my love for him is comfortable
he lies down on my bed
i lay my head next to his
he doesnt ask for more
he doesnt need more,
to love me too

men have never been my forte.
not even my own father has done me right.
I’ve been hurt over,
and over,
and over again.
told constantly of my beauty,
but never of more.
and you know what?
I thought you were different.
I really did.
I thought you wanted me.
not just for my body, but for my mind as well.
god I wish I had known the truth.
did all those late nights spent talking mean nothing to you?
and how about the times that we kissed?
it seemed like we’d never stop.
I could have sworn you felt something
and that I did too.
now I’m not so sure.
am I just a game for you? is that all I am?
do I really mean that little?
I want the real you,
I want more than just your lips.
I want to see your true colors,
but I seem to be blind:
unable to identify what’s right in front of me.
I don’t know if I love you,
but I don’t want to anymore.
I’m tired of guessing,
and guessing,
and guessing.
I’m tired of this feeling,
but I will never be tired of you.
you, my guilty pleasure,
my forbidden fruit,
my biggest secret…
you are not the sun.
I am.

you looked of sanctity
but tasted of sin.
with your wide eyes of blue
& your porcelain skin.

your lips felt so perfect,
right up against mine.
almost as if we were
old stars aligned.

your words were like honey,
they slipped out so smooth.
& so often you spoke,
there was no interlude.

word after word,
I was spellbound.
&
kiss after kiss,
feelings unwound.

you removed all my layers;
left me stripped bare.
and all that was left were
strands of blonde hair.

were they yours?
were they mine?
were they merely a figment
of my lovedrunk mind?

till now i’m unsure,
but would I like to know?
we’ll leave this unanswered,
farewell my faux beau.

one morning I woke,
unaware it would be my last.

not my last morning breathing,
but my last without you
on my mind.

I suppose I am to blame.

I am the one who lit the match,
the one who began the game.

now I’ve lost myself.
lost myself in you.

not just in you,
but in your lies
& your lips
& your arms.

you’re everywhere
& now I’m left to wonder…
where am I?

he swore he could provide me with oceans
when all I could give back was a mere
dew drop.
And so I let him go.

5840 days isn’t a long time to be on earth
when you really think about it.
& if all goes well I should have at least another 20440 until I take my last breath.

so why rush so fast into what’s nearly guaranteed temporary?
call me a pessimist, but love is just a feeling.
and all feelings are temporary when you’re 16 years old.

so when such things are so short-lived,
why waste time on exclusivity & commitment?
especially on someone with such different visions on what love is supposed to be.

no one is obligated to provide reciprocation.
despite the other party’s ambitions or
the strength of how they feel,
some things just aren’t meant to be—
some people just weren’t made to love the same.
so be patient.
savor your youth.
& choose wisely your first love.

but when you’re ready to love?
you love hard.
you love recklessly.
you love exactly as you would want to be loved.
because regardless of its ability (or inability) to last,
love is never easy to forget.
and love should not be taken lightly.

Hey, how are you today?
Eaten yet?
What's for lunch?
I'm just about to go online
I miss you...
Love you...

Do you want to be my pretend boyfriend?
Let's pretend you are mine for a while
Simulate the expressions and situations
Is this what I want?
Split my headspace for someone else but me
Another emotional burden to to ensure you're okay
A stranger...
All through but a cold hard screen...
Typed words unread...
Or left on read...
'K'...
No, I'm not 'Kay'...
Am I even real?
Are you even real?
Is this what we want?
It feels like prentend...
It feels like make believe...
Something I cannot attain,...
Or maybe I'm just naïve...
Even though we really are,
Lovers...

they locked lips as the evening sank further
and further
and further
the sun took one last peek
i stood in shock
and heard the band slow their music
slicing open my heart
pulling its strings
and i am still here
half dead
but wishing someone would also do that to me
or that the moonlight could help me breathe
choose the tongue over comfortability

The feeling of your absence doesn't bother me,
I guess because I never lost you.
I want to move on,
but fragments of ecstasy pierce my heart,
reminding me that you're no longer mine.

When you cross my mind,
my heart skips a beat,
I just wish it also skipped the feeling, that you're weren't enough for me,
Maybe I'd still have you in my arms.

°d_cole

im addicted to you
to your laugh and your smiles
your "i havent seen you around in a while" 's
and i've made most of it up in my mind anyway
i romanticize the little things
like your bedroom and the way your t shirt clings
i can see our future so clearly its scary
its not happily ever after by any means
but its enough for now
its enough for us in our teens

Your passion blooms yellow,
Like the smile of a rising sun.
The wind blows and the daffodils bellow -
They echo a crescendo.
Their spring has begun.

Their song flows across the ground,
Blooming budding emotions in its wake.
The nectar, mixed into the soil mound,
Has enough oxytocin to make a soul ache.

These daffodils grew over the snow in my lawn,
Melting the cold as their roots gripped the earth.
I kept warm among the blossoms as the hours rolled on.
My mind gradually defrosted - like a cerebral rebirth.

My winter has mostly ended, indicated by each perennial.
I have you to thank for planting the first bulb out there -
Double digging the stubborn dirt, yet remaining congenial,
Despite the unfit sod and icy air.

I owe it to you that I've recovered whatsoever:
My cognitive crime scene, solved with your empathetic luminol.
Perhaps young love is a foolish endeavor,
But if that's so, then I'm the most foolish fool of all.

So I'll unabashedly listen to your daffodil crescendo,
And resonate with the joy in your living rhythm.
I'll plant you some chrysanthemums to match in yellow,
So we can sit together with them.