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Jun 2016 · 767
Forbidden Caress of Fear
Tommy Johnson Jun 2016
The inception of a thought comes from perception
From the desire to create and express
Excitement
The purity is soiled by those who construct labels and boundaries
Causing mental spasms and aborted concepts

The years turn to months
Month turn to days
Days to hours
Hours to minutes
Minutes to seconds
Up until the split moment comes
Always moving forward
Framing your life, organizing it
You can look back but never go back
Death is unavoidable  
Progress is natural
Distractions must be ignored
And value must be found
Time is all we have, some have more than others
How we spend and how we waste it is what matters most
But if we so chose to be on the clock for ever are we getting the most we can out of this all?
Beginnings and ends, there must be more

Maybe the answer is as simple as inhale and exhale
Give and take
The bond between opposites that blend and create a balance
Is that what we call love?
Do we look for love out of fear?
Or out of loneliness?
Is it still love then or just something to keep us afloat as we drift?
Selfishness stalls the answer
In the end its definition varies from one being to another
But it should never be held over your head and demand your compliance
Threatening you with cruelty, that is not love

In reality
There are unanswered questions and unquestioned answers
Identity
Faith
Numbers don't lie apparently
And finding yourself is of the utmost importance
While maintaining enjoyment  through it all
Until you discover it's all false
And your self image
Your ego dies

You begin to separate yourself from the template
You find sense and logic in your self
In your experiences of trial and error
Reminders chime in every now and again
To help you sort through the nonsense
You become sharp, becoming less self-destructive
You know certain truths

Sacrifices are made
Dreams and denial
There are victims
There are those who run to the safety of monotony
And those who meet their cataclysmic ends prematurely
All in search for what we all want to know
Why?
Simple as that
Why does this life operate as it does?
What does it mean?
And who, if anyone can tell us?

Will it all be okay in the next life?
Or once we get there, will we wish to look to the last?
This is projected on to us through out our lineage
But only so far

Feb 2016 · 730
The Root of All Goodness
Tommy Johnson Feb 2016
Praise is near
I can see it out of the corner of my eye
It comes with a new dawn
Nothing is built to last
Empires fall and civilizations crumble
All I can do is wash my hands and hope this fight can be won
Through all the sacrifice
It's been a long time coming
The odds are stacked out of favor
But I will push, fearless and uncompromised

This is what all of the writings in the bathroom stalls were philosophizing
It's endured the pain that every soul out there has known
You can feel it as your heart pounds
It lives in the things we can't let go of that we use to fuel our fury
It sleeps in our memories and cringe worthy heartbreaks  
You live and learn

From the beginning of time with human kind in the womb
To the end of all being whispering its final words
It guides the ones who refuse to follow the predetermined paths
The ones who never had a chance
It's in all of us, believe it to keep it alive

Never give up in the face of doubt or ignorance
You've made it this far, you've become stronger
Revisit the time when you were knocked down
Forgive all the letdowns and never forget your promise to yourself
That you'll establish your name with every ounce of strength

Strike up the flame that kills every shadow
That glows with unconditional love
That one that creates the passion for life
Jan 2016 · 879
Precursor
Tommy Johnson Jan 2016
Hello
This is my doing
I guess you want me to answer for it
I will if I feel like it

Some say we all have the same sense of aimlessness
And we're preyed on by the leech behind the curtain

But I think we've gotten passed that
That could be my inner mantra mixed with ***** talking though

Turning my back to the confusion only to find that meaning has already found me
I look at the leaders, they only can make educated guesses
And we'll all know if they did the right thing years from now

I've never put my name in the hat for consideration
But I know I'll still get called when my turn comes

They can touch me and I can't deny what I've said or done
But they'll never lay a hand on the ideals and truths that are in each of us
I'm beyond grateful for knowing this

I may become old
I may become ill
I may starve and die but my creations will go on for eternity
Moments of pleasure
Moments of purity

I won't name names or cast stones
I won't chase paper or fall to my knees for guaranteed safety
That's why I'm here, legs crossed and mind silent
Spirit centered and flowing free

My adoration for the underdogs and stray cats
My respect for honesty and curiosity for experimentation
Have taught me invaluable lessons

Just give me a shot, I know I can make a difference
I can see both sides of the fence
I can see between the lines of supply and demand
I can see the blinks between life and death

There aren't many of us but there are more than before
Hopeful
Pushing for unity and looking for our face, our voice
We have our suspicions
But more than that we have love
Oct 2015 · 554
Hands-on
Tommy Johnson Oct 2015
I can't deny  as to why I'm such a fool
Apologies are no good here and neither am I
You try so hard, always going out of your way
And now you ask yourself why

They all said you we're to good for me
They all said I wasn't good enough for you
We're both in each other's face yelling
Our eyes meet and yous say "you should **** yourself"
I would if I could, I know I should
But it's just another thing I'd mess up
I  wish I had the strength to do it  
I'm just a slacker with no attention span

Get rid of me, cut your losses
You don't need dead weight
I'm toxic, I'm poison
I'm the one you hate

Hold your tongue, don't lose your patience
It's not your job to try and save me
I'm sorry that I'm so helpless
I can't ask for your help it'd be so selfish

       -Tommy Johnson

I would if I could, I know I should
But it's just another thing I'd mess up
I  wish I had the strength to do it  
I'm just a slacker with no attention span
Oct 2015 · 694
Comedown
Tommy Johnson Oct 2015
Is life imitating art or is art imitating life?
Eventually there will be nothing left to hide
Save your sorrys  
It's time for me to cool your mind and tell you it's all alright
We're the pop-up's on your phone screen
Sending you little blurbs
Memes are funny because they're true
At least to you
You're the hypochondriacs
Who convinced yourselves you need to be healed
With a numbness cure by posts that make you feel

There will be a new one, if you like the last
Is life imitating art or is art imitating life?
Eventually there will be no where left to hide
Save your sorrys  
It's time for me to cool your mind and tell you it's all alright
This is a beat generation
But with less respect but way more dope
The question is "why should I?"
Our answer is always "I don't know"
We're yesterdays news and tomorrows punchline
Never even had chance
Self-entitlement won't ease the situation
Of our need for instant gratification

I need a drink in my system to take off the edge
I need a lie to make me feel safe
I have an axe in my skull splitting my brain
Is it me or the world who's insane?
Upload, like, follow
Reblog, comment, unfollow
What's hot is hot now but not tomorrow
Will your words hold up or drop out?
       -Tommy Johnson
Oct 2015 · 619
Untitled
Tommy Johnson Oct 2015
Betrayal on both accounts
We are pent up aggression  with no where to go
Look at what we've done not what we haven't
It was all a shot in the dark
Acceptance and a fresh start was the mark
We are all in remission
Have no idea if we got it in us

I can't make out the message
To you truths are nothing but your lies are so precious
But it's our credibility being questioned
Put on an act for moments at a time
Clenched fists and gritted teeth
Tired eyes look at them then in the mirror and fill with tears

