tracks?
Going out of your way to be the change you want to see in the world?

One day Frick when to the place to buy some stuff
While Frack stayed in the area to do some things
Frack tossed out some junk
He used the the whatchamacallit to clean the thingamajig
Pick up the odds and ends
And he scrubbed a doodad with the thingamabob


Frick purchesed some knickknacks and bric-a-brac
A few sundries
A couple of tchotkes and trinkets
Some whatnot
A gizmo
A gadget
And more miscellaneous paraphernalia

When Frick got home Frack asked "What'd you buy?"
Frick said " Oh, this and that" "What'd you do all day?"
Frack said "Just a hodgepodge of etcetera, etcetera"
       -Tommy Johnson

You ever think about how shallow some people are?
So shallow that if you stepped in a puddle of them your feet would still be dry
The people who aim to do things, maybe even great things just to impress or gratify someone
To put someone down
To make up for some kind of weakness
To prove others wrong

Those who create this image of themselves that appeases others perception of them

Money
Material things
Cars
Planes
Designer clothes
Gizmos and gadgets

Things that don't mean anything more than a look see to anyone of real depth

You know depth?

To appreciate everything you're lucky enough to have or gain
To understand the little things and the bigger picture
To have been through hardships and learned from them

Empathy
Patience
Passion
Creativity
Selflessness
Respect

Depth

But then, there is something worse than being shallow

Hollow

To be empty of anything

No desires
No pleasure

Just numb hopelessness

The ones who have been hurt and just couldn't get back up
And fill the void with either drugs, things of only monetary value or self-inflected lashings of pity, loathing and mistrust

They look at the ones with depth and see them as idiotic idealists with no direction or any idea what it means to be part of a normal society

They look at the shallow ones and see great figures of wealthy stature
Exciting lives being lead by beautiful elitists

Throw me out of a moving car
After a long night at the bar, come on
Dangle myself out a speeding car
Death is near but I’m too far gone

Let’s have a good time
We can never die
Come on

Get me in to the car
To the moon and past the stars
Come on
Pull away in a stolen car
I forget how did this all start?

Go for a joy ride
This is the good life come on

Once upon a time
Under the moonlight
On a summers night
She was being real shy
And then she took a bite

And her eyes met mine
Were skating on thin ice
We higher than a kite
No such thing as a good bye

Let’s go for a ride
It’s a joy ride
Let’s enjoy tonight
Like it’s the end of our lives
Come on

Consumed by the flames
By the flames

Start the fire, I need you to feel this
As high as it can go, I need to feel it
Light the fire, you want me to feel this
We want to see how high we can go
We want to be consumed by the flames

Take a risk, make a wish
Until then, stay cool
After this, you will never be the same

This isn't right, I close my eyes
Prepare myself for the falling sky
I caused so much harm, I don't know why
I've had my lows, I had my highs
I did my best, now I return
With a clean slate and a lesson learned
I've been mocked, betrayed and scorned
But now I know everything can burn

Consumed by the flames
Take aim
Take blame
Play games
Cause pain
Call names
Make claims

Suppressing feelings, I'm going numb
I can't eat, sleep or see where your coming from
I try to excite myself, lust and near death's never help
I accept death and **** life and the hand I'm dealt
I've ignored the truth, avoided responsibility
But it's in the back of my mind kicking constantly
Now it's time do pay my do's I'm through with tries
I refuse to come back with a consolation prize

Consumed by the flames
Be tamed
Break chains
Disclaim
Proclaim
Insane
No shame

Turn it up, let them watch
Turn me out, I can't be stopped

Nowhere else to go, carrying my woes
Turning into someone I don't even know
Just paying back everything I owe
I've come this far, so

I've come this far

Let the flames consume me
In vain
Fast lane
Life's strain
Constrain
Left brain
Profane

I should have listened
But hear me now

This poem indicates my scatergorized pattern of thought
We are a generation of gas masks and 3D glasses
Now we are a nation of bullet proof vests and USB drives
Grotesque regurgitated shallow sympathy
Universal imagery
I’m no type of Sadducee
In medicated revelry
Mood disorders and bipolarity
Inspiration
Found at the bottom of a decanter from Macedonia
Truculent truths and the opposition of common place thought
Andy why am I so indignant prey tell?
Because
I
Am
Drunk
Ha ha ha

There;s nothing that I wouldn't give to you
And you turn away
Please don’t walk away
No I won't

No I won't
Won't ever lie to you
Trust me when I say
I won't ever walk away
I won't

So selfish
I can't even fathom
Why I love you
Even after everything
You put me through
On a fire I'm standing
To prove to you
That I am not pretending
My love is true

I will do anything that you ask me
Even if it means to go and leave you alone
Baby I'll do it all, just so I can see
That sign that you're happy and make my love shown

This ain't fair
I'm giving you my heart
And you don’t care
I'm falling apart
Shadow of how I used to be
And I still want you
Even after everything
You put me through
And I'm not pretending
That I need you

