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little lioness Jan 2018
my bones are slowly          
                              b  r  e  a  k  i  ­n  g
                                              a     p     a     r     t
without your T  O  U  C  H
to hold them together.

your lips sealed my fate like g l u e
my body is     s    t    u    c    k
waiting and
waiting and
waiting and
w a i t i n g

for you to come back and fix me
little lioness Jan 2018
Each morning she took two pills with her breakfast. Both were little capsules, the first one a nasty tan color and the second half white and half blue. They went down easy, followed by a glass of water before the bottles were placed back on the shelf for the next day.
One is for the anxiety, the other is for the depression. She takes them dutifully every day, for without them she is plagued with the kind of darkness that makes your blood run cold and the walls feel like they’re beginning to swallow you inside.
But with them, it is not much brighter. The words of her mother and the insults from her father follow her through the light, casting a shadow that trails behind her. The C- on her math test and the glares from her friends feed the darkness. Each step grows heavier as the shadow grows larger and stronger.
He climbs up onto her shoulders in order to reach the high expectations and the pressure that she stands under each day. They weigh him down, which weighs her down, which leaves her dragging her feet along the pavement while begging for the sweet relief that those stupid orange bottles swear they hold.
The shadow claims her in the night, pounding away at her walls, drawing whimpers and sobs from her lips. The pain is masked by the pleasure he brings her, which is masked by her relief when she wakes up alone the next morning, and then the guilt when she finds him awaiting her presence at the kitchen table.
Two pills, followed by a glass of water and the shadow each morning. Her begging and pleading for him to leave her shatters her resolve, and one cold morning she begins to cry. She throws herself at the world, asking them to please save her from this man, save her from the pain and the fear and the darkness that’s been plaguing her for so long.
One word. Two letters. He swallows her whole.
One glass of water. Two empty bottles. Three numbers bring four sirens.
One sound. One line.
Time of death: 06:04 AM
An assignment from creative writing a couple months back...
little lioness Jan 2018
I
   Am
        So
           Tired
                Of
                    The
                        Memories
                            Of
                               You
They
      Haunt
            My
                Dreams
                     And
                        Turn
                            Them
                                  Into
                                       Nightmares.
I hate sleeping alone because there’s nobody to distract me from you
little lioness Jan 2018
you
his kisses will never compare to the feeling of
your
lips brushing against my skin while
your
hands tangle themselves in my hair.

my name will never roll off of his tongue like it rolls off of
yours
when my body is molded against
yours
in the dark.

his touch will not send shivers down my spine the way
yours
always does when my hand is held by
yours
as we walk.


i’ll never love him the way i loved                                                                  ­  
you...
the way I still love                                                                        ­                      
you.

  

maybe his love for me won’t fade away like                      
yours                                 ­                     
did after you met                                            
her...
Even after everything he did, I can’t help but love him...
little lioness Jan 2018
my innocence.
stolen away...
twelve years old and desperate for
the love of a boy,
too naïve to know
the difference between
love
and
lust.

my first kiss,
taken from me by a
man
who filled my throat with
drugs and
darkness,
his lips coaxing shivers of pleasure
out of my twelve year old body,
mistaking my whimpers of terror
as pleas
for more.

he took me upstairs,
for my legs no longer worked,
amputated by the drugs he filled me with,
my brain was numb
to his touch,
and it was over
before my mind had even begun
to process the
fear
and
vulnerability
that should have filled my body
in place of his
lust
and
desire.

it’s gone,
ripped
stolen
erased
from my mind and my body.
the drugs rid me of the memories
but left behind the ghost
of his touch
to come and play
in the night.
nobody will ever know what he did. I can’t even remember who he was.
little lioness Jan 2018
i wish that
my demons
would burn
with the sunrise
of the new year.
little lioness Jan 2018
I remember waking up next to you in the mornings, our fingers intertwined under your covers. The door would always be open, the thin curtains pushed back so that the sunlight would caress our skin until we awoke.
I remember your call when I was admitted to the hospital. Hearing your choked out sobs, the words of fear and devotion and love spilling from both of our lips.
I remember the tears we both shed after endless movie nights snuggled together in your basement. We’d fall asleep together on the floor, our bodies fused together under a mountain of blankets and stuffed animals that we shared.
I remember the feeling of your arms around me as I cried out in the dark... you swore that it was all okay and that you loved me, that things would get better in time...
God did I love you. I loved you with every single ******* fibre of my being, yet somehow that wasn't good enough. Somehow, 10 years of total devotion to you was not enough. Yet somehow you made it my fault, and I loved you so much that I let myself believe that it was true, thinking it would keep you by my side.
I still remember the day that you left me. The tears ran down my face like a river as you said goodbye to me for the last time. Your name tumbled out of my lips, a desperate plea for you to come back...
Four years later, and you’re still not sorry...
four years later, and I still am.
I miss you
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