Wish my therapist and I were attached at the hip because I can't go it alone
Is this all my own doing or is it done onto me?
My chest is collapsing from my icy shattered heart
I'm in way too deep
We're solving a mystery but haven't a clue
And have no idea what we're made of

       -Tommy Johnson
Oct 2015 · 991
Seven Steps To Freedom
Tommy Johnson Oct 2015
Rise from the earth
You are safe
Your are stable
Trust yourself and move on

Light the flame and let the water pour
Inhale the steam coming off your creative passions
Your relationships, your ****** desires and attractions
Never feel guilty this is natural

Let it all flow
This is your will, your motivation
You're intelligent, believe it
Focus and listen to your instinct

Feel the rhythm
Love yourself and forgive yourself
This is who you are, and this is who they are
Unconditional, never allow this to be corrupted

Speak up
Share your thoughts
Communicate truths
But be sure they are pure
Dispel the illusions and express innovation

Open your eyes
So you can see all the world is and what it has to offer
Learn, experience and teach
Your perception is cleansed, your mind full is of wisdom

Burst
Let your being implode, so gorgeous
Your ego must die, it will be at peace and so will you
Feel the spirit energy in all its divinity
Accept this consciousness and detach from your body and all worldly things

You are free
Sep 2015 · 782
By The Flames
Tommy Johnson Sep 2015
Consumed by the flames
By the flames

Start the fire, I need you to feel this
As high as it can go, I need to feel it
Light the fire, you want me to feel this
We want to see how high we can go
We want to be consumed by the flames

Take a risk, make a wish
Until then, stay cool
After this, you will never be the same

This isn't right, I close my eyes
Prepare myself for the falling sky
I caused so much harm, I don't know why
I've had my lows, I had my highs
I did my best, now I return
With a clean slate and a lesson learned
I've been mocked, betrayed and scorned
But now I know everything can burn

Consumed by the flames
Take aim
Take blame
Play games
Cause pain
Call names
Make claims

Suppressing feelings, I'm going numb
I can't eat, sleep or see where your coming from
I try to excite myself, lust and near death's never help
I accept death and **** life and the hand I'm dealt
I've ignored the truth, avoided responsibility
But it's in the back of my mind kicking constantly
Now it's time do pay my do's I'm through with tries
I refuse to come back with a consolation prize

Consumed by the flames
Be tamed
Break chains
Disclaim
Proclaim
Insane
No shame

Turn it up, let them watch
Turn me out, I can't be stopped

Nowhere else to go, carrying my woes
Turning into someone I don't even know
Just paying back everything I owe
I've come this far, so

I've come this far

Let the flames consume me
In vain
Fast lane
Life's strain
Constrain
Left brain
Profane

I should have listened
But hear me now
Sep 2015 · 457
Control
Tommy Johnson Sep 2015
I exist in between the right and wrong, bringing meaning by any means
I want to know, do and be anything and everything
The doubters sneers do mean anything
And this going to be my battle cry

I'm using my full capabilities
Demonstrating my innate abilities
Pushing for power and possibilities
This is quality creativity
No child left behind, look where that's got us so far
Either unemployed, in debt or behind bars
So now we got nothing to lose
Blurred lines between accusers and the accused
One side speaks their minds
The others pour out their hearts
The fight, the fighting needs to stop
Arguing who deserves to be on top
I retire my title, my skin tone and my status
I lay back and wait for the world to find balance
I'm using my full capabilities
Demonstrating my innate abilities
Pushing for power and possibilities
This is quality creativity
The responsibility falls on us individually
       -Tommy Johnson
      

We all have some potential
To make something good or detrimental
We have determination to face adversity
And do it so brilliantly
Narrow minded "practical thoughts"
The look at us and think we're lost
I am the voice and face of wayward youths
And everything I do is the proof
I got gems locked away in my mind
I try to express them with what words I can find
But no words can express or do them justice
The actions of this generation must be trusted
All we have is time and energy
So lets make this the world what we want it to be

I'm using my full capabilities
Demonstrating my innate abilities
Pushing for power and possibilities
This is quality creativity

I will not bow, I will not cower
I will not bend to your struggle to power
Using your authority, throwing around your sense of supremacy
With your vicious tendencies harming those under your relentlessly
But I'm one hundred percent sure that we can all agree
That the games make us play are just a fantasy
And we refuse to accept you fallacy, with out sensibility
We leave our enemies and head off to our destinies
I know all the hardships I must endure
But if I stay true and pure
I'll get what I came here for
And gain control and end my eternal war

A lovely rebirth
Quietly inhale, slowly exhale
Time will tell
I am a being with many faces
Sep 2015 · 440
Revolting
Tommy Johnson Sep 2015
This is my desire, my single cause
I can't let it never ever fade away
I'd do anything and I mean anything
I'm going crazy
I could never forgive myself
It can't be all for not
This is mine
My precious time
I can't let it never ever fade away
It's my only shot to make it, I'll take it
I would never forgive myself

Sweet relief, can't even speak
It hasn't been reached, no not yet
The brow sweat set out for a conquest
Spread me across the hood of the car because "I looked suspect"
Outraged protest ignited by civilian unrest
Caused by unlawful ****** and arrests
I guess because I'm young I deserve this knee on my chest
Barking questions , being all threatening, patting me down saying if I got nothing to to hide why do I seem so stressed?
It's just another one of those days, I know I'm still pulling through
But right now I need something to make me smile
Or at least something to get this off my mind for a while
But that's reality, not TV
The fight to avoid fatality
They ask for respect but I won't
They see my detest I make it known

This new age rebellion has ushered in a brand new millennium
Chanting the hymn for Yesterday's requiem
So it's safe to say that we're making history
This is us just taking a few liberties
         -Tommy Johnson
      
They think they have us tunnel visioned stuck to out phones
Think they can turn their youth into drones
They think we can be easily bought and sold
Think they own us along with our souls
But now right at this instant
We're coming to the conclusion that we are infinite
Try to distract us with stimulants and scare us with payment increments
Then start to get militant because we're so insolent
When an incident occurs to the innocent and they begin to implement beatings with their instruments
Whether it be a gun or a club because their so impotent    
Then we become impudent and riot, then their fate becomes imminent

I want some **** rest and some fresh air
And somebody to talk to me like they actually care
I need a moment to clear my head , it's too much to handle
The pressure, the exhaustion I blow out the candle
I close my eyes and make a wish that it did't have to be like this
Because I feel like all these burdens will make me lose my grip
But then again tomorrow is a new day, it could go any way
I'll try my best again, like I do everyday
I wanna bring the truth to the masses
And equality to the social classes
But it's hard when they just harass us
So please, do excuse my crassness
But I gotta do what do
I mean what say
I say what I mean
I give it my all, I give everything
Because I want what I came for
The odd are in my favor
As for the consequences, I''ll deal with that later
And in regards to the haters and naysayers
Go do your thing, I'll say a prayer
It is what it is
And I am who I am
You can either understand that or you can't
Either way don't underestimate what I can do
Because in the end it'll say less about me and more about you
Sep 2015 · 606
All-Bright Always
Tommy Johnson Sep 2015
You think seeing is believing
You think you're alive just because you're breathing
But the truth that you've been told
Is stale and old
It holds you back, won't let you move
To do some good or think of something new
Dark and relentless, warped and demented
Read on if this has captured your attention