I will do anything that you ask me
Even if it means to go and leave you alone
Baby I'll do it all, just so I can see
That sign that you're happy and make my love shown

You don’t even ever think about me
If I was dying you'd just leave me alone
The smoke has cleared and I can see
You’re a monster your true colors now exposed

All your lies have been plaguing me
This is my one promise I'll keep
I won't
Now I can feel my whole head spinning
But now I know where I'm going
Detached and so ready
So ready to live

You don’t even ever think about me
If I was dying you'd just leave me alone
The smoke has cleared and I can see
You’re a monster your true colors now exposed

The string on the kite spool is made of doll hair
Mincemeat pies
Someones trying to get my goat
It's the stutterer with a broken nose trying to read aloud

"Ch ch ch choo choo choose yo yo yo your battles"
"A a a and d d d don't le le le let any any any anyone fi fi fi ffff fight them for for for for you"

I'll give it to him, it must of taken a lot for him to muster up enough guts to do that

There was a sign the said "Canebreaks" do they mean sugarcane or a rattle snake? I'm not going to check it out both are bad for my health

Over on the other side of the park is a hot blooded swindler
He's  selling provisions
Tiny morsels of food for outrageous prices
For anyone with a dormant and insatiable appetite and no concept of money
He's bound to find someone who will take him up on his offer sooner or later

Over in the crowd I hear someone asking people to join her in a hostile take over or was it a harsh take down? Either way no one was into it
I'm not too sure she was either come to think of it, probably blowing off some smoke

Under the gazebo I see kids taking something
I guess sweaty foreheads that sheen and quavering ligaments are just modern ingredients to coming of age
But is couch lock necessary?

Now I'm face to face with my fifth grade teacher
She's got tenure now
She's barefoot and has a dour look on her face
I can feel that she's tired of the same day in day out life she lives
But I guess there's no way of knowing for sure

Oh no, someones got a gun
There is always "That Guy"

Everyone runs, scatters
Moms pick up their children and run to their cars with their husbands right behind them

The drunks stumble, bumping into one another

Only when danger is near do you see how nimble and limber people can be

The gunman scales the chain link fence and fires of a few rounds and shouts, "I DON'T GIVE A **** IF THIS DOESN'T FIT THE ALLOTTED TIME SLOT!"
"ALL OUR CUMULATIVE SCORES ARE MISGIVEN AND THOSE WHO HAVE DESECRATED OUR VOWS WILL BE OVER TURNED!"
"IT'S A RACE TO THE OTHER SIDE AND IT'S FIRST TO THE FINISH!"

He put the nose of the gun to his face and pulled the trigger
His brains dangled on the chain link fence

Why did I have to over shoot the turn and wind up at this weird *** picnic/fair/festival/bloodbath thing?

Heaven forsakes
Pry it out
With the jaws of life
Off the handle and on the rag

Off the ***, on the needle
Off the record
On the clock, in the fetal position
Lights off, in the dark
Talking to myself
My Jerry-rigged heart
Jot down the notes
Under attack
And come out on top

I trust you kid
Like a rusty bridge
Was the fight fair or fixed?
It was one sided
Took a dive
Nose dive
The plummet
Sky falling
For a ha' penny

Dish it out if you can take it
Make it from scratch
Get off the fence
Out of the space
Between that rock
And that hard place
Go for broke
It's vintage
It's retro
You're pressed for time
Towel's thrown
Crickets chirp

Water it down
Dumb it down
Put it down
Throw down

Said they were at the park
Stay there and hide
Until the stars filled the sky

The sky is the shelter from our pride
It has found us
We can’t hide

Leave my thoughts aside
And grow my seeds to root
And let them grow sky high

Cultivate and meditate
On everything and define
As your complete being becomes a star in the sky

I feel like God hates me
Or stopped caring
Ceased to provide
Left for good

And now I'm left here to straighten myself out for better or for worse

I've met people who feel the same way
Who surprisingly have the pincushion audacity to put all the blame of their misfortunes in the absence of the omnipotent one  
I just feel abandoned they feel betrayed

Maybe he makes a chump change commission on every life he guides to a certain point then leaves them stark naked at the haunting hour

I know all the preachers and secular teachers lie through their teeth
They win the merit-less hoax award by a landslide
They have no consideration of for the people they mislead or the ramifications their poisoned sermons causes

They use emotionally charged language to increase the parish's numbers
They're terrified of God, they live in fear
And see carpal tunnel as a punishment for ******* and wish blindness upon all those who partake

There is shared consensual hiraeth between those who have been through an invasion of privacy and the trespassing of private property
They want their rights and their guns back
They want their personal space
They retreat to their happy place

Let's go back to the Pantheon of lactose intolerant divine idols
Of epileptic godheads
Who's line of work is about incubated pie pans

Can you make a tutorial that summarizes the resounding reduction of options using nothing but euphemisms?

