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Dawn Treader Mar 2021
I hope she was worth
All of my effort
All of my strength
All of my sacrifice
I hope she was worth
All of my sleepless nights
All the joy
All the tears
All my plans for us
I hope she was worth
Five seconds of *******
In exchange for five years
My feelings were true
And it truly hurts
To know that I was worth
Nothing but a quick *****.
No time to think on this one, written in less than a minute. No time for rhyme or dissection of feeling. It is how I am feeling at this moment.
Dawn Treader Mar 2021
You have walked by my side
From the time I was a child
You are a beauty
Dark and ugly
Just like me
You are suppression
You are fear
You scream out loud
Everything I don't want to hear
My little light
Is shrouded by you
Take my tiny hand
We'll walk this life together
A knowing nod to you
As I stare in the mirror
Little Demon
You are mine
Sit on my shoulder
Til the day I die.
I have decided to let her walk beside me. She has carried me far.
Dawn Treader Mar 2021
Forgive me
I am on the mend
My vagus nerve
Seemingly cut
Has made it difficult
For me to breathe
The blow was sudden
The pain severe
What's the consequence
Of a severed nerve?
One of such importance?
An irregular heartbeat,
Unbridled anxiety,
Laborious speaking,
An ambush attack.
The day before
I was loved
And now I am not
I feel like I have failed in many aspects of my life, especially when it comes to keeping a relationship together.
Dawn Treader Mar 2021
Those words spoken long ago
I choked them down dry and raw
Now I find regurgitation
To be the only way
In avoiding asphyxiation
Belief is one thing
Reality another
A monster when combined
Some call it "Love"
Some call it a "Lie"
Delusion is jelly-thick
You know what tastes nice?
I poisoned myself on hope and seclusion
Love, may you gag on my rotting flesh
My eyes have opened
My mouth agape
Choked out from love's embrace
My feelings on a long complicated relationship that has left me feeling so many emotions I thought I had pushed far away.
Dawn Treader Mar 2019
Death is merely
Emptying the Goblet of Life
Back into the carafe
From which it came
I am bitter wine
Aging on borrowed time
Just thinking of my mortality
Dawn Treader Apr 2018
In your absence,
I have learned many a thing on my own:
How to feed a family,
How to dress a wound,
How to console the broken-hearted,
How to press a shirt,
How to count by fives,
What creams to apply for itchy hives,
How to listen for cars on the road,
How to lighten a parental load.
Physically you were there,
But not as a loving unit,
More like aberrations,
You sat there in your depression,
On your king sized bed,
Time slipped by,
Many nights I sat alone and cried.
Now you don't know your twenty-something daughter.
In your presence I learned to love,
In a warped and twisted manner.
A trail of men lay lifeless behind me,
Bodies twisted, faces contorted in agony,
I ****** them dry,
My life has too much turmoil for most to bear,
But that's alright, I'm used to people not being there.
You fantasize about a relationship with me,
But it's too late,
I'm the daughter you refused to see.
These showers of praise from you are lies from snakes,
A few dollars here and there is all you think it takes,
To undo a life of torment,
You are mistaken.
In your absence I have learned many a thing,
How to hold a hand,
How to speak my mind,
How tightly abandonment actually binds.
Sick people raise sick children. Only the strong change.
Dawn Treader Feb 2018
Silver tongued serpent,
Emerald-eyed warlock,
When he speaks, the crowds will surely flock,
Raven-haired "deity"
Creator of his own piety
Atheism is my saving grace
Otherwise I'd be caught up with him in some cult-like space
He, a fierce lion
I, a timid gazelle
This shapeshifter of a man
Stalked his prey until she waned
The energy to avoid his pursuit is well beyond drained
I put up a good fight, ignored his advances every single night
Professing his love to me tested my might
Am I upset this man wore me down?
In the beginning, indeed.
But now I understand that we were both in need
Of someone who could withstand intense emotion
Of someone who would show unfaltering devotion
Reluctantly starting a relationship, in denial of my feelings.
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