So this is what it's like to be holy?
This was the vision that kept me awake in bed
The revelation manifesting itself in my head
I remember wishing so hard to wake up dead
But then a whispering voice crept up and said
"Why not turn your weakness into strength instead?"
It was like a gust of wind with a goal to embed
Me with some kind wisdom for what was ahead
But who was I? Some kid thought to be brain dead
Filled with guilt, shame and irrational dread
Always quiet, leaving my words left unsaid

So this is what it's like to be holy?
But now after hard work and humbling failures
I'm breaking down doors and busting up barriers
This is so major
After dealing with haters, traitors and jailers
Who gave me the spark, who gave me a reason
To go make my mark and fight for my freedom
To pick up the pieces and make something decent
To freeze all the heathens and either eat or be eaten
Or I could have become numb and go to the bottle
But I'm having too much fun becoming colossal
       -Tommy Johnson
Sunlight warming up face
They're bitter just taking up space
But I'm trying to start something
I'm not trying to be judging
But it's kind of touching
How I started out as nothing

So this is what it's like to be holy?

Above my head, I saw the dead dance
Put under a trance
A Gothic romance
I heard the whisper say "take a chance"
"It's the won't it's never can't"
"You must always advance"
And with that I made took my stance

So this is what it's like to be holy?
Aug 2015 · 623
Dichotomy of Chaos
Tommy Johnson Aug 2015
First, there was infinity
Out of infinity came darkness and light
Which were divided into night and day
The light of day gave birth to the sea, the sky and the earth
The darkness of night gave birth to more

It began with doom
Which brought death
Caused by disease and old age
After living  life of suffering
Suffering from pain, mockeries and lies
Lies told by fakes who used illusion
Illusions to cause discord and fights
Fights that ended in war, ****** and ruin
From the ruins came misery
And from that misery came starvation
Which caused plundering and deceit
Deceit showed the way to defilement
The defilers began to harvest pride
The pride lashed out harsh criticisms
Those criticisms caused obsessions to destroy blemishes and defects
The path to doing so lead to lawlessness until all that was left was the choice to forget all that had happen or place the blame somewhere
It was inescapable  

Yet, all of that was only half of what spawned from infinity

The light of day beared the sky, sea and earth
Encompassing them was time and nature
Time held possibilities
Possibilities to create
To create life
Life full of love
Love full of live
And yes, each fate is the same
Death
The start, the length of each life and the eventual end
But each destiny differs
Nature
The ebbing and flowing of order
The force coming from infinity
Binding all living things
To heal and to bestow gifts
Gifts of guidance
Of peace and truth
Truths that speak of joy and undeniable beauty
Encouragement and relief

But what is it that separates the two?
Keeping this world in proper balance?
The answer is us.
Look within yourself and see the infinity you hold
Destroy it
Then create anew
Aug 2015 · 369
Modus Operandi
Tommy Johnson Aug 2015
The light that stays on as you try to fall asleep
The one that pours out question upon question
Until morning comes

Curiosities
The desire to take something apart
And learn how it functions

Follow yourself
Find strange wisdom
It may magnify the mysteries of life

So much time
So little time

Look at ways to think
Change
Find one that fits

The cardboard cut out examples fall flat
Shortcut perspectives and left in darkness
The triumphant discovery of opportunities cannot be put into words

Unravel the fabric
Do not be afraid
The outline of you life may come undone
So you can flow and achieve balance

Create new cycles
Then disrupt them
To find your version of the purpose of meaning

Common sense becomes sparse
Originality is endangered

Things just be
The voices, the things you think you see
Leave you upside down in nonsense

Never stop questioning
Free fall from
You'll land on your feel, always
Then run, you'll know where to go
Jul 2015 · 646
Stellar Eyes
Tommy Johnson Jul 2015
I'm unsure of where I'm headed
I'm near the edge, I'm about to die
But, being near death makes me feel alive
This is such s blessed curse
Things are always upside down and reversed
The world's thunderous applause
Makes me feel like a god
Yet, I'm so unsure of what's happening
This is my choice and mine alone
So I must admit myself
Since I can't make any sense
And it seems that nothing helps
When there's nothing left to tell
No amount of support can stop me now
No words of love can calm me down
I'm so unsure of who I am
I wonder where I'll be in a light year
If I keep walking this way
Through time and space
I wonder where the world will be
If the Earth will still be here
If it will still be able to turn
And the people learn to understand
And take time to look and listen
And learn to love themselves
For everything that they are
And know that they're all stars
I'm so unsure of what the future holds
       -Tommy Johnson

Stellar eyes
Look at me

Stellar eyes
Look in me
Speak to me

For, your dazzle shocks my soul
And makes me feel like I'm whole
When you stare at me
I lose my grip to reality
And all the worries and the cares
It makes realize nothing's there
You rip my conscious bare
And all that's left is truth or dare

Gaze t me dead on
Tell me it won't be long
Before I can expand
And you can contract
Then we'll do it all again
I'm sure I have no idea
Jun 2015 · 638
The Cusp of Creation
Tommy Johnson Jun 2015
I brought some wine for us for while we work
But we got too drunk to do anything
Another day perhaps, yes?
I'm sorry

Become what you love
Know what it is you want
Remain positive
Think
Extend yourself to all others
Free yourself from obsession

Look at our food, all dressed up
You better finish it, there's starving kids in Africa
They all took up space, carried dead weight
Not getting any younger
Xerox days constructed by a constant
Countless times, countless lives, make them count
The neighborhood will reimburse you

Focus
Know change is always present
And you are limitless
Make everything clear
Find your motive
Go at it with euphoria
Align yourself
Then achieve

What to do?

Balance the opposites
Karma
Rebirth
Take responsibility for your actions
Trust to your instincts
Accept truth and speak it
Prayer
Meditation
Dare to question

I'll never settle for less than
In this case
Nothing whatsoever
Fun dissension pops up
Name and address withheld
Uphill battle wages on

Feel the vibration
See the wonders of the world
Healing
Purification
Gain your perspective
Be grateful for it
We are all blessed
Protected
Faith
Grace
Unity

Go, grow, go, grow

Love
Joy
Peace

I'm certain of all of this
Call me old-fashioned
In contrast to convey
So uncanny
The ladder and the former
Steam powered
The naked eye has seen everything

Always doing it the hard way

Remain patient
Stay gentle
Always be giving

Our notability

Closed off

The method, the message

Goodness
Confidence

Without alarm we would never wake
The Top dog is not playing dead
The offspring of hope looking for a laugh
Did they see what I heard? It was silent and bright
Quiet

Be humble
Know moderation
Have total control of yourself

They want to go speak to the lawyer
To whom it may concern
Rather speak to the jury
Couldn't be bothered with our testimony
Left them all and walked the earth

Laying awake in my squeaking bed
I cannot sleep, I bash my head
Now my sheets are running red

I cannot stand for this

Like that
Men must man-up

Can you feel the world moving as you sit there sealed within yourself?