It's winner take all
For the tile of "Belle of the Ball"
You know the in's and out's
Your familiar with the ropes
No retreat, no surrender
Don't let this siphon your energy
Don't let 'em ruffle your feathers
Bob and weave
Head, body, head, body
Feed it through
Never hand over hand
We're at such a high altitude
There is so fallback
No drawbacks
To getting this off your chest
It's fight or flight
In the moment of truth
So chalk it up to natural selection

My private username  is in the Public Domain

I guess I'm too headstrong for all the bubble bursters

Placate my phosphorous soul
I'm sorry for my outburst
I'm an oddball

Inconceivable
What am I to do with these overdone and overdue Blockbuster tapes I have just finished over viewing?

I contrive white elephants for all those who tip the scales
Whose guesses are as good as mine as to how some make time to fold a thousand origami cranes

I've been beaten with broomsticks and Plexiglas riot shields
Because I was looking for the middle way between indulgence and denial

But rest assured, the glum lobbyist is going to counter balance the dumbwaiter
As the elevator operator takes the escalator because he's all about time management

When I was young I could see people's guardian angels and auras
But now the angels are gone and only the auras remain

"I hate my life and all the choices I'v mad that have brought me here"

Downing whiskey that isn’t mine
The bottle’s owners’  
angry gives me a black eye
Crack it over his head now it’s a fight
You got to admit it’s a funny sight


Lost my papers, roll a blunt
Don’t call the cops you stupid ****
You can try it all you want
But you can never control us

Pound one down
Light one up
Take a tab
Now it’s time, time for the 2nd round

Acid, molly and some bud
Certain things we use for fun
Looking for kicks, thrills and shocks
Maybe we’ll get laid with some luck

Pound one down
Light one up
Take a tab
Now it’s time, time for the 3rd round
There’s an ******* rave in my head
I’m hallucinating again
I can feel my heart race
As I watch angels fornicate

Full of loathing and the fear
There’s something not quite right in here
There’s demons devouring little kids
Let’s go again

Pound one down
Light one up
Take a tab
Now it’s time, time for the 4th round

Shoot another Everclear down
We can do this coke I just found
Puke all over your girl’s night gown
Then wake up .up on the cold hard ground

Pound one down
Light one up
Take a tab
Now it’s time, time for the final round

The doctor is in but refuses to see you
Now hush
We've reached an impasse
We're all sedated
We're all mutated candidates
Subject to friendly fire
The pick of the litter is devouring the runt
Buzzard food
Shush
This is a stalemate
Please excuse me
We have conflicting schedules
Pilgrims and dive bombers
Settlers free all the animals from the zoo
And keep the castrated guests at bay
We all cheer giddy while the stunt double gets dismembered
We're all in a frenzy because she can walk through walls
We're all impressed and floored with her rainbow credentials
The jury is out

I'm your dark reflection
Hear the people singing

Fighters, lovers
Lonely women on they'r own in the cool spring time air

Look me in the eye

In this mirror will you see me
Deteriorating?

Come miss, let's go outside and go for a walk

Golden sunshine, starry night time
Afternoon rush hour, it is crunch time

I am doubtful next to my boyfriend
Walk me to The Grand Canyon
Where my secrets can fill it's spaces

Salads with dressings of kings
Licorice candy, water of plenty
Sleep in my bed he said to the sightseer
Calling her attention to his desires

I'm leaving now
You are to forceful
My body is temple
It's not yours it is mine

Give me your goose
Your golden egg laying goose
I'm down on my luck
And need a karat or two

Walking the highway
All by myself
I am in transit
There are no pit stops

Look in the mirror
Lady of fortune
I am what you see
But not what you are

He sat down at his desk
With his face buried deep into it
His sweatshirt road his broadened shoulders
Something about this guy interested me
He was new, fresh slate at a new school

We exchanged hellos
We exchanged names
I threw out an invite to chill
And he politely and happily accepted

There was something odd about him
In a good way
Offbeat
Offbeat boy
I gave him a nickname because his real name was to plain for him

I introduced him to my circle and they didn’t like him at first
But over time they became as thick as thieve
We all were
New bonds were made
Bridges built and doors opened

The things he would say
So random
So off base
So hilariously out of place
I loved it
I always looked forward to what he was going to say next

He was a true friend
There was no lying, no evil in him
He was pure, a pure person

He loved nature
His love was Mother Earth
Shedding at tear at environmental ignorance

He was socially awkward
He couldn’t talk to girls, or anyone that wasn’t one of us
He would get into fight we would have to talk him out of
The confusion he gave to the teachers and frustration he gave to the entire student body
He didn’t know any better

Writing a funny speech about what he would do if he was voted for class president
Then having it being taken as a threat against the school thus getting him suspended and having the police search his house for weapons

The complete disbelief of his guidance councilors
And the flabbergasted administrators were all gut busting comedies to us

As we approached graduation news of him going into the navy came about

And we were all in disbelief
But it was true
A boy who couldn’t life a five pound dumbbell was going to serve our country

