wishing you could see how valuable i could be
how much i care
how i stop and stare
whenever i see you
and you see right through me

Why oh Why,
  do we toss the dice
  when the last thing we should gamble
  with is our lives

         Why oh Why,
           are we so good at lies
           but often so bad
           when we try and deny

Why oh Why,
  are we not color blind
  when the color, all bleed
  is red on the inside

          Why oh Why,
            do we love the light
            but only when it shines
            in the cervices of other lives

Why oh Why,
  when we go to die
  that we concentrate
  mostly on life

After dark,
while all at peace.
One lies in heightened loneliness,
with burning pain.
Slicing and punishing,
desperately seeking secretive relief.
Controlled affliction,
in a limited soothing fix.
Finally releasing the dark plague,
screaming inside.

© Jl 2016

for once
i'd like someone to hear me out

for once
i wish so many people wouldn't doubt
me

for once
i want someone to see something amazing in
me

for once
i'd like someone to actually care for
me

for once
i'd like a friend

but i can't have any of that, so that's the end.

I had a dream last night
I dreamt that I was holding you
in my arms
When I woke up
I realized
that I was spooning
a bottle of ***

Oh how many times
have I watched
a movie
I don't want to see
with a guy
just cause I want to see
him
naked

you feel like worn silk sheets

like home.