This is what you're here for
To discover and learn
Build your own destiny
Decide your fate
Through generosity
Strength
Sacrifice
Your intuition will guide you

Modern harvest
Commercial compensation

Plucking between her eyebrows

Making us dance

Agartha

From me, to you

It's just the wind
It's never just the wind

Could it be?
You would be hard pressed to believe
It will all come to order
Unhindered
It will be natural

Let it come naturally
Body
Soul
Mind
Spirit

The temporary
The permanent
The starts
The stops
The solstice
The equinox
The opening
The closing
The beginning
The end
We are complete
It is finished
It comes back again
Tommy Johnson Jun 2015
I'm there for those with knives in their backs
For those with hearts that are chipped and cracked
With deteriorating mentalities  
And crumbling realities
I'll be your friend
To the bitter end
Your secret lover
Your blood brother
I come from the darkest depths
Defile life and defy death
Faster than the eye can see
Slave to adrenaline but yet, I'm free
Call me if you need me
But only if you need me
I'm the one your parents warned you of
The one you love to hate and hate to love
A thief, a cheat with all the connections
You look at me and cry because I'm your beautiful reflection
I assure you everything is fine
I tell you, we're all born to die
Addiction and suppression
Conviction and depression
I am no one
I come from nowhere
I come from nothing
Unless you have something to give
No one is going to care
This hurts you more than it does me
I'm the ******* child
Always in the wrong, am I right?
I'm the best at being the worst
Don't pay me any mind
Unless you wanna take this outside
That's where I am
And that's where you'll be safe
It's almost too good to be true
Because it is
Tommy Johnson May 2015
I'm falling by the wayside
I'm part of the up and coming coalition
Trying to get this contraption up and running
That will do away with paint realities

Chapter 11
Section 8
Stake-less bets and crucial moments
I am the noble savage
I can see the focal point
In my peripheral vision
I see a pesky pescetarian  
Tarnishing reputations
Varnishing them with rumors
Serving them with an appeasing garnish
That's their claim to fame

My left and right brain have their held thoughts
I know there is no "I" in "team", but there is one in "time" and you're wasting mine
I want to take the whistleblower and carry her over the threshold

       -Tommy Johnson
Tommy Johnson May 2015
I've got more issues
Than the daily news
You don't even know the half of it
You're so full of it
You said "last time" last time
I'm guilty until proven innocent

Everything has a shelf life
I'm ******* up left and right
Please excuse my bad taste
As I build my persona and reinvent the wheel

These are the paths we follow
These are the lives we lead
We believe in our own lies so hollow
Mesmerized by their majesty

You have allotted powers
And a cognitive prerogative
To appropriate
The procreate
We co-create
Something concrete

Awestruck by the rhetoric
And the ironic ruckus
Of the fire truck up in flames
And the destructive rumpus of the ambulance taking lives in vain

It's nature verses nurture
You're blessed with life
Premeditate
And respect your life
May 2015 · 562
Lex Legis
Tommy Johnson May 2015
You try to capture my attention
By painting by numbers
The inescapable feelings
Are melting in my mouth
The worn off novelties and furtive commodities
I never thought I'd get this far, allow me to paraphrase

Divide and conquer
This is our valor
Different molds
Different shapes
Different models
Different makes
We have the right away

You try your best to preclude
Dissonant product placement
And learn the differences between emotion, feeling, attitude and mood
The art of subsumption  
Looking for a viable something or other

I am a gun for hire aiming at those who cajole
I am a gun for hire aiming at the rigmarole
I am a gun for hire aiming at the Lords and Commons
I am a gun for hire aiming at special interest groups

Oh, shock of mercy subpoena me into extinction
But not before I get a clear consensus
Of who knows that while you get played they get paid
Then let the Copperheads lay me down under my shroud

On June 15th, a Wednesday at noon
May 2015 · 372
Jack off of All Trades
Tommy Johnson May 2015
Enemies, couriers, city-slickers avert your eyes
Heed this warning, I am troubled
I will leave you with more questions than answers
You'd be making time to take time only to waste time
I'm two bottles of wine in and I'm just getting stared
I'm down with going up against someone

I can't clarify if I am friend or foe
I can't ratify fight or flight
It is what it is
Because I said so

Sons and daughters
Keep your eye on the birdie
Time will always show you how much of an idiot you were
Being parsimonious is permissible and bereavement is a give in
I'm three bottles of wine in and I'm just getting started
I'm up for going down on someone

You'll be used, abused and misconstrued
But it will bring out your dexterity
Along with your innate abilities
You do you
Apr 2015 · 490
Felicity
Tommy Johnson Apr 2015
Acknowledge the suffering
And mending
That lead to immunity
Question your depths
Break out
Find fact
For your own eyes
Do not despair
Be true
Fluid
Mar 2015 · 670
The Pulse Generation
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Now, if you think I am the only writer or poet of my kind in this New Age Millennium, you are mistaken

There is me that is, Sammy Kendricks and my crew of reject ragtag writers extraordinaire who are going to change this world

First on the roster we have Haden Zanders, a poet who tackles topics from a humorous but  intelligent and eloquent way

Then there's Zach Nichols my personal shaman, he's into paganism, mysticism, alchemy and spirituality as a whole
His writing is out of this world, literally and add to it he's a musician who is single handedly innovating the neo tribal music genre

Next In Derek Neman, a poet and musican close to my heart, a bit younger than the rest of us but still hold his own
He is loving, caring and has a strong spirit that I know will take him wherever he goes
His words can make mountains weep

Then there are Kaspar and Otto
Kaspar is a poet of the romantic variety, hopelessly devoted to love
Otto is a writer who can sum up any topic in a matter of a few lines
But powerful lines they be
Short, sweet and to the point

Up next is my good friend Jeeves, Jeeves isn't his real name
His real name is Nat but that was too boring so we all call him Jeeves
He is one of the mad ones, stricken with a severe case of wanderlust and wonderment
He served in the navy for three years
Now he's back and writes of his travels and his loves and losses
He paint, plays bass and philosophizes the human condition

Of course how could I forget Pete, a clean cut good 'ol boy
Always down to meet woman and have a drink and make a night out of a day
He writes rhymes like I've never seen
So vibrant and addicting

We all have that friend we **** heads with and Sonny is that friend for me
We're opposites in every sense of the word
You all know me so imagine the reverse
But his writing is political, realistic, stoic, emotional and completely him
I love him to death, there will come a day where we throw down

Now finally last but not least
You know him
You love him
You hate him
It's the Don Juan of Dumont
The one and only
Quincy Valero
His writing reads as fast as he lives
A mile a minute
Girls, cars, drugs, food, parties
Excess and excitement
Memories and mistakes
Highs and lows
Yes

