anxiety build up

emotional release

how did you hide this?

now you're there and i'm here

thanks

Tears, anger, resent.

What you felt after I left.

Onto the next stage.

You were once around.

thought we were sound.

A flash of light.

Sudden plight.

You use,

abuse,

confuse,

I lose.

Emotional fall back,

your safety net.

Not anymore.

I have never tasted

the fruits of my work.

The apple of our eyes.

Just one, sweet bite.

One bite, to last a lifetime.

Is all I need.

I was sat in a hunk of metal.

Soaring through the sky with unfathomable speed.

Over countries and cross continents.

I was sat in a hunk of metal,

thinking of you and what you were doing at that exact moment.

Wallowing in my sadness, wishing to feel your embrace.

muse.

ever escaping.

back of the mind.

itching.

begging.

**** the muse.

**** it and all it stands for.

consummation and corruption,

my life in two.

a product of both,

and so are you.

You spit in my face and tear through my soul.

The intricacies and delicacies of life, pay my toll.

I cause hurt, have been hurt, but feel nothing withal.

The lifetimes we often choose to accept,

are the ones we often choose regret.

with no middle-ground I am left here to say,

disregard the past, create a new day.

i dreamt of the girl with golden hair

her eyes glow green grey, like rhinestones through her hair

short and thin, with a stutter in her talk

every now and again, a stutter in her walk

she's gone now

i'm crying
i'm writing
i'm smoking
i'm sighing

i dreamt of a girl with golden hair

just a dream of a girl, **who's no longer there