Good for him

Even now I can recall our adventures up to that point
Staying out late and wandering the streets in the middle of a cold winter night
Cat calling at the mall, trying to pick up girls
Breaking things
Invading private properties
Avoiding police entanglements
Detentions
Suspensions
So many laughs
So many memories

When he left it was as if the once bright aluminous room we all shared was a little bit dimmer
But we were full of pride
We knew he would shine on else where

From Michigan to Texas to California for boot camp and training he went
Our friend went on a journey, his own journey

One year later, we all await his return

He is back, oh the change is overwhelming
He shines brighter, he’s witty
He’s mature, bold and confident

He’s become a man, he found himself

He has claimed his long sought after love

The one who has been walking a difficult path and strides in beauty

He made passionate love to her last night
He woke up from her house and came to mine at 5 AM

I awoke to find him sipping coffee in my kitchen; he had a smile in his heart that was bigger than the stupid grin on my face
I sat and talked to him, chugged my coffee and got dressed

No we were going on another adventure, two weeks
Two weeks with him was all I have
Then he’s being deployed for two years
He speaks of oncoming war with Syria and North Korea
His views have changed
He believes in war
My, my I’m astonished
This is my friend?
The awkward, soft spoken dude in my history class?
Now I wait to see what happens next
With one of my dearest friend, Chives

Get on with your lifelong crisis
But know the difference between response and reaction
It's all too familiar
Paper covers rock
Rock smashes scissors
Scissors cuts paper
Mask your bad breath
And get rid of that embarrassing screen name
You've served your time to society
Now go search for that cat with the vast collection of tongues
Reanimate the dead and beaten horse
But don't let yourself get bullied or get thrown under the bus
Stand up and use your great stoicism  
Use that pulley powered propulsion system you call a mind

He sure is a chip off the old block
Knock his block off
Knock it right out of the park
Into the china shop, breaking everything
Blame the bull

Your'e a man of few words
More power to you
Needless to say
Let’s talk turkey

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch
Just fly the coop
It’s for the birds
And there’s a fox in the hen house
Feast or famine

A fine kettle of fish
And a can of worms
On a dark and stormy night
But as luck would have it
A penny save is a penny earned
Play with fire, you’ll get burned

Give me a ball park figure
Go against all odds
Because I've got an ace in the hole
And another up my sleeve

She’s rolling over in her grave
You must have been rubbing her the wrong way
Time and time again
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back

I’m scared out of my wits and I’m at the end of them
Sweating the bullets used to shoot the breeze
Time is of the essence
And you’re going slower than molasses in January

You take all the leaps and bound
And always land on your feet
Into the lap of luxury
Making the best of a bad situation

I ordered a slice of humble pie
And all I got was a knuckle sandwich
With an apple everyday
And hefty doctor bills I had to pay

Life’s a *****
It’s a grind
It’s a game
It’s a gamble
Live and learn
Live and let live
Let the good times roll
But look before you leap
That’s the long and short of it

Every dog has its day
Its fifteen minutes of fame
Barking up the wrong tree
And chasing its tail

The meeting of the minds is taking place in a booth in the back corner or the pub with those beer nuts you like so much

The Cheapskate
The Peddler
The Chiseler
The Swindler
And The Big Shot

Originally it was supposed to just me the Big Shot and the Peddler
Then the Chiseler squirmed his way into the scheme
Since three was already a crowd no one protested to the company of the Swindler and The Cheapskate

"Around of scotch for my homies!" says The Big Shot to the barmaid
The Cheapskate turned pale and whispers into The Big Shot's ear

"Four scotches and a tap water!" The Big Shot called out

The last time these five character went in on something together it turned into a huge power struggle

The Big Shot got too big for his britches
The Swindler tampered with the numbers
As he and The Chiseler blamed the blame game
While the Peddler was managing the tensions and just trying to get all he could off his hands
And the Cheapskate putting as little as he could in to get as much as he could out of the whole thing

Those were their salad days
Wheeling and dealing
What a shame they never came out clean
At all
Such a shame

But this time they will not repeat the trauma
They're in it to win it
The sweepstakes scam of the century
The feel good moment

They all knew none of them got along
But they had to get on with it

The plan was intricate
First the Chiseler would take every love letter intended for a physicist
Then rewrite in as a hate note
Upon reading the phony expression of disdain
The physicist would dive into his work to get his mind off it
And develop his studies of String Theory

Then The Swindler would buy the theory from the broken hearted egghead with the money The Peddler made from selling the spinning squares that make a dizzying circle he got at wholesale from his guy in Cairo

The Cheapskate would then gather a few undesirables from the abandoned paper factory and have them ransack The Physicist's lover's house and hold at gun point to have her cough up a few of her ***** little secrets which include the fact she had been sleeping with The Big Shot

The Big Shot would at that point step in and end things with the Physicist's Lover and tell her it was because she could even protect the material things she owned
Which made him question if she could guard and protect his heart

So The five masterminds would have the rights and royalties to The Physicist's String Theory, his lover's every last belonging, The Peddler's wacko drugs and his connection and a few of The Lover's unmentionables
Plus the Big Shot gets to get laid