But of course we have other non writing friends
Zeik Adams my engineering friend whos gonna be rich someday
Nyal Jensen our dancing friend who always brings it to the floor in every club we hit
Ahio Rikashi our best bud from the far east, romantic and deep
Kyle Filmore my trippy drummer
And Mike Neman, Derek's younger brother and one of my closest friends

We've all shared pain and laughter
Trips, drunken evenings
Road trips, meals
Quarrels and misunderstandings
But we all care about each other
And all of our writing and our goal to always be there to check the pulse of this world
Hell, even start it up when it wains off every now and then
We're here to give this generation a kick start
A reminder of what we can and will do
We can revitalize our world with knowledge, understanding and unity
We are the pulse generation
Mar 2015 · 626
Watershed Moments
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
The Mecca is the trifecta of the vertex of the epicenter of the apex
But we just use that as a reference point
We refused to be swayed by centripetal force
And peeled back the layers of the mind to find the inertia that had given us the centrifugal force to push us in our quest to find the ultimate reality

I saw a vandal giving in to voyeurism
When a watershed moment happened

He had a sudden premonition
There were nervous virgins about to take the plunge
There were people giving hi 5's to each other and making pinky promises they swore to keep
There were poor soul's trying to quit cold turkey
Eating molten ****** cakes

I looked to the East and visions came to me as well
I saw kids having fever dreams of pitching fits and fever pitches
I saw liberated lesbian librarians eating their feelings and playing
"**** one, **** one, marry one"
I saw the extinction of guilty pleasures
I saw a man being caught up in getting up to speed with
I trifling teenagers
Low on money but high off drugs
I saw myself checking in to check up on the check out line to pick out and pick up a new catcher's mitt
I caught a case
A call
And a cold

I saw the love of my life running towards me on a soft white beach
As she came closer I could see her beginning to decay
Her skin melted
Her organs and blood fell from her
Her eyes and teeth dropped out of her head
Her hair fell out
And her skeleton came into my arms and I heard a whisper
"I will always be with you, my uncrowned king"
Mar 2015 · 412
Peradam
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
I'm the reclusive wreck-loose
Who's about to let loose
And instigate and substantiate the fact that society's narrow mindedness is there for us to instantiate that we ourselves have to promote understanding and antiquate hate
Accidents happened and mistakes were made

They take a sardonic look at the schematics of a systematic syncopated symmetry    
They say we dare not deviate from the Fibonacci Sequence
But to matriculate
And be quick on the uptake
Then add ourselves to the division of labour

I make empirical claims to disarm ephemeral things
Fashion
Technology
Music
Life as a whole
But then I'm the *******
They salt the songbird's tail
Clipping the properties of personality

"Bide your time so you don't do anything foolish and bite your tongue so you don't say anything you may regret"
But this is this part of the cocoon effect  
Waiting to see all the failed racists
After this metaphysical metamorphosis
So modern
So contemporary
It's classic
Soon to be ancient
The adages and aesthetic aphrodisiacs

'Who do you want to be when you grow up?"
"What do you want to be when you grow up"

"I want to be civilization as you know it..or as you like it"

Peradam-  Something that shows itself to those who truly seek it.
Mar 2015 · 574
Solid
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
My hear pounds as the thunder fills the spaces of sound.
And rain begins to trickle down my awning and into a puddle outside my door.
I look out and see a dark grey arrangement of clouds covering the morning sky.
The clock is screaming the reminder of my lateness.
I haven’t swept or made my bed yet.
Ah, never mind that as I rush down the staircase attempting to put on my coat.
I mustn’t miss it this time.
A ****** my notebook and pencil case.
Throw my scratched burgundy leather shoes, step into the spontaneous downpour.
Locking the door and running out into the storm.
My hair messy and wet, my pants becoming drenched in no time at all.
I need to make it this time.
Stomping through the mud covered roads and soggy plains.
My watch prompts me that I have only a few moments before the time has passed.
Oh cruel planet, may the spinning of your axis come to halt for just this moment I beg of you.
The hopes in dreams of this flashing moment dancing violently in my head for days now.
The thunders booms over my head, throwing off my equilibrium causing me to slip and slash my knee.
None the less I stride on to my desired intention.
Over the bridges, passing decayed and blooming trees blowing in this calamitous squall.
My coat fluttering in the opposing wind.
Almost
There
My socks drowned, my pants saturated, my shirts soaked and my coat overtaken by the rainfall and all its enormity.
But my determination dry and steady as anything.
I will not, cannot stop.
Lightning now fills the sky and my pounding heart skips a beat.
Time is running thin, just a little more to go.
Must procure this task that has been asked of me and carry it out with the greatest of precision.
My feat now wet and blood from dashing through a rocky river bed.
I can see it, the house, I’m almost there.
Lightning and thunder engulf the atmosphere and sound barrier.
My clothes must be twenty pounds heavier since I’ve walked out of my house.
Ah, but sweet relief and victory now come to me as I open the door and sprint into the house to water my dear friend’s house plants.
A promise I had made to her before she left for Denver.
Perhaps she has an umbrella I may borrow for my venture home.
Oh the suns breaking through the clouds, the rain is dwindling down to a drizzle, thunders dissipated and lightning is no more.
Good.
Mar 2015 · 1.4k
Brain Drain
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
My mind is out of focus
And my mouth is dry
My eyes are too heavy
'Im so very tired

And my face is blank
My heart is slow
My body is so warm
Then it turns cold

Now my body twitches
My breathing is getting deep
I can't trust my ears
Or images that I see

It seems that I'm here
But my mind is gone
Time seems so short
But feels so long

My system needs a shock
Or a wake up call
When you talk to me
Its like conversing with a wall

Caffeine don’t do a thing
Caffeine won;t do a thing
Caffeine does nothing
Caffeine do something
The sunshine hurts my eyes
My mood is so damp
I'm like a zombie
Try to get up but I can't

Brain drain
Brain drain
Causing me mental pain

Brain drain
Brain drain
My head can't sustain

Brain drain
Brain drain
Everything looks the same

Brain drain
Brain drain
I feel so lame

Brain drain
Brain drain
I can't concentrate
Brain drain
Brain drain
Worn out from this game

Wake me up
Get me up
Keep me up
Give me up

My head begs for endorphins
But I cant oblige
Now I'm feeling down
It weeps and it cries

Keep my head spinning
At every minute of every day
But now I'm running on fumes
You got nothing to say

You got my heart, hold it oh so tight
I go behind your back doing things that ain't so right
Wrap me up in all this drama I wanna leave
I need to take a break I'm almost outta steam

In school I'm barely getting by
Because I'm focused on getting laid and getting high
My mind wandered off
To where it shouldn't have been
So now it has died
And buried with my sins

I wanna go back to normal
Original thought process
Mind and body went to hell and back
All I can do is digress

I had too much fun for way to long
So now my right is left and my left is wrong

I've got all this stress and it piles up
But it's on my shoulders and I can't pass the buck

I find no enjoyment in what I once held dear
Becoming eternally empty is my deepest fear
Mar 2015 · 550
Tuesdays
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Pawn to E-4
Just jumped my way to some money
A favor, a ride and some of my time
I'm not sure if I’ll survive

On the way to Newark to make a pick up
What are we getting?
Don’t worry about it
Just be cool

We have to go to the pines first
Pick up a friend
Out patient
Addicted to *******

The truth comes out
And what a smack in the face
We’re getting ******
And it's going in my trunk

The two start doing lines in the back seat
As I get on to the highway
My palms sweat and thoughts go 70 miles per hours as the car goes 50
How did I get here?

