The girl hums happily, stitching the ragdoll back together.
Spools and needles lay around her, ready as ever.

Every morning she threads a needle and stuffs back the cotton.
Smiling to herself whilst looping the pretty buttons.

Each night is the same as the young girl sleeps.
The ragdoll awakens and from the bed she leaps.

She tears at her stitching and yanks out the cotton.
Pulls her limbs away and prays to lay there forgotten.

But the girl never forgets and at every dawn,
gathers the doll up with a smile and a yawn.

''Oh ragdoll, every night you do the same thing.
Tear yourself up limb from limb.

You don't think you're special or worthy or loved.
At the bottom of every pile of dolls, you've been shoved.

But I will keep stitching you back up until you see,
just how much you really mean to me.'

as far as she knew,
nobody had cared.
x-y-z... straight to the very end.
internal self-doubt
exemplies itself in her head.
traces down her spine,
yells until she just can’t take it.

(now read straight down the far left column)

He’s got all my dreams
every single one every night

He’s got all my hopes
Keeps it lock, shut and tight

He’s got all I am
And nonetheless

He was never worthy of it
And yet he has it

My dreams, my hope and me
He keeps it safe within his

heart’s reach.

i am grateful for solitude
i am grateful for every person who says thank you when i'm driving and i let them pass
i am grateful for every opportunity i have been given in my life, although i may not have taken advantage of them;
i am on my own path
i am here to create my own route
and i am not in a hurry
time is fleeting but i have paused all the clocks on the supermarket shelves
i do not rush
i can taste moments
i inhale them like the smell of fresh bed sheets
i am grateful for my body
it is articulate, it is flawless by design; it is bespoke
i learned to love myself when i stopped expecting other people to love me,
and i am grateful for all those who didn't
because now, i am grateful for me
and i travel like a lone wolf so freely under moonlight
my howl is there to invite you,
to show you that you, too, are worthy of loving you

I want to be needed.
I want him to need me to be there for him.
I want to be someone he could depend on.
I’d like to feel like I have contributed somehow.
I want to mean something and everything,
but not nothing,
to him.
I like the feeling like I’m worth something.
I want to feel needed.

I need to believe that I’m worth it.

i cannot change your heart that i love
and i cannot change your hands that hold me only when i am worthy
i cannot shape and form you and change you, to love me
no, i cannot change anything at all
and it was never of my own fault
i merely tried too hard
all along i was worthy
of a love
much warmer
than yours