Not bad for five guys who couldn't get along

And not a single cop out or snide remark thrown

Thusly it was agreed upon with a five-way spit hand shake that if anything would happen that could incriminate any of them, The Swindler would answer for everything with his feet on the ground
Because the Chiseler had Plan B which involved a jailbreak

Is life imitating art or is art imitating life?
Eventually there will be nothing left to hide
Save your sorrys  
It's time for me to cool your mind and tell you it's all alright
We're the pop-up's on your phone screen
Sending you little blurbs
Memes are funny because they're true
At least to you
You're the hypochondriacs
Who convinced yourselves you need to be healed
With a numbness cure by posts that make you feel

There will be a new one, if you like the last
Is life imitating art or is art imitating life?
Eventually there will be no where left to hide
Save your sorrys  
It's time for me to cool your mind and tell you it's all alright
This is a beat generation
But with less respect but way more dope
The question is "why should I?"
Our answer is always "I don't know"
We're yesterdays news and tomorrows punchline
Never even had chance
Self-entitlement won't ease the situation
Of our need for instant gratification

I need a drink in my system to take off the edge
I need a lie to make me feel safe
I have an axe in my skull splitting my brain
Is it me or the world who's insane?
Upload, like, follow
Reblog, comment, unfollow
What's hot is hot now but not tomorrow
Will your words hold up or drop out?
       -Tommy Johnson

Eyes hidden
Riddled with pain
Fiddling with your hands
Tell the truth

I turn and look at you
And I speak my peace, urging you to leave all you secondary notions at the door
Patiently waiting at the turn style for some one who I know will never show up
Because he is already here
He is me
He is everyone
A genius

Another futuristic constructuralist
Studying equations
Where the answers lies in eternal joy
The difficulty to burn and the ease to understand

Only separated by patience and time
Overthrown and renewed
Refurbished
Barking dogs crafted from jade kissing your palms, bursting through parlor doors smoking on a long stemmed pipe
Writing in blood with a raven-wood quill

And a distraught agonizing yelp echoes in the library
Denouncing the existence of love
Brining what is mistaken as such to surface
Gain, satisfaction, self esteem and companionship
Love is up for redefinition

Bargains and betrayal
Vacations in plains never explored
Taking trains filled with ridiculous faces
Stark raving madness with clarity
Disapproval of sonnets of old that now in the new age are no longer suitable for the forward thinking minds
Necessary brashness
Eminent affection
Everlasting adoration of the suns embrace

I nominate the *** that's been brought to a boil
Our plans fell through
And we're about to go under the knife

Rise and shine
Like peas and carrots
Like loaded dice and the counting of cards

Aw, you beat me to the punch
You are not some run of the mill curator
With a reduction in pay, you know your stuff

I blame my dichotomous thinking

Some drugs you can smoke
Yeah gimme a kiss
Shes the drug for me
This is some good ****
When I see you I get so baked
When I feel you I get so ******
Everyone's saying "quit"
But no, no I won't

Come on, come on show me those dazzling eyes
You know your touch makes me lose my mind
Yeah she gives me a such, such a
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high

Forget my own name when I'm with you
Loose my motor skills, need another hit or maybe two
Think I'm an addict oh well it's all good
Shoot you up every day yeah, I wish I could

Come on, come on show me those dazzling eyes
You know your touch makes me lose my mind
Yeah she gives me a such, such a
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high
Contact high

Paved ways avoid us
Harsh waves knock us down
Don’t throw away
Our final say
Let’s keep this thing going
And turn it around

The blind are leading the blind
And there all trapped in a maze
The jesters high pitch cackle
The explorer’s barren satchel
No one ever wins
We ponder and sit

The walls cave in around us
And we all count the hours
When were away from home
No one’s amused
Nothing to say, we're bemused
We are together alone

I exist in between the right and wrong, bringing meaning by any means
I want to know, do and be anything and everything
The doubters sneers do mean anything
And this going to be my battle cry

I'm using my full capabilities
Demonstrating my innate abilities
Pushing for power and possibilities
This is quality creativity
No child left behind, look where that's got us so far
Either unemployed, in debt or behind bars
So now we got nothing to lose
Blurred lines between accusers and the accused
One side speaks their minds
The others pour out their hearts
The fight, the fighting needs to stop
Arguing who deserves to be on top
I retire my title, my skin tone and my status
I lay back and wait for the world to find balance
I'm using my full capabilities
Demonstrating my innate abilities
Pushing for power and possibilities
This is quality creativity
The responsibility falls on us individually
       -Tommy Johnson
      

We all have some potential
To make something good or detrimental
We have determination to face adversity
And do it so brilliantly
Narrow minded "practical thoughts"
The look at us and think we're lost
I am the voice and face of wayward youths
And everything I do is the proof
I got gems locked away in my mind
I try to express them with what words I can find
But no words can express or do them justice
The actions of this generation must be trusted
All we have is time and energy
So lets make this the world what we want it to be