I’m an escort
Escorting them to buy powdered death
To spread to the junkies and the ******
And I’m as guilty as they are

We get to a burger place
And I run to the bathroom stall
And I make a call to my friend
I tell him what's going on

I rant and rave
And plan an escape
But there's no way  out
And I'm stuck here now, ride it out

We get to the destination
We walked through the doors
Three guys pulled out their guns
And patted us down

They're clean
We were clean
I felt anything but
Covered in guilt and doused in paranoia

The money is traded for the smack
We all walk away happy and less tense
All but me, I leave with anxiety and a deep fear
So much fear

Fear of getting shot
Fear of getting caught
Fear of killing someone
Fear of myself

I let myself get here because I wanted an adventure
I continued even after I found out where we were going and why
I even took part in buying it with them
And now were off to Ridgewood
Who am I?

Come and get it
The eager hopeless junkies flock
In half an hour it’s all gone
I held the money
It was so heavy

The weight of the guilt and shame dragged me down
Down to a place I'd never been before
Where I know how disgusting I am
The thought of myself was enough to make me *****
The two guys I was with couldn’t be happier
They made their money for the day
The two of them made me apprehensive
So uneasy and unfamiliar

The one kid had sold me the key a few weeks back
And now hes asked of me the task I had completed
He had just tried this stuff yesterday
And plans to do it again, hes gone

His friend, had more experience
Heroine, coke, uppers and downers
Addicted, enslaved to substance
His manic mental state didn’t help matters either

By then my trunk was empty
And my heart was full of guilt
My mind was full of whys
But my pocket had 50 bucks in it

And now we all ride back to school
I cut class for this adventure
I went to the farthest place from my comfort zone
And now I know my limits

Never again
Never again
I'm sorry, never again
Check mate
Mar 2015 · 2.3k
Rebellious Youth
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Rebellious youth stay still
Drinking until you get your fill
Violent youth, angry youth
Mom and dad don’t know what to do
You are proof, you are the truth
You are the reason that your parents fight

With home behind him, the future in his hands
Free from sin, never to be touched again
Let his life finally begin

Rebellious youth stay still
Drinking until you get your fill
Free from sin, never to be touched again
Let his life finally begin

Rebellious youth stay still
You won’t give up no you never will

That's it we're shipping you off to Siberia!
Mar 2015 · 548
Slap Stoned Love
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
She claims to be bad at expressing feelings but I’m numb
Hardly a subtle
Gesture of interest in the form of touch
And mixed up with words the sound uncertain
Right now you’re like “I’m not sure how I feel”
And I’m “if I speak it’ll get worse”

I’m a day late and a brain short
There’s too many thought I need to sort
So  I write them right here
So there fresh in my mind

Come here
We have nothing but time
Come hear
The song of the lives of the dead
Come, don’t walk, run
Come away with me

I always give up before you give in
Get off lights out
Lights flash
It’s make or break, hello goodbye

I’m a day late and a brain short
There’s too many thought I need to sort
So I write them right here
So there fresh in my mind

When will you give me the place and time?
When it’s convenient for me to profess my love?


Come here
We have nothing but time
Come hear
The song of the lives  of the dead
Come, don’t walk, run
Come away with me

When will you give me the place and time?
When its convenient for me to profess my love?
I know how you really feel but I’m not sure what’s wrong with me

Come here
We have nothing but time
Come hear
The song of the lives  of the dead
Come, don’t walk, run
Come away with me
Mar 2015 · 653
The Girl Who Wanted It All
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Oh there once was a girl
And she wanted it all
But she didn’t know how high the price was

Oh yes it would cost her
Her one eternal lover
But she was selfish and tossed him away
Whoa you can't take it back

And the boy was forgotten
He felt so unwanted
And the girl walked away very happy
Yes but then it struck her
She still wanted her lover
She gotten it all but wanted him too
Whoa you cant take it back

Wanted her cake and to eat it too
Nothing she could do
He was gone forever the fates had him
She had such a tantrum
But didn’t regret what she done
Because she still had everything she wanted
Whoa just don’t you look back

So she had a wonderful time
With her friends and wine
But still had that very empty feeling
She just wanted to be loved
But was not sure what love was
She wondered if it was even real
Whoa just don’t you look back

As for her lover
He tried to forgive her
But knew she was wrong and never loved him

One does not trade another
Especially if it’s a lover
If he went back it would happen again
Whoa the lights fade to black

His trust and loved vanished
The girl and him finished
Still cared but only for a second

He went through a depression
Sadness mixed with aggression
But time heals all wounds even one this huge
Whoa the lights fade to black

And now they both must walk alone
Shows who's deep and who's shallow
I think the answer we know
It was the girl who wanted it all
Who will be the one to fall
The boy wont answer her call
Don’t forgive just forget
Trust me it is for the best
"Power goes to the one who cares less"

But she didn’t know how high the price was
Mar 2015 · 503
Sandy
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
The lights flash on
I can see again
The darkness leaves
I am blind no more

The blackness gone
It's come to an end
Now its gleaming
Visions restored

We got the power
We shine the light
We are the day
We fight the night

Super charged
Solar flare
Yes it is
It’s a power surge

The storm came hard
The winds were high
The house collapsed
The rain fell through

Didn't go too far
We killed the night
And the storm passed
Beams of light pass on
Mar 2015 · 424
Dr. Howard
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
There's not a single thing
I can do
There's no way
Not a chance in hell
You’ll pull through

So just say your prayers
Don’t cry, don’t cry
Families forever
Try to remember, it will be alright

Children, your father's leaving
And he has sent me
To give this to you
A bit of reassurance
That you’ll be fine
You’ll be fine

I will talk with your mother
Oh what will I say?
It’s just too hard
Gotta find a way
I must be strong

Okay

I’m so sorry Mrs.
Take a seat
I can’t help but to pause
My mind has been breached

I let out a whisper
She falls to the floor
"He promised me forever
And that we would never ever
Leave me alone"

Come here Mrs.
Let it out
Let it out
Just breathe

There's not a single thing
I can do
There's no way
Not a chance in hell
You’ll pull through

So just say your prayers
Don’t cry don’t cry
Families forever
Try to remember, it will be alright

A family without a father
How that must feel
There's an empty seat
At every meal
I’m so sorry for you
So I cry

I walk back and look at him
He looks so peaceful
My my my
Under deaths magic spell
Oh what a life
Definitely
Greater than mine

