fur lined coat
misspoke, words stuck in my throat
xoxo, written
let attraction become diminished
misspoke, memories mined for gold
xoxo, smitten
misspoke, your scent clinging to my clothes
xoxo, got to go
long walk home

Do you realize how much you mean to me?
A genuine smile on your face all I want to see
Near to my heart hold the image of your face
It's one piece of you impossible to erase
Every moment we spend together helps carry me through
Lucky to have somebody in my life as special as you

we've gone from strangers in the dark

the nighttime glow of excitement 

fingers brushing

faces flushing



now things are different

i hold a warmer hand

i don't look at you the same way

my heart's not racing like before



though i don't long for our previous intimacy

the kisses and warmth are forever gone

i miss you achingly

our late night evening conversations without hearts rushing



the care we shared for each other was pure

although the heat is gone

i did this to myself

i lost a best friend

no need for a map
my heart points to you
rough lines, tough steps
can't stop what I want to do

there hasn't been a moment where I've forgotten you
even when we're far apart
as long as we meet at the end of the horizon

              I'll raise the masts
              I'm being carried by the winds

put the rough waves of water's surface into sleep
tell you a million times so you won't miss

Waiting
For you on wires I’m walking
Tightrope and your throat is
Dropping
You’re arbitrarily clocking
Seconds between hearts
Throbbing
Arrive sweetly we’re embracing
Ace of spades in my pocket
Promising
I won’t die tonight im tracing
The lines of your face and
Waiting

little things you send over
why am i not getting over
still continuing to crush me over
of those little gestures i thought will be over
what is this spell that i'm under
feeling heartbeats on down under
pumping blood like its all September
i don't wanna end this until December
please do remember
i am on this till forever

i feel the new year coming
i haaaaaaate the cold so bad
if all goes according to plan then i’ll have my mom’s ashes after christmas
i’m working on the gym ****
to be completely honest i’ve started restricting again, longest i can go is two days ehh
i’m working on the social phobia
i’ve been places myself with earbuds and you know what i’m proud actually
i still haven’t self harmed
idk exactly how long it’s been since i self harmed
i see the therapist on thursday so i suppose it’ll be a ****** tHurSdAy. Jk.. ? Um it really is just poor humor and i hate myself
work ***** but it’s gotta be done so i’m doing the thing
drinking lots of water
yeah
xoxo
-faith/ nobody