a latticework of axioms
avoid the death instinct
and remain immortal

finding light in the
darkest nightmare
extracting the anti-venom
from every pitch black crevice

rejecting the perspective of Power
ejecting oneself from the
true void that is
a purely aesthetic way of life

spontaneous and
spirit enhancing
enchanting, fast-flowing turbulence of
artistic formulations
transforming barely lucid
fantastical frameworks into
newly virtuous neologisms

flirting with the idea of
creating something out of nothing
without intentions to destroy it

last minute decisions
preserving precision
keeping things afloat
despite the dimly lit overflow

Well you’re the mistaken heart; the martyr; the sinner
Who died for her cause and the title Beginner -
Now don’t you feel bad just because I know where my place is.
Went straight from, “You’re brilliant,” to, “Oh, you’re so selfish,”
Weren’t there for the beatings and ignored the clauses
That suggested you’re more than a page on my bookshelf
Or the smiles that told you I hate it.

Now there’s tragedy - yes, a break in the story -
Her fear of loss makes her lose.
But she doesn’t care because she’s lost nothing
Besides a spinning string
That bent away from everything
Which tried to tie it still

She lost seams and innocence in passion;
It used to hurt when she bothered to mention
But now I’m immune and just imagining the next chapter.
I can’t even feel the body I’m touching;
Eyes try to catch mine but I’m thinking of nothing.
Seems I’m not good enough again
When I am compared to a pastor.

I tried to stop it but you’re just a memory
That resonates more like a nightmare.
It’s fading fast and losing credit -
Sorry, I don’t care.
You’ll be fine.

My soul oozes
Out from the sores
On my skin
I dug for myself and
Latches on to the holes
In my veins
Like poison from venomous
Snakes. And
I can't stop it from
Going straight to my brain
And heart.
I don't see a point
In taking chances on things.
I can't ******* see
Myself without scars
Everywhere
I can't ******* see myself
without fresh
Gashes or bruises
And I can't ******* see
Myself smiling.
I don't eat because
The hunger pains
Remind me I am still
Breathing.
The pain like ****
Making it harder
To be okay and
Making it harder
For people to look at me
Without getting repulsed.
I'm like an infection.
I can't breathe properly
And haven't been able
To since...
I can't remember how long
It's been since I last
Breathed clean air
Calmly.
I can't imagine looking
In a mirror and feeling
Good enough.
So I sit.
In the dark and let my soul
Ooze out onto my sheets
And pray
I don't wake up

Kiss me soundlessly.
Or **** me in your sleep.
I've drowned in your madness.    
And dived in too deep.          

Touch me lovingly.
Or thrill me with your lips.                
I've bathed in your venom.      
Darling',    
it no longer piques.

I don't want you
Any part of your noxious soul
You *******, obliterate, destroy
Like venom in veins
Slowly eat away
Look at the pain
You caused so much
Broken hearts, twisted remarks
Undone, redone to undo again
Your ways make absolutely no ******* sense
****** sensations
My only limitation
But insanity comes with a heavy price
Now nothing ever seems to suffice
Normal conversation is all that was required
Of course, too much to ask, from a lowly squire
Everything you touch turns to ash
If it weren't for compassion I would've never acted so rash
But now that's all trash
You've proven your worth
Correct, none
I want all my doings to be undone
**** your tainted mind
How do I leave this **** behind


                                                 *s.q.

Come closer
by all means come closer where in a blink
pools fix and widen into trackless lakes
your eyes unflinching against my own
forcing mine to yield to look's vortex power
I sink lengthways on to beached magnificence
fearing no fences bind this brimming shore
desiring all of your cresting feistiness

we close in privacy like a whispered prayer
I stoop to overhear furled head to head
the feather of your cheek ticked pinker
confession spilling loosely off shoulders
flowing undressed like some burlesque fantail
and I found myself buoyed up on thin air
shocked by the vapour in essential oils
so lavishly luxurious their condensing iniquity
I could only try to endure your body heat
by closing my own eyes for a moment
but out of focus pours into a concentrate

the control over hands gives me false hope
but I find a clearing of purity overwhelms me
caught helpless in all I add to mire seeping cruel
your lifeline lips offering a hint of moist buoyancy
then sinking a ship of plumped up poison
purple as inky clouds penetrating my mind
the slim tip of your tongue elusively unkind
flickering like a searching candle in a cave
dripping in irregular beats an anti-doting
to form rivulets which in their mystical midst
surround a fresh discovered vale to defile

I feel it's formation in an archway of neck
the undercurrents freed into giving way
you suspend on the bridge an apex and deck
my firmly held happiness into crowning cries
overflowing from the safety of inner recesses
the excesses needing knee breeches on both sides
to wade through a drowning press of paradise
in on the outstretched reach of a relentless tide

yet gorgeous is its precipitous edging test
with bouts of engorged selfishness
I hear your eager call in urge
return
from compliance into shambolic demands
until I am summoned to a trembling portal
biting on its handles like a moon crazed wolf
wanting to escape but in awe of its might
that it will capsize and spring open floodgates

plunging me back into dizzy abandonment's past
to the captivating idea of a last biting grasp
at your sweep-me-up voluptuous swoon
so tight on my heart we both go swimming
from intakes of breath into open eyes again
loving the saltpetre of a spa bath drop descent
into rapids extinguishing hot pulsating harm
which taunts and scolds me to calm the claim
for more days of dangerous vain tainted venom
held at bay
held aloft
by your pressure
bandage
arms

whenever i would say no
your face would darken
& i can see smoke
filling into your irises
light
getting blocked
by a deeper hunger
the tongue is not able
to understand

you would bare your teeth
& get onto me anyway
sinking your fangs
deep
into my paper skin
leaving so much
red
on my flesh

you know
i have found another
heartbeat
inside of me
&
i can't let my body
be its home
for there's so much of you
staining on me
your venom
is pulsating within me

&
maybe
this is the only thing
i will keep
from
you