He opens his eyes
Mar 2015 · 778
Three Nights Before
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Gets a text from her ex lover
Says he loves her but had *** with an other
Calls him a ******* and calls her a *****
Even though she did the same thing three nights before

I’m sorry, so sorry to have to tell you the news
I told the truth and now it's all over
Which is weird cause I'm always telling stories
Lies make your mascara run and your vision blurry

I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
You hurt me so bad
Threw me away oh what could I do?
You got so mad when I found someone else
But it's okay if there's a guy that’s not me on top of you

I'm sick of living this falsehood
This lying this cheating ain't doing me any good
But I'm not like you at least I'm not selfish
I mess something up you know I'll fix it

Who the hell am I kidding?
I'm really no better than you
Cheated and never told you, another woman or two
Seems I chose a bad time to be honest
I'm sorry calm down can we please move on from this

I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
You hurt me so bad
Threw me away oh what could I do?
You got so mad when I found someone else
But it's okay if there's a guy that’s not me on top of you

I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
Mar 2015 · 1.2k
Trueness
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
The pain is gone, I can finally sleep
Waiting so long for this agony to leave
Been storing this virus away in my vault
Now I realized it was both our faults

Promised you I'd loved you every day and night
And thinking that it would make everything alright
And yes it seems we loved too hard and lost the fun
Guess that happens when you are so young

Now she's leaving
Now I'm leaving
We’ll always remember

How much we cared for each other in our youth
But now it's time for us to move
And it's true
We both gotta go on and explore the world
And rest assured I'll
Never forget that girl

And yes, she was my very first love
And she made me believe there was a god above
And if there were issues you know we’d resolve them
But there was only one problem

We were so inexperienced
Two years until we realized we couldn’t handle it
Acted like we were married we were kids
And we both lacked common sense

Now she's leaving
Now I'm leaving
We’ll always remember

How much we cared for each other in our youth
But now it's time for us to move
And it's true
We both gotta go on and explore the world
And rest assured I'll
Never forget that girl

And I'll will never forget you
I’ll never forget you
Now were moving on
Now were moving on
Now were moving on
Love is never gone

And how we cared for each other in our youth
But now it's time for me and you
You know
How much we cared for each other  in our youth
But now it's time for me and you
And you know its true
We both gotta explore the world
And I gotta explore the world
And you wanna explore the world
And rest assured I'll
Oh rest assured ill
Never forget you girl
Mar 2015 · 388
Westfield
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Oh dear got what have we unleashed ?
Think we just started a **** storm

People screaming, people fighting
People running,  people bleeding

Police are coming, now we’re running
Arresting, giving out beatings

Accidental uprising

Now there's people looting this place
Widespread panic all because of us

What started as a yelling match
Turned into a teenage revolt

Cops busting heads, kids fighting back
This place is up in flames, our fault

Accidental uprising

Blood shed
No reason
Disturbance
Unneeded
A demonstration
With no cause
Wasn't us
Get to the car

Accidental uprising
Mar 2015 · 422
Incomplete Pass
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
What time and where are we hanging sideway picture frames
Swaying above the floor?
Please alert the coroner
I’m not that quite sure
Mar 2015 · 567
Doubtful
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
My suspicion
Intercepts
Your deception
I don’t believe

Don’t call me paranoid
Because I see through your lies
No I'm not a skeptic
I'm just not dumb and blind

You'll never have my trust
I'll never confide in you
My faith was just sentenced to death
It's still hanging from the noose

My suspicion
Intercepts
Your deception
I don’t believe

Put your trust in no one
Then you'll never get hurt
Put it all in yourself
And see what its worth

I don’t believe in you
Someone I can't rely om
Your stories are fiction
So it makes me uncertain

Used to give people my trust
Then they'd throw it all away
Bought too many bridges
That’s why I hesitate

My suspicion
Intercepts
Your deception
I don’t believe

Put your trust in no one
Then you'll never get hurt
Put it all in yourself
And see what its worth

I don’t depend
I just doubt
The flames been
Blown out

My suspicion
Intercepts
Your deception
I don’t believe

Put your trust in no one
Then you'll never get hurt
Put it all in yourself
And see what its worth
Mar 2015 · 392
Unfinished Trance
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
He wonders how he does it
Ah ha oh no
I'm the spark inside
Every parasite
Hypocritical
And impractical
Fall into pits
Mar 2015 · 350
The Gift Of Divinity
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
On a night
Of a full moon
You laid under the moon light
Staring
Thinking of what it was you had to do
And off you went

I was lying under the same sky
Watching the constellations take shape
When a harsh reminder
A cruel reality
Came to me

I saw the glint in your eyes
The same in mine
So I joined you
On your way to the summit

Caverns and chambers
One of acceptance
One of security
And one of redemption

You chose redemption

Fall into the sweet void
Humble yourself
Look up
See yourself
Know yourself

Caverns and chambers
One of envy
One of innocence
And one of deep knowledge

I chose deeper knowledge

Ran an arms race against myself
And I won

I met you at the finish line
We found the source of unity
At the end of the pathway of right and wrong

Only when all is lost and scattered
May the unification of the souls of everyone cleanse the universe
And start anew

The rapture of losing all worldly weight
No remorse
No pain
No sickness
No grief
No suffering
No death
For we would be deathless

Pure energy
Our holy original form
In all it's glory

Put aside you ego
Let it die
If you cannot
Allow all others to become unified

Now you and I are free
Mar 2015 · 370
Smokes In The Way
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Lets roll another one and pass it around
Lets smoke another, lets never come down
When it's all gone we’ll just get some more
Get high as the sky, pass out on the floor

I can't even see man
The smokes in the way
I can't even breath man
Take this away

We only buy the greatest green
Thicker than fog, were thicker than thieves
Once you take a puff, you'll never go back
Your balance is off, your vision is whacked

I can't even see man
The smokes in the way
I can't even breath man
Take this away

I can't even think straight
Is this okay?
Is this addicting?
I wanna stay this way

So call me up when you got the urge
Just let me know when you wanna burn
It ain't hard just pick up the phone
And we’ll throw fives then roll up a bone
Taste sweeter than *****, you'll love it kid

I can't even see man
The smokes in the way
I can't even breath man
Take this away
I can't even think straight
Is this okay?
Is this addicting?
I wanna stay this way
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
I can only do this for so long
I have a feeling were almost done
If she leave I wont be shaken
I wont be sad, I wont be bummed
You never really had my heart
I was just playing a role
I'm an actor not a liar

Because my care for you wasn't a lie
I never meant to cause any harm
Now can't you see?
That in all our kisses
I always hoped there be
A new start for me

But I was playing a part
I was playing a role
I'm an actor not a liar
Our love cant die if it was never alive
Mar 2015 · 274
Raindogs
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
If you were dying
Bleeding in the street
I would  help you
Even though you hate my guts
And I'm sure you wouldn't be happy
That it's me helping you
But it’s the right thing for me to do
I will not let you die
So swallow your shallow pride
Just let it go

Why were we fighting?
What were we fighting about?
Well guess it doesn’t matter now
Your losing blood
Patching up your wound, sit still
Just relax, just chill
There;s nothing for you to say
You're still a friend to me
Even though you hate the very idea of me

I wish I can take back what I have done to you
I've hurt you, but not this bad
So what are you yelling for?
What would you have me do?
Leave you to die
And just look and pass you by
So you can meet your end?
No, id never do that to a friend
Mar 2015 · 441
Stoned To Death
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Now everyday I try to get by
I try to get drunk or try to get high
I sit around and wait to die
24/7, 365

I don’t sleep at night I'm up late thinking
These memories, I can feel my heart sinking
The feeling  that we all feel
I lay in bed, is this world real?