I'm using my full capabilities
Demonstrating my innate abilities
Pushing for power and possibilities
This is quality creativity

I will not bow, I will not cower
I will not bend to your struggle to power
Using your authority, throwing around your sense of supremacy
With your vicious tendencies harming those under your relentlessly
But I'm one hundred percent sure that we can all agree
That the games make us play are just a fantasy
And we refuse to accept you fallacy, with out sensibility
We leave our enemies and head off to our destinies
I know all the hardships I must endure
But if I stay true and pure
I'll get what I came here for
And gain control and end my eternal war

A lovely rebirth
Quietly inhale, slowly exhale
Time will tell
I am a being with many faces

The slaves of their passion built this pyramid
But now there’s no sign of civilization
But ancient artifact have been found
The great migration to the underground

I look at the hieroglyphics on the wall
It’s an epic story oh I’ve seen it all
This place was taken by industry
Powered by fame and the illusion of money

They perverted the artist’s proud, heartfelt ways
Forced the true artists out for the ones who stayed
They create things that sound the same to us
Dropped their talent sold their souls to business

Lost their land to a cult of executives
So now they put out songs without messages
There puppets without any ideals
But it’s amazing for album sales

They were tempted by the glorious pop charts
Every follower goes by the formula
Produce garbage without connection
With no real emotion or expression

Their distorted auto tuned emptiness
All to be on TV and in magazines
Want exposure to be recognized
Their careers won’t fade they were never alive

This place *****, robbed lied to n even forgotten
The ones who stayed chained to the corporation
Not for the sake of art but for the money
Lack of feeling and effort plain to see

The slaves of their passion built this pyramid
But now there’s no sign of civilization
But ancient artifact have been found
The great migration to the underground

Can’t understand what their saying
Fan base is alienated
Rather be an icon than a star
The space between performer and audience grows more and more

So the true artists have left n disappeared
They’ve been out of sight for many many years
There somewhere where you don’t need to be in style
Might not find them at the left of the dial

No they don’t care about TV or radio
They just want to make something with all their soul
They are all now opposed to the fame
Crossing their fingers it won’t be the next craze

But today we still have the artifacts
Amazing and impressive sounds of the past
Better than the sell outs we all know
Talent, determination, originality flow

The slaves of their passion built this pyramid
But now there’s no sign of civilization
But ancient artifact have been found
The great migration to the underground

Someone poisoned the main stream
So now it’s the same to me
Did I read the hieroglyphics wrong I don’t know?
But it was the rise, fall and return of rock n roll

My finger's on the fritz
On your door step, ding **** ditch
In that frame of mind during that time frame
Spewing gibberish
Sirens blare
Attention ****** with ulterior motives
Pick up the gauntlet
Surpass the bar raisers that got too big for their britches
Face the predicament with courage
Trot through the bible belt
Sort out the sugar coated *******
That right state of mind and the right time period
Attached at the hip
Tip top, ship shape
I see all the old tricks in the book
I smile and put it back on the shelf
I got a new one, don't look
For my eyes only, keeping this for myself
Withheld from the industrial fans, investors, blood ******* insects
At a loss for words
What you see is what you get
You get what you get and you don't get upset
But give what you get
So get going
With your selective hearing
And your selective memory
Do it for the down trodden
Don't settle for the consolation prize
Drum roll please
      -Tommy Johnson

I’ve been to the west
I’ve been up north
I’ve seen the best
I’ve survived the worst

I’ve had nothing and I had it all
The cost of living, just something I can’t afford

I’m saving
Loose change
I’m saving

The checks I cash
The weeks I fast
Collection baskets passed
Oh how long will this time of strain last?

I’ve traveled to the east
I’ve driven down south
And its saying the very least
When I say I’m down and out

I’m saving
I’ll rearrange
I’m saving

The choice I make
The risk I take
It’s make or break
Life is no fun without gambling with high stakes

It's ready
It's in transit
Surfacing subconsciousness
Poring out light
Beast of potency
A beast
Look at it in the eyes
Look at it
If it smells reluctance it will tear you face off in an instant
If you look at it dead on with no hesitation or second thought
It will show you the way through the murky forests of emeralds
To the bridge
To the cross roads of existence
Follow the coyote
Until time and space have concluded

Blood, water and sand
All records of time
Of people
Cosmic events
All just a distant future's memories

Widen your view
Watch the Coyote make it's presence known
It's four million years old and still young
One ear straight, the other bent; with a crafty grin connecting the two
Twenty-one centuries, dangerous

To carry some ones baggage on your back
Along with your own

Carry their baggage while at the same time attempting to reduce the weight of it

Carry it from one end of the Earth to the other

Carry their heart as well
And guard it as if it was yours

Carry on

I got one!
Bring meaning to the meaningless
Excess is the American way
And to that I salute
The senselessness
Keeps the infinite far
Too far for us to obtain

