As the crowd gathers
for their final goodbyes
Wondering what they could have changed
Wondering what they should have done differently
thinking to themselves
Why did he think there was no one to turn to?
Why did he think he had no one?
Why did he think he had to go through it all alone?
but
Ask yourself where were you?
Where were you on those lonely nights?
How I cried at night waiting for someone to ask me if I'm okay,
To ask me if I needed to talk,
Just a shoulder to cry on.
Lay me to bed with a promise that you will never let go
But you never came, did you...
You never asked those questions
And left me to deal with it

So as the rain starts to drop
And the sky turns grey
Shed a single tear in my Honour,
And no more!
because you only deserve the one,
So close the casket, put me in the ground
let me sink into the blackness
Crying into eternity
For forevermore

These nights are filled with fear.
Tormenting grins, sick displeasurable sins.
Oh, look another silent tear.
Pure dominance against frail figures,
fingers roam like they are at home.
Demanding hands gripping hips, thighs, anything in sight.
Always right there, never alone.
A future that is seemingly unclear
Tugging at every curve, silencing cries, punishing pleads.
Useless to fight...
Cruel shadows perpetually lurk near.
Planting a seed, making them scream until they bleed.
Skin so thin... it's rather sheer.
Pages flipped through like a book that wasn't meant to be read, at least not like this.
Being alive yet feeling as though they are dead.
Playing games, stealing worth, damaging minds.
It doesn't matter; For it's all the same through thy predators' eyes.

Eventually, no one is worth it;
Rely on yourself and do not
Await a cold cordiality from anyone;
Despite this, always be the first on
Planting happiness in people’s hearts;
Undoubtedly, someone will plant it
In your heart, life as you offer to it,
It offers you more indubitably.

Hear me scream
The walls listen with curious ears
One by one, my thoughts flow into the stream
For years that stream has killed me with fears

Overcrowded, the thoughts clash together, like waves
Roars, deafen the ears, as the thoughts seem to find speakers
They foresee the days where the only thing to do is to dig the graves
They become such harsh beaters

Creeping into my eyes, burning memories make themselves known
Tearing me apart, muscle by muscle, sense by sense
Raise a shaky hand to my face, touch bone
Feel the stream verge on hurricane, every muscle tense

One single tear falls from the hollow bone where eyes once resided
A flurry of thoughts, burning memories, rush to the surface
Scream out in terror as my body, and mind divided
Feelings ripple, and washes away my only purpose

I am worthless

Nary an original thought possesses me,

maybe I should become mute?

But then how would I boast about my obnoxious self perceived importance?

Oft have I paused to think upon faith and what makes it strong.
The faith to be wise and to know right from wrong.
No not the faith that gives rise for Gods to be born.
But the strength and belief to fight when I am most torn.
I speak of the faith to believe of who I might be.
The faith to know with conviction its enough to be me.
A faith to be sure and a faith with no doubt.
No mumbles in meekness but a voice raised in shout.
So long since my faith was so raised up on high.
So little belief now that there is nought else but to cry.
What can be done to restore faith that is now lost.
With each thought and contemplation at additional cost.
So low now on faith... did I ever really believe?
Perhaps all along... not faith... but only... self deceive?
How can I live a life where all belief of self has faded away.
To what point, without my own faith, to greet the next day.