Does anything here even matter?
If my my heart burst and the blood splatters
Will it make a difference?
If my life shatters?
I want to die alone

If I was dead I can rest in peace
I hate being confined, I need release
I'm sick of life ups and down
I want out, I want it now

My souls gone cold I can feel it
I'm losing balance, I've lost my grip
I left the window open tonight
Incase the angle of death decides to take my life
Does anything here even matter?
If my my heart burst and the blood splatters?
Will it make a difference?
If my life shatters
I want to die alone
Mar 2015 · 678
Seed
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Now mistakes, I've made a few
It's win or lose
The paths I'd chose
What I thought was right
The choice was mine
And with out insight
I got myself in a jam
What could I do?
I was ******
A condemned man
I take the blame
Full responsibility
I don’t deny or disagree

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

Is this the end?
Or the beginning?
I've been dealt a *** hand
I never should have answered that call
That way I'd never fall
And no one would sob or bawl
I take the blame
Full responsibility
I don’t deny or disagree

So now I'm back here once again
A place a rehabilitation
To right my wrongs and be forgiven

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

Now I can see
What must change in me
I'm falling from grace

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

And now I lay on the ****** pavement
getting kicked again
I faced the odds and lost the bet
I've taken everything for granted
My ways are shifty and slanted
Is my life hexed or enchanted ?

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow
Mar 2015 · 317
Love Is Blind
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
I was your's and you were mine
Too bad love is blind
You were the first I'd find
Too bad love is blind

Oh who could ever see
You being with me?
Two different minds
Oh, love is so blind

Not far or near sighted
The truth, I tried to fight it
I was just so excited
But I was just blinded

Self destructive, depressed
My feelings are suppressed
The trick I learned from you
Nothing else I could do

My heart is now mute
I cannot make a move
Nothing left to prove
In love, someone will always lose

The scar won't fade
But I know one day
I'll be okay, in time
But love will always be blind
Mar 2015 · 375
Gang's All Here
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Well through the years I've had many friends
They're always coming , they're always leaving
And lately I've been thinking
Who are the ones
That are worth keeping?

There are strangers, acquaintances, mutual friends
Life-longers, fair-weathers, but in the end
If I can say I can count them on one hand
I can consider myself a rich man

If you have my back I'll have always have yours
I'm not burning bridges or closing doors
Just wanna have fun and down some beers
Lost too many friends over the years

But maybe its me who makes them go
Whats wrong with me? I don’t know
Oh well, just move on
Just face the fact that there gone

There are strangers, acquaintances, mutual friends
Life-longers, fair-weathers, but in the end
If I can say I can count them on one hand
I can consider myself a rich man

I live my life with no regret
Doesn’t mean I'm not upset
There's just one thing I don’t get
Why did you have to lie?
Why'd you leave me high and dry
And go off with some other guy
In the back of my mind I knew
That within a month we’d be through
Fighting an emotional battle
Face down in the rubble
I hide at the bottom of a bottle

You said so long, in tears
I couldn’t say a word
I ran to the words
And you went home

I look back

I loved you so much
It was never good enough
I'd make it easy, you'd make it rough
No give just take
Never fifty fifty
More like 80/20
You said so long, in tears
I couldn’t say a word
I ran to the woods
And you went home
Mar 2015 · 335
Me And Her
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Nothing can stop me from seeing my girl
It's just me and her
Me and her

She pulled me out from the ****
Shes got heart so big
Thought no one could love me but she did
And I just couldn’t believe that

She is at the top of my list
The best touch, the best kiss
I shouldn’t tell I promised
I just can't believe this

Now yes, walls can divide
But nothing can stop me from seeing my girl
Cause it's just me and her
Just me and her

Now isn’t easy to see
That she means the world to me
So just let us be
So just go away

This love is new
And I'm not sure what to do
After everything I've been through
Broken hearts, I've caused a few

Roosevelt 9 and 1
Nothing stops me from seeing my girl
Cause its just me and her
Just me and her
Mar 2015 · 481
I Would If I Could
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
Walk to your door, on Saturday
I said goodbye and drove away
You were in pain, you were hurt
I couldn't be with you any more

You were the girl I called mine
Now you’re the girl who told me to die
It isn't my fault the feeling was gone
Can't force something if its wrong

Go to hell
I am on my way
You told me to hang myself
I would if I could

I'm going out with my friends
Back to square one, I'm here again
A night on the town
Their spirits are up but mine is down

It wasn’t fair to you, I'm a cheater
Like a child, you followed the leader
I couldn’t keep playing the game
I let you go and drove away

Go to hell
I am on my way
You told me to hang myself
I would if I could

The union of guilt and pain
The nostalgia drove me insane
The memories so bitter sweet
That feeling that cant be beat

There must be some lesson to learn
Don’t touch the fire you will get burned
Don’t write a cash you can't cash
Plan for the future, learn from the past

I wish you well
Have nice day
Enjoy yourself
You know you should
Mar 2015 · 307
Phrenic Overhaul
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
You all tell me to get help, I can do it on my own
I've been there and back and history will show
The is not the first time, I promise I’ll be fine
They all try to help, I can do this on my own

Try to find the cause, my stressor
The annoy and pry, I fester
There ain't a thing
You can say to me
No doctor, pastor or professor

They're telling me to get help, I can do this on my own
I really hate to brag, there's something you lack, I already know
Tell me I need common sense, oh my family and my friends
They're telling me to get help, I can do this on my own

I ask myself, "who do you think you are?"
"And how did you get this far?"
"Your on the verge of losing your mind"
"Put this off for to long"
"On the edge of suicide"
"Just have your self a nice cry"

They told me to get help, I could do it on my own
I picked up the slack and now I’m back, coming back home
Is it some kinda disorder
Am I bipolar
Or am I just depressed?
I'm my own doctor

Get inside my mind
Lesser men have tried

I told myself to get help, I had no where else to go
Beaten and sad, confused I've gone mad, I'm about to blow
A massacre in my head, take six shots, go to bed
Will I ever be okay?
God I hope so
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
In an attempt to reclaim my sanity
I sit and listen attentively to the whispers of the cold wind
It's rather stormy for the month of may
But beggars can't be choosers
I would have chosen a bright clear skied day
Instead of wet and windy sky of gray
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