Make me
Tase me
Take me away
Cuff me
Love me
Shut me out

Your gun and badge do not make you more than us

Symbol of conformity
And self denial
To go through the gates
To the other side

And for that I send you my condolences

Lock me in a prison
I’ll get out in time
I’ll be free where it counts
In my heart and my mind
While you’re locked outside

Telling me
Giving me orders
On how to act
On how to be

Am I out of control?
Yes
Okay, just checking
Alright, good

Once you’re out of the control
Of others
You learn to control yourself

Right and wrong
Yin and yang
Passion and rationale
Decline and growth

Utilize the practices and maneuvers developed in Hell
Watch the coherence of the corroded coercion
A little birdy told you to ignore the tingly feeling on the nape of your neck
And to use a little elbow grease to try and heal this place of its discord
The leave posthaste
Or so I've heard

Years have passed now a mountebank calls all those who suffer from foot-in-mouth issues, racing minds, unjoggable memories and anyone who's psychiatrist couldn't shrink their problems
"Come one, come all! Try the new elixir that with one taste all your worries, all your hardships, all your dreadful  nightmares incarnate will vanish in an instant!"

A large crowd made up of rogues, shot messengers, plate scrapers, date rapers accused of buggery, banished bums and exiled urchins, frail victims of nit picking and guileful gimmicks now surround the platform and end table stacked with tiny bottles of cloudy liquid

"It will help you pass a drug test, prevent you from waking up on the wrong side of the bed and you'll be able to recite the alphabet backwards!"
"Yes! You heard it here first, Doctor Meerkatt's Magic Elevating Elixir!"
"Now in a variety of four fruity flavors"
And coming soon, Dr. Meerkatt's Fast-acting Magic Elevating Elixir!"

Lines form
One for those who wish to take their's home and drink it
One for those desirous for mainline vaccinations
I go on neither line, I'm not susceptible to theses types of things
But I could be if given enough grief and desperation  

I've seen this act before
I've seen all the mind readers
All the fortunetellers
All the traveling sales people
Who collectively have the same goal
To attempt to sell some product or idea that seems worthwhile but in reality is nothing more than a cheap farce that you pay for with your milk money and your intelligence

I'll leave these scavenger hunts for trinkets of cures and hopes for the naive ones and the thoughtless adrenaline junkies who's minds will be abducted by some quack or prevaricator and their ignorant rants
Their "ignor-rants"

It just pains me to see you be a part of all this, my old friend
You were once a caring, cautious person
Now you're an abstract con artist
Now you're just Dr. Meerkatt

I lay here feeling warm and a bit sickly
Bringing myself back to where I belong
In front of a piece of digital papyrus and my fingers caressing the keys
And creating life in forms of fiction and nonfictional word play
Writing of things I’ve seen, things I’ve done
People I know people who have touched my life in one way or another
Persons who have decided to leave my life
Ah let them go to live their own
All is well
And I have learned that now
I say good bye to the one who made me experience love for the first time
I say good bye to the one who makes callous remarks to ones he held dear
I say goodbye to the one who acted as superior as they wished they were
I say goodbye to the new born youth and wish them luck and my the spirit of life carry you
I say good bye to the one whose time I wasted and to them I give an apology as deep as my insecurities for I wish I was stronger to confront them when you were around but at least now you know what makes you happy
I say hello to the one who is in the pit of despair as I was but only 2 years ago
I say hello to the one who is in a moral quandary not unlike mine all those summers ago
And I say hello to the one next door whose footsteps remain to be right behind mine, my dear friend I love you and I shall help you, all of you for you would and have done the same for me
And I fall to my knees and bow my head onto the gritty ground in praise of the radiant beauty of the soul that has picked me up and taken me to what seems to be the realm of relief
Words cannot express the thanks and worship I have for you
I say good morning to the one who brings out the human in me
I make lunch for the one who feeds my heart with love so pure and true
I will take you where ever you want; you want to be with me
That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard
No wait that is your voice so sweet and honest it’s like the blast from the shiny brass trumpet in a jazz jam
Oh, my life has been renewed
My life has changed
Yet again but it has never stopped
Nor shall I
I will continue to grow and learn and unavoidably get hurt along the way
I had what I thought was the most important thing in the universe taken away and completely and utterly destroyed
I lost my faith, faith in it, faith in myself, and faith in others
Until I saw that nothing had changed I was just facing the wrong way and not listening to my inner self
I am now back on the right track and I will fight to make sure nothing derails me

Where's the exit?
Mass hysteria
Can't catch my breath
They steal my everything
The white collared robbers
Pick pockets and crackpot cobblers

Settle down
It's just a ruse
Nothing is ever meant to be
No such thing as destiny
Except that when the sun sets, the moon will rise
But that's just a maybe

Up to an altitudinous gate I travel
With nothing on my back
They look down from above and allow me to pass
Behind the gate I see free spirits with no possessions
No beliefs but many flexible ideas
We have all gathered here on our own account

       -Tommy Johnson

Life charges at you
So hold still and embrace it
When it makes contact
It is what it is

Look at it sideways
Look straight on
Don’t be scared, look from another glass
It’s all perception

All alone in the quiet den
The winter’s kiss caresses my face
One of the lucky ones
For this moment I’m blessed

How did it get this bad?
I hope I do not make my home in those feelings
Trapped in an emotional enigma

I recall sitting there
With the angels smiling at me
The candles we’re all lit
And I felt safe, I felt sane

Because it was grand
I was told it was magic
There was no question
It was still the beginning

Nervously lighting another cigarette
My hands twitching and my head spinning
I look back at my trips to the city
With my first love, holding hands walking all over the island of Manhattan
Wearing my leather jacket, hoody and skull cap
Then, to my current love walking side by side holding doubt in one hand and self loathing in the other
She’s so good to me so why do I do the things I do?
I am a *****
I am a pig
I am a liar
A hypocrite
And a user
Or am I just dishonest to myself?
No not just to myself but to everyone
We walk through the Village with Scott and Tony
Laughing and seeing the street art
Drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes
Looking for the next stop of our interest
I think of the girl I’m seeing behind the curtains
Do I want her? She’s unsure as I am
Asking herself if she wants me
I don’t want me
I’ll do the same to her as I did to the others
I'll lie and build obelisks of false love stories
I was a believer in love
One and only one soul mate
But the pain changed that
Now I believe in making it work
But also free love
Or am I just a bitter ****?
I don’t know
She tells me she doesn't feel special
I don’t show her off like the one before her
It’s me not her
She gives me love, honesty good times
Social networks all blocked
No contact
Secret meetings and deleted conversations
I hide my tragic impulses
Everyone knows but not really, not at all
I kissed a man two nights ago, he wants me too
But I’m just looking for a good time
Am I just young and reckless?
Or am I stupid and remorseless
No, I’m not remorseless
I wouldn't be writing this of I wasn't
Then again this situation is just another trial
Another error, a tribulation
One step closer to finding out my limits and who I really am
If I leave her I am no better than then girl who left me
A drunken decision
A painful incision in the capillary of lust
The roads are blocked, good
I can’t make a decision without them being aware of the bigger picture
I bide my time
Time
Time heals all wounds but the scared are there until forever
My stomach is in knots 24/ 7
Constipated with guilt and indecision
I ask god, Buddha, Shiva, Jesus, Mohammed, the Greek gods, the Egyptian gods, for the answer
What do I do?
What do I fix?
How can I change?
I’m tired of crying like a little boy with a scraped knee
I need to be honest with myself
They both mean nothing but they want me
I need to find a person that means something more than just a place to stick my ****
I stick my **** in other people’s lives and **** it all up
I’m a monster, a ***** devil
I’m emotionally detached I see it now; I need to find my way back to the belief I once treasured and respected
It's all on me
But I don’t know what or who I want
I must find the pedestal and place someone up there
Or do I?
Do I really need someone right now?
Is it time?
I don’t know?
Should I just be alone with no attachments and go on doing what I’m doing?
No, that’s not solving anything
If I’m going to be alone I’m going to be alone and not look but be looked for
I don’t know why these people are in my life
I put them there
I built the rickety bridges
And what of Kathleen?
Just sending out more lies just to get my rocks off
Nope not going down that road stopping that right here
And what of Mary? Nope not doing that either
I’m learning
But now I have two
I used to have none and that made me want everything
Now I have too much and I wish I could throw it all away
Maybe the gods sent me this to make me happy maybe I should enjoy the luxury of having people wanting me
Or maybe it’s a test to see if I deserve to find the one and only, if they exist that is
In the subway I see a girl checking me out smiling; I smile back with my girlfriend next to me
I’m disgusting
I cheated on my first love seven times and never told her, she cheated on me once and confessed and left me, karma
I deserved the pain I brought it on myself
Whoever I choose I will not cheat ever again, but who do I choose?
I need more time
So I’ll take it, I'll fake it then make it or break it
Or do I chose myself and negate everything
American spirit takes me away
Back to Manhattan
The glitz the glamour, the icy winds tearing at our faces
We wait for the 167 to take us home
I can’t sleep I text the new girl and ask many questions to get to know her better to make my decision easier, it does not help
The fact that I do that just proves my weakness
I will wind up with neither I know it
The decision that the one before had to make is now before me
I feel as though I need to choose the one I’m with to do the right thing, but what is right?
What’s right for me?
Marijuana clogs my process so I won’t partake in its consumption until the decisions made and maybe not even after
Who am I kidding?
I will

Take a good look into the mirror
Take a dive into your inner-self
Then gaze at the world around you
A chance to make yourself just that much better

Enter
And feed this ego with attention
Served on a platinum platter

See it gobble up the compliments
Dependence of acceptance

Its hunger is actually insecurity
Its napkin has the words "I know" embroidered on it

Now watch it choke on one single critique
Its eyes tear up and the face turns blue

One small criticism has brought x's into the eyes of this ego
What a pity